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I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? - Religion - Nairaland

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I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by Blaqsmith(m): 11:04am On Jul 07, 2016
I am bringing up this issue here because I don't trust the environment I live and the people I co-habit with. They would open up the bible for me than tell me some truth I need to hear or advise me to go for brain evaluation. I am well ok.

I've been an atheist for some years now, but due to beliefs of people around, I make it a closed affair. Though I raised questions which theists always fail to convincingly answer, I still agree with them that there is god.

I live in this denial of who I am just to satisfy my loved ones and make them happy. They see atheist as a mad man.

All these years, this is what I battle inside of me, but what choice do I have than just to play along? I don't wanna lose loved ones 'cause of my belief.

I muster some courage and decided to reveal my real self to my girlfriend who is also religious. She's told me her love for me is unconditional and I tried to believe her.

She went berserk when I told her am an atheist... She wouldn't just believe it. Since then, she's been looking at me like I'm under some spell.

I'm losing her and I don't ever wanna lose her. If for anything, not because I don't believe there is God who looks by while toddlers die.

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Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by dpete1: 11:11am On Jul 07, 2016
Its very easy, just change from being an atheist to a real religious believer




not easy though











another FTC, yet no bank increment again?oya som1 shuld give me seun's personal number.
grin
lols

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by VampireeM(f): 11:11am On Jul 07, 2016
hmmm, this one is a tough one cause me cant marry an atheist. I'm even wondering how she could ve been blind to knowing you an atheist. You should ve told her truth earlier in the rship..
I think you should try and make her understand and if she doesnt you can call it quits... its always good to be with someone who you share same belief with or can accept it

Ps There is God.

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Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by Blaqsmith(m): 11:17am On Jul 07, 2016
VampireeM:
hmmm, this one is a tough one cause me cant marry an atheist. I'm even wondering how she could ve been blind to knowing you an atheist. You should ve told her truth earlier in the rship..
I think you should try and make her understand and if she doesnt you can call it quits... its always good to be with someone who you share same belief with or can accept it

Ps There is God.
Thanks. But I just wanted to be free. I've been a prisoner of my own conscience deceiving her all along. She deserves to know the truth.

But why can't you date an atheist?
Why do you think dating theist is a better choice?
Where is your God when I lost my brother after fervent prayers?
What is your God doing to help the homeless and hungry children on the streets?

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Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by DesChyko: 11:25am On Jul 07, 2016
You must sacrifice one for the other. Scale of Preference vs Opportunity Cost. You can't have your cake and eat it too

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Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by VampireeM(f): 11:58am On Jul 07, 2016
Blaqsmith:

Thanks. But I just wanted to be free. I've been a prisoner of my own conscience deceiving her all along. She deserves to know the truth.


I dont judge atheists cause I believe he/she must ve a reason for being one.

But why can't you date an atheist?
Why do you think dating theist is a better choice?
I cant marry an atheist cause I believe in God and its important to me I marry someone who doesnt just believe in the existence of God but also God fearing because thats the foundation I want my family to be built on and also we get to encourage each other in our faith esp during travails.

Where is your God when I lost my brother after fervent prayers?
I'm sorry about the loss of your brother and I know you feel cause I too ve felt and asked same questions BUT I remembered so many other things ve asked God for that he did even the ones I didnt ask and I knew that God is Mystery, faithful and his ways are not the ways of man. Maybe it was your brother's appointed time and according to christian doctrine each man has it own appointed time and would surely die.. Sometimes we dont need to ask questions, we just need to ve FAITH.

What is your God doing to help the homeless and hungry children on the streets?
Even when Jesus was on earth there we still hungry and homeless people. To We God has given, we are expected to give and help those who are less privledged just like the Story of Lazarus and the Rich man from the bible. Its God's own way to create a balance amongst his creation IMO.

Christianity is surrounded by mysteries which the human mind cannot comprehend. I laugh when people become atheist just to get their questions answered funny enough they get confused the more.

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Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by Nenejeje(f): 12:18pm On Jul 07, 2016
VampireeM:



I dont judge atheists cause I believe he/she must ve a reason for being one.


I cant marry an atheist cause I believe in God and its important to me I marry someone who doesnt just believe in the existence of God but also God fearing because thats the foundation I want my family to be built on and also we get to encourage each other in our faith esp during travails.


I'm sorry about the loss of your brother and I know you feel cause I too ve felt and asked same questions BUT I remembered so many other things ve asked God for that he did even the ones I didnt ask and I knew that God is Mystery, faithful and his ways are not the ways of man. Maybe it was your brother's appointed time and according to christian doctrine each man has it own appointed time and would surely die.. Sometimes we dont need to ask questions, we just need to ve FAITH.


Even when Jesus was on earth there we still hungry and homeless people. To We God has given, we are expected to give and help those who are less privledged just like the Story of Lazarus and the Rich man from the bible. Its God's own way to create a balance amongst his creation IMO.

Christianity is surrounded by mysteries which the human mind cannot comprehend. I laugh when people become atheist just to get their questions answered funny enough they get confused the more.



God bless you for this reply

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Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by Nobody: 12:48pm On Jul 07, 2016
Blaqsmith:

Thanks. But I just wanted to be free. I've been a prisoner of my own conscience deceiving her all along. She deserves to know the truth.

But why can't you date an atheist?
Why do you think dating theist is a better choice?
Where is your God when I lost my brother after fervent prayers?
nn
What is your God doing to help the homeless and hungry children on the streets?
the same place He was when His only son was being nailed to a cross, my friend, life don't turn out way we want it, for the fact that u loosed a loved one even after prayers doesn't mean God is not in existence, for the fact that "innocent" kids die daily in Syria and Africa doesn't mean God is not alive. Things are allowed to happen due to many facts;
1. God has given us free will to think and do as we please other wise we become like zombies.
2. The action of man brings about consequences which God in his greatness allows such men to bare them, after all men already have the knowledge of good and evil, so we know the kind of result our carelessness could cause but we go ahead anyway, then blame God for the outcome. e.g here in Africa, leaders know that investing in power and industrialize agriculture helps an economy, they go however for an easy pick- stealing public funds, allowing the children die of hunger, when God has blessed ur land with rainfall, resources, human labour, youths carry arms even when they know its wrong, they form militia against instituted authorities, stalling development and creating massive hunger and economic meltdown. So bro don't blame God for how the world is today, and dont say there is no God cos He allowed you to free will.
3. God is loving and if u come to him, you will find peace, but it doesn't mean u won't loose a love one or face difficulties, but u will understand how to go through such.
4. world is made up matter, matter are made up of atoms, atoms are made up of electrons+protons+neutrons, wat are the electrons or protons made of? who made them? how did they come into existence? was it by chance? why is it that atoms of one type of elements are exactly same with another same element even in a different part of the world but different from that of a different element next to it? then electron is negative due to its spin why is the proton positive? you think its all by chance? or a supreme being made them all?
5. Better believe in a God and even when u die and discover non, then you won't have missed any thing, than not to believe only to die and see that there is actually one.
6. are u a moral individual? I know its yes, you don't like little kids dying, u obviously don't like abortion, u have things u consider immorai. But wait, one wat standard did u judge ur morality, since there is no God is there any need to be moral, we can live a life of lawlessness and be like Hitler, yes Hitler was an atheist so he murdered a whole tribe of Jews cos he believes no God hence no judgment after death. we can all be like him, rape any girl u see pretty, kill any man who pose a threat to your fame or wealth, don't mind the laws of the land as if u obey man and keeps his laws, you will be inferior to humans, some say we are gods ourselves and need no God, why then should u obey a human god and put ur seat belts on while u drive? why will u consider abortion wrong, wat did u use to draw ur judgments? tradition or culture? cos that varies from one person to another so wat is moral to u might be immoral to me.
7. Lastly pls do make time and search for the truth, there is only one purpose in life, to fulfill the will of the one that brought you to this world, not your parents as they and the ones before them were all brought just like you were, but the maker of heaven and earth, and all that are in it.

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Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by jayriginal: 1:01pm On Jul 07, 2016
To the ladies above, "God-fearing" is a quality that is supposed to mean reverence to God and his rules but today has lost that meaning. If I told you there are many atheists who are more "God-fearing" than Christians you would probably argue.

I still tell people that a lot of Christians don't believe in God anyway. They just mouth platitudes fervently to convince themselves that the phantom is real. That seems to be the only way to go about. The immorality committed by Christians suggests that they do not actually believe (something they will hardly admit).

OP, you've stated your position and your conscience should be clear. I personally never hide my stance, neither do I volunteer. Once a partner asks, I'm obliged to state my position. If she is uncomfortable with it, so be it.

35 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by Blaqsmith(m): 1:34pm On Jul 07, 2016
Yaksson:

the same place He was when His only son was being nailed to a cross, my friend, life don't turn out way we want it, for the fact that u loosed a loved one even after prayers doesn't mean God is not in existence, for the fact that "innocent" kids die daily in Syria and Africa doesn't mean God is not alive. Things are allowed to happen due to many facts;
1. God has given us free will to think and do as we please other wise we become like zombies.
2. The action of man brings about consequences which God in his greatness allows such men to bare them, after all men already have the knowledge of good and evil, so we know the kind of result our carelessness could cause but we go ahead anyway, then blame God for the outcome. e.g here in Africa, leaders know that investing in power and industrialize agriculture helps an economy, they go however for an easy pick- stealing public funds, allowing the children die of hunger, when God has blessed ur land with rainfall, resources, human labour, youths carry arms even when they know its wrong, they form militia against instituted authorities, stalling development and creating massive hunger and economic meltdown. So bro don't blame God for how the world is today, and dont say there is no God cos He allowed you to free will.
3. God is loving and if u come to him, you will find peace, but it doesn't mean u won't loose a love one or face difficulties, but u will understand how to go through such.
4. world is made up matter, matter are made up of atoms, atoms are made up of electrons+protons+neutrons, wat are the electrons or protons made of? who made them? how did they come into existence? was it by chance? why is it that atoms of one type of elements are exactly same with another same element even in a different part of the world but different from that of a different element next to it? then electron is negative due to its spin why is the proton positive? you think its all by chance? or a supreme being made them all?
5. Better believe in a God and even when u die and discover non, then you won't have missed any thing, than not to believe only to die and see that there is actually one.
6. are u a moral individual? I know its yes, you don't like little kids dying, u obviously don't like abortion, u have things u consider immorai. But wait, one wat standard did u judge ur morality, since there is no God is there any need to be moral, we can live a life of lawlessness and be like Hitler, yes Hitler was an atheist so he murdered a whole tribe of Jews cos he believes no God hence no judgment after death. we can all be like him, rape any girl u see pretty, kill any man who pose a threat to your fame or wealth, don't mind the laws of the land as if u obey man and keeps his laws, you will be inferior to humans, some say we are gods ourselves and need no God, why then should u obey a human god and put ur seat belts on while u drive? why will u consider abortion wrong, wat did u use to draw ur judgments? tradition or culture? cos that varies from one person to another so wat is moral to u might be immoral to me.
7. Lastly pls do make time and search for the truth, there is only one purpose in life, to fulfill the will of the one that brought you to this world, not your parents as they and the ones before them were all brought just like you were, but the maker of heaven and earth, and all that are in it.
ok

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by HardMirror(m): 3:14pm On Jul 07, 2016
Blaqsmith:
ok
I have been in your shoes.
You have 3 choices, get an atheist to marry , get someone who does not care about your religion (met many ladies like that willing to marry an atheist even tho they are christians) or pretend to be a christian, get married and withdraw from religious activities gradually after.
Believe me, if you are a good husband she won't let you go.
I have about 2 ex girlfriends that know I am an atheist they are scared of getting married to me because atheism seems so strange to them, but yet they don't want to let go.

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Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by davien(m): 3:22pm On Jul 07, 2016
Blaqsmith, she values religion over the relationship so why go on with it?.. it's either she loves you for who you are or it's over.

It might seem like she's the only girl for you but trust me, there are others who'll accept and even be thankful that you hold such a stance..

You can still try to show her why you're an atheist... I'd suggest you pick up all the articles, videos and any information that is relevant to atheism and just educate her...if she wants to even consider understanding it that is.

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Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by Blaqsmith(m): 3:45pm On Jul 07, 2016
davien:
Blaqsmith, she values religion over the relationship so why go on with it?.. it's either she loves you for who you are or it's over.

It might seem like she's the only girl for you but trust me, there are others who'll accept and even be thankful that you hold such a stance..

You can still try to show her why you're an atheist... I'd suggest you pick up all the articles, videos and any information that is relevant to atheism and just educate her...if she wants to even consider understanding it that is.
Thanks bro. I just don't want it to b over between us. She's such a good girl with a good heart. Atheism just seem like evil to her. I told her to look at me and reconsider her stance. Atheists aren't all bad people just as Religious people aren't all good people.
I tried d option of deceiving her just to make her happy Buh my conscience won't let me rest

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by Blaqsmith(m): 3:48pm On Jul 07, 2016
HardMirror:

I have been in your shoes.
You have 3 choices, get an atheist to marry , get someone who does not care about your religion (met many ladies like that willing to marry an atheist even tho they are christians) or pretend to be a christian, get married and withdraw from religious activities gradually after.
Believe me, if you are a good husband she won't let you go.
I have about 2 ex girlfriends that know I am an atheist they are scared of getting married to me because atheism seems so strange to them, but yet they don't want to let go.
Not all atheist ladies are good. She might be religious, Buh she is very kind-hearted. I just think she's playing her dogmas here. When his pastors say atheists are devils and wicked people and he believed them? How would she look at me?
thanks for ur advice anyway.

2 Likes

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by johnstar(m): 3:58pm On Jul 07, 2016
Leave d gal jare, gals yapa for dis earth na
undecided





Mod move dis thread to front page #atheist #nogod.

Who cares ?? Nobody fvcking cares

7 Likes

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by HardMirror(m): 3:59pm On Jul 07, 2016
Blaqsmith:

Not all atheist ladies are good. She might be religious, Buh she is very kind-hearted. I just think she's playing her dogmas here. When his pastors say atheists are devils and wicked people and he believed them? How would she look at me?
thanks for ur advice anyway.
Do you know how many men are atheists and married to religious women?
Many of them won't directly tell their wives they don't believe in God. They would just jokingly say "I am not going to any church jare" or make up excuses just so the wife does not get spooked.

I you really love her, just come up with excuses. Believe me, many ladies who say they can't marry an atheist will gladly marry us if we are well to do and caring enough. Don't just ever discuss religion with her. I still keep my Girl friends busy asking them to pray for me grin makes them feel there is hope of me changing. Lol. Ball is in your court o

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Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by general111(m): 4:04pm On Jul 07, 2016
Blaqsmith:

Thanks. But I just wanted to be free. I've been a prisoner of my own conscience deceiving her all along. She deserves to know the truth.

But why can't you date an atheist?
Why do you think dating theist is a better choice?
Where is your God when I lost my brother after fervent prayers?
What is your God doing to help the homeless and hungry children on the streets?
you chosed to be an atheist because you lost your brother after much prayers abi?

4 Likes

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by HardMirror(m): 4:06pm On Jul 07, 2016
johnstar:
Leave d gal jare, gals yapa for dis earth na
Lol.
I don't think he should be worried. Only reason why I love atheist ladies is the freedom I will have to laugh at the stupidity of christians and other religions. And they are also highly intelligent and difficult to fool.

All these religious girls are very easy to fool, just spiritualize the issue and tap into their emotions grin
She has not found a job? Spiritualize it. She is ill? Spiritualize it, everything is God, devil and enemies.
The stupidity can get annoying.

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Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by Blaqsmith(m): 4:53pm On Jul 07, 2016
general111:
you chosed to be an atheist because you lost your brother after much prayers abi?
Part of it. But most importantly that there isn't evidence for his existence. Even if he exists, I still maintain he won't have my worship.

11 Likes

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by general111(m): 5:01pm On Jul 07, 2016
Blaqsmith:

Part of it. But most importantly that there isn't evidence for his existence. Even if he exists, I still maintain he won't have my worship.
if you won't worship him,many others will.and he may not even notice that you are not worshiping him..goodluck to you..

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Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by Blaqsmith(m): 5:25pm On Jul 07, 2016
general111:
if you won't worship him,many others will.and he may not even notice that you are not worshiping him..goodluck to you..
I'd be here when you open a thread doubting ur faith and religion. The earlier u understand religion can't live this age the better u will be.
Good luck too

10 Likes

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by theoneJabulani(m): 5:36pm On Jul 07, 2016
Interesting
Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by Owliver(m): 5:47pm On Jul 07, 2016
Bros i too dont believe in organized religion but you need to hide it and deceive people. i dont discuss it with those close to me. just pretend

1 Like

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by UyiIredia(m): 6:01pm On Jul 07, 2016
HardMirror:

Do you know how many men are atheists and married to religious women?
Many of them won't directly tell their wives they don't believe in God. They would just jokingly say "I am not going to any church jare" or make up excuses just so the wife does not get spooked.

I you really love her, just come up with excuses. Believe me, many ladies who say they can't marry an atheist will gladly marry us if we are well to do and caring enough. Don't just ever discuss religion with her. I still keep my Girl friends busy asking them to pray for me grin makes them feel there is hope of me changing. Lol. Ball is in your court o

With those prayers you are asking for, who knows, you might just get that change of heart one of these days.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by UyiIredia(m): 6:08pm On Jul 07, 2016
Blaqsmith:
I am bringing up this issue here because I don't trust the environment I live and the people I co-habit with. They would open up the bible for me than tell me some truth I need to hear or advise me to go for brain evaluation. I am well ok.

I've been an atheist for some years now, but due to beliefs of people around, I make it a closed affair. Though I raised questions which theists always fail to convincingly answer, I still agree with them that there is god.

I live in this denial of who I am just to satisfy my loved ones and make them happy. They see atheist as a mad man.

All these years, this is what I battle inside of me, but what choice do I have than just to play along? I don't wanna lose loved ones 'cause of my belief.

I muster some courage and decided to reveal my real self to my girlfriend who is also religious. She's told me her love for me is unconditional and I tried to believe her.

She went berserk when I told her am an atheist... She wouldn't just believe it. Since then, she's been looking at me like I'm under some spell.

I'm losing her and I don't ever wanna lose her. If for anything, not because I don't believe there is God who looks by while toddlers die.


Well it looks like you're going to lose her because you're an atheist. I was going to argue with you about God's existence but it's going to be a waste of time. We'll just end up talking in circles. So all I can say is try your luck with another girl and I hope you find one that can tolerate your atheism. But that would be hard to find in this Naija.

7 Likes

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by Blaqsmith(m): 6:13pm On Jul 07, 2016
UyiIredia:


Well it looks like you're going to lose her because you're an atheist. I was going to argue with you about God's existence but it's going to be a waste of time. We'll just end up talking in circles. So all I can say is try your luck with another girl and I hope you find one that can tolerate your atheism. But that would be hard to find in this Naija.
It's like u don't get me bro. I don't need any god. Show me the god and I'd still damn him and his f*cking hell. I just wanna be free.

I don't debate about one who calls himself almighty and can't even say "Hi"

8 Likes

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by laurel03(m): 6:30pm On Jul 07, 2016
Muslim marry muslim
Xtain marry Xtain
Ifa marry Ifa
Amorc my Amorc
Buddhist marry Buddhist etc....
Abeg go Marry Atheist like you.....
In Africa na mad person always say God no exist..
Na God dey run my own package

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Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by Nobody: 6:31pm On Jul 07, 2016
It is unfortunate that someone's future (or its lack off) is placed at the whims of ideology. Sort of like threatening to withdraw cookie allowance from your kid on Xmas for simply saying Santa isn't real.

She doesn't really know what she is doing bro. I feel your pain. But at the long run, she'll eiither get to get allong with you or you'll find someone who will.

3 Likes

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by teejaypee: 6:31pm On Jul 07, 2016
maybe she's right!
Maybe you're under some spell
grin

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Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by disloman(m): 6:31pm On Jul 07, 2016
Hmmm
Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by sbabimbola(f): 6:32pm On Jul 07, 2016
You need speak with her.... or better still find a girl with same belief, but you won't see one in a while.


PRAY TO GOD FOR A PERSONAL ENCOUNTER WITH HIM, God is real dear Bros!

8 Likes

Re: I'm Losing My Girlfriend Because Of My Disbelief... Am I Wrong? by Rilwon: 6:32pm On Jul 07, 2016
Your own brand of atheist don't believe in Gods existence because your brother died of sickness even after you prayed fervently to God to cure him, innit?

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