₦airaland Forum

Tamedu is the proprietor of a Foo-Foo and Isi-Ewu Shop (Exotic Nigerian food) in Lagos, Nigeria.



Sales are low and, in order to increase them, he comes up with a plan to allow his customers to eat now and pay later. He keeps track of the meals consumed on a ledger.

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flock to Tamedu's shop. His suppliers are delighted and are very willing to sell more and more raw materials for the meals he prepares. Tamedu shows them his ledger of receivables and they extend him credit.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local Nairaland bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and gives Tamedu a credit line and then increases Tamedu?s borrowing limit.

Taking advantage of his customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Tamedu jacks up the prices of his Foo-Foo and Isi-Ewu.
Customers don?t mind as they are not required to pay on the spot. Sales volume increases massively; Banks and suppliers lend more; Tamedu opens more outlets in Abuja, Kaduna, Port Harcourt and Ibadan. He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the customers as collateral.

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers recognize Tamedu's customer loans as assets and transform these customer assets into Bonds. These negotiable instruments are given exotic names such as FoofooBond, IsiBond, EwuBond and EgusiBond.

These securities are then listed on the Stock Exchange and traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what the names mean and how the securities are guaranteed but, nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a credit risk manager of the Nairaland bank decides that the time has come to demand payment of one of the debts incurred by Tamedu. Tamedu in turn asks his clients to pay up. One by one they refuse; the clients cannot pay back the debts. Tamedu refuses to serve them anymore. The clients stop coming.

Tamedu is really screwed now. He cannot fulfill his loan obligations and therefore claims bankruptcy. All bonds drop in price by between 80 to 95%.

The suppliers of Tamedu, having granted generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with similar problems. The goat-meat supplier defaults on payment to the Mallam who sells goats to him and to the cattle supplier and claims bankruptcy. The yam supplier is taken over by a competitor; Tamedu lays off the cook and staff. Bankruptcies soar, unemployment mushrooms.

The Nairaland bank that lent the money in the first place is set to collapse. It is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the Peoples Undemocratic Party with Tamedu commuting back and forth in his Executive jet and Mercedes 500SEL, brokering the deal.

The funds required to save the economic collapse are obtained by a tax levied on the citizens, most of whom do not eat Foo-Foo or Isi-Ewu.


What do you think??

@ I-fy

No vex. Take it easy.

Things are not exactly what they seem to be.
Mildred wrongly assumed that parking my car in front of the bar meant I was at the bar and indulging in alcohol consumption and other related vices contrary to the church's doctrine (?). This may not be true, in the sense that any other thing could have been the reason why my car was parked there.

Using her line of thought, I parked my car in front of her house to let her know that even though my car was parked in front of her house I was not in her house. This realisation made her understand that not all that glitters is gold. That things are not exactly what they seem to be- always. I did not debase myself, it was just my way of passing a message to a fellow church member. I can assure you, the method was effective. Mildred got the message.

@ I - fy


analogous to parking the car in front of the bar, parking the car in front of mildred's house implied that I spent the night in her house ( read I slept with her). Mildred was tongue-tied. she stopped gossiping

Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose in the other members' private lives. Church members were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused me (then a new member), of being an alcoholic after she saw my car parked in front of a bar one afternoon.

She commented to me and several others that everyone seeing it there would know what I was doing.

Being a man of few words, I stared at her for a moment and just walked away. I didn't explain, defend, or deny; I just said nothing.

Later that evening, I quietly parked my car in front of Mildred's house, and left it there all night!

Reminescence, nostalgia, fantasizing. call it what you like.
I guess everyone has a right to let his or her mind wander or float.
The problem starts when one begins to impement the fantasy.


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it is all about relationships

Are women truly insatiable?

There are those among them who have it all are complaining.
They are married to good husbands, have dream children and family, dream jobs, dream cars, dream home, dream social life and if you let me dream finances. Yet they are not fulfilled. Despite all these they may have inordinate desires for something mundane and inappropriate, something that will make you begin to wonder if they are alright. They seem unsatisfied and restless.

Those who do not have it all, spend their days fantasizing on having it all.
In the final analysis it seems both are not fulfilled, both live their lives in a state of want.
Are women really insatiable? What can be done for women to be contented?




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it is all about relationships [b][/b]

The issue of a Nigerian Pastor or indeed any pastor taking a bribe may not arise. Why would one offer a bribe to a pastor? Is the bribe meant to force the pastor to pray for you, or to preach the gospel? Usually bribes are offered to gain undue advantage on something, over others, and against the law, policy or due process.
Maybe we should spend more time projecting ourselves positively in the light of our new branding exercise. Nigeria: Good People. Great Nation.


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it is all about relationships

Last week was my birthday

and I didn't feel very well

waking up on that morning.



I went downstairs for breakfast

hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.



As it turned out,

she barely said good morning,

let alone

' Happy Birthday.'



I thought,



Well, that's marriage for you,

but the kids,

They will remember.



My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.

So when I left for the office,

I felt pretty low

and somewhat despondent.



As I walked into my office,

my secretary Jane said,

'Good Morning Boss,

and by the way

Happy Birthday ! '

It felt a little better

that at least someone had remembered.



I worked until one o'clock ,

when Jane knocked on my door

and said, 'You know,

It's such a beautiful day outside,

and it is your Birthday,

what do you say we go out to lunch,

just you and me.'

I said, 'Thanks, Jane,

that's the greatest thing

I've heard all day.

Let's go !'



We went to lunch.

But we didn't go

where we normally would go.

She chose instead at a quiet bistro

with a private table.

We had two martinis each

and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.



On the way back to the office,

Jane said, 'You know,

It's such a beautiful day,

We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?'



I responded,

'I guess not.

What do you have in mind ?'

She said,

'Let's drop by my apartment,

it's just around the corner.'









After arriving at her apartment,

Jane turned to me and said,

' Boss, if you don't mind,

I'm going to step into the bedroom

for just a moment.

I'll be right back.'

'Ok.' I nervously replied.



She went into the bedroom and,

after a couple of minutes,

she came out

carrying a huge birthday cake ,

Followed

by my wife,

my kids,

and dozens of my friends

and co-workers,

all singing 'Happy Birthday'.



And I just sat there,



On the couch,





Naked.





That's Why I fired my Secretary!



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it is all about relationships

The Financial Standard Newpaper of March 2, 2009 reports that Diamond Bank Plc, one of the leading banks in Nigeria has adopted new working hours. They are now to close work by 7.00 pm every work day.
This is to enable their workers go home on time to eat dinner with members of their family.

They report explained that bankers were closing late, thereby unable to relate with their family. They leave the house very early (before their children wake up) in order to beat traffic snarl and return very late (after their children would have slept off). In this way, they are unable to relate and bond with their families.

The report also listed the benefits from this development to include happier families, better relationships (the bankers can now spend quality time with their family every day, parents will get to know their children better), saved marriages which would have sufferred from lack of intimacy as a result of psychological distance created between couples in the name of work), safety of lives and property (recall armed robbery attacks especially late at nights when the workers are going home) e.t.c.

Laudable as these may be, the question that comes to my mind is when were they closing work before, and also why 7.00 p.m?
7.00 pm is still late. Considering the traffic situation in Lagos and other major cities in Nigeria, if you close work at 7.00 pm. you will still miss eating dinner with your family, Shouldn't 5.00 pm be more like it?





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it is all about relationships

The Nigerian Guardian Newspaper reported today that generating set fumes
killed a father, mother and four others.

According to the newspaper, the tragedy which struck in Edo State of Nigeria
was suspected to have killed a 75 year old husband, his 50 year old wife and four other members of his family.


When will this type of disaster stop?



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Now that year 2008 is about to roll away for ever, what are your regrets for 2008 and EXPECTATIONS for 2009?

It may be wrong to simply assume that Ribadu was dismissed because of spite, in error or out of insanity prevailing in the system.
Ribadu himself has weaknesses which we all know. In addition the reasons for his dismissal was made public. Furthermore, even Ribadu and his EFCC had a mantra that said nobody was above the law. We are in the rule of law. If any injustice was done Ribadu should be free to follow due process and seek amends (justice) in the court of law. I am glad he is already following that direction. In the final analysis, we should be able to know what really happened.

Men have their ways
So also do women
But the ways of a woman are beyond full understanding.

How do you deal with a treacherous woman?
(read spouse)




http://dealwithrelationships..com

The politics of fuel subsidy in Nigeria amuses me!

When petroluem products' (read crude oil) price is high, the government will increase the pump price of fuel in response to the high prices.

When the prices are low, the government will retain or even increase the pump price of fuel.

They say it is done that way in order to recover subsidy. I don't understand. What do you think?



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xmas is around the corner!
holidays are here again.
but tell me, what is the best way to celebrate xmas?




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I think her nomination and appointment as Information Minister is quite in order.
Prof Dora Akunyili is a performer any day. She will do justice to the Ministry of Information. Recall
that before she was appointeed DG NAFDAC, nobody gave her any chance of succeeding. She succeeded extremely well. She will do the same in the ministry of information.
No person,organisation or indeed nation will do well without access to adequate, timely and resourceful  information. Development starts from information. The problem of Nigeria is information-based. I have no doubt Akunyili will do well in that capacity. Let's support her to excel, project the government and render the much needed dividends of democracy.



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the man (ogd) said he has repaired all the roads.
problem is that no one can see the repaired roads.
we needs binoculars to see the roads he built

Why do we marry?

When the market fails, the government intervenes.
The failure of the market is a call for the government to intervene.
When the market fails, the government should also not fail.



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even the dead can rise.



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This is Naija!

In the final analysis, Nobody is above the law.

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My advise.
Just keep thinking about him, especially the bad moments and the not-so-good moments.
keep thinking of him until you get fed up with him. It is only then, that you can move on.
The truth (which you may not see now) is that if he left you, for 11 months plus, then he is not worthy of you.


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Do women really love men?
I have seen a lot of women profess a lot of love to a lot of men.
I have also seen men who do the same.
But do women truly love men?
Are they just seeking company?
Are the women seeking fulfilment or money from or with the men?
Are the women professing love in order to get security,protection or cover?
Or they simply want to have a man they can call their own?

It appears to me, that if a woman gets all she wants, then she may not truly love the man.
She will begin to profess independence, women liberation,unwillingness to become submissive to the man, etc. Do women truly love men?.


www.wetindeyforum.com

this thread is old. has been on for some months. the ultimatum has also lapsed. i guess we need a re-orientation to what marriage is all about. i guess it is not just about money, not just about provision, not just about ego, and not even just about company. it has to do will finding one's soulmate/helper and achieving a soul connection as one. so whatever you do to ensure success in the task called marriage is your style. the ability to remain in that institution and work out your peace and joy is a true test of character, debt and maturity. that's why they say married people are responsible.



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http://dealwithrelationships..com

Hi guys,


Men will always be men
Women will always try to be women.
But who is 100% sure of his spouse?



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it is all about relationships

Looking good is good business.
A lot of people make a lot of money from those things.
Let them enjoy the money at our expense LOL

They are make believe.
They are not real.
They simply cover our so called inadequacies.



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funny story !!!!!
I can't laugh.





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