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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? (24338 Views)
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Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by allboyz(m): 3:05pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
ijetonia: hey Dearie. . nah u got ma concept wrong. . .its wasn't an issue of ego or any sort but a matter of TRUTH!. . .if you were a Christain. . .read the book of proverbs (the marriage segment - cant rembr the verses ) in all sincerity - men are semi-Gods! |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by violent(m): 3:41pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
When kids grow up, they leave your home to build their own lives, maybe visit once or twice a year But when your body is old and grey, your loving partner is still sitting next to you, and to him you look just as beautiful as the first time u took his breath away Husbands are for ever, kids only come to ensure to continuation of human cycle! |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by otukpo(f): 3:47pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
violent: GOOD! |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by dapsycool(m): 3:49pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
violent: Sense |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by amebono1: 3:51pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
This topic again your mother or father, who will you die for? silly question |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by nkb: 3:54pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
most women love their husbands very dearly, yet the kids come first, its not about neglecting any for the other, a responsible woman will do her due diligence to both her husband and kids respectively, but deep down inside you, the love for the kids comes first. this topic is very sensitive, you need to have gotten married and have made kids before you will be able to really apreciate the topic for what it truly is, think about this, the kids are u, i mean made out of you and by you, but the husband is a stranger that you find compatible, thus decided to spend the rest of ur life with. some women will die for their kids, but am yet to see a woman that is willing to die for her husband, on the contrary, some will leave the man or become difficult and nagging when the going becomes tough for the man 1 Like |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by agathamari(f): 3:58pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
children without question nkb: |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by chelsea4su(f): 4:07pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
men, men ,i wonder why some women are not focus ,you will leave your kid for your husband kai ,your future ,your life ,your flesh for a man ,who can decide one day, that your tenure as ended in his life.as for me ,i will rather choose my future which is my kid. 1 Like |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by FKseun(m): 4:09pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
What I know is that everyone will reap whatever they sow! When we shower so much love on our children and relegate our spouse to the background we tend to forget that the kids have lives of their own. As soon as they get to secondary school, they start craving to be on their own! Once they get into the university it's a different story. They come home less frequently. At some point, we start to realise that we have a spouse that has been hanging on all along. If we are LUCKY, the spouse will still be there yearning for our love otherwise he or she would have found companionship elsewhere! Let us carry our spouse ALONG! |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by yme1(f): 4:10pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
my husband will always come first and my kids will always be my utmost priority in life in other words both of them means the world to me but i think i wil focus more on my husband and make sure the kids get all the love they need |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by amebono1: 4:14pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
chelsea4su: for a man shall live his parents and cling to his wife, both of them shall become one? the man is the head the wife is the neck, if you separate them how will the body stand? The kids will leave you and go start up their family someday, who will grow old with you? who makes love to you, who do you share your fears with, whos shoulders do you lean on, who is the pillar of that home? who made that baby with you? who provides for you and the baby, who gave you a last " name" when other 45 yr old women are still looking for a man to give them the name "MRS" I hope you dont complain, if your husband neglects you and gives your kids the best of all attention, you dont mind if he sleeps in their room every night, and leave you alone in your matrimonial bed? im sure you wont nag It is a two way thingy, both are extremely important, but if you wanna talk about future, think of that man that will stay with you until death do you both part my kids , my husband are my world, they both play their roles in my life |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by violent(m): 4:19pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
chelsea4su: I can be in jand for three years without going home at all, my dad can't stay a week without my mum! In as much as we can't rule out the natural love a mother has for her kids, you must also remember that in an absolute normal scenario, the lady meets the husband first, before the child, and when the latter goes away, the former remains, hence the term "for better for worse". my husband will always come first and my kids will always be my utmost priority in life I owe u dinner ! well said |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by violent(m): 4:26pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
Both. U cant afford to miss either, How do u define useless? |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by DonEse125(f): 4:27pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
Who is that saying i find it shameful to appreciate the comments some people have made and that's why i haven't replied? You don't know jack about me or how i feel about the replies here so quit acting like you do. And for the record,in a life and death situation,i would save my child. Maybe it's because i'm not married yet and i haven't found this invaluable husband everyone's going on about. But i do know i love kids,and i imagine if that kid were mine,the love i'd feel would be a hundred times more intense. And to those saying if you put your kids above your husband he'll feel neglected and cheat on you,here's a piece of news:Model wives get cheated on. All the time. 2 Likes |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by r231(m): 4:28pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
so what happened if you have more than one child plus your husband and you can only save one person are you going to say that i will save dis child cus i knw he/she is better dan d other or what? |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by otukpo(f): 4:32pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
!amebo no1: Neither i, will leave my husband and sleep in my children's room. Oko ati iyawo will always sleep together. The point am trying to make, is that majority of husbands we have in Nigeria are adulterers and don't deserve to be placed above ur kids. Ur kid will remain urs, even if he grows up and builds his own family, he will always know u are his/her mama and be continually be attached to u. But once that crazy husband thinks he is thru with u or get another woman, deletes u from his mind, throws u into his archive box, u are gone in his life. There is nothing i hate like a man who cheats on his wife and 95% of nigerian men are guilty of this. 2 Likes |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by otukpo(f): 4:34pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
y me: U hav not taken a position. as far as i know, every woman will do this. |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by davidif: 4:35pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
otukpo You deserve to remain single the rest of your life. I don't know whether your views come from your bad relationships with men but why don't you go have a child out of wedlock like most akatas who are single mothers since you are not worthy of a husband. And people wonder why some men have extra-marital affairs, its because of women like this, if i was married to you, i would probably have an extramarital affair. Now that's were a lot of women go wrong. . .they focus their whole attention on the kids neglecting their husbands. . .only a woman who's husband wasn't worth it would say she would neglect him and save her kid. . . Thoniaslim Nice one there. You hit the nail right on the head. The bible says that a man should love his wife to the extent that he should be willing to lay down his life for her. How can i lay down my life for a woman who pushes me to the backburner? |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by Nobody: 4:38pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
I'm a man, if I have to save between my wife and kid, I would save my wife without any second thought because we can always make other kids and even if we cant make another one, I'd still save her because we are one. @ poster and all who believe the kids comes first, it's time you re-appraise your relationship. |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by otukpo(f): 4:39pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
davidif: This is rubbish. If u ask my husband, he will tell u that he has a perfect wife, a God-sent, and if there is marriage in heaven, he will still marry me.I like being real. I give the best any wife can give to my husband, but to talk of the kids i brought into this world, my own flesh and blood, that is a different ball game. 1 Like |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by olelle: 4:40pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
As far as I know and understand, as a right or RULE, your husband is supposed to come first. When your kids are grown and married, you have to still live with your husband. He is for life. I say this as the proper thing to do. |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by chelsea4su(f): 4:41pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
still waiting for the real you,cos everyone will still come out in thier tru colour,my child will be my no 1 |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by lannre(m): 4:42pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
Both are important just as you as a wife is important to them. The level of importance now varies depending on the deserves attention . Its now left to the wife to know when and how to share this attention. |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by amebono1: 4:42pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
otukpo why wil u sleep wt ur husband?ofcourse u shud sleep wt ur kids if they insist afterall they come first, do u think kids dont leave and neglect their parents? Go and ask mothers that have agberos, prostitutes and hardened criminals as kids, they wil tel u better |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by otukpo(f): 4:44pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
Thoniaslim Nice one there. You hit the nail right on the head. The bible says that a man should love his wife to the extent that he should be willing to lay down his life for her. How can i lay down my life for a woman who pushes me to the backburner? [quote][/quote] And how many men keep to this. And to tell u that no matter how good or perfect a wife is to her husband, if the husband is the type that will stray, he will stray. |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by amebono1: 4:48pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
otukpo speak for urself, the fact that ur husband cheats on u, does not mean our husbands are like that |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by Undispu3rd(m): 4:52pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
funny how people has bare their minds, though I like all you guys in the house. I notied that the reason for the high rate of divorce in our society today has indirectly reveal it self. If we clearly understand the concept of marriage, are children not optional? What I mean here is that, the man and wife co-existing could still be defined conviniently as a family. If that's correct then I expect any learnt person will definately agree with me that It would be very wrong for ladies to place their children above their husbands. I may not want to be misunderstood. The idea of loving our children (infinitly) appeals to me a great deal. But it is good to do the right thing at the right time |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by davidif: 5:12pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
And how many men keep to this. otukpo, I do appreciate your honesty. Your problem is lack of trust (maybe from your past relationships) and for any relationship to grow you need trust (just like our relationship with God). Who told you a lot of men stray? once again, i am guessing your views are as a result of the bad experiences that you've had with men. Girl, i don't know about you but if you ask me who i would take between my kids and my wife, I WOULD EASILY TAKE MY WIFE. This is rubbish. The bible says that for this purpose shall a man leave his mother and cling to his wife and they shall BECOME ONE FLESH. By the way, you seem to forget who gave you those kids in the first place, if you don't cherish the man, then you probably don't deserve him because you probably just treat the man like a sperm donor. If the guy couldn't have any children, you probably would have divorced him long ago. In case you keep forgetting, do you know how many single naija girls are looking for a husband that they can love with every ounce of there body and you have one and yet you don't even value him that much because you don't make him the number 1 person in your life. This is one of the reason that single women are usually attracted to married men. |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by kokoye(m): 5:21pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
The ladies choosing their kids are those from polygamous or failed marriages. They expect the same from their husbands. Sorry lots. Then they wonder why these men go out to chase other women. Thank God I shall never have to choose. All I have belongs to my wife. |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by davidif: 5:34pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
kokoye: Yes o, its not only all that i have belongs to my wife but me, myself and i. |
Re: Who's More Important In A Marriage? The Husband Or The Kids? by kokoye(m): 5:43pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
davidif: I meant she is my sole beneficiary and I trust her to take care of our children. |
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