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Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by CuteMorriz: 6:26pm On Sep 26, 2016
pumpingmachine:
Listen to this wise person cos it's true. My brother married one and the marriage has collapsed. I also married one and I'm so fed up with her. I grew up in a complete happy home so nothing prepared me for the stuffs she's throwing at me, not to forget her mum that wants to turn me to ATM machine. Run if you can, if not, do what I do - take solace in your career if you have one.
creamish, cococandy, paperlace, cute hector...you see people who are in support of my opinion have real life experience of what am talking about you guys are just trying to be termed "rational"....
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Missmossy(f): 6:27pm On Sep 26, 2016
I don't agree, that a chicken laid a bad egg today doesn't mean she will everyday. The mind of a lady/woman is quite strong so her been good or bad isn't always as a result of the union that births her.


Its highly important that we look beyond the faucets of whatever origin that seem to prevail in the society. Its no news that the divorce rate in the country is on the high side but still a book shouldn't be judged by its cover.

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Originalsly: 6:27pm On Sep 26, 2016
Hmmm... looking at the the comments from too many of these ladies I have no doubt if they are single parents then this same kind of disrespecting and downgrading men would likely be indirectly passed on to their daughters. ...and this is what this thread is talking about. Guys brought up by mom's only.... high risk of being mummy's boy!

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by holluphemydavid(m): 6:27pm On Sep 26, 2016
I stand with d OP, but some ladies will not like dis, but dats d truth
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Ghost447(m): 6:27pm On Sep 26, 2016
Arthurwinner:
impaired perception
Let's hear your perception please.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by SamOgasco(m): 6:28pm On Sep 26, 2016
PaperLace:

I wonder why anyone would sit in his house and tell me not to get emotional_ psychic much?
You can't even answer simple questions, yet you claim to be logical. If you're that logical, you would know those questions are a subliminal way of telling you, it takes a couple for a marriage to work. Majority of the threads here on NL complaining of bad wives (that's me trying to FOCUS), I haven't seen any_ where it was stated that the wife was brought up by a single mum.
Sooo, what went wrong Mr Logic?

Do you know Nigeria's population? I ask once again.
You met just one lady raised by a single mum, out of millions of Nigerians and you run to NL to create thread...as statistician you be ba?

There are few single dads you say?
Jointly made, jointly owned.
'but somehow the woman gets to be stuck with the kids, most times doesn't get married again, raises them to be strong independent people and you think you can rule them out without giving them a chance? Who exactly are you, Uncle?

I am not 'empathising' with anyone but I know what it takes to train a child. Anyone who does that (independently) gets my support.
Now, go back and answer my questions, stop looking for supporters grin.

See young lady, either you like it or not, the Op is accurately and logically right....
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Appareil(m): 6:28pm On Sep 26, 2016
razortruth:
Unfortunately, this assertion is very true. Even my brother's wife who is a chosen mopol, I mean a member of the Lord's chosen church owned by Pastor Lazarus Nmoka deserted her husband because that's exactly how her mother behaved. Their mother ran away from the husband and trained them (five girls) alone and today, none of them is living with the husband. Even with all entreaties and begging from my brother, she remained adamant and incorrigible. What baffles me is that they made her "a worker" and ursher even with her immoral lifestyle perhaps because she pays "big tithe" it's so unfortunate. But this assertion cannot be generalized. There are the few whom God himself touched their hearts to be different from their mother. Note:My brother is young!!!
I don't know that Church to compromise on such issues. Thank you
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by adedayoa2(f): 6:29pm On Sep 26, 2016
pumpingmachine:
No vex dear, just sharing my experience
I no vex o
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by CuteMorriz: 6:29pm On Sep 26, 2016
razortruth:
Unfortunately, this assertion is very true. Even my brother's wife who is a chosen mopol, I mean a member of the Lord's chosen church owned by Pastor Lazarus Nmoka deserted her husband because that's exactly how her mother behaved. Their mother ran away from the husband and trained them (five girls) alone and today, none of them is living with the husband. Even with all entreaties and begging from my brother, she remained adamant and incorrigible. What baffles me is that they made her "a worker" and ursher even with her immoral lifestyle perhaps because she pays "big tithe" it's so unfortunate. But this assertion cannot be generalized. There are the few whom God himself touched their hearts to be different from their mother. Note:My brother is young!!!
creamish paperlace cococandy ladymercedes et al...pls look at real life experiences
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by misspicy(f): 6:30pm On Sep 26, 2016
komzybrown:
then who will marry a lady raised by a single parent
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Ghost447(m): 6:30pm On Sep 26, 2016
niggi4life:
90% of my Ex GFs and female friends who were raised by sinlge parent are not yet married and some are over 30yrs.
The 10% who are into relationships or married are usually rude and they are too quick to judge the guys easily.

I am not blaming anyone here, it's just what i have observed.
I have the same experience

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Ikigia: 6:30pm On Sep 26, 2016
The stated points aren't fact, just logic. Single mum or not, it all bears down to the daughter in question.

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by twinklestar(m): 6:32pm On Sep 26, 2016
CuteMorriz:
I am not saying ladies raised by single parents are all bad, you may get lucky finding some exceptional ladies raised by single mums. Evidently you seldom find single men raising a child but it's quite prevalent with the opposite sex.

A relation of mine was dating this lady and when the time came for the union to be made official, his parents advised him to discontinue becos after they had made enquiries and investigation they discovered the lady's mother left her husband many years ago over some frivolous reasons. Then I asked my uncle why did he side with family and not allow his son take the bold step then he said:

1. Women raised by single parent (mother) are usually strong willed hence may end up like their mother.

2. A lady who has seen no need for a father will be swift to end a union because she will have the courage to train her children alone afterall she was raised by a mum.

3. How will she get marital advice from her mum when things are tough and you know ladies often run to their mum when they need advice (remember the mother took the easy way out)

4. Sooner or later my son may become a bachelor again...the odd is high and is glaring..

5. A lady who have spent 21 years of her life without a father cannot be psychologically stable even if she appears to be.

6. Ladies raised by single parents did not experience the beautiful and ugly part of the union called marriage from her parents hence they don't have their parents as their role model.

7. Amin (as he fondly calls me) when the baton gets to you, look at the mother of your fiancèe closely because with time she will display those traits you observed in the mother......

Then I asked him what if the lady's father is dead and the mum decided to train her alone?...my uncle said we may also enquire about the untimely death of the father but "Amin that is a topic for another day"......
This write-up is an absolute nonsense created from a shallow and parochial observation. To declare a bleak future outlook and rubbish the marital aspiration of any lady due to her challenging background reeks of a repugnant thought process. It is thesame reprehensible, uncanny reasoning that has held back the development and consolidation of our national potentials across different ethinic lines.
At best, your deductions and conclusion are very stereotyped

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by SamOgasco(m): 6:33pm On Sep 26, 2016
olayinkajnr:
@CuteMorriz, I can relate to all you listed out. Its as though you took it all from what I'm experiencing with my madam. You didn't add that they like been the boss in any relationship.

You're right. And they are kind of proved uncontrollable as well. They will never yield to any form of correction as well, they seems to know it all as well. People people like them always find it difficult to apologize even when they are 100% wrong and obviously at fault as well.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Mayoaite(m): 6:34pm On Sep 26, 2016
mecussey:
True to an extent, however some of the girls are super willing to prove to there mum that she does not have enough reason to leave there father hence, will manage there marriage by all means

You can't give what u don't have.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Ghost447(m): 6:34pm On Sep 26, 2016
PaperLace:
rubbish.
Ain't they better than people raised by two abusive parents?

It's actually a good quality to be able to carry on without most men of this generation.
Present your argument without using abusive words.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by divineappo(m): 6:35pm On Sep 26, 2016
@OP: everything you wrote there is trash, LAWMA is coming for pickup.

As for me ooo, whether she was brought up by single or double parent, or even grew up without any parent, all that matters is my love for her.

6 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Goshgurl: 6:35pm On Sep 26, 2016
@Poster, this strikes me as a warning to children of ''regular parenting'' who intend to ensure that they oppress, maltreat, degrade and abuse their spouses in marriage. You are alerting them that if they marry children of single mothers, they are likely to get as much punches, verbal abuse, slaps, venom and possibly declarations of independence as the child of ''regular parenting'' is dishing out.

I totally agree that bullies should be careful of this breed of children. Experience has taught them that they are PEOPLE and they have a right to say NO to any situation that is detrimental.

No sane woman, gets up and leaves her marriage, if you check the spate of single mothers there is a dark history and for your so-called elders to myopically tell you that a woman who finally got up to say NO to abuse and tyranny is anything other than brave means you have to check the psychological standing of that elder.

Nevertheless, since single parenting is greatly on the increase... no worries, children of single parents will marry themselves and with the self respect and other interesting qualities a battered woman will teach them to have/not to have, they will have amazing marriages, while the crazy and psychologically damaged children that regular parents are breeding these days will continue to wallow in misery accepting abuse and tyranny as the norm just so they do not become a topic on nairaland.

Thank you for the warning indeed.

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Ikigia: 6:35pm On Sep 26, 2016
CuteMorriz:
I am not saying ladies raised by single parents are all bad, you may get lucky finding some exceptional ladies raised by single mums. Evidently you seldom find single men raising a child but it's quite prevalent with the opposite sex.

A relation of mine was dating this lady and when the time came for the union to be made official, his parents advised him to discontinue becos after they had made enquiries and investigation they discovered the lady's mother left her husband many years ago over some frivolous reasons. Then I asked my uncle why did he side with family and not allow his son take the bold step then he said:

1. Women raised by single parent (mother) are usually strong willed hence may end up like their mother.

2. A lady who has seen no need for a father will be swift to end a union because she will have the courage to train her children alone afterall she was raised by a mum.

3. How will she get marital advice from her mum when things are tough and you know ladies often run to their mum when they need advice (remember the mother took the easy way out)

4. Sooner or later my son may become a bachelor again...the odd is high and is glaring..

5. A lady who have spent 21 years of her life without a father cannot be psychologically stable even if she appears to be.

6. Ladies raised by single parents did not experience the beautiful and ugly part of the union called marriage from her parents hence they don't have their parents as their role model.

7. Amin (as he fondly calls me) when the baton gets to you, look at the mother of your fiancèe closely because with time she will display those traits you observed in the mother......

Then I asked him what if the lady's father is dead and the mum decided to train her alone?...my uncle said we may also enquire about the untimely death of the father but "Amin that is a topic for another day"......


Does it mean all failed marriages are caused by the wife/mother?

2 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Dentmoyin(m): 6:36pm On Sep 26, 2016
eyah! So sorry i love to a point, her family background aint really a problem, she is from a single parent tho, but am not worried...whateva will be the case, its my cross...

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by lifestyle1(m): 6:36pm On Sep 26, 2016
Well, some of them can be hot tempared, rude - won't take bullshit, cant endure no pain/suffering for long, too free-they can go out and come back anytime-mummy won't talk and no daddy to scold them.

How do i know all these ?

My ex is one, my present girl is one. I might even end up marrying one . grin

They are beautiful, playful and hardworking.

I have seen few on this thread with similar treats.

No matter what a woman still needs a man in her life
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Mayoaite(m): 6:36pm On Sep 26, 2016
twinklestar:

This write-up is an absolute nonsense created from a shallow and parochial observation. To declare a bleak future outlook and rubbish the marital aspiration of any lady due to her challenging background reeks of a repugnant thought process. It is thesame reprehensible, uncanny reasoning that has held back the development and consolidation of our national potentials across different ethinic lines.
At best, your deductions and conclusion are very stereotyped

Okay na.....
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by shizzy7(f): 6:36pm On Sep 26, 2016
CuteMorriz:
I am not saying ladies raised by single parents are all bad, you may get lucky finding some exceptional ladies raised by single mums. Evidently you seldom find single men raising a child but it's quite prevalent with the opposite sex.

A relation of mine was dating this lady and when the time came for the union to be made official, his parents advised him to discontinue becos after they had made enquiries and investigation they discovered the lady's mother left her husband many years ago over some frivolous reasons. Then I asked my uncle why did he side with family and not allow his son take the bold step then he said:

1. Women raised by single parent (mother) are usually strong willed hence may end up like their mother.

2. A lady who has seen no need for a father will be swift to end a union because she will have the courage to train her children alone afterall she was raised by a mum.

3. How will she get marital advice from her mum when things are tough and you know ladies often run to their mum when they need advice (remember the mother took the easy way out)

4. Sooner or later my son may become a bachelor again...the odd is high and is glaring..

5. A lady who have spent 21 years of her life without a father cannot be psychologically stable even if she appears to be.

6. Ladies raised by single parents did not experience the beautiful and ugly part of the union called marriage from her parents hence they don't have their parents as their role model.

7. Amin (as he fondly calls me) when the baton gets to you, look at the mother of your fiancèe closely because with time she will display those traits you observed in the mother......

Then I asked him what if the lady's father is dead and the mum decided to train her alone?...my uncle said we may also enquire about the untimely death of the father but "Amin that is a topic for another day"......




Topic says single parent but your write up is basically about women(mothers), very biased

6 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Seenyo: 6:36pm On Sep 26, 2016
Quite insightful!
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by timunstopable: 6:37pm On Sep 26, 2016
Rubbish

nonsense

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by cindyrocks(f): 6:37pm On Sep 26, 2016
Tuface Idibia's wife Annie was raised by a single mum and she is still happily married to Tubaba despite his short comings.


Nairaland boys always looking for excuses to hate ladies.

Mind you I am not from a broken home.

5 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by mamaafrik(m): 6:37pm On Sep 26, 2016
Creamish:


Single fathers are there. What is your opinion on them or are u simply biased towards women alone?
one thing about those ones is that they are usually a caring and sound wife material.look around and tell me the statistic of those few you can lay ur hands on.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 6:38pm On Sep 26, 2016
Appareil:
I don't know that Church to compromise on such issues. Thank you
My brother, I was surprised too. If not that I went with the people that met her pastor, I wouldn't have believed it. I can mention her name and even the branch of the church but it's not necessary here

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Oloniyan: 6:39pm On Sep 26, 2016
CuteMorriz:
I am not saying ladies raised by single parents are all bad, you may get lucky finding some exceptional ladies raised by single mums. Evidently you seldom find single men raising a child but it's quite prevalent with the opposite sex.

A relation of mine was dating this lady and when the time came for the union to be made official, his parents advised him to discontinue becos after they had made enquiries and investigation they discovered the lady's mother left her husband many years ago over some frivolous reasons. Then I asked my uncle why did he side with family and not allow his son take the bold step then he said:

1. Women raised by single parent (mother) are usually strong willed hence may end up like their mother.

2. A lady who has seen no need for a father will be swift to end a union because she will have the courage to train her children alone afterall she was raised by a mum.

3. How will she get marital advice from her mum when things are tough and you know ladies often run to their mum when they need advice (remember the mother took the easy way out)

4. Sooner or later my son may become a bachelor again...the odd is high and is glaring..

5. A lady who have spent 21 years of her life without a father cannot be psychologically stable even if she appears to be.

6. Ladies raised by single parents did not experience the beautiful and ugly part of the union called marriage from her parents hence they don't have their parents as their role model.

7. Amin (as he fondly calls me) when the baton gets to you, look at the mother of your fiancèe closely because with time she will display those traits you observed in the mother......

Then I asked him what if the lady's father is dead and the mum decided to train her alone?...my uncle said we may also enquire about the untimely death of the father but "Amin that is a topic for another day"......

@ the op
You wouldn't understand the trauma of those children. Though some of you point are accurate but believe me it takes a strong individual in that circumstance to value parental care or love.
Take mine as an emphasis, I'm scared of getting married not because of the monetary aspects but because I don't know what a parental love is and I don't know how to show such.
My spouse is trying really hard to let me see the bright side of it but hell! How do I show love to her talk less of the kids
How do parents relates
What does it take to have a loving family or what does it take to be a better man
We have been single from inception and it will take lots of work to take our feet of the pedal.
But on the other side we are the most caring and loving people you will ever met cos we don't want our kids to experience what we've been through.
My 2cent

2 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by pippimp(m): 6:39pm On Sep 26, 2016
niggi4life:
90% of my Ex GFs and female friends who were raised by sinlge parent are not yet married and some are over 30yrs.
The 10% who are into relationships or married are usually rude and they are too quick to judge the guys easily.

I am not blaming anyone here, it's just what i have observed.

You must have had hundreds of girlfriends to be able to come to that definitive conclusion. You people think with your asses. It is like saying one should not marry an orphan. I wonder how you guys think?

4 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by kolafolabi(m): 6:39pm On Sep 26, 2016
The topic might be funny but it definitely needs to take serious.

2 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Folksyharry(m): 6:40pm On Sep 26, 2016
OP this title is very wrong. Even though you tried to make it seem like you are not generalising the issue, you actually condemned all ladies raised by single parent. You do not have sufficient data to come to that conclusion.

7 Likes

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