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Her Past Is Too Much For Me - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Please Nairalanders, Is Her Past Forgivable? / Telling Them About Her Past Relationship Keep Driving Them Away- Advise Her. / Guys Can U Marry A Lady That Has Done like 2 Abortion In Her Past Relationship (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by C2H5OH(f): 11:35am On Nov 16, 2009
jay bee:

cut me some slack bro, what's the probability of that ever happening?
Hey, doesn't probability mean there's a likelihood of it happening? Even with a lack of probability, that's not a chance i'm willing to take.
My mind would be unsettled living with a woman like that who is notorious for sleeping around.

We all have pasts and shouldn't be crucified for whatever happened in hay days.
Some have pasts heavier than others, and that's too much for some people to ever have to deal with, nor should they have to deal with those pasts if they don't want to. I mean, isn't that why freedom of choice is a beautiful thing in this scenario?
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by Nobody: 11:36am On Nov 16, 2009
whitelexi:

how can u even blame it on youthful exuberance?  Is she the only one who passed through that youth stage? Imagine oh, to be very gentle, this girl is a harlot at a very tender age!  Dont make excuses for her abeg!

I'm not making excuses for her . . . I'm just not judging her. I cant judge her because I'm not a saint myself, neither are you!

Our sins might not be sexual in nature, but I've realized that there are worse sins. We only worry about what people will think or say forgetting that that should be the least of our problems.
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by countdown2: 11:37am On Nov 16, 2009
Poster, love conquers all, if you are going to leave this lady based on your points given, then you are just sexually connected with her, you dnt love her. If you truly love this lady, you'll be automatically inspired to find a way to get rid of all your speculated thought about coming across people she must have shagged, like moving away from that environment.

Nor be some people dey marry ashawo ni?
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by vicade(m): 11:40am On Nov 16, 2009
countdown2:


Nor be some people dey marry ashawo ni?

Abi o grin. But the Ashawo has to repent first to be sure she no be ashawo again.

http://babaalaye-intel..com/2006/11/ashawo-no-be-work-o-na-lifestyle.html
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by Secretz(f): 11:40am On Nov 16, 2009
@ Poster, I have a problem with the fact that if the idea of marriage didn't come up you would continue to date her. If she has cheated on you it's a different case entirely. She has been good all this while and you have not heard any stories of her whilst you have been dating? Then bury the stories 6 feet under and ride on with your shweetie.  grin
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by jaybee3(m): 11:41am On Nov 16, 2009
^^ dats me gurl wink
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by ruskiee(m): 11:43am On Nov 16, 2009
Do what you gotta do,its up to you to decide if you want her still.
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by Nobody: 11:44am On Nov 16, 2009
C2H5OH:

Thank you my oldest sister.  You have said it all.
There's nothing selfish about getting your rox on with a willing participant.  It takes two to tango.

Ya except that that willing participant could be somebody's wife tomorrow! And you . .  will be somebody's hsuabnd!
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by C2H5OH(f): 11:51am On Nov 16, 2009
And this is relevant because Still a willing participant nonetheless, am I correct?

It's a dog eat dog world. If a nigga's Hot and you open up shop for him, you best believe he's gon' hit it Uju. Homeboy is not going to turn down your pussy because you be Babangida's future wife.
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by Nobody: 12:12pm On Nov 16, 2009
C2H5OH:

And this is relevant because Still a willing participant nonetheless, am I correct?

It's a dog eat dog world. If a nigga's Hot and you open up shop for him, you best believe he's gon' hit it Uju. Homeboy is not going to turn down your womanliness because you be Babangida's future wife.

So if you go around dipping it into any open 'womanliness', what gives you the right to judge
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by Nobody: 12:18pm On Nov 16, 2009
Bloody Hypocrites. At this rate of moral decay your daughters will be victims too.
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by kidsam: 12:25pm On Nov 16, 2009
Stupid boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, after messing up the poor girl, you want to dump her now, i'm sure most of the guys you alledged she may have slept with before were just like you. Why did you not do an underground study on her before you took her to bed. IDIOT
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by debest1(m): 12:38pm On Nov 16, 2009
Poster, while it is your exclusive right to marry anyone you so desire, i have to say u r a "Bloody Hyprocrite"!. Your assertion that she once led a promiscuous life and that she can no longer walk freely in her former neighbourhood, while this may have some validity only goes to prove that you are part of the problem, you were to happy to sleep with her but when the true test of your love for her is called into question you decide to play the fool's game. Noone can force you to marry her but please dont drum up her past as an excuse, everyone has a past, even the next woman you meet will have one,
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by yjay(f): 12:38pm On Nov 16, 2009
@Poster, u need to b certain that ur neighbourhoodwatch or whoever ur source is is accurate cos they are some pple who dont know sh**t abt pple & say all sorts of derogatory things for reasons best known to them, just to run them down i think, If you have been able to prove it and ure still not comfortable with the situation then i dont think anyone has a rite to tell u to be in a relationship u obviously dont want to be in, the authenticity of ur source is more important, it might just turn out to be a LIE,
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by C2H5OH(f): 12:42pm On Nov 16, 2009
Ujujoan:

So if you go around dipping it into any open 'womanliness', what gives you the right to judge
Who's judging? I guess it would make you feel better if I downplay her past history and pretend her sexcapades don't account for much.

Look, I am not judging. Not that she's been wrongly judged anyway. I have stated that the girl has a lot of mileage on her, and the guy should not force himself to continue in a relationship with her since he knows that he can't love her wholeheartedly, because of her controversial past.
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by C2H5OH(f): 12:44pm On Nov 16, 2009
Ujujoan:

So if you go around dipping it into any open 'womanliness', what gives you the right to judge
Besides, it is YOU WOMEN who encourage men to dip it into any open pussy, because you believe it's abominable to end up with an inexperienced man. And the reverse holds true for women. Not so tongue
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by ebila(m): 12:46pm On Nov 16, 2009
@poster,
Asking to know 'bout her past without asking her 'bout it first was a wrong move.Rather,u shud have asked to know her kind of person.We all have dirty pasts,but it doesn't mean we wanna continue living the kinda lives we lived in d past.Make sure u analyze things properly before opting out.Does she still sleep around?Is she da faithful type?Is she such that cannot resist guys?Find such things as those before ballin out.Goodluck man.
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by Nobody: 12:50pm On Nov 16, 2009
C2H5OH:

Who's judging? I guess it would make you feel better if I downplay her past history and pretend her sexcapades don't account for much.

Look, I am not judging. Not that she's been wrongly judged anyway. I have stated that the girl has a lot of mileage on her, and the guy should not force himself to continue in a relationship with her since he knows that he can't love her wholeheartedly, because of her controversial past.

You know what would make me feel better, you NOT excusing the guy for the same mistake you are blaming the girl for. Like you said, it takes two to tango. Why should he point accusing fingers at her when he's probably lived the same lifestlye.

I dont excpect you to downplay her bad history, but I dont expect you to judge her based on that, because there is a big chance that she's a different person now!
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by Nobody: 12:51pm On Nov 16, 2009
C2H5OH:

Besides, it is YOU WOMEN who encourage men to dip it into any open womanliness, because you believe it's abominable to end up with an inexperienced man. And the reverse holds true for women. Not so tongue

Oh please . . . this is sooo lame!
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by smooooooth: 12:55pm On Nov 16, 2009
what a dump excuse. and what makes u think the next one doesnt have a past. i suggest u go to the labour ward and get a fresh born girl child, that doesnt have a past. My guy be a man, we got our past, what matters most is the future. has she done anything to prove to u tha she will cheat on u in future. if this girl is the woman of ur dreams i suggest u seal the relationship and dont dwell on the past. if God was thinking about out past i wonder if u wld have been saved. and if u leave her now, are u not going to add uop as one of the men in her past, bastards like u are the reason she got a past in the first place. GROW SOME BALLS & GIVE HER A FUTURE slowpoke!!!!
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by C2H5OH(f): 12:58pm On Nov 16, 2009
Ujujoan:

You know what would make me feel better, you NOT excusing the guy for the same mistake you are blaming the girl for. Like you said, it takes two to tango. Why should he point accusing fingers at her when he's probably lived the same lifestlye.
I'm afraid I can't do that.  Men and women are held to different societal standards.  You are the biggest proof of this, especially since you have such an insurmountable, unbelievably crazed financial expectation from men.
Understandably, I feel the guy is a hypocrite for my own personal bias, but I won't sit here and knock him for being hesitant to settle down with a known cheapie.


I dont excpect you to downplay her bad history, but I dont expect you to judge her based on that, because there is a big chance that she's a different person now!
We don't know that for sure.  I can even argue that she hasn't changed, evidenced by the fact that she's with this new person too and she's already getting loose with him.  And the herstory continues.
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by kellorah: 12:59pm On Nov 16, 2009
Poster, don't forget no one is perfect, and everyone has a past. It's unfortunate that's the sort of past she had but is that enough for you to end a good relationship?

If you were in her shoes would you feel her reason to dump you is justified?

Anyways, it's up to you. If you want to throw away a good relationship on such grounds then go ahead; whatever makes you happy. But don't forget that a new chick you meet might not have such past but might go on to do what ur current girl did in her future.

I don't agree with you carrying out independent research on the chick. She's not proud of her past and didn't want to share with you. For all you know she has buried the whole thing. You wont be happy if someone carried out an independent research on you, whether or not you had anything to hide. BTW, ur past is something that comes up in a new relationship so how come you guys never talked about it? ? ? Or were you just not satisfied with the replies you got? Anyways, break up with her as gently as you can cos I don't think she deserves to be dumped for such reason.
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by C2H5OH(f): 12:59pm On Nov 16, 2009
Ujujoan:

Oh please . . . this is sooo lame!
I disagree. Speak the truth and it shall set you free.
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by kellorah: 1:01pm On Nov 16, 2009
C2H5OH:

 I can even argue that she hasn't changed, evidenced by the fact that she's with this new person too and she's already getting loose with him.  And the herstory continues.

So cos she sleeps with him the second time they meet she's loose? ? ?
Women don suffer!!
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by kellorah: 1:03pm On Nov 16, 2009
smooooooth:

what a dump excuse. and what makes u think the next one doesnt have a past. i suggest u go to the labour ward and get a fresh born girl child, that doesnt have a past. My guy be a man, we got our past, what matters most is the future. has she done anything to prove to u tha she will cheat on u in future. if this girl is the woman of your dreams i suggest u seal the relationship and dont dwell on the past. if God was thinking about out past i wonder if u wld have been saved. and if u leave her now, are u not going to add uop as one of the men in her past, bastards like u are the reason she got a past in the first place. GROW SOME BALLS & GIVE HER A FUTURE slowpoke!!!!
Hahahahaha. grin grin grin grin

Couldn't agree more with your post, particularly the bits in bold.



,
Dunno why some people sometimes feel they can do better.
They throw love away today and cry for love the next day. Do what makes u happy dude.
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by C2H5OH(f): 1:04pm On Nov 16, 2009
kellorah:

So cos she sleeps with him the second time they meet she's loose? ? ?
Women don suffer!!
I don't partake in silliness.  She's loose for many reasons and that's not one of them.  As I opined before, she doesn't seem like the type that learns from her past mistakes since she's clearly continuing her familiar trend.


Men have suffered more than women here.  Women could arguably be among the most villanous species on earth.
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by Nobody: 1:04pm On Nov 16, 2009
C2H5OH:

I'm afraid I can't do that.  Men and women are held to different societal standards.  You are the biggest proof of this, especially since you have such an insurmountable, unbelievably crazed financial expectation from men.
Understandably, I feel the guy is a hypocrite for my own personal bias, but I won't sit here and knock him for being hesitant to settle down with a known cheapie.
We don't know that for sure.  I can even argue that she hasn't changed, evidenced by the fact that she's with this new person too and she's already getting loose with him.  And the herstory continues.

Men and women have different responsibilitite . . Yours as the HEAD of the home differs from mine as the SUPPORTER. But to have different MORAL standards is just plain hypocritical.

Really, I dont blame him for making his choice. But that dosent stop me from pointing out how selfish it is.

HE said he dated her 8 months and he was happy in the r/ship. I dont think he would be if she was cheating. He said she was okay and all the information he's working with now was from her past, not present! That's all I need to know she's a different person now!
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by C2H5OH(f): 1:10pm On Nov 16, 2009
smooooooth:

what a dump excuse. and what makes u think the next one doesnt have a past. i suggest u go to the labour ward and get a fresh born girl child, that doesnt have a past. My guy be a man, we got our past, what matters most is the future. has she done anything to prove to u tha she will cheat on u in future. if this girl is the woman of your dreams i suggest u seal the relationship and dont dwell on the past. if God was thinking about out past i wonder if u wld have been saved. and if u leave her now, are u not going to add uop as one of the men in her past, bastards like u are the reason she got a past in the first place. GROW SOME BALLS & GIVE HER A FUTURE slowpoke!!!!
This is ridiculous brainwash. A man participates in consensual sex with a woman and decides he can't get married to her because he's incapable of excusing her karrine steffons-like past, and he's being crucified for that? I guess the new rule of thumb should be to force a man into marrying a woman he cannot make peace with.
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by Nobody: 1:16pm On Nov 16, 2009
C2H5OH:

This is ridiculous brainwash. A man participates in consensual sex with a woman and decides he can't get married to her because he's incapable of excusing her karrine steffons-like past, and he's being crucified for that? I guess the new rule of thumb should be to force a man into marrying a woman he cannot make peace with.

Why are you arguing unnecessarily? You dont have to defend him or condemn the girl. Infact you dont have to excuse or support anybody. All you have to do is accept the guy's being judgemental and hypocritical!!
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by OBVIOUS(m): 1:16pm On Nov 16, 2009
@ OP---- Be MATURE about this----- YOU ARE NOT A SAINT.

Do NOT base your decisions about your marriage on what YOU HAVE HEARD about an individual----- people say all sorts of things---- true AND false---- they live in exaggerated realities----

Hearsay will never get you anywhere; if you base your lifetime decisions on what people think, You will NEVER be happy.
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by C2H5OH(f): 1:17pm On Nov 16, 2009
Ujujoan:

Men and women have different responsibilitite . . Yours as the HEAD of the home differs from mine as the SUPPORTER. But to have different MORAL standards is just plain hypocritical.
In your opinion.  If you want to enforce a rule, apply it uniformly.  Quit favoring tradition only in avenues that benefit you.  As they say, you can't eat your cake and have it too.  You are either for egalitarianism or you are against.  One shouldn't lobby for feminism and patriarchy at the same time, it will only cause problems.

With all that said, I'm glad you agree with me about the apparent and inherent differences in standards between males and females.
Re: Her Past Is Too Much For Me by OBVIOUS(m): 1:18pm On Nov 16, 2009
OBVIOUS:

@ OP---- Be MATURE about this----- YOU ARE NOT A SAINT.

Do NOT base your decisions about your marriage on what YOU HAVE HEARD about an individual----- people say all sorts of things---- true AND false---- they live in exaggerated realities----

Hearsay will never get you anywhere; if you base your lifetime decisions on what people think, You will NEVER be happy.

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