Fairytales:
even if you love him and he meets your criteria?

Yea even if he meets my criteria and all dat. And as for love, we all know it doesnt last forever. Therefore I will still insist on the court wedding and if he loves me enough he will agree to it buh if nt then..........

agarawu23:
take time o u this lady

leyin atotonu Ree

ILE EJO O YII DA E LEJO PE O JARE

herboshedhe:

leyin atotonu Ree


ILE EJO O YII DA E LEJO PE O JARE

I msg u months ago anonymously on what'sapp.

You remember that unknown person? "Your future husband"

Jadekitana:
Sorry I know of someone who just ended his marriage! He did court,traditional and church. When the woman was misbehaving badly, no pastor, nor documents nor traditions could make him change his mind. He kicked her to the curbs and signed an Alimony to cater for their son! He would be getting married later in June to someone else. Bottom line is when you are married, behave yourself as a lady or a guy! Divorce is inevitable,nobody is indisposable.

You sef!

DemiGoddess:
You think am a man because of what I typed?.Go through my posts and you will find out that am not like the average african female who is clueless and quick to accept senseless and ridiculous foreign culture and ideas.You will regret this post if I give you the opportunity of meeting me offline.Demi Goddess is an intelligent,traditional and superior breed of the female negro homo sapiens.Now run along...

That's an insult.... enough of it!

agarawu23:
I msg u months ago anonymously on what'sapp.

You remember that unknown person? "Your future husband"

lol.....you ehn



OYO NA YOUR CASE O

agarawu23:
I msg u months ago anonymously on what'sapp.

You remember that unknown person? "Your future husband"

nibo o?


malemi kuro Nile oko o

herboshedhe:

nibo o?


malemi kuro Nile oko o

lol
I have already, go check

agarawu23:
lol I have already, go check

yeye

Jadekitana:


Lol ofcourse it would be cool

Can you speak Itsekiri? What part of Warri are you familiar with?

funmind:
That's an insult.... enough of it!

That was hardly an insult...

Lezzlie:
Any lady who insists on court marriage has got a scheme that doesn't include the hubby on the brighter side.

No girl insists on court marriage if the hubby is flat out broke or struggling.

If you check most homicide findings, in the West, you see couples kill couples either to acquire the estate or not having to pay for divorce and alimony settlements.


Back to Nigeria, every Nigerian woman is predisposed to fall victim to the sweet talk of thieving pastors, prophets, seers and fortune-tellers who tell her what she wants to hear.

Add that to the number of exes who can ignite her dying fires and you're looking at a potential disaster, once people start appreciating the benefits of court marriage.

You've said it all.

Lezzlie:
Can you speak Itsekiri? What part of Warri are you familiar with?

I know ekpan very well, used to have a friend there! Aside that I was born and bred in lagos. I visit portharcourt every December for hols

Jadekitana:


I know ekpan very well, used to have a friend there! Aside that I was born and bred in lagos. I visit portharcourt every December for hols

That's the NNPC housing complex and SNAPS, I used to do school-runs for my little brother then.

My district is close to ekpan, less than 20 minutes' drive actually...

Being born and bred in Lagos makes you more of a Lagosian than a Deltan or Riverian

My Christmas has no planned pattern, I go whenever the wind of the moment takes me, and it's often Enugu, Anambra and Delta.

I love the surprise of adventure without having to plan ahead and be ready.

Having to improvise and be spontaneous to events, people and situations is fun my heart never ceases beating frantically for.

Wow that's really cool. You seem to love adventure like me . Well we really should cross paths, you sound interesting I know you are.

Lezzlie:
That's the NNPC housing complex and SNAPS, I used to do school-runs for my little brother then.

My district is close to ekpan, less than 20 minutes' drive actually...

Being born and bred in Lagos makes you more of a Lagosian than a Deltan or Riverian

My Christmas has no planned pattern, I go whenever the wind of the moment takes me, and it's often Enugu, Anambra and Delta.

I love the surprise of adventure without having to plan ahead and be ready.

Having to improvise and be spontaneous to events, people and situations is fun my heart never ceases beating frantically for.

Much ado about nothing

Despite your profanity I can understand your perspective on this issue. But this argument only stands if the man is the sole breadwinner of the family and the woman is a housewife. If you marry a woman traditionally and she is working and contributing monetarily to the household, it is unfair. That is to say of the property in the marriage was purchased through both husband and wife contribution. No educated working woman will allow you to just take everything should the marriage dissolve.

Also what if there are children involved? You will kick the woman out and what will happen to the children? If there is shared custody where will the children go to visit thier mother? If she is not a working woman? You will allow your children to suffer because of your I'll feelings toward thier mother?

For you to think that only lazy women ask for court weddings is misguided. Justice in the court of law is justice. Unless the wife doesn't not bring anything forward to the marriage a traditional marriage is not feasible. Both husband and wifes rights in the marriage must be recognized.

agarawu23:
sorry!!!
I honestly can't do court wedding with ANY lady and NOBODY can change my mind on that.

These set of ladies with court wedding do behave silly and I can't take such shiit. You expect me to marry a Lady and if she messed up , I kick her ass out and one mumu court will divide my property for such biitch? God4bid.

If you can't marry me cos I ain't doing court, another person will.

After all only lazy and bad minded ladies will insist on court wedding

Where are you getting your facts from? You are manipulating your opinions as facts, speaking in totality as if you have done a quantitative study on the issue. A court marriage just means that a marriage is recognized by the state/country. Simple. A marriage license is issued. That's all it is. Outside of nigeria (perhaps africa) it is the norm everywhere else. Poor and rich alike go through court marriages. Actually it's part of the church wedding. All paperwork filled out and signed on the day. In regulated counties there are actually tax benefits for married couples (recognized by the law) as opposed to people who cohabitate together.

It sounds as if you are threatened that a woman would want to have her marriage legitimized in the eyes of the law. I don't see the harm. At all. You seem to view a court marriage as a way for a woman to collect what you feel she doesn't deserve. But to be honest that implies that you are marrying a woman who does not contribute to the household. If both husband and wife are working and contributing to the household, properties and such then it only makes sense that God forbid they ever separate that the assets will be shared appropriately.

I don't condone divorce, but the reality is that it happens. A court marriage benefits both husband and wife. If they separate then the allocation of assets should be split up fairly. Not based on ego.

Also I would like to correct a statement you made about pre-nuptual agreements. Their purpose is to protect the assets of the husband or wife or both previous to the marriage. In the case the couple should separate the wealth/property owned by either party stays with the rightful owner. NowbWhatever wealth that was gained while part of the marriage is shared amongst the couple in whatever way us agreed upon between the couple, thier lawyers and ultimately the judge. So to be honest while you may think you are against the "western ideology and court system" I believe the pre-nup actually benefits your ideology. It protects your interests should anything go wrong in the marriage.

Lezzlie:
Any lady who insists on court marriage has got a scheme that doesn't include the hubby on the brighter side.

No girl insists on court marriage if the hubby is flat out broke or struggling.

If you check most homicide findings, in the West, you see couples kill couples either to acquire the estate or not having to pay for divorce and alimony settlements.


Back to Nigeria, every Nigerian woman is predisposed to fall victim to the sweet talk of thieving pastors, prophets, seers and fortune-tellers who tell her what she wants to hear.

Add that to the number of exes who can ignite her dying fires and you're looking at a potential disaster, once people start appreciating the benefits of court marriage.

Memejem:



Where are you getting your facts from? You are manipulating your opinions as facts, speaking in totality as if you have done a quantitative study on the issue.

What opinions are you talking about?

Memejem:


A court marriage just means that a marriage is recognized by the state/country. Simple. A marriage license is issued. That's all it is. Outside of nigeria (perhaps africa)

Now you're guilty of everything you accuse me of!!! Court/statutory marriage isn't just a marriage that's recognised by law!!! There are a lot of legal intricacies and extra judicial interpretation and consequences than any other forms of marriage. Do not speak of what do don't know. If a couple opt for court marriage, it means the wife cannot be arrested as an accessory after the fact of a crime committed by the husband!!! So even if the wife shields a criminal husband, she is immune by law!!! Again, even if she commits adutlry, the husband can't kick her out without the court's pronouncement, and only a high court can do that in Nigeria, not magistrate court. It also means that the wife has a certain percentage of her husband's estate to inherit, fixed by law! I can't begin to go on without exhausting pages. But don't ever presume a court marriage is just a marriage recognised by law. It is more than that!

As a matter of fact both traditional and white weddings are recognised by law but they aren't as protected or governed by law as is statutory marriage!!!

Memejem:


it is the norm everywhere else. Poor and rich alike go through court marriages. Actually it's part of the church wedding.

Now how the fùck is a church wedding related to statutory wedding? Gosh!!! If I had seen this before I hit the quote button, I wouldn't have bothered you with a reply.
You do not know the first thing about statutory marriage.


It isn't the norm everywhere. It is a Western thing. It isn't so in Asia or even north Africa or northern Nigeria. It's a borrowed culture from the West.

Memejem:


All paperwork filled out and signed on the day. In regulated counties there are actually tax benefits for married couples (recognized by the law) as opposed to people who cohabitate together.

Other forms of marriage have these benefits as well!

Memejem:


It sounds as if you are threatened that a woman would want to have her marriage legitimized in the eyes of the law. I don't see the harm. At all. You seem to view a court marriage as a way for a woman to collect what you feel she doesn't deserve.

Prenuptial agreement has cured the stupidish vulnerability that statutory marriage seems to open up!!!

Memejem:



But to be honest that implies that you are marrying a woman who does not contribute to the household. If both husband and wife are working and contributing to the household, properties and such then it only makes sense that God forbid they ever separate that the assets will be shared appropriately.

I don't condone divorce, but the reality is that it happens. A court marriage benefits both husband and wife. If they separate then the allocation of assets should be split up fairly. Not based on ego.

Also I would like to correct a statement you made about pre-nuptual agreements. Their purpose is to protect the assets of the husband or wife or both previous to the marriage. In the case the couple should separate the wealth/property owned by either party stays with the rightful owner. NowbWhatever wealth that was gained while part of the marriage is shared amongst the couple in whatever way us agreed upon between the couple, thier lawyers and ultimately the judge. So to be honest while you may think you are against the "western ideology and court system" I believe the pre-nup actually benefits your ideology. It protects your interests should anything go wrong in the marriage.

The rest of your submissions are lost in the pool of subjective interpretation of my opinion of statutory marriage.

And I never opined that prenups are meant to include assets acquired after marriage. You're good at making stuffs up.

And yes in Africa, after fulfilling traditional and religious rites of marriage, I will give it more than a casual thought if my lady insists on statutory marriage.


And oh.....you've made some damning blunders which have necessitated my decision not to bother you with any more replies.

Bye!

Jadekitana:
Wow that's really cool. You seem to love adventure like me . Well we really should cross paths, you sound interesting I know you are.

June awaits us then!!!

Hoping I could manipulate my time away and extend my May breakbreak, I'll take you to my favourite pepper-soup joint

Jadekitana:
Sorry I know of someone who just ended his marriage! He did court,traditional and church. When the woman was misbehaving badly, no pastor, nor documents nor traditions could make him change his mind. He kicked her to the curbs and signed an Alimony to cater for their son! He would be getting married later in June to someone else. Bottom line is when you are married, behave yourself as a lady or a guy! Divorce is inevitable,nobody is indisposable.

It's easy to kick your wife out on grounds of misconduct

Used to think court gives some sort of security not until a couple were having a fight and the lady said thank god they wedded in the court she will just take her share and leave.. The man said "no be who dey alive during court ruling dey take property?"... I stiff....


Court, church traditional, who bad don bad like drag them to hell...

Lezzlie:
June awaits us then!!!

Hoping I could manipulate my time away and extend my May breakbreak, I'll take you to my favourite pepper-soup joint

Haha that would be fun

You are the most emotional man I have ever come across. You take discourse as a personal attack. Relax. This is just nairaland and is a discussion. You can not reason articulately without insulting.its a testament to your character to be honest. The discourse at hand is marriage. And you are here going on and on as if your first born depends on it. At the end of the day it's a matter of opinion. It doesn't make anyone a bad person because of the type of marriage they prefer to have.

You still view court marriage negatively because you feel it gives a woman rights. That only shows your character. You feel threatened by a female having rights. You didnt address how a court marriage would play out if BOTH husband and wife were similar contributors to the marriage. You keep mentioning husbands estate? Is it only a husband that can contribute to an estate? What if the wife equally contributed or had some part in it. This is no longer the 1950s, women work. I don't know why you are limiting your outlook to Nigeria alone. The question has to do with court marriage. Nigerians are spread all over the world.

Your view on law is flawed to say the least. I don't claim to be a lawyer. But if a husband and wife committed a crime both of them can and will be arrested. Marriage doesn't take away culpability in a crime. If a wife or husband is an accessory to a crime then they are guilty. It has nothing to do with marriage. You are confusing getting arrested and spouses acting as witnesses in criminal trials. In the United states a spouse does not in most cases have to testify against thier spouse and in mist cases they are not seen as appropriate witnesses because they have such a strong personal relationship. But a judge can overrule that. And it goes for BOTH male and female. Not just females alone. You are very one sided in your perspective.

I don't know about any law that states what percentage of a married couples estate each is entitled to should the marriage dissolve. Unless Nigerian law is backwards these terms are agreed upon once divorce negotiations start. AFTER the marriage.

The purpose of a court marriage is to protect the individuals in the marriage. Not just the wife. But the husband as well.

I'm not 100% familiar with marital law. But if the laws states (and I doubt it) that a woman is immune to criminal acts of her husband. Then it should be vise versa that the husband is immune to the criminal acts of the wife. You are so one sided with everything it's painful.

All of your arguments are applicable to both male and female. I don't know if you just hate women. But if you don't trust why you are marrying, get a pre-nup or don't marry that person.

Lezzlie:
What opinions are you talking about?

Now you're guilty of everything you accuse me of!!! Court/statutory marriage isn't just a marriage that's recognised by law!!! There are a lot of legal intricacies and extra judicial interpretation and consequences than any other forms of marriage. Do not speak of what do don't know. If a couple opt for court marriage, it means the wife cannot be arrested as an accessory after the fact of a crime committed by the husband!!! So even if the wife shields a criminal husband, she is immune by law!!! Again, even if she commits adutlry, the husband can't kick her out without the court's pronouncement, and only a high court can do that in Nigeria, not magistrate court. It also means that the wife has a certain percentage of her husband's estate to inherit, fixed by law! I can't begin to go on without exhausting pages. But don't ever presume a court marriage is just a marriage recognised by law. It is more than that!

As a matter of fact both traditional and white weddings are recognised by law but they aren't as protected or governed by law as is statutory marriage!!!

Now how the fùck is a church wedding related to statutory wedding? Gosh!!! If I had seen this before I hit the quote button, I wouldn't have bothered you with a reply.
You do not know the first thing about statutory marriage.


It isn't the norm everywhere. It is a Western thing. It isn't so in Asia or even north Africa or northern Nigeria. It's a borrowed culture from the West. Other forms of marriage have these benefits as well! Prenuptial agreement has cured the stupidish vulnerability that statutory marriage seems to open up!!! The rest of your submissions are lost in the pool of subjective interpretation of my opinion of statutory marriage.

And I never opined that prenups are meant to include assets acquired after marriage. You're good at making stuffs up.

And yes in Africa, after fulfilling traditional and religious rites of marriage, I will give it more than a casual thought if my lady insists on statutory marriage.


And oh.....you've made some damning blunders which have necessitated my decision not to bother you with any more replies.

Bye!

Exactly!!! Most of the people here arguing against court marriage is because they feel that should anything go wrong in the marriage they will loose out.

They should go and get a pre-nup if they're so concerned about the possibility of divorce.

Lemme tell you the truth. Traditional marriages do not help a woman in this country if her marriage ever fails. That's why women go and buy land without letting thier husband know. Because of backwards mentality.

favoured234:
Used to think court gives some sort of security not until a couple were having a fight and the lady said thank god they wedded in the court she will just take her share and leave.. The man said "no be who dey alive during court ruling dey take property?"... I stiff....


Court, church traditional, who bad don bad like drag them to hell...

Memejem:
You are the most emotional man I have ever come across. You take discourse as a personal attack. Relax. This is just nairaland and is a discussion. You can not reason articulately without insulting.its a testament to your character to be honest. The discourse at hand is marriage. And you are here going on and on as if your first born depends on it. At the end of the day it's a matter of opinion. It doesn't make anyone a bad person because of the type of marriage they prefer to have.

You still view court marriage negatively because you feel it gives a woman rights. That only shows your character. You feel threatened by a female having rights. You didnt address how a court marriage would play out if BOTH husband and wife were similar contributors to the marriage. You keep mentioning husbands estate? Is it only a husband that can contribute to an estate? What if the wife equally contributed or had some part in it. This is no longer the 1950s, women work. I don't know why you are limiting your outlook to Nigeria alone. The question has to do with court marriage. Nigerians are spread all over the world.

Your view on law is flawed to say the least. I don't claim to be a lawyer. But if a husband and wife committed a crime both of them can and will be arrested. Marriage doesn't take away culpability in a crime. If a wife or husband is an accessory to a crime then they are guilty. It has nothing to do with marriage. You are confusing getting arrested and spouses acting as witnesses in criminal trials. In the United states a spouse does not in most cases have to testify against thier spouse and in mist cases they are not seen as appropriate witnesses because they have such a strong personal relationship. But a judge can overrule that. And it goes for BOTH male and female. Not just females alone. You are very one sided in your perspective.

I don't know about any law that states what percentage of a married couples estate each is entitled to should the marriage dissolve. Unless Nigerian law is backwards these terms are agreed upon once divorce negotiations start. AFTER the marriage.

The purpose of a court marriage is to protect the individuals in the marriage. Not just the wife. But the husband as well.

I'm not 100% familiar with marital law. But if the laws states (and I doubt it) that a woman is immune to criminal acts of her husband. Then it should be vise versa that the husband is immune to the criminal acts of the wife. You are so one sided with everything it's painful.

All of your arguments are applicable to both male and female. I don't know if you just hate women. But if you don't trust why you are marrying, get a pre-nup or don't marry that person.

Bro, to be honest, I stopped reading at the first paragraph!!!

Why, it reeks of deceit, ignorance and emotional diarrhoea!!!

Firstly you claim I insulted you. You want to furnish me with a quote?

Secondly, you claim I'm being emotional. You cannot redefine that term on the pages on NL.


Lastly and conclusively, you do not know or understand the term statutory/court marriage to begin with!!!

You linked it to a church wedding!!! Phew!!!

If you're an honest man, that should have consistuted the opening remarks of your long narrative!!! But, alas, you went off mark hitting at my deportment and mannerisms!!!

So there's no point debating with you over a concept you cannot even begin to define or understand!

It's a waste of time.

Your epistle shows that you are pained. If you didn't read what I wrote then what is all the need for your typed words. When I stated that a court marriage is part of the church wedding I know what I'm saying. Ther ceremony is in church but the legal documentation is signed as part of the ceremony. Your perspective is limited and focused on nigeria alone. Many people can become ordained ministers that grants them the power to Wed others. A "court marriage" is just legal documentation that is recognized and officiated with witnesses. It is paperwoek. You don't have to have a judge do it. It's paperwork at the end of the day. You don't have to actually enter a court.

I am not a man. Utilize you reading comprehension and visualize my profile identifies me as a female.

You just like to argue. You are very immature. You are unable to discuss with someone openly and try to see thier perspective. You believe that your opinions are the only valid ones out there. It's disgusting. I don't know how you get along with others in reality. You need to accept that others think different than you and that doesn't make them the enemy.

Lezzlie:
Bro, to be honest, I stopped reading at the first paragraph!!!

Why, it reeks of deceit, ignorance and emotional diarrhoea!!!

Firstly you claim I insulted you. You want to furnish me with a quote?

Secondly, you claim I'm being emotional. You cannot redefine that term on the pages on NL.


Lastly and conclusively, you do not know or understand the term statutory/court marriage to begin with!!!

You linked it to a church wedding!!! Phew!!!

If you're an honest man, that should have consistuted the opening remarks of your long narrative!!! But, alas, you went off mark hitting at my deportment and mannerisms!!!

So there's no point debating with you over a concept you cannot even begin to define or understand!

It's a waste of time.

Memejem:
Your epistle shows that you are pained. If you didn't read what I wrote then what is all the need for your typed words. When I stated that a court marriage is part of the church wedding I know what I'm saying. Ther ceremony is in church but the legal documentation is signed as part of the ceremony. Your perspective is limited and focused on nigeria alone. Many people can become ordained ministers that grants them the power to Wed others. A "court marriage" is just legal documentation that is recognized and officiated with witnesses. It is paperwoek. You don't have to have a judge do it. It's paperwork at the end of the day. You don't have to actually enter a court.

I am not a man. Utilize you reading comprehension and visualize my profile identifies me as a female.

You just like to argue. You are very immature. You are unable to discuss with someone openly and try to see thier perspective. You believe that your opinions are the only valid ones out there. It's disgusting. I don't know how you get along with others in reality. You need to accept that others think different than you and that doesn't make them the enemy.

@ bolded, the ceremony isn't in the church!!!

You keep arguing for banter's sake!!! Stop it.

In the West , all marriages have full legal interpretation and enforcement,. It is not so in Africa. There's a difference.

You wake me up to this thread after nearly a week without coming up with any facts but rude accusations.

Stop this. And do put a letter indicator in yoyr moniker, Akike so that we can decipher your sex. You're coming of as a man!

People want the officialism of a legal "court" marriage, but the ceremonial and celebratory aspect of "church" wedding. they mix the two together in the same venue. A court marriage is just paperwork for god's sake. officiated by either a judge, justice of the peace, municipal clerk. Who told you that these people can only work in the municipal office or court? or that an ordinary citizen can not become ordained to certify weddings?

I live in Canada, I've seen these things happen, so you can't tell me that it doesn't happen. I was there and was a part of it. The original post was not limited to Nigeria alone. It was an open question.

If you feel that a court marriage is an absolute no no for you then OK. I respect your decision. But for me, i want my marriage to be legal, protected to the full extent of the justice system in ANY country and recognized in ANY country. If you believe differently then that is your opinion.

I don't think you are an awful person because of it. But the reasons behind your decision don't resonate with me. obviously my future husband will not share the same viewpoint as you because we would not be compatible.

The fact that you think you can decipher someones gender by reading text is ridiculous. an opinion is an opinion and can come from any individual regardless of their sex.

Lezzlie:
@ bolded, the ceremony isn't in the church!!!

You keep arguing for banter's sake!!! Stop it.

In the West , all marriages have full legal interpretation and enforcement,. It is not so in Africa. There's a difference.

You wake me up to this thread after nearly a week without coming up with any facts but rude accusations.

Stop this. And do put a letter indicator in yoyr moniker, Akike so that we can decipher your sex. You're coming of as a man!