DaPuncline:

Dude just cracking a light joke. Don't take it too personal.

Kondomatic:
Apologize for what BRO?

pocohantas:


Honestly I don't understand these young men of this generation. I have seen some foolishly make comments like...if a girl comes and you don't touch her or make a move, she won't come again.

I begin to wonder how many girls they know and which kinda girls they roll with. Just like you said...no wonder they end up with those kind of girls who use intimacy as tools..when they hungrily seek it...

Girls need to be very careful now, extra careful.
Their friends are training them to be sharp guys...

DaPuncline:

Bros i just don't understand, girls are just complicated! I had similar experience with two girls during my NYSC, though i didn't make any move and they came to my place more than three times, but to my surprise, one of them later chat me up after my NYSC and told me I'm a dull guy and couldn't make any move when she was coming to my place: mehn it landed on me like a bomb!

delishpot:


Don't tell me you want to listen to this advice again is it lust or love that is shacking you? If it is lust then take this advice. If it is love abeg, dont agree to be friends o. Keep asking her out and keep being the man you are.
Note.... Women do not like weak men. Don't mistake gentle man for weakman. So don't act like a sissy around her but be firm and just that is what attracts women. Firm and just men who set standards. Imagine Okonkwo of things fall apart minus his anger issues

DaPuncline:

Thanks a million. I really appreciate ur advise. I promise to act accordingly.

DaPuncline:

Bros i just don't understand, girls are just complicated! I had similar experience with two girls during my NYSC, though i didn't make any move and they came to my place more than three times, but to my surprise, one of them later chat me up after my NYSC and told me I'm a dull guy and couldn't make any move when she was coming to my place: mehn it landed on me like a bomb!

delishpot:


Don't tell me you want to listen to this advice again is it lust or love that is shacking you? If it is lust then take this advice. If it is love abeg, dont agree to be friends o. Keep asking her out and keep being the man you are.
Note.... Women do not like weak men. Don't mistake gentle man for weakman. So don't act like a sissy around her but be firm and just that is what attracts women. Firm and just men who set standards. Imagine Okonkwo of things fall apart minus his anger issues

pocohantas:


Honestly I don't understand these young men of this generation. I have seen some foolishly make comments like...if a girl comes and you don't touch her or make a move, she won't come again.

I begin to wonder how many girls they know and which kinda girls they roll with. Just like you said...no wonder they end up with those kind of girls who use intimacy as tools..when they hungrily seek it...

Girls need to be very careful now, extra careful.
Their friends are training them to be sharp guys...

ugwuvictor58:
You can NEVER make one to love u if they don't. For God sake, love is a feeling and once one don't feel such for u ,u have to accept it & move on with life.At the end,u will realise u made the right choice rather than trying to convince her to feel what she don't feel for u.
I recently dealt with such situation.
I met her,the chemistry was like ......oh ! word can't describe it.I finally told her how I felt for her,but she told me she is in a really serious relationship,I noticed it anyway even if she had not told me.It was really tough to come to term with the situation,but I had to,I moved on with life.Did I tell u I weep for missing out on her ? Yes I did !,but that was actually in my room anyway.And I also knew it was hard for her.
She want Friendship,I want relationship.I want to actually BUILD serious relationship with her.Two parallel lines ,as it's being popularly said,can NEVER meet.

DaPuncline:

Bros please help my life naw, don't even know what to tell her when i see her on monday. I was wrongly advised by my friends. I'm a cool guy.

pocohantas:


They don't get it... there is a difference. Later they'll say girls have only sex to over, see this one that seems responsible and focused on her studies...he can't even allow the girl land before pouncing on her...chai!!! This is what happens when you use experience with one to judge others.

I don't think he should keep asking her out. I think it's better they be friends first...some people like to be friends first to understand each other before dating, but the average guy doesn't like this. They want to hit it as soon as possible.

She seems reserved, you don't rush such girls. It's either she needed more time to get comfortable and his desperation has sent her packing or she truly isn't interested. I will go for the former.

delishpot:


Asking her out doesn't mean they are not friends na. Toasted are friends first before they win the game na. I just said he should not agree to the exclusive friend tag
I know what I am saying. He doesn't have to be hitting on her 24/7 but she should know that he is still interested in dating her. If not he go dey do friends and she will meet someone else and bring him to introduce to OP.

DaPuncline:

I know i goffed anyway but i never knew she would feel bad, i could not control myself.

Cholls:
my brother yes u made an ignorant miskake and so fvcking wat! don't try to make it up with her just move on and focus more on yourself development.



Shiit!

Cholls:
my brother yes u made an ignorant miskake and so fvcking wat! don't try to make it up with her just move on and focus more on yourself development.



Shiit!

lovelygurl:


Then go and learn to control yourself

The girl seems intelligent, would have done the same. This is just disgusting. Lack of self control is not cool and no its not what a "normal" guy would do but what those without self control will.

Why try THREE times when she obviously wasn't interested when you tried the first time. Why rush her? You just acted like a desperate man wh*re.

Those kind of "moves" only work with girls who are as desperate as you

sunshineG:
Bro it could be one of three things

1) she may not be ready for a serious relationship now because of her studies. I think you gave one example where she postpone her visit cause she was studying

2) she may not be feeling you but just like you for your nice guy attitude or to chat with. Yep bro friend zone stuff. Some ladies are like that bro

3) maybe she is someone that have been heartbroken before and she will like to study any new guy properly before going into another relationship

It may be one, two or all three of these things

Sadly you cannot do anything about it, if you had a chance with her before, your desperation might have turned her off. So I will advice you to be on your best behavior and play along with her if you truely love her and feel you may stand a chance with her

Otherwise, take her advice and look for some else

Stay blessed

DaPuncline:

Thanks bro. I'll be on my best behavior. Shallom.

RadicallyBlunt:
The seriousness of your write up sef makes me think its one terrible something. Its nothing new na. Guy will like girl but girl wont yield cheaply..that's just d case here.

She enjoys ur company, but making sexual move on her first invitation would definitely piss her off. This one even gentle. Some go come after you don carry them go eatery, dem go still come ur house come drink juice, watch tv and feel at home yet if you make d normal guyish move, na slap upon insult you go collect...some are that rude.

Just like the poster above me said..not to give yourself headaches. Ive resolved to make brothels my regular companion till marriage..its not a matter of irresponsibility at all. Thats one of the places you can find sex with rest of mind.

This sex thing is not enthusiastic for girls like it is for guys and when they eventually have it with you, the lovely calm good girl you know becomes a monster demanding worship and you may never really enjoy her anymore. The wahala is so unworth it abeg. There are call girls everywhere willing to do all styles with you at ease so long you have a little change.

You're not under obligation to follow my footsteps o but it will save you headaches such as this.

DaPuncline:

I'm a cool guy and not desperate, i've never acted that way in my life! i just couldn't control it, was so much carried away with her beauty and calmness coupled with my friend's advise. i simply made a wrong move to a right girl but at the wrong time.

Kondomatic:
Bro, making such attempts on a lady that you honestly want to date is wrong at all levels. We do it to hit and run ladies because there's no us in their tomorrow, not to to someone that you truly desire. You should have waited until she comes again or at least have a lil intimate chat with her prior to her coming to see her reaction.

But the mistake have been made. Find out why she wouldn't date you, it could be that she's in a serious relationship with another man but if she isn't then play cool this time.


It is ok if you apologize but I personally wouldn't. I am nice but not weak.

DaPuncline:

I understand you perfectly. i know there are sometimes we just have to let go of some things that might not be that easy for us to let go. But from my own observation about the girl, i think:

1. she was kind of attracted to me maybe because of my status i wouldn't know.

2. She do come to check on me in my research lab at the end of her lectures.

3. She took the risk of coming to my place even when rain was still drizzling, i guess she wanted some sort of commitment.

4. She reads a lot and doesn't joke with her education and i appreciate her.

5. I think she's a good girl.

So that's why I'm just kind of sober and even wary of her perception towards me.

ugwuvictor58:

I see.From my perspective, u acted too fast.
If she is a kind of girl that's career minded( focuses on her education in these aspect) ,u will come off to her as wanting ONLY sex and nothing more.I think u could still explain things to her and make her know exactly what u have & want with her; Serious relationship.But if she still stands firmly on what she had said earlier, Sir,move on .For ur health sake and self respect,pls and pls,move on.If u persist to FORCE ur love on her,she will HATE u ! and it no going to be funny.
You will find urself begging for love ! And U strongly believe u had meet someone one who is desperate to get something from u ?
How did u see & perceive them ?? I think from that ,u could deduce how important it's for u to move on,I know it's very very tough,that's the ONLY solution when a girl sees u as just a friend.

lovelygurl:


Awww now I feel bad

Sry, maybe you shouldn't try to make another move because she might be thinking otherwise.

I mean just imagine if the case was the other way round. You visit a girl for the first time and she's already all over you.

Just try to prove to her that you care and you are not just interested in kissing etc but also in her, as a person.

Go with the friend thing, but let her know you want to be more than friends, yet you'll wait for her to come around.

In the meantime, show interests in her hobbies, what she likes and just do those romantic kinda thing.

---

Just hope she likes the romantic stuff. If I were her, I might just be looking at you in a "shey this 1 de craze" manner

DaPuncline:
The truth is i have been a little bit down and unable to get a sound sleep since yesterday night.

I met this cool lady like a month ago, what really got me attracted to her was her beauty, calmness, and her carriage. We started talking and i asked her out the following week: she just kept smiling and that was all her response, so since then, she do branch at my laboratory where i do my research work whenever she's done with her lectures. We do have great time gisting and all she's fun to be with it and all my friends like her.


Two weeks after, i invited her to my place and she agreed, though she couldn't meet up the first day she promised to come due to her reading schedule, but she later came the following day even though i thought she might not come that day because rain fell heavily around the time she promised to show up, though the rain later stopped but was still drizzling. I was so happy when her call came in and went to pick her up, i welcomed her to my place warmly and we started talking, she was seated on the chair and i sat on the table facing her, we had a great talking time and we laughed over many things.

As a normal guy i tried to make a "harmless" move to kiss her but she ignored by turning her face sideway with a warm smile, i also played along and told her to feel free. We gisted for a while and i made another attempt but encountered same fate, she later told me she'd soon be leaving because it was late already and rain was already drizzling, i was already lying on my bed and she was still sitting, so i stood up and made the last move which she also ignore with her warm smile. So i escorted her home and when I got back home, she sent a thank you text on my watsapp and we started chatting. I later told her how i find it difficult to read her mind due to her smile and calmness: her response was unexpected, she told me she doesn't know how to say it, that she only want us to be friends with nothing attached, i was so shocked and confused, she said she would advise me to look for someone else, i felt so bad and agitated. I really love her so much, i just don't know what to do to get her back. I asked her whether i've done anything wrong and she said NO. Please i need your help house. I don't Want to lose her at all.

cc: lalasticlala, rocktation, farano.