C2H5OH:

I don't partake in silliness.  She's loose for many reasons and that's not one of them.  As I opined before, she doesn't seem like the type that learns from her past mistakes since she's clearly continuing her familiar trend.


Men have suffered more than women here.  Women could arguably be among the most villanous species on earth.

You referred to my comment as "silliness" Just cos you don't agree with what I say doesn't mean it is silly.
Whatever dude.
I'm not here to bash anybody.




Men are allowed to have sex on the first date but not women?! So who are these men supposed to be having the sex with?!  
Women are humans too, incase you close-minded people have forgotten.

Poster, she def bleeped more than you and it's understandable why you don't wanna carry on. Do what you gotta do.


Good to see that some mature minds don't agree with the dude's reason for dumping the girl.
You lot with your "probability" are so partial;  only referring to the probability that she hasn't changed. KMT!!

Anyways. . .each to his own. I rest my case.

^^^^ well said kellorah --- if the poster doesn't choose her, she will find ANOTHER MAN who will LOVE her regardless of her past. 

btw, how many people has the POSTER SLEPT WITH ?

Ujujoan:

Why are you arguing unnecessarily? You dont have to defend him or condemn the girl. Infact you dont have to excuse or support anybody. All you have to do is accept the guy's being judgemental and hypocritical!!

Unnecessarily . . . are you kidding me ?Don't you mean persistently and consistently. . . Lol.   I don't need you to tell me what I already know and what I need to do.  I notioned that the guy is a hypocritical fool a long time ago, I'm sure you saw that.  My problem is with you blackballing the dude, for making a difficult decision and for being honest with himself.  However irrational the decision may sound to you, it is a decision that will benefit both him and the girl in the long run.

OBVIOUS:

^^^^ well said kellorah --- if the poster doesn't choose her, she will find ANOTHER MAN who will LOVE her regardless of her past.

btw, how many people has the POSTER SLEPT WITH ?

Lol I wouldn't be shocked if it's upwards of 100
kidding

OBVIOUS:

@ OP---- Be MATURE about this----- YOU ARE NOT A SAINT.

Do NOT base your decisions about your marriage on what YOU HAVE HEARD about an individual----- people say all sorts of things---- true AND false---- they live in exaggerated realities----

Hearsay will never get you anywhere; if you base your lifetime decisions on what people think, You will NEVER be happy.

THANKS BRO. ITS ALL JUST HEARSAY THAT GOT NO ROOT ANYWHERE. I MEAN WHICH GUY WILL GIVE OUT INFO LIKE THAT ABOUT A GIRL THEY'VE SLEPT WITH WHEN THEY KNOW IT BORDERS ON MARRIAGE. ANYONE COMING TO ASK ME SOME DUMP QUESTIONS ABOUT AN EX WILL DEFINATELY NOT GET ANYTHING OUTTA ME.

C2H5OH:

This is ridiculous brainwash. A man participates in consensual sex with a woman and decides he can't get married to her because he's incapable of excusing her karrine steffons-like past, and he's being crucified for that? I guess the new rule of thumb should be to force a man into marrying a woman he cannot make peace with.

WHAT WE SAYING IS EVERY1'S GOT THEIR DIRTY PAST, AND ITS UNFAIR TO USE THAT A YARDSTICK IN DEALING WITH THEM IN FUTURE. THE OP'S GOT HIS OWN PAST, U GOT URS, I'VE GOT MINE TOO, AND WE ARE DEFINASTELY NOT BETTER THAN THE GIR IN QUESTION.

C2H5OH:

Lol I wouldn't be shocked if it's upwards of 100
  kidding

hehehehe------ then why is he complaining about the babe na ? If they both love each other, they should proceed with the wedding. No HUMAN is perfect. Everyone got a thing or two in their closet----

As long as she hasn't

1. Had a child
2. Has had abortion and there is proof her womb is alive and kicking---- 

@ Poster

we men are quite wonderful(Hypocritical atimes,if she is a virgin we will complain that she no fit do) ,

if i was the one i would probably see the good part of the deal,sleeping with many men  may mean she will be good in bed.

And on a serious note guys please "IF YOU KNOW YOU AREN'T READY TO MARRY HER,DONT SLEEP WITH HER" because you may be killing her quietly.

smooooooth:

THANKS BRO. ITS ALL JUST HEARSAY THAT GOT NO ROOT ANYWHERE. I MEAN WHICH GUY WILL GIVE OUT INFO LIKE THAT ABOUT A GIRL THEY'VE SLEPT WITH WHEN THEY KNOW IT BORDERS ON MARRIAGE. ANYONE COMING TO ASK ME SOME DUMP QUESTIONS ABOUT AN EX WILL DEFINATELY NOT GET ANYTHING OUTTA ME.


WHAT WE SAYING IS EVERY1'S GOT THEIR DIRTY PAST, AND ITS UNFAIR TO USE THAT A YARDSTICK IN DEALING WITH THEM IN FUTURE. THE OP'S GOT HIS OWN PAST, U GOT URS, I'VE GOT MINE TOO, AND WE ARE DEFINASTELY NOT BETTER THAN THE GIR IN QUESTION.

Well said---- no need for the all caps though.

If you dump her simply for that past, you may never get close to the happiness you have enjoyed with her again besides God might start taking actions on you based on your past.

Just look at you. You slept with her the very first day and you feel you are not equally guilty. The number of women you might have had rounds with might outnumber hers. In fact for coming to post this at all you are a disgrace too manhood. I'm disappointed and ashamed of the fact that you had the privilege to Identify yourself as a man. Nonsense

Ujujoan and other ladies in the hose. Please ignore the fact that retards like these come to post such nonsense as this.

Unnecessarily . . . are you kidding me ?Don't you mean persistently and consistently. . . Lol.   I don't need you to tell me what I already know and what I need to do.  I notioned that the guy is a hypocritical fool a long time ago, I'm sure you saw that.  My problem is with you blackballing the dude, for making a difficult decision and for being honest with himself.  However irrational the decision may sound to you, it is a decision that will benefit both him and the girl in the long run.

Aint we forgetting the fact that he gave up his right to make such a decision when he started sleeping around too?

Sometimes we dont do things just because we can. Granted he's decision is not worng, that is if you want to look at it objectively. But does he have the luxury of making such a decision? No! Why? Because he's not a saint himself!

This is a clear case of cold feet, irresponsibility and a guy playing a girl. Let's just call it what it is and stop beating around the bush!

kellorah:

You referred to my comment as "silliness" Just cos you don't agree with what I say doesn't mean it is silly.
Whatever dude.
I'm not here to bash anybody.

You misunderstood me.  I expected that.  I found it silly, yes.  I found it silly because you purposefully misdirected a sentence that I didn't say towards me, and after reaching a conclusion based on that statement you expected me to come forward to defend it.
Whatever though.  Bashing doesn't feed me either, sweety.

Men are allowed to have sex on the first date but not women?! So who are these men supposed to be having the sex with?!  
Women are humans too, incase you close-minded people have forgotten.

I don't understand where you are jotting all these inaccurate entries from.  All we've simply implied is that those women who do participate in these activities better be well aware of the resulting consequences it may/may not have on their futures. If that makes us close-minded and you "mature minded" then I hate to be the kind of mature minded irrational persons that you people are.

We're basically saying it is unfair for a girl to be dumped just because she has such past, especially if she's changed.

If you can't accept that, or see reason why we might believe it would be unfair then sorry but your type don't deserve happiness!! Get married to Mary, live a boring perhaps sexless life even, and then go outside and cheat on the likes of the poster's girl (in her past life though) wetin concern me. Just don't be so quick to judge people. . . . .and like they say in 9ja "condition make crayfish bend".

meine:

@ Poster

we men are quite wonderful(Hypocritical atimes,if she is a virgin we will complain that she no fit do) ,

if i was the one i would probably see the good part of the deal,sleeping with many men  may mean she will be good in bed.

And that's not always true.  Naija women are known to be frigid in bed.  He alraedy sampled the girl anyway, so I doubt her sexual prowess is anything superhuman.

And on a serious note guys please "IF YOU KNOW YOU AREN'T READY TO MARRY HER,DONT SLEEP WITH HER" because you may be killing her quietly.

That abstinence protest is not effective and I'm sure many here would disagree with you; even the women.  It's like you're basically telling people to stop having sex unless they're married.  Don't you know that there are people who don't plan on getting married, and are you suggesting that they should never experience the thrill of sex in their lifetime?

How wont they be frigid when they're not comfy sexing the guy cos they're scared he'll only go and tell the whole world tomo.

kellorah:

We're basically saying it is unfair for a girl to be dumped just because she has such past, especially if she's changed.

And I am not saying that I don't respect your opinion, just don't force it down my throat.  Your past molds you into who you are.  If pasts didn't matter you would gladly get married to a repented rapist/molester/murderer and it wouldn't matter to you.  What's good for the gander might be bad for the goose.  You can't force everyone into agreeing with your own standards.  Diversity is the name of the game of life.  Learn that.

If you can't accept that, or see reason why we might believe it would be unfair then sorry but your type don't deserve happiness!! Get married to Mary, live a boring perhaps sexless life even, and then go outside and cheat on the likes of the poster's girl (in her past life though) wetin concern me. Just don't be so quick to judge people. . . . .and like they say in 9ja "condition make crayfish bend".

Your type is too narrow-minded and deluded to think anyone who disagrees with your opinion is undeserving of happiness.  I think that speaks loud volumes about the kind of gross person you are.

kellorah:

How wont they be frigid when they're not comfy sexing the guy cos they're scared he'll only go and tell the whole world tomo.

How does that affect you. Were you a victim of that unfortunate incident in your past years? Lol.
If you are frigid you are frigid, don't make excuses and don't blame the men for your lack of sexual creativity.
"Scared"

OBVIOUS:


hehehehe------ then why is he complaining about the babe na ? If they both love each other, they should proceed with the wedding. No HUMAN is perfect. Everyone got a thing or two in their closet----

As long as she hasn't

1. Had a child
2. Has had abortion and there is proof her womb is alive and kicking----

Oh wow . . . talk about inconsistency.
One second it's "everybody has a past, so don't dump her because of it", next second it's "unless she has a child or has had an abortion"? Your argument is easy to rip to shreds, more specifically because you want us to draw a picket line, and there's no single law suggesting or restricting where that picket line should be drawn.

^^^^ things can't be Black and White----- or soo cut throat as ure making it seem---- everyone has their liimts----- but I won't go out seeking who the wife i plan to marry has phucked because "people say all kind of sh* t both true and false"

Not everyone is blessed to have found their true love at age 19 or 20----- if she's 26 or 27 I should expect her to have dated other people---- I wouldn't concern myself with who she has phucked. Cause i've phucked other people too and if I don't have a baby, I don't expect her too as well and i don't think its fair to father other people's children. Just MY THING.


All im saying is that there are exceptions.

Aint we forgetting the fact that he gave up his right to make such a decision when he started sleeping around too?

Are you kidding me.  An adult lost his freedom of choice because he made a perfectly legal decision to bone a willing girlfriend?  You are trying to poke at straws and it's not working.

Sometimes we dont do things just because we can. Granted he's decision is not worng, that is if you want to look at it objectively. But does he have the luxury of making such a decision? No! Why? Because he's not a saint himself!

I'm a very objective person, what can I say lol.  and the part in bold succintly summarizes my point and i am glad we are both in agreement.  
that should end all arguments. thanks  


Men and women play each other all the time.  This won't be the first nor will it be the last.  Forcing the man to do something he's against is akin to trouble.

^^^^^^btw, you seem very vested in the discussion and somewhat defensive---- you seem to be taking matters to the heart ? is this ur thread ?

You're right, in stating that you CANNOT force anyone to marry you, or anyone else for that matter----- its only cause for trouble.

If the poster doesn't want the girl because of her past, let him leave her to another man who will loves her regardless of her past----- another man's meat is another man's poison.

OBVIOUS:

^^^^ things can't be Black and White----- or soo cut throat as ure making it seem---- everyone has their liimts----- but I won't go out seeking who the wife i plan to marry has phucked because "people say all kind of sh* t both true and false"

Not everyone is blessed to have found their true love at age 19 or 20----- if she's 26 or 27 I should expect her to have dated other people---- I wouldn't concern myself with who she has phucked. Cause i've phucked other people too and if I don't have a baby, I don't expect her too as well and i don't think its fair to father other people's children. Just MY THING.


All im saying is that there are exceptions.

i'm happy for you and your own personal philosophy.  But to be honest with you, that input isn't deterministic of everybody else's philosophy.
You said you don't care about the number of sexual partners your partner has had.   I do, as do many others.  That's just the way it is.

you are saying past doesn't matter if she doesn't have a baby, someone else is saying past doesn't matter at all, etc etc.  you see, that's the beauty of life.

^^^ i imagine that u plan to marry a virgin ? I hope u're a virgin too!

OBVIOUS:

^^^^^^btw, you seem very vested in the discussion and somewhat defensive---- you seem to be taking matters to the heart ? is this your thread ?

Really, does it seem that way.  That's not the case, I just don't quit easily lol.  This has nothing to do with me at all.
It's already 5am here, my black ass should be getting ready for bed.

^^^^^ and where are you located ?

C2H5OH:

And I am not saying that I don't respect your opinion, just don't force it down my throat.  Your past molds you into who you are.  If pasts didn't matter you would gladly get married to a repented rapist/molester/murderer and it wouldn't matter to you.  What's good for the gander might be bad for the goose.  You can't force everyone into agreeing with your own standards.  Diversity is the name of the game of life.  Learn that.
Your type is too narrow-minded and deluded to think anyone who disagrees with your opinion is undeserving of happiness.  I think that speaks loud volumes about the kind of gross person you are.

Nahh, I'm def not forcing you to accept my opinion.

Environment has a hand to play. It's not as if she woke up one morning and decided to Bleep around. You have no idea about her family background, she may come from a broken home, maybe she didn't have any positive role model growing up, etc. I'm not making excuses for her, just pointing out that it can happen to anyone. If you think it's ok for ur cousin's bf, for example, to dump ur cousin because of her past, then cool. I will respect that, even if I don't agree with it.

Marrying a rapist/molester/murderer  would not matter to me because of my past but because of how immoral and sinful it is, and because these people are mentally ill, and can go on to harm me in future. Being loose doesn't mean you're ill, or does it?!

Lol. . . ."kind of gross person". . . .hehehehehe.
I said your type don't deserve happiness because you finally get someone that completes you but then find out about their past and run away; probably leaving behind the only happiness you will ever know.

Again, it's not bout agreeing with my standards, or forcing my opinion down your throat.

Anyways, if the dude loves the chick he will def look past this and get on with the relationship.

C2H5OH:

How does that affect you.  Were you a victim of that unfortunate incident in your past years? Lol.  
If you are frigid you are frigid, don't make excuses and don't blame the men for your lack of sexual creativity.
"Scared"

Oh come on. There are reasons why some people happen to be frigid. . .e.g if they had been raped, if they're not comfortable-which is a good reason I pointed out with some 9ja chicks. And even YOU know it. Don't deny how evil some guys can be. It's not like anyone is born frigid!!



**Commenting on here is making me weak. I'll be praying for u guys **

OBVIOUS:

^^^ i imagine that u plan to marry a virgin ? I hope u're a virgin too!

Ahh!! I like the point u made here.


EXACTLYYY!!!


If u expect to marry a virgin u too better be one, just as if u don't want to get married to someone with a child u shouldn't have one either and then expect her to accept you and your baggage, etc etc!!
You have a past, she has a past. Why then should there be an exception to urs simply because she fcked more than u?! I bet if she had 20 and u had 60 you won't be making a big deal out of it.


So many hypocrites all up in here. It's disgusting.

OBVIOUS:

^^^ i imagine that u plan to marry a virgin ? I hope u're a virgin too!

HAahahaha! I imagine you are just desperately attempting to get me to inject my own personal history into the post, but that's not going to happen.

Even if i was about saying 'i do' on the alter and someone brings an issue like this to my notice and it turns out to be true. . . .  Church agbasala oh!

Her past is seriously messed up. . . 300 guys!!! That has to be some sort of achievement oh

kellorah:

Ahh!! I like the point u made here.

EXACTLYYY!!!

If u expect to marry a virgin u too better be one, just as if u don't want to get married to someone with a child u shouldn't have one either and then expect her to accept you and your baggage, etc etc!!
You have a past, she has a past. Why then should there be an exception to urs simply because she fcked more than u?! I bet if she had 20 and u had 60 you won't be making a big deal out of it.

So many hypocrites all up in here. It's disgusting

Exactly what?  Can't you make your own points without quoting people's posts out of context?  What does virginity have to do with the thread.  If you don't understand how to relay your arguments abeg waka commot.

If you like, Bleep 5.  If persin no wan marry you hin no go marry you.  Quit being a sore loser.

whitelexi:

Even if i was about saying 'i do' on the alter and[i] someone brings an issue like this to my notice and it turns out to be true.[/i] . . .  Church agbasala oh!

Her past is seriously messed up. . .  300 guys!!!  That has to be some sort of achievement oh

How will you know its true ? Do you expect that she confesses at the altar  ?

C2H5OH:

HAahahaha! I imagine you are just desperately attempting to get me to inject my own personal history into the post, but that's not going to happen.

Just curious---- it seems to be a personal matter for you thats all.