Ziggylady:




Oga as at now,as in 2018...Most married men do not go through any damned stress of providing anything!!!...in Nigeria!!.I have countless real life experiences of married people around me,both colleagues and family members..

99% of the women in the aforementioned marriages contribut at least 60% of the financial burden in the home...I have heard an earful with complaints from them on how their husbands are not bringing in much financially...

They do all the house chores,cook,take care of the kids,work and bring in more money than their husbands.Most married women will not open up to you about the stress they are going through in other to 'cover their husbands unclothedness'..but the mega stress is Real!!!!...And the men very ungrateful and difficult.

oyb:


bullshit. you must be rolling around the wrong kind of men.
we do chores, pay bills,school fees, go to the market/grocery/ take kids to the hospital, take kids to school. . .

omoharry:
Do you think if most women have this kind of guys as husband they will complain?...maybe you are speaking for yourself..but majority of Nigerian husbands do not take such responsibilities,,they are found wanting in these areas and more. Marriage is good for those that love each other and are selfless, kind, considerate and respectful toward each other and what they have.It not to please society or your pastors..alot of people get married because of pressure from parents, church and society.

CAPSLOCKED:



- IT IS OUTDATED.
- IT IS A FAILED INSTITUTION.
- IT DOESN'T GUARANTEE HAPPINESS, PEACE, LONGEVITY, SUCCESS, WEALTH, NOTHING.
- IT IS TERRORISM TO THE MAN'S BANK ACCOUNT.
- IT IS A MEANS FOR SOME PEOPLE TO ACQUIRE PERMANENT HOUSEHELPS, OR PERMANENT PROVIDERS.
- ONLY THE WEAK MINDED SPEND MOST PART OF THEIR LIVES DREAMING ABOUT GETTING MARRIED INSTEAD OF BECOMING USEFUL AND RESPONSIBLE.

akeentech:
But my wife looks more younger than her mates, tho we're separated.

cococandy:
Guys claim marriage is a disadvantage for them.
Yet.... they are on every social medial fighting people who are advising against marriage. Erm confused much? These type of people should be your best allies in eradicating an institution that is so unfair to you. Unless y’all were just being insincere and mouthing off

pocohantas:


She is right, though it isn't about older single ladies and married women. I think it is more about the partner you are married to.
If a woman is married to a man who doesn't help in the home, she has a job to keep, kids to attend to, a husband to sex, in addition to the strain of child-bearing...it is only normal she looks older.

Lots of Nigerian men fit the above description

That said, why are widowers more keen on remarrying?

pocohantas:


She is right, though it isn't about older single ladies and married women. I think it is more about the partner you are married to.
If a woman is married to a man who doesn't help in the home, she has a job to keep, kids to attend to, a husband to sex, in addition to the strain of child-bearing...it is only normal she looks older.

Lots of Nigerian men fit the above description

That said, why are widowers more keen on remarrying?

AreaFada2:

Wrong. It's just easier for widowers to remarry. How many guys want to feed, clothe, shelter and educate maybe 3 or 4 kids of another man in addition his his these days? Very few. So most widows have to settle for whoever is willing, if any at all. Most cannot find a new man of their choice.

Culturally too, a woman cannot just marry too quickly otherwise inlaws might suspect her of bumping off her hubby.

bukatyne:


@bold:

And widows are not.

Shaking tables and causing controversies asides,

We are need to do critical thinking.

Men often complain that women age faster than men especially in marriage hence some advocate for longer age gap between spouses.

Someone comes to out to say marriage is the aging factor and peeps are complaining.

@Widowhood: after the shock of the loss and a little healing, men look for new wives; women concentrate on their kids and lives. (This is just generally)

Could the Ozzy woman be on to something?

AnonyNymous:
It goes both ways. Unmarried men also look and act younger.

Modified**
Going from the responses on this thread I feel like marriage is an outdated, failed institution and is an extreme risk with very low probability of success.

AreaFada2:


Funny thing is it is women who get super excited hearing the word "marriage". Delay more than 6 months after more engagement and say they o not want to be "Lord of the Ring".

Delay proposal and they bemoan men are scared of commitment.

Many want to upload their economy burden on a man.

They want court marriage eyeing a share of a man's wealth already.

Men would happily be single and get them preggy in their own separate home now and then. But they harangue men that they want marriage.

So let's agree that baby mama is the way forward. That would suit men nicely. You bet 99% of men won't agree. If marriage is that bad, women should refuse to marry. Simple.

pocohantas:


Wrong, after tasting the servitude a wife can bring...men are always more keen on having one or more server for life

So, a man can't marry a widow with kids, but he will marry a single lady that will wanna have her own kids in addition to the one his late wife had? Hmmmm!

AreaFada2:


Yes ke. Women agree to marry a widower easily so as to offload burden of looking after kids from another marriage on the man. Men know that and are therefore reluctant. We all know that wicked step mums abound because women go into marriage for own interest mostly, not to look after the man's kids. Step-kids are often seen as an obstacle by the new wife. This is not folklore but reality I have seen many times.

But wicked step-dads are very rare. In fact men pamper step-kids and yet often gets little recognition once the kids grow up. In fact from many I have seen around men, men should refrain from having step-kids if possible. Step-kids treated such men badly despite all witnessing how much such men tried to provide for them. Very sad. I won't like to have step-kids.

pocohantas:


Why won't they be excited? At least they can start receiving the respect society gives to married women. Some are indeed happy to be married to their men.

But na una dey yab babymama pass na. Will everyone allow these women stay single in peace, abi is it to keep calling them evening newspaper/feminist/ashawo...etc

Even the ones wey marry divorce, una no go allow them rest. Chai! Nigerians wahala too much.

AreaFada2:


Yes ke. Women agree to marry a widower easily so as to offload burden of looking after kids from another marriage on the man. Men know that and are therefore reluctant. We all know that wicked step mums abound because women go into marriage for own interest mostly, not to look after the man's kids. Step-kids are often seen as an obstacle by the new wife. This is not folklore but reality I have seen many times.

But wicked step-dads are very rare. In fact men pamper step-kids and yet often gets little recognition once the kids grow up. In fact from many I have seen around men, men should refrain from having step-kids if possible. Step-kids treated such men badly despite all witnessing how much such men tried to provide for them. Very sad. I won't like to have step-kids.

pocohantas:


Of course I agree, lots of these women are looking for men to take care of their financial burden. The ones with money are usually very uninterested in remarrying. They don't mind sexual relationships, but not marriage itself.

Wicked step-dad is rare, abusive step-dad is the common one.
The kids also see their step-mum as an obstacle, especially if they are grown. It is kinda normal, you can't take the place of one's biological parent...except if the parent na complete write-off.

Truth is, lots of Nigerians, male and female go into marriages for selfish reasons. Unlike you men that have refused to agree that some of your brothers are looking for glorified maids and child-popper, [b]I have never disputed the fact that my sisters are seeking a maga ;[/b]D

cococandy:
Guys claim marriage is a disadvantage for them.
Yet.... they are on every social medial fighting people who are advising against marriage. Erm confused much? These type of people should be your best allies in eradicating an institution that is so unfair to you. Unless y’all were just being insincere and mouthing off

Ziggylady:


Oga as at now,as in 2018...Most married men do not go through any damned stress of providing anything!!!...in Nigeria!!.I have countless real life experiences of married people around me,both colleagues and family members..

99% of the women in the aforementioned marriages contribut at least 60% of the financial burden in the home...I have heard an earful with complaints from them on how their husbands are not bringing in much financially...

They do all the house chores,cook,take care of the kids,work and bring in more money than their husbands.Most married women will not open up to you about the stress they are going through in other to 'cover their husbands unclothedness'..but the mega stress is Real!!!!...And the men very ungrateful and difficult.

CAPSLOCKED:




WHAT GOALS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.. LIKE LEARNING MAKEUP TUTORIALS ON YOUTUBE, OR BEING THE PROFESSIONAL CALL GIRL?

Proudgorgeousga:


you are despicable.

a lot YouTube influencers can actually feed you.

SAY NO MORE..
THE VULCANISER AT THIS JUNCTION CAN TAKE CARE OF YOUR NEEDS, AND THAT OF OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR HUNGRY FAMILY.

Lalas247:

She has a point though like liv.ingfree started ... zero responsibilities zero wrinkles
When they are living for themselves what do u expect ... also Naija is a touch climate so can’t blame the wives for looking haggered

This lady preaching is she divorced All these undercover hypocrites ...

SonsOfLiverpool:
the truth is we are all forced to do things one way or the other. We are all selfish whether man or woman.

Personally, I don't like marriage but I know I will have to do it just to please my parents at least and that means an automatic doom for another woman who will surely have different expectation.

The world is stressful for everyone and nobody ever stops to consider what the other person feels what so ever.

Surely you would argue for women because you are one and I would also have that bias.

Thing is, many girls are taking things way too much despite the fact that women face a lot during marriage what happened before marriage? The man takes all the bullsh*t before marriage, no girl wants to cut down on their excesses during dating and when the man endures a lot till marriage what is there to uphold again?

Girls don't marry for love, everyone wants money so why complain when the relationship goes south? Are you saying we men have better lives because we don't grow older quickly?

Why do we have men die earlier than women if their lives are more miserable? When we talk about what we face pre and after marriage you ladies say its normal. You can't eat your cake and have it.

How can I be told to man up, do things for her, make her feel good, buy gifts, propose so what does she do during the dating? and you expect me not to feel like a god?

Everyone is feeling the heat. Take it or leave it.

bukatyne:


Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha

Very funny innit?

Mindfulness:


I have made EXACTLY the same observation.

cococandy:
But this still doesn’t any explain why guys insist marriage is disadvantageous to them, yet they attack every female that comments against marriage.

SonsOfLiverpool:
the Nigerian male is not an hypocrite in that aspect.

But the Nigerian female are. You and I know the females need this marriage even more than a man despite that they won't mention it. Particularly the Nigerian female I don't know whether you live in Pluto.

Same way when they like a guy and won't mention it thereby during silently, So your point is baseless. If you must debate, put your petty guard down and be realistic.

cococandy:
Okay but we are still dancing around the topic question without an answer.

If the Nigerian male is not a hypocrite, then that means they must be telling the truth when they say marriage favors women more right? That means when they say men shouldn’t marry but have babymama’s instead, it makes sense seeing as marriage is disadvantageous to them (men).

Why then do they attack the women who speak against marriage. These women are preaching for the same ultimate goal that they have. Still waiting for my answer. Probably won’t be getting it because you’re trapped now.

LivingFree:

You spot on @bold

She's married with kids but thinks marriage (for women) is overrated and useless in Naija (she right thou... but must she be the one to say it? )

Simple common sense turned into war of the sexes! Single men look younger than married men ... You know nl and keyboard warriors


Hey girl, You went MIA How's the wedding prep going
Quote me elsewhere if this thread is too hot

SonsOfLiverpool:
trapped? No

The male are speaking against it because they need it. Everyone needs a partner . Bitter people like the lady are those that claim don't need a partner even when this person has a husband.

You should know comment sections filled with emotional rants both from males and females so I still stand by my point, the males are not hypothetical in "this aspect" as earlier pointed.

But remember, for every disadvantage, there was or is an hidden advantage. But everyone whines about the disadvantage. This thread proves that men need women but the question is, how many women will accept such even when we all know the lives or well being of an average Naija girl depends on Marriage. That is my point.

When the male says marriage favours women, you should understand that the major issue in Nigeria is financial one, that is the major issue affecting everyone, the female have it easier in that regard.

Poverty has affected the mental capacity of both parties we don't think straight again. Nevertheless, the female are still more hypocritical to their environment which includes accepting like threads as such, the importance of marriage.

Are you not tired of typing