Op, them borrow you money before? If yes pay them if not, take charge of your house in some of the funny manners suggested here.

Just relocate. Go so where far. If she pays like 1k to 2k just to visit, no one would tell her to run

Its only a jobless MIL will leave her business/ work and stay in her daughters home or two week. She's not ashamed of her self. Since your wife is doing nufin abt it , send her home to be with the so called mum. Haba, I won't take that from my mum even though she came and stayed only 3weeks after my delivery saying she needs to go back to her business.

As a married woman myself, the problem is your wife. Knowing fully well how her husband feels about such visits, she should have made it a point of duty to see that such stops. She should relay it to her mother like it's her who has a problem with the visits not u. You both are joined as one so anything that bothers u should bother her as well. So if you're wife hasn't come out firmly to her mother to put a stop to it then my brother your wife values her more than u. Sorry to say this but any drastic action you take should be against your wife not your mil

damola1:
Why you keep talking?

Just leave the house. It'll be hard at first, but it's the only option after you have exhausted all talking options. Just leave.

this, OP.. This is very bad advice.


Always face your problems head-on, running away will definitely not solve anything this is your marriage we're talking about here. If you keep leaving at the slightest discomfort then prepare to have even BIGGER problems on your hands.
STAY and sort it out.

.

Simply bleep ur wife in front of MIL. If she get shame she no go come anyhow again!

Dude your in man. Whatever you choose to do might be misconstrue, so just act the fool, everything has expiring date. 20 Children can't stay playing for 20 years...goodluck.

ikupakuti:
@prettiepearlz

I know immediately there is a husband‘s version of such compliant i‘ll get a mention from you

Well, Its not complete yet

When you get a husband complaining about his FIL‘s too frequent visits ....give me a mention....lols

at the bold. I had to because you guys are quick to blame ladies who complain about things like this, forgetting that they are also human and they have blood running through their veins. But what do you have to say about this?
And lastly we all know that FIL hardly meddle in their children's life. That's why we don't have threads about them. . Hope you're having a good day?

dynamite11:
She is a single mother and she lives in her own house while my father inlaw warned me not too get too close to her after I complained to him about her involvement in my home, he told me to go on a vacation with my wife and son but when my wife told her we are planning going on a vacation to Dubai, she called me to tell me how she has always wanted to visit Dubai and she must be included in the trip, I loved the suggestion of Twaci but I can't tell my mom what I'm going through, she is married and lives with her own husband she can't just leave her home, my dad will never support that.

Being a single mother can be though....I hail women who maintain single mother hood and still come out sane.....if any tho, talk to your wife..again...add a littleharmless threat maybe that will frighten her and her mum maybe that will make her stop coming or better still grab the bull by the horn shikena.

@Emmatdayo
Water ni.

.

Emioga:
God bless you

And bless you too, my darling

it is simple...............just go and invite like 5 of your own family members.................be it blood or extended............. just watch your wife and mum reactions.................i am sure she would be the first to complain.........then remind her thats how you fel too when her mum comes visiting.............i hope your wife is ibo....its a common thing there

Prettiepearlz:
@Emmatdayo
Water ni.

ma?

enigma2007:


He moved twice already.. Make una pity am na

Na wa I. This one na gbege.

Dynamite her...lol.

From your write-up it seems you havent really sat your wife down and made her realise how serious the matter is to you. Do just that. And allow her to be the one to tell your MIL so you wouldnt appear rude. Tell her to sound as serious as possible.
If that, however doesnt do it then my man you have to speak up. Introvert or not. Being introverted doesnt necessarily mean you cannot boldly express your feelings. Just do it, and while at it make your point as clear as possible so she cannot say she misinterpreted,don't so sound harsh or rude but dont sound too soft either, just firm.
I dont think she will continue with this behaviour after hearing from the horse's mouth. Goodluck.

Emmatdayo:
ma?

You read right. I dey my own jeje, you come look for trouble.

[quote author=robosky02 post=48386754]
for me I think there are three option to choose from

1. Dialogue - invite your wife to seat down and discuss your feeling with her. on how to reduce the excesses


2. "Waiter-logue" - wait to see any positive change that will happen after discussing with your wife


3. three -logue - get another person your wife respects so much to seat down as a third party to listen to each others point. why her mothers frequent visit should be curtailed. if there is no change


4. relocate very far from where the mother in-law cant be coming too frequently
You said it ,dear. Relocate to a very far place or better still, move to another state

...Males posters here advising the op to 'flush' out his mother-in-law sure needs to have their head examined .

..You mean you all cannot stand your wives mother yet you expect a women to stand your own mother??,..because i bet if reverse is the case you all will be up in arms talking nonsense and spitting all over this thread...'mum died for me','if it was your mum nko?','women are their worst enemy',wicked woman' e.t.c


..I REPEAT..UNA HEAD NO CORRECT!!!...yeye hypocrites.


..@op tolerate your mother-in-law,treat her like your own mum..no more no less.

It will be a case because she is ur mum in law. If she is ur mum now, u will term ur wife a wicked woman for not accommodating her mteeewwww

Prettiepearlz:

You read right. I dey my own jeje, you come look for trouble.

when and how?

dynamite11:


I knew she was a single mother before marrying her daughter and she didn't raise her daughter all by herself, I dated her daughter for 7 years before marrying her and I know she was raised by both parent, you are right my wife is a mummy's girl and there is nothing like having our own space with my MIL coz according to her the house is big enough, I can't even watch matches on weekend when I'm supposed to be resting and talking to my wife and son, I'm always in the room watching movies on YouTube because she always have the remote and it has to be on African magic while she discussed other family issues with my wife, I'm fed up

Then you start by being incharge of the remote! Make sure you always put in a channel that won't interest her. Increase volume very well. Mehn! You need to learn how to be hostile. Make her realize you need privacy with your actions if you can't tell her with your mouth.

OP. I think you have done everything reasonably and diplomatically well. (Assuming all you said is the truth because this is one-sided)

You don try.

Now call your wife and make her realise that she is about to become a single parent like her mother. And that you value your life very well and will do anything in your power to find another wife that will give you the happiness you deserve.

Then start staying more away from the home, ESPECIALLY when your MIL is not around. Why? So that your wife will truly feel and know the meaning of loneliness. Stop telling your wife about your daily activities. Keep her on an emotional island and deprive her the type of attention all women need from a man......the type that no woman can provide for her.

Caution: Do not take it to the extreme. Easy does it. Remember, you STILL love your wife and do not want to handle the situation in a way that will make it difficult to continue loving her when she eventually come back to her senses.

Shalom.

dynamite11:

I can't say my mind because I'm frustrated I will end up saying things I will regret to my wife and mother inlaw

You better open your mouth and say things that will make hell loose.

Or do you want me to come over and help you out?

I'm in Lagos.

Action they say speak louder than words,,when next she visit just try n put up a rude behavior to both mother and child,,ignore them avoid talking to them ,,sitting with them ,even while eating don't eat together at the dinning table,,make sure both of them notice the opposite of you,,even at night when it's time to sleep make sure u distance yourself to the other edge of the bed,,I know your wife will sure ask what's the problem ,,your response should be " I am fine " if she still insist ,,quietly walk away,, if u r a type that doesn't go out and hang out with friends or stay out late,,dis is the right time to go out,,even your MIL when is gone ,,still put up that rude behavior for some days,,DO DAT WHEN EVER U SEE HER COME BACK,,YOUR WIFE WILL HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN HAVING HER MUM VISIT EVERY NOW AND THEN OR LIVE HAPPILY WITH HER HUSBAND,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,

soberdrunk:
My brother you have three options::::::

1) You can man up and tell your wife and her mother that you are not comfortable with the way things are and that you need your privacy.(this option is not easy because you will have to face the 'wrath' of your wife or her mother or 'both')

2) You can get a male elder in your wife's family that is 'understanding' to talk to your mother-in-law to respect you and your wife's privacy(this too is risky because it can backfire if ypur mother-in-law takes it the wrong way)

3) 'OPERATION FLUSH HER OUT"--- make your home very 'uncomfortable' for her! Old women are superstitious so you can take advantage of that, you can start by dropping strange objects in the room she sleeps whenever she visits, you can arrange for strange noises to be made close to her window in the middle of the night, if your wife travels you can even go hardcore Nollywood on her, like pretend you are carrying out strange rituals in the middle of the night or just wear all white and be dancing azonto at odd hours and make sure she sees you

GOODLUCK MAN! DONT FORGET TO COME BACK AND THANK ME WITH COLD BOTTLES OF GULDER

bros this your third option na him sure pass ..hahahahahahahaha.. just look for one of those wicked nollywood movie sound track n play every night outside her room..lol

dynamite11:


I have discussed with my wife, I have told her I'm not comfortable with her mom been around and to burst your bubble she is the one person my wife respects the most and anything she says is final, I have been having this problem for months I rented out my former place on the mainland and bought a house in Lekki it's pretty far from where she stays because she have to drive for about 3 hours before getting here, I have relocated twice this year. I can't buy anymore house this year I have to invest the little I have left

Brother I'm feeling really bad for you, Why on earth won't you enjoy your Matrimony all in the name of MIl, from what you've said so far that woman is a shameless woman, that is trying to exploit you because of your introvert nnature, imagine her telling you she wants to go to Dubai with you. Don't let externalities control your life and feel free to speak your mind and be ready for the troubles that will follow because its something your wife also knows about. Man up, take bold steps because desperate time calls for desperate actions and enjoy the rest of your life and money

Twaci:
Simple.....

Invite your mom over

Will this not caused world war 3 in the long run..
Like your mum vs your mother in law type of shit..

[color=#990000][/color]
Simple Logic;
Acceptance, that you are already married to two women!
Management capability; take responsibily in managing both women.
Privacy; Try to acquire a bigger apartment with enough rooms, you will find your privacy in one of the rooms a bit far from the other rooms, like a penthouse!
Hard work; work hard to acquire the resources to be able to keep managing both.
The tougher the battle, the sweeter the pleasure.

NEVER NEVER; Never you use wrong words on her or chase her away, then you are chasing the hand of God away and pleasure and the harder working idea will be far from reach.

TIME: heals

Love your wife and her mom and your kid and everyone incl. myself, you will be able to find joy in your house.

If you have an only child, I see you doing the same bro.


She is her mothers only child[/

soberdrunk:
My brother you have three options::::::

1) You can man up and tell your wife and her mother that you are not comfortable with the way things are and that you need your privacy.(this option is not easy because you will have to face the 'wrath' of your wife or her mother or 'both')

2) You can get a male elder in your wife's family that is 'understanding' to talk to your mother-in-law to respect you and your wife's privacy(this too is risky because it can backfire if ypur mother-in-law takes it the wrong way)

3) 'OPERATION FLUSH HER OUT"--- make your home very 'uncomfortable' for her! Old women are superstitious so you can take advantage of that, you can start by dropping strange objects in the room she sleeps whenever she visits, you can arrange for strange noises to be made close to her window in the middle of the night, if your wife travels you can even go hardcore Nollywood on her, like pretend you are carrying out strange rituals in the middle of the night or just wear all white and be dancing azonto at odd hours and make sure she sees you
GOODLUCK MAN! DONT FORGET TO COME BACK AND THANK ME WITH COLD BOTTLES OF GULDER