enigma2007:


I stay like 5 mins away from mine but i don't have time or the patience for people to butt into my affair!

Different strokes for different folks. Since he dies not want to confront his MIL (which he shouldn't do), he should either move to another part of the town where before anybody comes, they would first call, or move out of the house totally and leave the house for his wife and MIL. If he does not checkmate it now, they would be running his marriage and family for him. Better he starts now especially when there are no kids

Bros, the truth is that your wife is your enemy, not her mother. Its has happen to me also, but what I did is that I started behaving strange to my wife, to the level of her mother start observing change in my altitude toward my wife. Eg. Coming home late, stop eating in the house, start washing my cloth, spend more time on social media.etc. B/4 one week my wife told me that her mother we soon be going back to her home. That solve my problem since then.

dynamite11:
My problem started shortly after our wedding this year, and ever since its like I'm in a versus kind of relationship( I versus my wife and her family). She is so controlling, she knows all of our business my wife makes sure she keeps her up to date on every little details that goes on in our lives and she is never out of our lives not even for a week and I think my wife is ok with it because her mother can never be wrong.

She worships her either she is right or wrong, she is always visiting every weekend and sometimes stays with us for a week or two only to come back the following weekend saying she misses us, when I got married to my wife I didn't ask for a bonus, I don't know why we can't be left alone, and the worse part of it is that she comes with other family members and we always have a full house, I'm an introvert and I love my privacy but with my mother in-law I will never have that. I have become sad over the past few months and it's affecting my home because I can't even talk to my wife anymore because she is her mother's ear piece, I'm losing my sanity, she is coming over this weekend and I think I just need to go on a vacation alone this summer to clear my head. Have you ever had this kind of problem before? I need help please.

First tell your wife that you want both of you to be visiting her mum often just the way her mum has been visiting and watch her reaction before take another step.

Have very noisy sex with her daughter. Let her walk in and find you both making out in the kitchen, on the cooker, inside the microwave..everywhere. She will leave on the next flight or night bus.

soberdrunk:
My brother you have three options::::::

1) You can man up and tell your wife and her mother that you are not comfortable with the way things are and that you need your privacy.(this option is not easy because you will have to face the 'wrath' of your wife or her mother or 'both')

2) You can get a male elder in your wife's family that is 'understanding' to talk to your mother-in-law to respect you and your wife's privacy(this too is risky because it can backfire if ypur mother-in-law takes it the wrong way)

3) 'OPERATION FLUSH HER OUT"--- make your home very 'uncomfortable' for her! Old women are superstitious so you can take advantage of that, you can start by dropping strange objects in the room she sleeps whenever she visits, you can arrange for strange noises to be made close to her window in the middle of the night, if your wife travels you can even go hardcore Nollywood on her, like pretend you are carrying out strange rituals in the middle of the night or just wear all white and be dancing azonto at odd hours and make sure she sees you

GOODLUCK MAN! DONT FORGET TO COME BACK AND THANK ME WITH COLD BOTTLES OF GULDER

Lmao @no 3

show d mother in law cucumber.. ....

afroxyz:

Different strokes for different folks. Since he dies not want to confront his MIL (which he shouldn't do), he should either move to another part of the town where before anybody comes, they would first call, or move out of the house totally and leave the house for his wife and MIL. If he does not checkmate it now, they would be running his marriage and family for him. Better he starts now especially when there are no kids

He moved twice already.. Make una pity am na

@dynamite11, I think you aren't a man enough to control what event happen in your home, with all ur reply and complain, guy stand up on your feet and make your decision firm! Confront her and let her know in a subtle manner that you aren't happy how your privacy is been invaded, u need a space to enjoy your family. Except there is something hidden between you and you mother-inlaw that u didn't disclose here. How can she be come visiting every week? Even if she lives in the next street? no, it's certainly not acceptable. Okay , coming to do what ? Abeg let your own parent or family know this before they kill you oh. I smell something hidden here.

*** Honestly, this is not an issue. We discuss issues here. How can u say u can't speak out in your own home? Whatever you don't want, You don't watch. Hian!

Did your wife attend a University? If so, how did your MIL behave? Was she always visiting her daughter every weekend saying "she misses her daughter"?. Atimes you need to be hard hearted and also pray for wisdom on how to tell her, so she succumbs to your request.
My 10 naira tho.

dynamite11:


I knew she was a single mother before marrying her daughter and she didn't raise her daughter all by herself, I dated her daughter for 7 years before marrying her and I know she was raised by both parent, you are right my wife is a mummy's girl and there is nothing like having our own space with my MIL coz according to her the house is big enough, I can't even watch matches on weekend when I'm supposed to be resting and talking to my wife and son, I'm always in the room watching movies on YouTube because she always have the remote and it has to be on African magic while she discussed other family issues with my wife, I'm fed up

GheGhe!!! you are married to a senior and junior wives...Go on vacation with side chick and be careful of snipper poison.

I am very sorry man, but your MIL has no shame. Its even a shameful thing for a MIL to be visiting frequently, its not even allowed in my place cos we have culture. Just be very careful the way you handle the matter, so it does not affect your marriage. I have to tell my wife even before marriage that nobody stays with us, you can visit and go, same policy we abide by all my siblins. My parents too does not support that. My advise is either because you guys are very close. Its either you move farther away from her reach where she will have to pay her through her nose to come or let your mum visit you and have a talk with her next time she visits. Gudluck

dynamite11:


I knew she was a single mother before marrying her daughter and she didn't raise her daughter all by herself, I dated her daughter for 7 years before marrying her and I know she was raised by both parent, you are right my wife is a mummy's girl and there is nothing like having our own space with my MIL coz according to her the house is big enough, I can't even watch matches on weekend when I'm supposed to be resting and talking to my wife and son, I'm always in the room watching movies on YouTube because she always have the remote and it has to be on African magic while she discussed other family issues with my wife, I'm fed up

hmmm. This is a serious case. I know ur kind. Easy going. Dnt like raising his voice. Dnt like getting angry nd al. Trust me. This situation u are in will make u wish u were not d way u are (gentle). It takes courage to make ur home problems public. Though a problem shared is a problem half solved. Tough times calls for tough approach. I doubt if ur wife ve seen hw fed up u are. Nd u are not d type dat likes to argue or nag. Ur wife got married to u and not her mum. Make her see dat. Give urself a break frm home. Though before u do, make sure ur wife knows y u are giving her a break. Spend more time away with friends. I know u ve few nd not used to dat. But u ve to try. U ve to step up ur actions before u lose ur mind.

I want to believe you have tried so much to put an end to her frequent visits which has yet to yield any meaningful result. They say ''Desperates times needs desperate measures'', she keeps coming to your/her daughter's house cos she feels comfortable coming there. What of if you start making it UNCOMFORTABLE for her there, You can easily arrange and invite your friends to your house on weekends to watch league matches, play video games with you, if you have single ones among them, they can come over with their girlfriends and party with you for no reason. With this, your wife would be tempted to ask you If you realise you're married and should enjoy some privacy. Then you can make your mark from there.
NOTE: Make your friends understand the reasons for your actions so they won't turn it to habit when your problems must have been solved.

JUST WHAT I THINK,,,,,, SO GOOD LUCK bro!

*following*
These advices would have been opposing if Op were a woman

This is like between the devil and the deep blue sea. I feel it's because your wife is her only child. She would eventually outgrow it.
Whatever decision you take, please try not to strain the relationship between you and your MIL.

castleofmercy:


Says who? Change ko, buhari ni.

Trust me!, but in case she doesn't , send her to come and spend 3 days with me

And again you have to be extra careful because of local vegetables, love soup ...

simple my brother, start bringing your own family members too to spend the weekend and while at it do make sure that your mum demands much from her too like bring up unnecessary gist with your wife and also let her start dictating to ur wife what you enjoy eating and all that. you too on your part fill your mum up on all that happens in the house and let her start to interfere in ur house hold (Chai this is the part we women hate)

soon your wife go tire, na she go even call family meeting.

dynamite11:
My problem started shortly after our wedding this year, and ever since its like I'm in a versus kind of relationship( I versus my wife and her family). She is so controlling, she knows all of our business my wife makes sure she keeps her up to date on every little details that goes on in our lives and she is never out of our lives not even for a week and I think my wife is ok with it because her mother can never be wrong.

She worships her either she is right or wrong, she is always visiting every weekend and sometimes stays with us for a week or two only to come back the following weekend saying she misses us, when I got married to my wife I didn't ask for a bonus, I don't know why we can't be left alone, and the worse part of it is that she comes with other family members and we always have a full house, I'm an introvert and I love my privacy but with my mother in-law I will never have that. I have become sad over the past few months and it's affecting my home because I can't even talk to my wife anymore because she is her mother's ear piece, I'm losing my sanity, she is coming over this weekend and I think I just need to go on a vacation alone this summer to clear my head. Have you ever had this kind of problem before? I need help please.

I am not married and I won't say I understand or know the feeling of the problem u re going through but as an introvert,I know you are very angry and you have been acting like all is well. I would like to advise that you shd not seat ur wife and her mother down to discuss the issue at hand because u will let out all the anger and u will say too much annoying,dumb and irrelevant things. it may even break ur marriage. be smart with your decisions. it isn't such a bad thing for ur mother-in-law to be around, you just have to draw the line and be the man.

zigalo:
When it happened to me, after series of sit downs with my wife and no progress, I simply moved over to a friend's place.. I didn't even inform my wife. Immediately I closed from work on a Friday, I went to my friend's house (Bachelor). They were all looking for me, I didn't even pick their calls, until my mom called me and I explained to her. I think she told my wife and she came to my office to look for me on Monday. Without any form of quarrel I calmly told my wife that I have decided to move on since I cannot marry her and her mother and its obvious she cannot talk to her mom. Because sincerely I didn't have any reason to talk to the mother to avoid any issue of disrespect. I told her I was trying to put some money together to get an apartment of my own and start all over again.

After long quarrel through the week she called me that my MIL in not coming over this weekend that I should please come back home. I waited till Monday after work and I went back home and I don't know what she eventually told her mom and I didn't ask till today except when we had our second child. my MIL no dey come anyhow.

It was a drastic trick I used if it had backfired. It created a strain in our relationship but I think I am better for it.

dynamite11, this is the best thing you can do.

This guy has said it all, believe me, I am a married man.

The fact is that it is your wife that is supposed to address this issue not you.

Since she has refused to do so, move out of the house for her, let her marry her mother.

Igwe85:
Introvert indeed! Ehn kúkú tell her to pack in idiot....... Tell ur wife, u are not comfortable with her mother visiting u.... Lobatan....... If she do orí kúnkùn, send her out with her shameless mother......... Jarae........ Shine Ur face.........

Free this guy jor..him just come here to wine us nii oooo..introvert kor kataport niii..i will send the mama and the called wife out the first day its happen...its happen to me when I move to my house my mother in law visit us and I ask my wife same day she arrive when will her mother leave she said she don't know,immediately I send her out to go ask her for me to know and plan my self...I think this guy need to find job for his wife in borno asap...the guy matter is so simple than what my 2yrs boy will handle

dynamite11:
My problem started shortly after our wedding this year, and ever since its like I'm in a versus kind of relationship( I versus my wife and her family). She is so controlling, she knows all of our business my wife makes sure she keeps her up to date on every little details that goes on in our lives and she is never out of our lives not even for a week and I think my wife is ok with it because her mother can never be wrong.

She worships her either she is right or wrong, she is always visiting every weekend and sometimes stays with us for a week or two only to come back the following weekend saying she misses us, when I got married to my wife I didn't ask for a bonus, I don't know why we can't be left alone, and the worse part of it is that she comes with other family members and we always have a full house, I'm an introvert and I love my privacy but with my mother in-law I will never have that. I have become sad over the past few months and it's affecting my home because I can't even talk to my wife anymore because she is her mother's ear piece, I'm losing my sanity, she is coming over this weekend and I think I just need to go on a vacation alone this summer to clear my head. Have you ever had this kind of problem before? I need help please.

My brother just bring your own mama inside the house. Since they wanna be childish, join the bandwagon! Trust me, mother-in-laws hate each other. Give your mum the very same attention ur wife is giving hers. Be sure you make this plan with your mum. Your wife will get uncomfortable and jealous.... Shikena!

Na sense dem dey take catch monkey

dynamite11:

According to my mother inlaw it's no longer my house it belongs to us both and she needs to see her daughter from time to time, I have told my wife over and over again during the week that I don't want to see her mother in my house this weekend only to see the gateman opening the gate for her mother, she calls that a surprise visit because my wife told her already that I don't want to see her, I'm becoming an evil husband to her already

@Op... i laugh..this is not an issue, i will give
you a secret to that but pls don't tell anybody

stop the complaints to your wife or anybody
i will give u the solution, practically tested and
and it works like booom

let me continue reading to see what guys are
saying afterwards i will quote you to solve
your problem then you'll thank me later

All you have to do is find a man who will pursue and romance your mother in law. Once this happens, she will even call to tell her daughter she is busy and can't see her until a month later.

pls kindly call your pastor in to the matter

My candid suggestion ! Talk to a frnd of urs not yet married, ltell him all u facing and invite him to come stay wit u wenever ur mother in law is around. So wen she dey sitting room wit her daughter u go dey bedroom wit ur frnd .make unaa always laugh and shout if u can get two frnds who understand and can play d game d better and three d best. Try dis and thank me later bro

soberdrunk:
My brother you have three options::::::


3) 'OPERATION FLUSH HER OUT"--- make your home very 'uncomfortable' for her! Old women are superstitious so you can take advantage of that, you can start by dropping strange objects in the room she sleeps whenever she visits, you can arrange for strange noises to be made close to her window in the middle of the night, if your wife travels you can even go hardcore Nollywood on her, like pretend you are carrying out strange rituals in the middle of the night or just wear all white and be dancing azonto at odd hours and make sure she sees you
D

I suspected weed, then Gulder but I realised that it is just very cold water that made you wrote such a very funny comment.
Thank you for making me laugh hard.

Twaci:
Simple.....

Invite your mom over

you ladies ehn. Chai I fear u people.Very short and best answer to his problem. I'm sure the wife won't like for his mum to visit too often. So then d guy will say if she wants his mother's visit to reduce, hers too must reduce. Na reverse psycology

soberdrunk:
My brother you have three options::::::

1) You can man up and tell your wife and her mother that you are not comfortable with the way things are and that you need your privacy.(this option is not easy because you will have to face the 'wrath' of your wife or her mother or 'both')

2) You can get a male elder in your wife's family that is 'understanding' to talk to your mother-in-law to respect you and your wife's privacy(this too is risky because it can backfire if ypur mother-in-law takes it the wrong way)

3) 'OPERATION FLUSH HER OUT"--- make your home very 'uncomfortable' for her! Old women are superstitious so you can take advantage of that, you can start by dropping strange objects in the room she sleeps whenever she visits, you can arrange for strange noises to be made close to her window in the middle of the night, if your wife travels you can even go hardcore Nollywood on her, like pretend you are carrying out strange rituals in the middle of the night or just wear all white and be dancing azonto at odd hours and make sure she sees you

GOODLUCK MAN! DONT FORGET TO COME BACK AND THANK ME WITH COLD BOTTLES OF GULDER

Looooling ... Boooy you are tha mhan!
Your piece nearly killed me... esp the all white dancing Azonto part lol!

your case is similar to mine..Mil won't just sit in her house,imagine she came two months before wife gave birth,and stayed for close to two month after birth..

immediately my baby was 41days,when wife can come out officially, I sent her to my mum house,so her mother can leave the house..

she even refused to go,claiming she will miss us. I told her am travelling. she had to go..

anytime she comes, I will make sure my wife travels the next day..

nonsense.

Widen your underpants (boxers) radius to include the whole house (parlor, kitchen, etc).

Useful link:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=underpants%20radius


Na joke o

Sorry about your issues. Consider the suggestions given and see which ones are feasible.

hmmmm.....Inlaws and interference in marriage. OP you have to to find a solution to this now before it becomes uncontrollable,trust me you can still control the situation now. As other posters has advice, you either leave the house for them or you bring in your own mother too or any of your family members to make the house uncomfortable for your wife....EOD!