0hsisi:

who doesn't like to save money
He sees nothing in it because he'll want to pay less but he still knows that's not our tradition

seriously osisi i cant imagine giving a man money to sponsor or better still marry me, thats wat it sounds like

my parents no go even allow me marry such a dude, i have 3 sisters dat did not sponsor theirs, same with me, why should i? im not desperate ojare

0hsisi:

The parents of the bride can help a young couple out especially if the man is just starting out but that is a modern thing.It's not our culture

osisi the cows we used then, my dad bought it, but i tell you it was like a war before he allowed it, not kidding, he was willing to postpone the whole thing

My dad had to emotionally blackmail him by tell him he was doing it cos im his last child and he wouldnt allow me just go like that, na that one calm am down, the plane tickets we used to go back home, all came from his pocket, it was like a sin to him for me to give a dime

The bride's parents spend their money buying their daughter "ihe eji du ya ulo" (send off gifts)
People buy their daughters cars,gas cookers ,sofa set,and other household stuff as send off gift
they don't sponsor their own daughters wedding unless the girl is an o to n'aka nne

0hsisi:

The bride's parents spend their money buying their daughter "ihe eji du ya ulo" (send off gifts)
People buy their daughters cars,gas cookers ,sofa set,and other household stuff as send off gift
they don't sponsor their own daughters wedding unless the girl is an o to n'aka nne

God bless you jare, the men that take this money from women r men that will allow their wives work full time even when shes 8 months pregnant just to help him pay the house rent

!amebo no1:

osisi the cows we used then, my dad bought it, but i tell you it was like a war before he allowed it, not kidding, he was willing to postpone the whole thing

My dad had to emotionally blackmail him by tell him he was doing it cos im his last child and he wouldnt allow me just go like that, na that one calm am down, the plane tickets we used to go back home, all came from his pocket, it was like a sin to him for me to give a dime

you were already in obodo oyibo before marriage?
me na naija I dey
I jam the man for naija,na him sponsor everything
even the cartons of maltina and gulder they took to my maternal people and grandmothers ezi, he paid for them
no shaking

don't mind these women
A man should prove his manhood jor

0hsisi:

you were already in obodo oyibo before marriage?
me na naija I dey
I jam the man for naija,na him sponsor everything
even the cartons of maltina and gulder they took to my maternal people and grandmothers ezi, he paid for them
no shaking

onye ara , thats a man ojareeeee, i was in my second yr in uni then

osisi if you see the long list wey him get to settle? i swear i cry for am , but shebi him want wife? ofuru i'si na odu ya the umuada lists n co

!amebo no1:

onye ara , thats a man ojareeeee, i was in my second yr in uni then

osisi if you see the long list wey him get to settle? i swear i cry for am , but shebi him want wife? ofuru i'si na odu ya the umuada lists n co

That's why our marriages last
we have little divorce
which man wants to see that list more than once in his lifetime,anytime he remembers the bride price and prospectus they handed him,he'll behave himself

0hsisi:

That's why our marriages last
we have little divorce
which man wants to see that list more than once in his lifetime,anytime he remembers the bride price and prospectus they handed him,he'll behave himself

hahahahahahahahhahahahasha i don dieeeee osisi hapu 'm aka abeg

call me weird but i dont think helping pay in your OWN wedding is desperate
Watched many weddings on tv where (even if rich) both people contribute, i really dont think desperation is an issue.
And a man pays for you like that, you are no more than property (to me)

eh

we are not feminists, and believe our men should be able to take care of us in full, if you call a man showing that he is a man, living up to that name "man" ,flexing his muscles for us to know that he understands that word "man" very well, and proving his manhood like someone said , property? then im fine with it

!amebo no1:

we are not feminists, and believe our men should be able to take care of us in full, if you call a man showing that he is a man, living up to that name "man" ,flexing his muscles for us to know that he understands that word "man" very well, and proving his manhood like someone said , property? then im fine with it

Now this is hot! It's calming to see there are still women outside of the shores of Nigeria who stay genuinely true to their culture and the customs they have established for marriage.




To the ones testing and swarming the waters of the west, you must contribute a sizable to chunk to the union.

@OP, it all depends on the wife you choose, some ladies are difficult to please, very outgoing and have loads of friends. Some women are home makers that will disregard the excitement of the wedding day to plan her home and reap bountifully ever after. Besides that expensive marriage is a destabilizing factor that is not needed, a guy slapped his bride on the trad wedding cause of money.

The marriage proper is more important than the wedding.

All of you here screaming that weddings cost a fortune are not ready to get married.

I started saving for my wedding since i was 10 years old. I dont plan to declare bankruptcy after my wedding at all.

Why do you think Nigerians rarely go for honeymoon after their marriages?? Cos there is no money left after the wedding is done.

He should have steady source of income and suitable accommodation for his new family.
Then he should have enough money to buy the items on the list from the bride's family and for the type of wedding they choose to have!
Where I come from its a taboo for the girl to contribute to the items on the list as they are part of the dowry but I can contribute money to other things.

heh


i know of some dude who had a mindblowing ultra planned wedding matching Thomas pink shirts for all the grooms etc

finaced with postdated checks

the guy lucky say that was like 4 yrs ago - try am now - with the christmas gifts our banks were dishing out to their employees


all this money for an event that is less than 20 minutes total - on top wetin?

and we wonder why nigerians are into quick money

theres some thread in politics some bank worker was engaging in atm fraud to finance his wedding


whats required is a good job - of course  'good job' is a relative term

i dated for five years - as soon as i got my current job, i got married in five months

there is no way my past jobs could have financed the current lifestyle of me, my wife and kids

what i can live on - heck i could subsist on 101 with garri for supper back in the day - is not what one would want one's kids to live on

anyway


the main thing na good job with prospects

when we got married - we were staying in a self contained room - the house was in a truly bad state - no running water , no generator, leakages bad wiring - i didn't even have a car -  most of those issues Thank God - are things of the past now - na by good job. while one can manage in those conditions, is not good for one's kids, esp if one grew up in better conditions

seems the thread should be named how much must one have to be ready for a wedding ? going by the responses


a wedding is for a day - the marriage is (supposed to be) for life - so which one should your resources be geared towards

Why are you guys fighting over a pile? i think it depend on your pocket, AUSTIN JJ OKOCHA spent #30m on his wedding while john chukwundi spent just #30.000 on his own,the important thing is a stable job i mean fix income

I think its important to say it that the type of money you shell out goes a long way to define your character before your wife. Some start to show extravagance quite early in the marriage. These same set of people will start to complain that the wife is spending too freely very soon. Its all about a plan, the same way people plan their buildings, career, business is the same way you plan your marriage, starting from the wedding. Its always better to start lowly, then continue to build up your incomes, then improve your lifestyles as your finance grows. Such way, you will enjoy an easier life with your lovely wife and family after 50 years of marriage. I won't place a good life over satisfying a few friends for a two day event while I have another 50+ years ahead.

Incredible. This thread I considered one of the stupidest on NL in recent times has chalked up an unbelievable 8 pages. What possibly can everybody be talking about and what is the key word drawing all the attention. Marriage? Nansense.

This is clear evidence that NL is undergoing strangulation. Let us have some more of those snazzy topics. Stop banning topics and pple. Now one is left with improperly concieved, undigested and constipating headings. We want a more liberal forum.

now HOLDDDDDDDDD ONNNNNNNN
isn't it the FATHER OF THE BRIDE that is suppose to pay for the wedding

Money no be life oooooooooooo.
That is not to say that u dnt need money to start up ur marriage plan.

The money would surelly come.

As long as you throw in a private jet to take that "our immediate family members" to somewhere exotic like the Maldives, Seychelles, etc to have that low-key wedding, for a fortnight with accommodation in at least a 4* hotel for them and 5* hotel for us, then i'm with you on that and on your side like your loyal obedient wife - we don't need a large wedding - and the millions that we save from not having a massive wedding can be put towards my designer wardrobe which i am gonna need to look good beside you, I am such a considerate wife Tongue Kiss Kiss Kiss

YOU are a very considerate WIFE

H2O2:

Now this is hot! It's calming to see there are still women outside of the shores of Nigeria who stay genuinely true to their culture and the customs they have established for marriage. 




To the ones testing and swarming the waters of the west,  you must contribute a sizable to chunk to the union.

Ive always held my tradition and custom in great honour, in our culture, a man is supposed to take full responsibility of the whole thing, any woman from my tribe that says she must contribute is doing it out of the western ways like you said, and to be isnt truly and really from my side

i am not against women helping their men out when they get married and start living as man and wife, but there is this feeling of joy, you feel protected as a woman,knowing that your husband or man to be is capable i mean able to take care of the expenses single handedly, deep inside your heart, you can walk freely on the street knowing that you married the pillar of a home

I dont want any man, i dont want a man, i want an outstanding man out of millions of men, and that ive got, its like im a feminist contributing to the wedding and soemtimes it makes me feel desperate

Could it be that this men that take money from women are not capable of footing the wedding bills alone? could it be that alot of this men are not men?

Where are the real men for heavens sakes

Since Nigerian society is an extremely materialistic society, I completely understand the pressures of having a 'befitting' wedding - whatever that means! I'm getting married next year n though I've got d financial means to have a high profile wedding, I simply would do something quite simple. I'll only have a traditional marriage -(most important) followed by a lawful validation on paper, on d same venue that I'll have d trad. Wedding.

!amebo no1:

Ive always held my tradition and custom in great honour, in our culture, a man is supposed to take full responsibility of the whole thing, any woman from my tribe that says she must contribute is doing it out of the western ways like you said, and to be isnt truly and really from my side

i am not against women helping their men out when they get married and start living as man and wife, but there is this feeling of joy, you feel protected as a woman,knowing that your husband or man to be is capable i mean able to take care of the expenses single handedly, deep inside your heart, you can walk freely on the street knowing that you married the pillar of a home

I dont want any man, i dont want a man, i want an outstanding man out of millions of men, and that ive got, its like im a feminist contributing to the wedding and soemtimes it makes me feel desperate

Could it be that this men that take money from women are not capable of footing the wedding bills alone? could it be that alot of this men are not men?

Where are the real men for heavens sakes

the same women asking for 'real men' will be the same making noise about equality etal later

modern women - wanting to eat their cake and have it

a real womans palce is the kitchen and after that the bedroom - by most african cultures

una no try ooooO

so una mean sey i no go fit wed with 400k? lol

dem_people:

Since Nigerian society is an extremely materialistic society, I completely understand the pressures of having a 'befitting' wedding - whatever that means! I'm getting married next year n though I've got d financial means to have a high profile wedding, I simply would do something quite simple. I'll only have a traditional marriage -(most important) followed by a lawful validation on paper, on d same venue that I'll have d trad. Wedding.

i really doubt that, if you have the means u will have a high profile wedding or ur parents or bride will have one on ur behalf. it's cool to be moderate but in nig weddings being moderate are still expensive unless u dont really have friends.

i hope d guy i marry has bout 5m minimum in his account and a stable salary.

Sauron, u must be crazy or something,10million jeezs on a wedding , small wonder u are still single

etolaiya ,
babe u sure say u wan marry at all , how much do u hv in ur own account or u intend to be just a liability not a partner to the poor man

oyb:

the same women asking for 'real men' will be the same making noise about equality etal later

modern women - wanting to eat their cake and have it

a real womans palce is the kitchen and after that the bedroom - by most african cultures

@ OYB,

I agree with you on this one. We have had so many threads were NL ladies argue that men must help with chores, equality etc. To now say the men should single-handedly foot wedding bills is like wanting to eat our cake and have it.
If we have to stick to cultures then after the man foot's the wedding bills, the woman should do house chores all alone and her bedroom chores as well without any help from the man.

Where I come from, the bride's family foots the wedding bills for both traditional and White. They do refreshments and all that is needed to satisfy the guests. The groom takes care of the engagement list, outfits, rings, cake and whatever his own family requires( accomodation, extra food, transportation etc).
Nowadays both families come together and agree on what to do.

When a man starts treating his wife like a slave now, people would shout o. How can a single man foot the bill of a whole wedding Even if he is a billionaire, it's not advisable

@ Sauron,
Please ensure you invite me for your wedding o!! I can't miss such, I mean £40,000!! I'll be there life and direct but would you please buy me a nice dress from House of Fraser from your budget?? Because with that amount, it appears you want to clothe the guests and pay for our transportation ( whatever the means)

oyb:

the same women asking for 'real men' will be the same making noise about equality etal later

modern women - wanting to eat their cake and have it

a real womans palce is the kitchen and after that the bedroom - by most african cultures

Im not for that darling thats why i said having a man dat is capable of taking care of you singlehandedly if need be is important

If i as a woman decide to give up my job to be with my kids, who God forbids , is lacking behind, i will give it up, but i wanna know the dude has enough to support us all

I dont believe in 50-50, i am the 80-20 person