Theblessed:

For those into this kind of behaviour (both married men and women) and those who support it, I say more grease to your elbows and good luck with this your SOUGHT-AFTER kind of lifestyle. 

Hope you're all happy and rejoicing in Heaven afterwards!!!!!

they can bring their girlfriends to their matrimonial beds and even invite their wives to join in the fun.

bawomolo:

^^

in the words of kanye - we want prenup

Theblessed:

[b]Hi Young lady, God bless you for sticking to your principles and refusing to bow to these shameless bastards! You did the right thing and I wish other young Nigerian girls would respect themselves just as you had.

You see generally, Nigeria men are known CHEATERS at least 98.9% of them! Yes, some people on here would say that I am generalising but I challenge them to show me a Nigerian man who had never thought, dreamt and ACTUALLY, done it! What percentage of them, I demand to know? Yes, men are prone to cheating irrespective of their status but some how African men are worse than their contemporaries from other parts of the world - the worst are Nigerian and South African men. These lots have no respect for their marriages or women in their lives - they are damn and damn SELFISH bastards, period! That's why Nigerian women here in the West are giving as good as they get and obviously the men don't like it.

My advise, if you had made up your mind not to marry them, good - DON'T! They would only cause you HYPETENSION, ok! THEY ARE NO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD at being faithful - just a handful of them and as you'd said the good ones had all been taken. The few good ones are gone and na only YEYE ones remains, period! Imagine him explaining to you the lengths he would go to hide his relationship with you from his wife, what makes you or anyone else think if you would go along with it and he marries you, he wouldn't do the same? eh!!

This behaviour runs in a Nigerian man's BLOOD including the young ones of your age because they are learning from what they see their elders do, and get away with. They get away with it because, Nigeria has no laws that protects women therefore, Nigerian woman does as she's told. In addition, poverty, unemployment, lack of social provisions - free healthcare/education and other benefits people can fall back to are not available to empower Nigerian women to seek independence from such ugly and unhappy marriages. Therefore, since you are poor you'd do any thing for survival and this makes Nigerian women (married/unmarried) more VULNERABLE than they should be. Thus, a Nigerian wife is a DOCILE wife, she can only shout but she can't BITE. She would accept anything in her marriage because she has no REMEDY at law and, no one would listen to her even if she complains. Thus, a Nigerian man has field days in his marriage - to do as he pleases and getting away with it. Should Nigerian women both married and unmarried be empowered and have access to these resources, our men would respect their women because, Nigerian women are as wise and clever as their men (if not more) - and they know it.

Here in West, women are protected by law and men knows the boundaries they MUST NOT cross else, they get their BALLS squeezed and crushed and they know it, DON'T THEY?? They don't mess with us here as simply as that. Yes, any man or woman can mess with a partner if they're millionaires or Billionaires like Bill Gates. And if you are their partner at least, you have a CHOICE - to go or to stay! If you chooses to go, there's a sure Banker, a GOOD HAND SHAKE would seal the deal for you - you have good settlement and laughing all the way to the BANK - Hurray!!!!!!!

At least their partners would not bother any more who they sleep around with and they have their peace of mind for GOOD! So, my young-on stick with your principles and for any reason please, don't lower your standards and also teach your friends the same and how to respect their DIGNITY. If all young Nigerian girls/women would emulate your behaviour, Nigerian men would certainly change and learn to respect their marriages and women in their lives but since there's no law protecting women back home, most Nigerian women would continue to put up with this hopeless and nasty situation and, I for one would not.

You cheat and get caught, you're history. No, nonesense here!

And for my young lady, I hope you find the right guy that would make you happy one day. God bless you!! [/b]

chic2pimp:

 

izi-n-bizi:

its more interesting when some of the unmarried men already plan on how to cheat on their wives, I mean som1 thats already wedding planning

Godmother:

A married man actually told me that it is only women that cheat. When a man sleeps with someone other than his wife, he's just being a Nigerian man. But when a woman does it, she is cheating. That's to sho how bad this adultery thing is.

chic2pimp:

 

Hmmmm! As if she cares! Not one bit, buddy!

ocelot2006:

I have to admit that infidelity is becoming a major issue among men. I vividly remember a chat I had with my bosses and fellow co-workers once (all men) during our break period. The topic on relationships were brought up and I raised the issue of infidelity. All of a sudden, the office got quiet and they ALL broke out laughing, telling me that they all had mistresses/side lays apart from their wives. As far as they were concerned, I was just a young guy who knew nothing about life. The saddest part of all this was that they were ALL married to VERY beautiful women and had very lovely kids. What the hell happened to faithfulness and the marriage vows  ?

Imagine, what we are all reading my dear brother!  Again I join you ask 'What the hell happened to faithfulness and the marriage vows'?  I wonder!  Let's just pray that God forgive these evils as the devil is in operation in peoples' lives because, they let him in,   But God can only forgive these evils if those participating in them are unaware of what they are doing however, all in it, knows exactly what they are doing therefore, it would not go unpunished in the eyes of God.  Its up to them, now! You see, that's why most marriages are miserable and in turmoil as well as those in them - very, very unhappy. 

To that may I ask these people, why get married only to be unhappy, why I still need their answers but they are too ashamed or too Hypocritical to give me an answer.  Well, it seems to me that, marriage these days is so unfortunate!!!

Theblessed:

[b]Hi Young lady, God bless you for sticking to your principles and refusing to bow to these shameless bastards! You did the right thing and I wish other young Nigerian girls would respect themselves just as you had.

You see generally, Nigeria men are known CHEATERS at least 98.9% of them! Yes, some people on here would say that I am generalising but I challenge them to show me a Nigerian man who had never thought, dreamt and ACTUALLY, done it! What percentage of them, I demand to know? Yes, men are prone to cheating irrespective of their status but some how African men are worse than their contemporaries from other parts of the world - the worst are Nigerian and South African men. These lots have no respect for their marriages or women in their lives - they are damn and damn SELFISH bastards, period! That's why Nigerian women here in the West are giving as good as they get and obviously the men don't like it.

My advise, if you had made up your mind not to marry them, good - DON'T! They would only cause you HYPETENSION, ok! THEY ARE NO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD at being faithful - just a handful of them and as you'd said the good ones had all been taken. The few good ones are gone and na only YEYE ones remains, period! Imagine him explaining to you the lengths he would go to hide his relationship with you from his wife, what makes you or anyone else think if you would go along with it and he marries you, he wouldn't do the same? eh!!

This behaviour runs in a Nigerian man's BLOOD including the young ones of your age because they are learning from what they see their elders do, and get away with. They get away with it because, Nigeria has no laws that protects women therefore, Nigerian woman does as she's told. In addition, poverty, unemployment, lack of social provisions - free healthcare/education and other benefits people can fall back to are not available to empower Nigerian women to seek independence from such ugly and unhappy marriages. Therefore, since you are poor you'd do any thing for survival and this makes Nigerian women (married/unmarried) more VULNERABLE than they should be. Thus, a Nigerian wife is a DOCILE wife, she can only shout but she can't BITE. She would accept anything in her marriage because she has no REMEDY at law and, no one would listen to her even if she complains. Thus, a Nigerian man has field days in his marriage - to do as he pleases and getting away with it. Should Nigerian women both married and unmarried be empowered and have access to these resources, our men would respect their women because, Nigerian women are as wise and clever as their men (if not more) - and they know it.

Here in West, women are protected by law and men knows the boundaries they MUST NOT cross else, they get their BALLS squeezed and crushed and they know it, DON'T THEY?? They don't mess with us here as simply as that. Yes, any man or woman can mess with a partner if they're millionaires or Billionaires like Bill Gates. And if you are their partner at least, you have a CHOICE - to go or to stay! If you chooses to go, there's a sure Banker, a GOOD HAND SHAKE would seal the deal for you - you have good settlement and laughing all the way to the BANK - Hurray!!!!!!!

At least their partners would not bother any more who they sleep around with and they have their peace of mind for GOOD! So, my young-on stick with your principles and for any reason please, don't lower your standards and also teach your friends the same and how to respect their DIGNITY. but since there's no law protecting women back home, most Nigerian women would continue to put up with this hopeless and nasty situation and, I for one would not.

You cheat and get caught, you're history. No, nonesense here!

And for my young lady, I hope you find the right guy that would make you happy one day. God bless you!! [/b]

Ebonyeyes:

That's why they are getting away with murder because they know someone will still take them.

Yes, yes, yes and yes my dear sister! Because African women are DISSEMPOWERED - to be independent women they should be coupled with, societal stigmatisation and name calling of women (both married/unmarried) when they go against what is considered 'societal norms'.  For example, when a girl of certain age is not yet married, she is perceived in our culture as a failure thus lorry-loads of negative vocal/verbal abuses are rendered on her thus, demoralising her and damaging her confidence, self esteem etc as a result, anything with a privates that approaches her for a relationship would get her jump in with her head first without thoroughly investigations, only to regret later hence, the miserable circumstances most women find themselves in.  Again, if you are married and happens to be unhappy to the extent of challenging the unfairness in your marriage, the same culture will perceive you as OKENWANYI, AKATA, NWANYI KA DI YA (Derogatory terms in Igbo please bear with me - I am really, really angry with this our unjust, unfair, evil and double standard of a culture!)

As you can see, these are strategies our men and society use in keeping women under their thumbs and thus, getting away with murder.  It's about time we women should understand that these are weapon men use to undermine us and thus, focus on "SELF" for a change, instead of trying to please and please and please family and society to our own detriment and unhappiness. I understand, women are nurturing by nature but we are being used and abused because of our good hearts and we should wake up and act as selfishly as men. Why not?

If you are not happy in a relationship and wants to leave it but family objects, DO IT anyway, irrespective of what anyone else thinks because at the end of the day, it's you Human Rights to be happy.  You deserve to be happy and are entitled to happiness just as the man chasing anything in skirt feels happy doing it. Why shouldn't you go and find your own happiness at the end of the day, whose life is it anyway?? Yours!!! And you are the one ACCOUNTABLE for it in the presence of God, no one else! People say its a man's world and women should do as they're told, I say it's a woman's world too and without us, it's damn miserable place for guys to live in and our God knew it when he pitied Adam's miserable loneliness, abi! What a loner he was without his woman!! Let me hear them again talk about a man's world and satan would have their ears one by one!lol!!!!!?

Theblessed:

Imagine, what we are all reading my dear brother!  Again I join you ask 'What the hell happened to faithfulness and the marriage vows'?  I wonder!  Let's just pray that God forgive these evils as the devil is in operation in peoples' lives because, they let him in,   But God can only forgive these evils if those participating in them are unaware of what they are doing however, all in it, knows exactly what they are doing therefore, it would not go unpunished in the eyes of God.  Its up to them, now! You see, that's why most marriages are miserable and in turmoil as well as those in them - very, very unhappy.  
To that may I ask these people, why get married only to be unhappy, why I still need their answers but they are too ashamed or too Hypocritical to give me an answer.  Well, it seems to me that, marriage these days is so unfortunate

Theblessed:

Yes, yes, yes and yes my dear sister! Because African women are DISSEMPOWERED - to be independent women they should be coupled with, societal stigmatisation and name calling of women (both married/unmarried) when they go against what is considered 'societal norms'. For example, when a girl of certain age is not yet married, she is perceived in our culture as a failure thus lorry-loads of negative vocal/verbal abuses are rendered on her thus, demoralising her and damaging her confidence, self esteem etc as a result, anything with a privates that approaches her for a relationship would get her jump in with her head first without thoroughly investigations, only to regret later hence, the miserable circumstances most women find themselves in. Again, if you are married and happens to be unhappy to the extent of challenging the unfairness in your marriage, the same culture will perceive you as OKENWANYI, AKATA, NWANYI KA DI YA (Derogatory terms in Igbo please bear with me - I am really, really angry with this our unjust, unfair, evil and double standard of a culture!)

As you can see, these are strategies our men and society use in keeping women under their thumbs and thus, getting away with murder. It's about time we women should understand that these are weapon men use to undermine us and thus, focus on "SELF" for a change, instead of trying to please and please and please family and society to our own detriment and unhappiness. I understand, women are nurturing by nature but we are being used and abused because of our good hearts and we should wake up and act as selfishly as men. Why not?

If you are not happy in a relationship and wants to leave it but family objects, DO IT anyway, irrespective of what anyone else thinks because at the end of the day, it's you Human Rights to be happy. You deserve to be happy and are entitled to happiness just as the man chasing anything in skirt feels happy doing it. Why shouldn't you go and find your own happiness at the end of the day, whose life is it anyway?? Yours!!! And you are the one ACCOUNTABLE for it in the presence of God, no one else! People say its a man's world and women should do as they're told, I say it's a woman's world too and without us, it's damn miserable place for guys to live in and our God knew it when he pitied Adam's miserable loneliness, abi! What a loner he was without his woman!! Let me hear them again talk about a man's world and satan would have their ears one by one!lol!!!!!?

ocelot2006:

I have to admit that infidelity is becoming a major issue among men. I vividly remember a chat I had with my bosses and fellow co-workers once (all men) during our break period. The topic on relationships were brought up and I raised the issue of infidelity. All of a sudden, the office got quiet and they ALL broke out laughing, telling me that they all had mistresses/side lays apart from their wives. As far as they were concerned, I was just a young guy who knew nothing about life. The saddest part of all this was that they were ALL married to VERY beautiful women and had very lovely kids. What the hell happened to faithfulness and the marriage vows ?

Rosabelle:

Well I never thought I'd say this to you, but youre right. Youre sooo right, Im like  

60% of the mothers in our society need to be taken one by one and flogged because when a woman asks God for a child, the only thing HE demands of her is that she be a Mother. Its apalling, the job mothers do nowadays.
They bring up their boys to think women are glorified housewives and bring up their daughters to think their lives are not complete until a ring is sitting on their finger. Whether they marry a useless thief or not doesnt matter. The women just want to tie Asoebi.

@Poster, dont get frustrated. The problem seems to be you. Youre answering them in the first place. You dont know the easiest way to get rid of a man is to ignore him?
His pride wont beable to take it if you ignore him and he'l walk away fast. You, youre going into explanations of how you dont date married men? Pretty naive, cos black men pride themselves on their ability to convince women into dating them. Ignore them and you'l see the way they'l reduce.
Society accepts it because tradition permits polygamy in many cultures, so the only way for you to fight it is in your corner.

As one poster said, the guys probably think you look gulible enough and so they approach you. With time, if you ignore them enough, you'l get this look on your face everytime a married man approaches you that'l tell him straight up, youre not one of those girls.
This is experience talking girl.

Many of our men are useless. They see an innocent looking girl and instead of leaving her as clean as she is, they always seem to want to soil you. So the can tell themselves theyve had it all. Its disgusting.

So happy to see a sister that stood up and vocally shout down evil.  God bless you!  Its the culture we inherited that makes women think, without a ring in their 3rd finger they are worthless. Who said so?? Its about time women shrug off this mentality and stand up head above their shoulders - look our men in their eyes and say "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT, RESPECT ME AS EQUALS, OK!".  

Thanks my sister for hitting the nail on the head. Based on what you'd just said above, I think this challenge has just slipped off our mothers' hands and now, its up to young mothers' to change this culture by inculcating in their children first of all, the idea of equality in the home.  Get your boys to make their own beds, wash the dishes, hoover the house, clean the kitchen, clean toilets because they too eat and pooh. Just as you train your daughters, train your sons the same way too.  Deviate from dividing tasks in the home between 'sexes' lines e.g. a male role as against a female role.  No, no, no everybody should muck in and get the job done, period.  This way, women would begin to dismantle all the cultural negative ideas of the past generations that had not only hindered, restricted and also limited womanhood.    

The problem is that we women don't realise how powerful we are - we have the power to change this archaic culture that has never done us any favours, but we don't know it.  You see, we made men - we carried them 9 months in our bellies and push their big heads into this world baby, we have the power to show them where to sit if only we stick together.  Rally around sisters and change the system to suit us for a change, don't we deserve it.

Theblessed:

[b]So happy to see a sister that stood up and vocally shout down evil.  God bless you!  Its the culture we inherited that makes women think, without a ring in their 3rd finger they are worthless. Who said so?? Its about time women shrug off this mentality and stand up head above their shoulders - look our men in their eyes and say "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT, RESPECT ME AS EQUALS, OK!".  

Thanks my sister for hitting the nail on the head. Based on what you'd just said above, I think this challenge has just slipped off our mothers' hands and now, its up to young mothers' to change this culture by inculcating in their children first of all, the idea of equality in the home.  Get your boys to make their own beds, wash the dishes, hoover the house, clean the kitchen, clean toilets because they too eat and pooh. Just as you train your daughters, train your sons the same way too.  Deviate from dividing tasks in the home between 'sexes' lines e.g. a male role as against a female role.  No, no, no everybody should muck in and get the job done, period.  This way, women would begin to dismantle all the cultural negative ideas of the past generations that had not only hindered, restricted and also limited womanhood.    

The problem is that we women don't realise how powerful we are - we have the power to change this archaic culture that has never done us any favours, but we don't know it.  You see, we made men - we carried them 9 months in our bellies and push their big heads into this world baby, we have the power to show them where to sit if only we stick together. Rally around sisters and change the system to suit us for a change, don't we deserve it.[/b]

Mandigo:

Nigerian Men cheat because they can! they have willing accomplices everywhere so don't blame them for infidelity, just like prostitutes work because they have steady clients if they discover the business is not lucrative they will look for something elase to do.

I had a fling with a girl once (I am married by the way) and as part of our discussion she was telling of how her fiance was unfaithful to her impreganted someone else and she was really bitter about it. Meanwhile this discussion took place while we had just spent the night together and our relationship was ongoing while she and her fiance were engaged.

So please lets not judge the men.

Mandigo:

Nigerian Men cheat because they can! they have willing accomplices everywhere so don't blame them for infidelity, just like prostitutes work because they have steady clients if they discover the business is not lucrative they you need the canelook for something elase to do.

I had a fling with a girl once (I am married by the way) and as part of our discussion she was telling of how her fiance was unfaithful to her impreganted someone else and she was really bitter about it. Meanwhile this discussion took place while we had just spent the night together and our relationship was ongoing while she and her fiance were engaged.

So please lets not judge the men.