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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage (36691 Views)
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Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Jainine(f): 10:34am On Apr 25, 2018 |
AloneTK: you may feel the first option is the only one you can pull off. But there are others out there willing to consider some of those other ones. buttom line knowing what works for you. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by badesco(m): 11:00am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Considering the unpalatable consequences that could result from it, you cannot use force to separate them but prayer. Keep praying for your brother and something good will happen. Wish you luck. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by abimic(m): 11:02am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Firstly, if your brother chooses to marry AS with him AS, is your concern but shouldn't over work you as we've all got our lives to live. Infact, that the Two don't know the emotional, cost, damage ,disgrace and painful implications of their inadvertent and uninspiring adventure is foolhardy, but they're blinded by LOVE, over fondness, fear of living without each other and finding suitors afterwards which are inconsequential when challenges eventually set in. Call your brother, sit him brotherly down believing you both are mature, not telling him to quit his relationship before you're painted a bad name which is needless, explain to him causes of having a child with cancer, effects, cost of treating any, the stress involved, the trauma, pain, restlessness, eventually death in most cases I've seen depending on age which I know he is aware of already but your ability to convince him and paint it differently is key here and don't be quick to not mention the church aspect of been prayerful and a poor chances of escaping it to be 1 of every 40 if he's that lucky, but I'd rather be medical than wait for manna from heaven. Take a time out and speak to the supposed nurse not forcing an idea down her throat but put your thinking cap on like you did to your brother and make the most of the opportunity. A common saying is, how can the living appreciate life when they didn't visit the hospital or the freed appreciating freedom when they didn't visit prison. On your next move, on his birthday, plan to take them out, visit African Cancer Centre in Lagos and see kids living in pains and discomfort with tears, then hopefully that can change them. If they still remain resolute afterwards, just support their union, they've chosen to carry their cross come what May and there should be no pity when it eventually happened, I just pity the lady, as the man can marry a second wife or father a baby outside, like nothing really happened. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Charly68: 11:06am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Tell your brother he is tempting God..if after knowing the truth he still want to do the abominable,he will surely face his music for ignoring the truth. They mistake foolishness for faith..I got two couples who tried that but today they are separated out of frustration..the same faith they claimed couldn't sustain them when the problem started .. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by kingsleybrave(m): 11:16am On Apr 25, 2018 |
WHAT WAS THE GENOTYPE OF THE FIRST PARENT? ARE WE SAYING GOD WAS INPERFECT IN THE UNION? AM NOT JUST UNDERSTANDING! |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by comtem2011: 11:29am On Apr 25, 2018 |
CONFAMA:What if the 2 kids are SS? I know of 2 families that the have 2 kids and the 2 are SS from both families. God has given us the wisdom to choose between evil and good, which means u can choose to be on the right path or the wrong path. Prevention is better than cure, better for them to take the right decision today and not been self centred all in the name of love. They should think about their unborn children, do they want them to suffer health challenges for the rest of their lives? True, there are testimonies but not everyone has that grace. Wisdom is profitable to direct. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by NoToPile: 11:39am On Apr 25, 2018 |
What I find annoying is that the OP is chanelling all his anger to the lady. Why not warn your own bro to stay away from her. You have not right to call her names. She's coming to ruin the life of your bro bla bla bla, is your bro also not trying to ruin his life too. By the way it's their choice you can only advise. I wouldn't advice anyone to do it, their own compatible partner will come. I am AS too, had partners that were AS it was painful but then we all met our own compatible partners later. Mind you we technically didn't even date, that was one of the questions that would determine if we were to take it further. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by buoye1(m): 12:00pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
If i were to be in this situation, I'll go violent and wild... I'll threaten the both of them after talking to them gently and they still insist! I'll make sure life is miserable for her... Don't tell me it is non of my business because my brother is my business! |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by comtem2011: 12:03pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
Haryorbammmy:I am sure u r against abortion. Ask yourself if abortion is Godly. Also, did you consider the emotional trauma the woman will be going through on each evacuation? apart from that, what if she eventually have a damaged womb in the process of flushing out all the time? We need to think of the outcome of our actions before taking acting. Those talking about IVF, can everyone afford it? From the religion aspect: We like testing God too much. True, prayer turns things around, but we shouldn't walk blindly. Yoruba peopla will say "Folorunsho to n fi okun ogede gun ope". 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Blonchilli(m): 12:24pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
ranmoor:You're right. I had a classmate back in secondary school and I didn't know he was a sickle cell patient until he did while we were all in the University. He was a medical student and this boy was so intelligent. People confuse religion with logic. If those kids become sickle cell patients and they find out that their parents foolishly carried on with the marriage despite the warning they'll hate the parents, hate everyone that played a role, hate their live and could commit suicide. Majority of what we're going through today are because of the foolishness of our parents, they saw the signs but went in because of religion belief, this man is about to make the same mistake. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by comtem2011: 12:28pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
OkoYibo:Please sir, this is not just for his brother now but for the general populace going through same situation. The question is: Can everyone afford these tests you listed? That's my own question here. True, u seeked information, u were informed and u have the power finacially to back it up. What of those that don't have the finance to back up their information like you? Should they still go ahead blindly and fall into a pit? |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by hayzed1090: 12:29pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
Pls o house, am AS and my fiancee is AC. Are we good to go? |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Kinggnicole(f): 12:31pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
DopeAngel: mtcheew.... what of your brother that wants to ruin her life? yeye |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by comtem2011: 12:36pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
laudate:I love this. The truth is always bitter. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by eyinjuege: 12:45pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
Angelawhite: What's my business if you decide to worship Satan? Please get off my mention. I wonder what's bringing religion into this. You're talking of age of modernity? Nonsense. You're still behind in the 19th century. At this age of modernity, why should genotype be a prerequisite to marriage? You lost your best friend to sickle cell disease? Boo hoo, cry me a river. I lost a good friend to cancer of the breast. Does it mean that since a lot of cancers are inherited genetically, people with a history of cancers in their families shouldn't marry each other? Please learn to see things outside your closeted mind. Because Your child will not be happy with you if born a sickler? Yen,yen. The child would be happier if never born then. As though we dont have sicklers in the world doing alright, and bringing joys to their families. Young people also die even without being sicklers, so is death supposed to be a scare tactic? Should genetic disorders that can be inherited be a prohibition to marriage? So many diseases have some genetic component to them, even things as common as diabetes, cancers. So people with such family history in their parents shouldnt marry each other? When the wedding day of this couple arrives, you and the OP can carry thugs to disrupt it 3 Likes |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Tony142: 1:05pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
My parents make this BIG mistake, and since my childhood me and my siblings have been suferring for what we did not know about Pls advice him not to do it, cos he will regret it soon, and it will not b funny **talking from experience** |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by comtem2011: 1:30pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
Tony142:Its well with u bro!!!!! 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by JhyMedex: 1:59pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
oceandivee: OP listen to dis advice...Beg ..plead ..wit ur bro mot tp go ahead wit dt marriage...He shld pity d innocent kids his gon bring into dia world 2 suffer 4 a period of mayb 18yrs n die in agony..He shld tink of d financial constraints having a ward wit SS brings..dis myt wreck d luv he rinks he has 4 dis woman ATM.. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Peculariconcept(m): 2:00pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
I actually never wanted to comment of this. But guess i still need to cheap in a little. After my High School, the first company i worked with made it compulsory for all staffs to undergo complete screening at the company chosen hospitals. (I mean well equipped ones). The results was sent to the company directly. Later when employed, a copy was given to me. I saw my blood group & Genotype as AA. Fast forward to about 12 - 15yrs later i was in a serious relationship with this beautiful, well cultured young damsel. We dated for about 3 years. in the cause of dating she has access to all my documents especially the result of the comprehensive check-up i did earlier. Knowing her Genotype to be AS she believe the relationship is save. But about a month to our introduction she started having this mixed feeling. Being a nurse she decided to carry out another check for both of us and she is ready to foot the bills. Alas! my result shows AS as well as hers. We couldn't believe it. She went to 2 more centers for confirmation and the result was same. it becomes an issue, as she started thinking and crying for about 2 weeks. After serious admonishment from her parent and brothers. We took our decision 1. Never to disclose it to anyone aside our immediate families who are aware. 2. knowing fully well what we're venturing into, the possible outcomes, repercussions and way to go. (Are we ready for it?) Today, we're blessed with 2 wonderful kids. (A girl 6yrs (AS) & boy 3yrs(AA)) Sincerely it wasn't a joke neither was it easy. But one thing we did that tend to work for us is asking God to take the wheel. We said, If we're not meant for one another, let the relationship be destroyed before our wedding day. We never for once regret taking this risky decision. I will never ever advice/encourage anyone to take the risk. So bro. All you can do is continue to take to them both, especially the lady because she'll be the one most affected. If possible pray for God intervention to scatter their relationship if it'll bring pains and future agony. Shalom!!! 3 Likes |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Angelawhite(m): 2:16pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
eyinjuege: I find your argument riddled with a lot of fallacies. Smoke igbo because others did Produce a sickler because diabetes check is not a prerequisite for marriage Produce a sickler because young people die of various ailment Pass this advice to your children and children's children because cancer killed your friend |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by eyinjuege: 2:43pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
Angelawhite: You're still not making any sense. Its non of your business if I have a child with sickle cell disease. Non of your business at all, and you should learn to keep your nose where it belongs. If you decide not to marry someone based on their genotype, nobody gives a flying hoot. Its your choice. Same way you should stay on your lane and not carry other people's matter on your head. Meanwhile, it will be interesting to know the fallacies you claim to have found in my statement, just to enlighten anyone reading it |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by WriteousDavid(m): 2:57pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
Ain't a sickler, I found these verses stranded in the mind of a sickler,so I did help let it out.
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Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by laudate: 3:50pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
Cindino20: Guy, I didn't realise we still have such intelligent people like you on NL. May God increase the wisdom He has deposited in your life. Thank you for educating him, my brother. The cost of adopting technologically advanced techniques in healthcare, keeps rising in Nigeria due to the foreign exchange disparity. All the equipment, reagents and other stuff used to carry out PGD, CVS, IVF etc, keeps rising due to the cost of acquiring the right equipment, to carry out these tests and procedures. Today, IVF is about =N=3 million, tomorrow only God knows how much it would be, especially when we do not manufacture any of the inputs used to carry out the procedure, locally. Electricity in many medical centres is in short supply and for many hospitals, the cost of generating their own energy is on the high side, and keeps increasing. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by laudate: 3:54pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
Fhowe:How? Are you aware that most of the things used for these tests, are imported and dependent on availability of foreign exchange? What was the USD rate in the '80s, and how much is it now? In the '80s, what was the cost of a CS operation, and today how much does it cost now? tunjilana: Tellemall: God bless you both for speaking the truth! You have both said it all! Everyone is tossing around that word 'abortion,' as if it is a slang for a new tie or shirt. It is an emotionally draining procedure, for most women. I have a friend in church who had to go through it several years ago, and she still confesses that she has nightmares about the incident and keeps hearing the cries of a child, in her dream. Most of the time she wakes up restless, with a heavy burden of guilt on her mind. A woman would have to harden her conscience, in order to be able to go through that procedure, repeatedly. It takes a toll on them, emotionally! |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by laudate: 4:02pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
pandax: The fact that you are lucky to have tens of millions in your account within 2 years after your marriage, does NOT mean the next man or the next couple who follow your footsteps, would do so. IVF is still not cheap, and is still beyond reach for many people in today's economy. It is best to be practical, and NOT build castles in the sand. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Angelawhite(m): 5:41pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
eyinjuege: It is not my business if it is not your business. But it's my business if it's my brother's business and everyone dying of ignorance or blinded by love and desperation. 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by ranmoor: 6:38pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
hayzed1090: Partner X Partner Y Partner X partner Y AA AA Can Marry AS AS Not to Marry AA AS Can Marry AS SS Not to Marry SS AA Can Marry SS SS Not to Marry AA SC Can Marry AS SC Not to Marry AA AC Can Marry SC SC Not to Marry AA CC Can Marry AS AC Not to Marry AC AC Can Marry AC SC Not to Marry Three major groups of genotype are: AA (Normal); AS (Carrier), SS (Sickler). Others include SC AND CC. red bldThe blood is made of various cells suspended in plasma. The red blood cells are our major focus here since they contain within them hemoglobin, a substance which helps in the transport of oxygen to the tissues. This hemoglobin is composed of 2 parts: a heme and globin (2 pairs of protein chains). There are 2 alpha and 2 beta globin chains – the pair, and there is a way in which the chains ought to be arranged. An error occurs when a protein substitution occurs in any one of these chains – but particularly in the globin chains (amino acids are the building blocks of proteins which make up the globin chains – so if amino acid ‘x’ is the normal, an abnormality occurs when instead of ‘x’ at a particular location along the chain, you have ‘y’.) For: Genotype AA: At position 6 of both globin chains, the amino acid is GLUTAMATE Genotype AS: At position 6 of one globin chain is GLUTAMATE and at position 6 of the second globin chain, you have VALINE Genotype SS: At position 6 of both globin chains, the amino acid is VALINE Genotype AC: At position 6 of one globin chain is GLUTAMATE and at position 6 of the second globin chain, you have LYSINE ABNORMAL Hemoglobinopathy is a genetic disorder caused by abnormal polypeptide chains of hemoglobin. Some of the hemoglobinopathies are: Hemoglobin S: It is found in sickle cell anemia. In this, the alpha chains are normal and beta chains are abnormal. The sickle-cell disease occurs when the sixth amino acid, glutamate, is replaced by valine to change its structure and function. Valine is hydrophobic, causing the hemoglobin to collapse on itself occasionally. When enough hemoglobin collapses on itself the red blood cells become sickle-shaped.230px-Sickle_cell_01 Hemoglobin C: is an abnormal hemoglobin in which substitution of a glutamic acid residue with a lysine residue at the 6th position of the β-globin chain has occurred. It reduces the normal plasticity of host erythrocytes causing a hemoglobinopathy. In those who are heterozygous for the mutation, about 28–44% of total hemoglobin (Hb) is HbC, and no anemia develops. In homozygotes (i.e. CC), nearly all Hb is in the HbC form, resulting in mild hemolytic anemia. People with hemoglobin C (carriers) do not have Hemoglobin C disease or sickle cell disease and cannot develop these diseases later in life. They can pass the trait to their offspring: Individuals who carry the hemoglobin C trait can have a child with Hemoglobin C disease or Hemoglobin SC disease. Hemoglobin C disease IS NOT a form of sickle cell disease. It is present at birth, though some cases may not be diagnosed until adulthood. People with hemoglobin C disease can expect to lead a normal life. page1-800px-Aminoacid_chain_normal_Hb_and_HbE.pdfAmino acid chain normal Hb-Top row and HbE- Bottom row Hemoglobin S-C disease is a hemoglobinopathy (see Hemoglobinopathies) that causes symptoms similar to those of sickle cell disease, but milder. Because 10% of blacks carry the Hb S trait, the heterozygous S-C combination is more common than homozygous Hb C disease. The anemia in Hb S-C disease is milder than the anemia in sickle cell disease; some patients even have normal Hb levels. Most symptoms are those of sickle cell disease, but symptoms are usually less frequent and less severe. However, gross hematuria, retinal hemorrhages, and aseptic necrosis of the femoral head are common. Hb S-C disease is suspected in patients whose clinical features suggest sickle cell disease or whose RBCs demonstrate sickling. Stained blood smears show target cells and a rare sickle cell. Sickling is identified in a sickling preparation, and Hb electrophoresis establishes the diagnosis. Treatment can be similar to that of sickle cell disease but is determined by severity of symptoms.hemoglobin Hemoglobin AC: Hemoglobin C trait results when the gene for hemoglobin C is inherited from one parent and the gene for hemoglobin A from the other. This carrier state does not usually result in health problems, although there may be a slightly low MCV and target cells. Hemoglobin E: Here also the beta chains are abnormal. It is present in people with hemoglobin E disease which is also characterized by mild hemolytic anemia and splenomegaly. Hemoglobin M: It is the abnormal hemoglobin present in the form of methemoglobin. It occurs due to mutation of genes of both in alpha and beta chains resulting in abnormal replacement of amino acids. It is present in babies affected by hemoglobin M disease or blue baby syndrome. It is an inherited disease characterized by methemoglobinemia. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by hayzed1090: 7:47pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
ranmoor: Thanks very much bro. But it's too late for me. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Jethrolite(m): 8:19pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
1Sharon:You can't reply, cat got your tongue? Mannerless, uneducated idiot. You think it is every issue you come online to tell the world you're one stupid, dirty, unkempt LovePeddler who wears okrika and lives in a house lighted by incandescent bulb in 2018. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Nobody: 8:22pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
misreal: Your point being? Have you ever seen a sickler in crisis? Faith - common sense = trouble 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Nobody: 8:27pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
DopeAngel: Do anything within your power to make sure they don't get married. The love they both claim to share will fizzle out in the face of repeated sickle cell crisis. I'm a sickler, and I'll tell you that the pains of sickle cell is hellish. Do anything to save posterity. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Nobody: 8:32pm On Apr 25, 2018 |
eyinjuege: You're right. But then if he doesn't do this and his brother ends up marrying that lady, there's a possibility that they may have a kid or kids with the disease. Can you weigh the amount of guilt he'll feel when he sees his nephew or niece in crisis? Till today, my parents still feel guilty. |
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