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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help (40817 Views)
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Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by Sayelabola(m): 4:17pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
dynamite11: Guy, invite me, I can take the trouble for you. 1 Like 1 Share
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Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by Incrizz(f): 4:19pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
yetseyi: |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by jobsat34(m): 4:21pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
Twaci: In tuface voice: you dont wanna go down there... War between mother inlaws can be deadly ooo... OP shud not try that ooo.. |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by ameezy(m): 4:22pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
Twaci:Lol Twaci awfa na |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by luvablesam(m): 4:24pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
Prettiepearlz: Aunty don't get me wrong o but the reason y most people aren't insulting the OP is simple. ITS HIS HOUSE(He earned every penny he used to build or rent his house) so he can choose to see anyone he wants. If the situation was a turned one and the woman owns everything do you think she will even let the man talk in that house talkless her mum-inlaw? The reason y most people talk or comment negatively when a Woman complains about their mother in law visits is simple. In most events its her Sons house,(he had all the money before yu married him), she lived already with him or was a constant visitor before you met him. I hope yu catch d drift?. @OP you no dey try at all. Tell her simply that you would love it if she stops her constant visits. If she doesn't put your gateman on the spot. Besides do you know y she ended up a single mum? |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by RotimiD: 4:26pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
PUT RAT POISON IN HER FOOD OK AND INVITE YOUR MOTHER FOR HER FUNERAL. |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by deavicky(m): 4:27pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
dynamite11:write down before u present it. Or simply bring ur mum to come stay till ur wife complains |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by Sayelabola(m): 4:27pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
dynamite11: Guy, invite me, I can take the trouble for you.
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Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by princessbecky(f): 4:27pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
Seconded robosky02: |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by Obason22(m): 4:38pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
I undstd ur feeling, its unfortunate that u're just growing up to meet with things of d world and this is one of them. I discovered that d role u played at initial stage is what gives room to what is happening to u now and rite now u're afraid to talk to their face. So If I should advice u, first u have to undstd that this is husband nd wife, take it or live it, ur wife will soon turn to become type of her mother which is woman lone. So here is Wat u do in other to save ur life. Talk to ur wife as a man, nd prove to her that u're not longer comfortable abt her mother's visit , don't care to no what she feels like, rather stand on d ground cos she knows how to talk to her mumm. |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by inemani: 4:39pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
Stories like this one dey vex me ahswear! Mr Man, just man up and stamp your feet for once! Take control of your ship and anchor it, BE A MAN! I repeat, BE A MAN! Abi, u need help from my Oga? 1 Like |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by amacastel: 4:39pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
soberdrunk:U are so funny if u use dis ur 3rd option on my mum shld will pray the heck out of u dis 3rd option is not for my mother lia lia cos she is a prayer warrior and loves her kids. |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by kayfx2(m): 4:42pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
soberdrunk: I like option 3. Lol |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by crislyn(f): 4:46pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
Otunba4eva:seriously! and he keeps countering every advice given to him here and bringing Petty reasons why he can't do anything! It's sad that a man is acting like this. Oga dynamite11 do whatever makes you happy since no advice here is what you seeking for. 2 Likes |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by rokposki: 4:59pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
Number 3 will work faster soberdrunk: |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by cococandy(f): 4:59pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
Thank you. I've been reading the comments. No one has accused him of trying to separate the wife's family. Or wanting the marriage to be only 'him and his wife' I guess weird and obnoxious things are better when done by the man's family. Prettiepearlz: 2 Likes |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by cococandy(f): 5:01pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
Lol Kachisbarbie: 1 Like |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by delighteddell(m): 5:05pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
Uncle @dynamite11 "u didnt ask for a bonus" got me.....ure "dynamite" nw....You could blow your wife's mum up, out of your home. ! ! ! ! ! ! But frankly, you can take your honey out on a vacation for like a week....Do that thing you did to get her loving you, then tell her what uve been going through.....and u could suggest ways on how she can stop the tourist(her mum) who has made your house a tourist attraction. |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by repogirl(f): 5:13pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
After reading all your replies, all I can say is get used to it. Since you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or be seen as a bad husband, then suck it up and manage. Or if you have liver, then do as kar.chisbarbie said and send her back to her mother's house, to return when she has cut off the mothers apron strings. 1 Like |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by doskie(m): 5:13pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
dynamite11:initially when i read your story, i felt a level of grief and anger because i tried to imagine being in your position. But after reading your responses to various intelligent suggestion, I'm tempted to say that my anger is directed to you. You are tolerating it and complaining at the same time. If you really need it to stop, show a stance. Like a man, let them know how serious you are. Go and rent another place and threaten to start a new family somewhere, tell them you have somewhere else and that every time she comes around, you will go there. Tell them you cant be there alone for too long and that you will install a woman there with whom you can spend quality time in peace without supervision or interference from her mom. Gradually your wife will learn to choose between her marriage and her mums compliance with your rules. This is not Time to act like a wall flower. Stand out like a man and make your voice determine the activities around you. One last thing mr; you were wrong when you said all this started shortly after the marriage. No! For benin we say “na from clap dem take dey enter dance" you probably have been showing signs all along that you are always willing to compromise and accept standards provided by others. They are only working with the information you provided them with. 6 Likes |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by Minemrys: 5:15pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
dynamite11:don't deal with her. Reason with her, make her see you as a man and the man of the house n0t the boy she sees you as. |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by Nweike1: 5:21pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
my guy, you must never allow this. You are the man and the head of your household. Don't for one minute accept such nonsense. You must put your foot down. Tell your wife to tell her mother to back away. If she says she is coming, tell her there is no space because your own people are coming to spend some time with you. If it's not agreeable to your wife, tell her she is free to leave |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by GoodMuyis(m): 5:24pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
dynamite11 what about relocating to another state, i mean very far, If you can, since she knows that you're not comfortable with her c frequent visit and she did not apologize, she dont give a dam about you, Next she visit, just the house and come back home the following week, if she did not get the gesture, let your visiting her instead of her two weekend in month. Sir, man up, you still have long years to live and enjoy your wife not MIL. But dont result to fight oo abeg |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by just2okworld(f): 5:26pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
enigma2007: The wife Na the cause See as I dey pity the guy sha,he's the quiet type as I can view from his points made here |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by Prettiepearlz(f): 5:26pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
luvablesam:Uncle, don't get me wrong too oooooooo, what gave you the impression that the wife didn't give financial support in the building, buying or renting of the house? You make me laugh I swear. Let's even look at it from your angle, so because her son bought, built or rented the house as the case maybe is now a GOOD reason for a MIL to come and invade her children's privacy thereby inconveniencing the wife right? Please don't get me wrong, a wife shouldn't stop her MIL from visiting her son's house but all I am saying is she shouldn't make it an everyday thing and that's what these women who come here complain about and nairaland guys eat them raw by judging them but now the table is turned and you come up with this? Goodness me! You guys are selfish and manipulative! All you do is think about yourself. Just imagine! A man owns the house, so what happened to a man shall leave his father and mother and join to his wife and they shall become one? . Why una nor tell am to endure? After all, they are one and the house belongs to them both now. You made a statement about a woman becoming the boss of the house if she was the bread winner, I ask you is it all women? Haven't we seen women who are breadwinners who didn't for one day disrespect her husband (if you haven't seen any, I have). Now I am not saying we don't have some bad eggs amongst us but you lots should stop generalizing things. And lastly, once married, the house no longer belongs to the man, it belongs to both the husband and the WIFE. So stop making it seem like you're doing women favours by marrying them. You're both doing yourselves favours. Cococandy, please read this uncle's comment 7 Likes |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by 9jatatafo(m): 5:28pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
afroxyz: I reason am and I have to tell you that is not a bribe. That is a way of keeping her afar. From what the OP said, he has to be careful and wise. The trade stuff is a kind of sacrifice. |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by Prettiepearlz(f): 5:30pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
cococandy:Exactly! It's a selfish world we have here. Especially on this Nairaland, a lot of them just misyarn. Now the table is turned and they are finding a way to manipulate it. 2 Likes |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by oxyG: 5:37pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
soberdrunk:You just nearly killed somebody with LAUGHTER. You have a bottle of red oil man. |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by oxyG: 5:37pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
soberdrunk:You just nearly killed somebody with LAUGHTER. You have a bottle of palm oil man. |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by walexsho(m): 5:37pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
I'll advice you not to say anything. You should demonstrate your feelings through action. For example, don't stay or sleep at home whenever she is around. she'll know you are not comfortable seeing her often. |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by cococandy(f): 5:43pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
This one is even advising him to cheat on his wife because her mom visits a lot. Could you people be more shameless in your hypocrisy? SM comos: |
Re: My Mother-In-law Visits Too Often, How Do I Deal With That? Please Help by cococandy(f): 5:45pm On Aug 11, 2016 |
I'm not surprised at his comments. Wouldn't have expected anything different. Prettiepearlz: 1 Like |
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