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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage (36672 Views)
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Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by olowobaba10: 8:10am On Apr 25, 2018 |
EVEN THAT ONE CHILD CAN STILL BE SS. CONFAMA: |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by AloneTK: 8:17am On Apr 25, 2018 |
pandax: I'm glad you added the cost implication. How many people can afford that. I guess you are fortunate to be able to handle the expenses. Let's not forget that these guys (medico) are quick to hide under the umbrella "CHANCE" Even condom sef, dem go tell you say no be 100% assurance. I wont advice anyone not to go ahead with such an arrangement but I will definitely not give my support. For God's sake, let's think about these kids. Out there in Europe where you are, I believe such kids if one is unfortunate to have them would have access to the best health care ever. Not in this our own Naija. Its hell to even consider it. If 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by tunjilana: 8:19am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Firstly there are two options for them and they both require courage and a lot of money No 1. IVF (which can fail and is crazily expensive. genetic diagnosis + IVF could gulp close to 5-6 million for 2 cycles)---I advise they visit a fertility clinic and confirm the cost first No 2. Prenatal diagnosis - Test the pregnancy at 10-12 weeks and abort if SS. This is emotionally draining and considering you are not clear on the number of abortions you will end up doing In summary, this decision is not for the faint hearted or lazy. If your brother embarks on this option and funds become a major issue coupled with a wife who isn't financially ready as well, meeehn that love go evaporate o I advise he goes about to understand the cost(financial and emotionally) of avoiding a sickle cell birth and if it is something they can deal then goodluck else simply find a woman you are compatible with. Regards Regards 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by AloneTK: 8:20am On Apr 25, 2018 |
CONFAMA: My friend, abeg leave percentage o Even if they did not plan to have more than 2 as you suggested and the first one that dropped is an SS, wetin go happen. Limitation is not the solution for me since no guarantee that the child in question will come as a first, second or third child. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by AloneTK: 8:22am On Apr 25, 2018 |
luchee: Well said. Thank you |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by AloneTK: 8:29am On Apr 25, 2018 |
DopeAngel: I responded to the first post but allow me to say this. It is good to be concerned about your brother, not to hate his GF. for goodness sake, your bro is an adult. Why not direct your hatred towards your brother too. What if your brother is the one not willing to let go of her and its not open to you guys. I dont mean to be rude, would do hate her if she was married to your brother and she desired to have sex everyday as against your brother's choice of 2ce a week because you feel it might tell on his health. We are all adults, just like your bro and his GF. Let them be bro. On a lighter mood, if you happen to be a woman and you come be mother-in-law, your daughter in law go hear am o. Just be cool bro and take it easy. You've played your part. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Offpoint: 8:29am On Apr 25, 2018 |
eyinjuege:There's a lot of selfishness here, they understand what they're diving into, but what about the innocent unborn child? |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Jethrolite(m): 8:40am On Apr 25, 2018 |
1Sharon:Hello? |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by pandax: 8:42am On Apr 25, 2018 |
I reside in PH and not abroad. In fact the cost of PGS & IVF has gone down now. There are clinics like Nordica, Bridge and the rest in Nigeria that can comfortably carry out the procedure with their foreign partners. it is doable. I married my wife with my last N1m in my account and I knew that we were not compatible because of our genotype. I love her and was able to do it because we did not tell anyone except my mother-in-law who supported us. Till today, we have not done white wedding as most churches refused wedding us. I told my wife to follow me that God will see us through. Today, I have tens of millions within 2 years of marriage and my healthy triplets are on the way. Maybe, after delivery we will go back and see if churches will wed us. AloneTK: 3 Likes |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Tellemall: 8:44am On Apr 25, 2018 |
CONFAMA: What if that SS child is the first or second child? Looking at it mathematically, that particular 0.25 will occur randomly unless they have full control of other dependent variables such as their gene transmission, which we know they don't. That is a rather high risk to take. Lives shouldn't be gambled on. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Kingson01(m): 8:45am On Apr 25, 2018 |
DopeAngel: i do understand u. bt 2 me i still think d best person u can talk 2, too backoff 4rm d relationship is ur brother not the lady. an minded u am also an SS, so am not one bit in support of d reletionship, if he can afford money for some of the test dat have been listed 2 aviod given birth 2 SS he can go ahead, |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Drabrah(m): 8:49am On Apr 25, 2018 |
DopeAngel: My dear, u're hurting cos of ur ignorance. I wish my ex had parents like urs. I'd av bn d happiest man on earth by now. This is 2018, not 1820. With appropriate medical/reproductive health guidance AS couples can marry without giving birth to sicklers. They shud rather seek expert advice on how to go abt it. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Nobody: 9:03am On Apr 25, 2018 |
OkoYibo:Dear OkoYibo, Of course those test detects abnormalities in utero and there's a 25% chances that AS couple could have SS children, some people are lucky while some are not. Not everyone can afford the expenses of those tests...... . Bdw, if you are a medical practitioner, you should know that insultive languages are not good enough. Have a nice day. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by OkoYibo: 9:06am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Christie06: I'm not a medic but I've removed the offensive words in my initial post. Other points noted, thanks. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Nobody: 9:06am On Apr 25, 2018 |
It's one thing to be ignorant of your genotype before marriage and have one or two children with sickle cell but it is another thing to know and deliberately want to test God. People always forget that work comes before faith,the work here is finding out your genotype before marriage and doing the right thing which is calling off the relationship. It's like wanting to be like Daniel in the Bible by deliberately jumping into the lion's den and expecting not to be eaten. I always feel for folks with AS genotype, imagine falling inlove with someone and later find out your genotypes don't match. Thank God for me and my e-boo, ideyfindwife , nothing can separate us, not even genotype 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by pixypixs(m): 9:07am On Apr 25, 2018 |
MYHUBBY:It is possible,many couples are doing that |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by DeRay98(m): 9:10am On Apr 25, 2018 |
folake4u: You're right. Many churches don't permit or join such couples anymore unless the couple insist at their own risk. You don't tempt God because He does miracles, if God doesn't perform a miracle in your case you can't sue Him to any court. While there are cases of such marriage going to produce healthy children, the risk is too high and every Christian is not on the same level of faith nor grace mates. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by jaxxy(m): 9:12am On Apr 25, 2018 |
DopeAngel: He just needs information and education on the issues involved with Sickle cell and let him weigh his options. The headache, pains and agony of dealing with SS isn't worth such risk bt if at the end of the day after weighing his options chooses to go ahead let him be. It's his life to live not urs. I know a couple in same situation out of 5 kids just 2 where SS. U mention disappointments are pushing him into going ahead. How old is he and hv u helped him with any alternatives. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Nobody: 9:18am On Apr 25, 2018 |
OkoYibo:Thank you. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by MYHUBBY: 9:18am On Apr 25, 2018 |
AloneTK: it's real, those couple are so closed to me. they're both AS and that's the method they use |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by DeRay98(m): 9:19am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Some people stupidly believe that love conquers all, what they fail to release is that love can constrained or strangulated by many force along the journey. One of such forces is health challenges and discomfort it can bring and time and money it can consume. Seeing fire ahead and deliberately running into it because you believe in miracles amount to resting God. Many Christians have shot themselves in the foot for this mentality and they have suffered. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by AloneTK: 9:20am On Apr 25, 2018 |
pandax: Good for you then. Well... congrats why bother going back to the church if you've already attended the Marriage Registry. You know as church things be, dem go begin read useless meaning to the kids you guys already have before coming for church blessings. You are already blessed man Regards |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by DeRay98(m): 9:22am On Apr 25, 2018 |
MYHUBBY: Is that medical service available and affordable to all? Have you considered that, that it worked for someone else is guarantee that all others can do same. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by MYHUBBY: 9:30am On Apr 25, 2018 |
DeRay98: is applicable to all pregnancy in the world either black or Caucasian. you can hypothesize your baby genotype in the pregnancy |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by obi123: 9:31am On Apr 25, 2018 |
i think at this point the poster can just hope for the best as both parties involved are adults and know the implications of their intentions. He does not have the right to stop the marriage only the couple can do that, what is baffling is that the girl should know better as she has a medical background but who knows whats going on in their heads. Having an SS child is tough and if they are unlucky they will soon find out. Adoption is always an option if they are open to that , this way everyone wins |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by ajimega: 9:48am On Apr 25, 2018 |
andergirl:Can you hear your self, even the Bible says do not tempt the Lord your God, he works miracle but still he gave us sense of reason to fill away from afflictions, You know the repercussion of AS marrying another an you want to drag God into it, the trauma is unbearable, the pains kill the woman over and over and over, trust me you can not bear the look on the child's face everytime he or she is needled becos you failed to stop the love you fill now. Prayer works but do not test God out of foolishness. HEALTH IS WEALTH AND ALSO PEACE. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Angelawhite(m): 9:50am On Apr 25, 2018 |
eyinjuege: Would you be happy with your parents if you were born a sickler? This is not about the parents here, it's about the child. I lost my best friend at the age of 18 to sickle cell anemia. The pain was just too much for him. He'd wake up in the night screaming and yelling and begging to die. Would you like your nephew to suffer this just because the couple are adults and it's no business of yours. Something that should be openly criticised in this age of modernity is being encouraged because you serve a living God. Jump in a lake of fire and watch your living God save you. Marry an AS with your AS genotype and watch the living God deliver you |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Xano(m): 9:53am On Apr 25, 2018 |
DopeAngel: i believe I read enough to write this: Marriage is of God. I believe you have never been in a family, or witnessed what it means to be a black sheep in a family. If your elder brother is happy, joyful to marry her, your parents are in full support (giving their blessings), don't ever try to cause it to be dissolved. Because, curses from your elder brother and parents would abound on you. BE WARNED |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Chepos1(m): 9:53am On Apr 25, 2018 |
sacramento1212: If it doesn't matter at that point, why do they always ask of it? |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Essy697: 10:00am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Deltayankeeboi:I ve a friend whose Parent escaped it, his Mum nd Dad are both As they gave birth to four Children of which all are As no SS.It is possible, but I wouldn't advise dm to tk such risk. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Mcy56(f): 10:15am On Apr 25, 2018 |
CONFAMA:Abeg leave story o. I knew of a couple with both genotype AS, the first child was SS. I used the word 'was' because she was no more after much pains and financial drains on the part of the parents. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by IdeyFindWife: 10:25am On Apr 25, 2018 |
frenzyduchess: Mere contact with our blood will restore these feeble humans. My Diva, our essences are divine, beyond mortal corruption as our love transcends Cronus My heart, we are Homo Perfecta, we can only birth gods! 1 Like |
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