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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage (35856 Views)
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Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by blesoh(f): 6:23am On Apr 25, 2018 |
misreal:Bro leave that thing, even in churches they are against it. That's why before marriage they ask the couple to go for a test. The Bible says 'wisdom is profitable to direct ' please leave God out of this cos he has given us wisdom to know what is good or bad. The man should let go cos the consequences after that decision is massive. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by AceVentura: 6:25am On Apr 25, 2018 |
I'm sorry for them. In this case, love doesn't conquer anything |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Vikky014(f): 6:27am On Apr 25, 2018 |
DopeAngel:the fact is ur brother hate himself and his. unborn children. the ss children they will born will end up dying after eating their money |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Evangelistofluv: 6:34am On Apr 25, 2018 |
I beg tell am say if no be God talk to am direct from Heaven without doubt, make em no blame God when LOVE go CLEAR FROM EM EYES O........AS wahala dey vanish love, except em wan adopt kwa |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Coldsteel(m): 6:37am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Just get him a hot replacement |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Jtinaonyi(f): 6:38am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Foolish nigerian youths |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by AFONJAPIG(m): 6:40am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Op village people has blocked your bros eardrums just take him to any celestial church for frogging and cleansing , thank me later |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Chepos1(m): 6:48am On Apr 25, 2018 |
My advice is to wait till the D-Day, then break it out when the minister ask of anybody who kno of any impediment that will make this TWO not to b lawfully joined together. Then come n thank me later. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by thesmallgod(m): 6:52am On Apr 25, 2018 |
By the time the SS wahala start, all of you supporting them will turn your back against them |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by sisisioge: 7:04am On Apr 25, 2018 |
How very sad...biko get SS kids to meet your brother. Let him see how they fare. It is well o. Unless they don't plan on having kids, the marriage should be discouraged. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by pixypixs(m): 7:04am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Sultan5:God bless your wisdom.Furthermore, there are more ways to manage the situation these days,it all depends on the couples financial capability and resiliency (1) Prenatal diagnosis can be done,this simply means testing the foetus after 8weeks of gestation,this will show all abnormalities including life threaten sickness like dawn syndrome, epilepsy,sickle cell etc,if the foetus tested positive of any of these,the best bet is to terminate the pregnancy, however this prenatal test is expensive and the difficulties of D&C is bad,but not as bad as having a SS child.The test is even normal for everyone,even if you're not at the risk of having SS kids,there are other bad diseases that one needs to check for. Another option is(2) IVF -Beta-Thalassaemia and sickle cell anaemia are b-globin chain quantitative and structural disorders that lead to anaemia syndromes. Until recently, like as I explained above,the only alternative for couples with a high genetic risk was to undergo Prenatal Diagnosis followed by termination of an affected pregnancy. The PGD of b-Thalassaemia and sickle cell anaemia is an alternative that avoids therapeutic abortion by diagnosing embryos for b-globin defects before implantation into the mother's womb.However the procedure is expensive.I'll suggest you leave your brother alone,all u are allowed to do is educate them,and if they really want to go through it ,throw Ur support behind them,but rushing to procreate shouldnt be dr target, however they can have healthy children. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by sacramento1212: 7:08am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Chepos1: And then what happens to Traditional Marriage? Will minister announce that one too |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Nobody: 7:10am On Apr 25, 2018 |
@Dopeangel Tell your brother to marry the girl but I will tell you two things. I know a family in my hood with five girls and a boy and only the first daughter being an SS. The second, hmmmmm. I was at the hospital early last year and this pretty woman highlighted from a car carrying her son of about 5 years. The nurses on standby received the boy and in less than two minutes, it was the cry of a pained mother I heard. The boy was gone even before she got to the hospital and that was the first time I witnessed the death of a young child in her mother's hand. Honestly when the times comes, I pray your brother doesn't falls into having that probability of SS which is just a 25% chance but if he does, he will hate the day he met the so called love of his life because of the pain the child will experience. You have done your part and the only thing you can do is pray for them. This is not about religion or love, it's about the well being of their offspring. As regard the first lady, I was very close to the point of being involved with her but the incessant problem of "CRISIS" mostly caused by cold scared me off. She hated me but I don't care. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by isybeke(f): 7:12am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Hmmmmmm,,,, this is disaster waiting to happen 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Cindino20(m): 7:17am On Apr 25, 2018 |
dayooye: I m forced to drop my comment after reading this..it is not my place to tell an adult what to do...to each is own.... my brother have you thought about what you re about to get into and the implications of the advise you re dishing out. thinj about some of the points below. to advise people or to get married when you both are carriers in a country like Nigeria with the very bad state of the health care and bad shape of the economy is actually not a wise decision. Even if the would be couple were to reside in a country with free and more advanced health care system i wont advise them to go on. Do you ve an health insurance plan that covers these treatments? Do you even have an health insurance plan at all? if no will any health i surance take you on with such issues..i doubt cos they aint no fools and are set up to make money..to them you re just a bad client that will be avoided cos your future family will viewed as a client with "pre existing condition" Today you re okay and can afford sampling and IVf...the economy is not risk proof and things can turn in a split second and really go sour especially in Nigeria's case where the economy is highly dependent on oil. if things go south and your economic condition changes, will you be able to afford these treatments? is it not better to avoid them than set up your life to be dependent on such things? I keep hearing sampling the Foetus baby and then do an abortion if the result is not favourable. why in 2018 would any sane person gamble with things they can easily control..The science is there ..preventive medicine is cheaper. why put yourselves through this? I am liberal as it gets but i dont see why someone will set up his life to regularly sample and do an abortion. Abortion should be done when needed and it is not something you should plan to do regularly. the effect of abortion on your would be wife you still dont know...if you were to be the one (the lady) would you regularly subject yourself to such...if the abortion was to be conducted regularly on you will you still go on with this plan? are you also aware that before an abortion..you need counselling because of the emotional implications? have you thought about the effect of the emotional implication of the abortions on your relationship? IVF cost abt 10-15K usd. if you go down this route do you ve the money stashed up already and can you afford this for the number of kids you want. Unless you re an otedola with the Money..this sounds like a no brainer to me man. Adopting seems to be an option..can you deal with that? love is beautiful....dont mess it up..if you really love that girl and you love yourself ..you will take a walk...you dont always get the things you love...sometimes you ve to let go. In all...I wish you the very best going forward! I m starting to think that those pushing the IVF and sampling technicques re people who ve made such mistakes but dont wanna own up to it or medical professionals who stand to benefit from it....smh! @Dopeangel....Talk to your bro once again and if he insists so be it..you cant do much and dont involve outsiders just close friends and immmedialte family. btw you keep hammering on the effect it will have on your family..if after the warning, your bro decides to continue cos he wants to solve a temporal problem with a permanent one...then it should be his problem and not that of your family..it sounds harsh but yes you ve your own life and the mistakes of others in this case one that can be avoided should not have negative effect on your fams happiness...If he is man enough to neglect the science and pull a movie script on you guys then be man enough to also allow him face the consequences of his actions..you cant eat your cake and have it. you ve done well as a brother..maybe a bit too pushy cos you want the best for him. 3 Likes |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by fawaban(m): 7:19am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Leave them my brother. I'm AS nd my wife is also AS.im blessed with three children with any single SS among them.me nd my wife knew nd married with faith in God.Thank you Lord for ur mercy on my family. Support them with prayers ok.nothing is impossible for God to do. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by fr3do(m): 7:22am On Apr 25, 2018 |
A bill making the marriage of two persons that are AS illegal should be passed into law. Do you know the pain sicklers face? |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by manikspears: 7:25am On Apr 25, 2018 |
phemmyfour: Fact bro,the puna** dey sweet am now no worry by the time him pikin begin dey swear for am it go turn sour. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Fhowe: 7:28am On Apr 25, 2018 |
ologun01:Nigerians just like to discourage one another it is even 150k we are no longer in the 80s and with competition it will still come down . |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Jainine(f): 7:31am On Apr 25, 2018 |
DopeAngel: I cant go through any of your post without seeing the hatred you have for this girl. come on. I undswestand its annoying being that she is a nurse but cut her some slack and face your stupid brother they are both old for nothing, if he really think that one god will change it then he must be foolish. Best you can do is talk to them. seat the both of them down and let them know the 4 options they have available to them. First option is totally forget about the marraige. Second is to proceed with it but instead they use a modern IVF technique to eliminate the chance of children having the disease. Third option will be to conceive in the regular way, and then undergo chorionic villus sampling during the pregnancy. The cells are then checked for the disease. Parents may then consider elective pregnancy termination if the foetus is found to be affected by sickle-cell anaemia. Last option will be to adopt. But from you little narration about your brother i believe the 3rd option immoral to his belief, he will also be nonchalant about the second option since he is that way toward the genotype thing in the first place. And i believe the last option will be a wrong one for him too since he cares so much about where his mates are that he isnt, its easy to conclude he will believe his mate have children of their own therefore he wants one of his own too. Which leaves us back to the first option. let them walk away. please if you cant communicate this well with them refer them to my post, proceeding without a plan is a setup for heatbreak. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by MYHUBBY: 7:35am On Apr 25, 2018 |
if I need to answer the AS of a thing, I happened to know couples who are both AS but are married for 5yrs now with three kids how did they do it, they use medical method according to them to verify the genotype of the baby in the pregnancy, when the pregnancy is still in the period of possible abortion, I don't know how true is that. once is ss, they abort the pregnancy and sleep for another one the first was AS and the second was SS which they eliminate if those two lovebirds can't follow a scientific and medical method, let them find their route |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by nnokwa042(m): 7:41am On Apr 25, 2018 |
andergirl:you why not go to sambisa forest and preach to boko haram boys with your prayer they won't harm you |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by adisababa1234: 7:43am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Bros your brother is getting to a danger zone and embarking on a suicide mission warn him and make your stand know against the marriage in family until the night of the wedding if they still decide to marry.I assure you that the love they both profess now will turn to bitterness when they advance in marriage and their kids will not forgive them.Even religious organizations is against it I have many case which they regret now they had never married. It happened to a very close friend of mine and he part way with the girl though was painful but both had got over it as they give their future priority over present enjoyment. Don't mind what people continue warning him day and night forget people that are against you. SS IS THE WORST BAD MARKET THAT COUPLE WILLINGLY BUY TO THEMSELVES. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Andy2274: 7:43am On Apr 25, 2018 |
The problem with Nigerians......Religion. They should pray that God should change AS to AA or pray that they should not give birth to SS abi? When God has already reveal to you. God is not a Magician. Pay the sacrifices once and for all and go your separate ways. Those that are telling your brother to pray are just deceiving him. They too if they are AS should look for AS or SS to marry. Even a real man of God will advice your brother not to go ahead with the marriage. And for those saying it is not this guy's business, when the time to spend money on the kids come you will know that it is his problem. The bible says that christians should pray and work. Oga sit your brother and the lady down talk to them. Let them see the risk because if it happens even your own finance will suffer. Forget all these testimony o. Let the person the his /her AS or SS turn to AA come and tell you himself not " I know one person or one of my brother AS turn to AA". I am a christian but when it comes to issues like this I don't advice people to go ahead because God is not a magician. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Holysholay: 7:43am On Apr 25, 2018 |
i m AS nd my wife is AS. i went ahead with our wedding in 2010. None of our beautiful 2 kids is AS. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Andy2274: 7:46am On Apr 25, 2018 |
fawaban:. Lie! Show us your result |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by AloneTK: 7:59am On Apr 25, 2018 |
DopeAngel: I don't have a response but a short story to tell you. Tell your brother to read and make his choice. I have an uncle (mid 70s now) who got married to an AS genotype woman years before i was born. They had 4 children. 3 SS and 1 AS. The only child with As genotype was their 3rd child. I guess they were so much in love and they never considered the kids their incompatibility was bringing into this world. Right before their very eyes, the 3 SS died ( the one that died the youngest out of the 3 was about 13yrs so you can imagine how much they must have spent in times of crises, not to talk of the pains/agony of the kids and mental torture on their own parts as parents.) After several years of spending heavily on them and witnessing their burials, they had to separate. Scientists would tell you there's a chance, yes there is truly but can they tell you if it would be the 1st, 2nd, 3rd , or two out of three kids. Look here bro, I had a lady many years ago while in the Uni. She was damn pretty and we loved ourselves so much. i am a very highly emotional person but today I thank God I let go of her, one of the things I'm grateful for in my dad who pleaded in tears that I should end it. It was painful bro but today when i see kids suffering from this frequent illness because it won't just come and go, I thank God for myself, not to mention the anger I feel within me directed at the parents who placed their emotions above the well-being of their future kids. Just like I said earlier, tell your bro to make his choice, no one can choose for him. I bet it with you, if he has millions in his accounts, except God ordains him to own multiple houses and other luxuries, he'd end up buying the lands and building the houses in his imagination because SS crises would gulp it all. Tell him the ball is in his court. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Cassie74: 8:03am On Apr 25, 2018 |
ranmoor: Gbam... this is actually the only solution... If the dough is there... they can have healthy babies thru IVF simply |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by AloneTK: 8:06am On Apr 25, 2018 |
MYHUBBY: Hahahaha....my good friend. How verifiable is that? Breaking a relationship built on love is hard. True! But they will surely get over it. That one wey you dey talk, once gbege happen, person wey formulate the medical method wey u dey talk no go show face o....Its safe not to take such risks |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by pandax: 8:07am On Apr 25, 2018 |
My dear, I am As and married AS as well. There is a procedure called PGS ( Pre-Implantation Genetic Screening) to be followed by IVF ( In vitro fertilisation), It could be done in Nigeria with a cost of N5m maximum; though we did ours in Eastern Europe and presently my wife is in her 7th month of pregnancy ( 1AS Boy, 1AA Girl & 1AABoy) Alternatively, if trhe girl is below 28 years they could go for a procedure called CVS( chorionic villus sampling) or another one called 'amniocentesis' to determine the genotype of the foetus within 12 weeks and a D&C could be carried out if unfavourable. God has given us wisdom, use it wisely DopeAngel: |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by missyblissy: 8:08am On Apr 25, 2018 |
DopeAngel: Since you have advice your brothers and he remains adamant, oga just let the sleeping dog lie and watch as things unfold. That love they think will kill them if they split will. Definitely be their downfall. Paying for medical bills from the day the child is born. Bitterness is what I see in their future. They will say there's God and anything can happen.... Fly wey no hear go follow dead body enter grace. Just relax and eat pop corn when things start to unfold. You have done your part 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by AloneTK: 8:10am On Apr 25, 2018 |
Jainine: Nice comment you have there. But I'd say we shouldn't even allow options aside from the first you mentioned. My wife is a medical doc and I remember the first thing she asked me during our courtship (stylishly though) was my genotype. Na dem dey treat these kids but even many of them ain't willing to take chances. |
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