funmisticqueen:
ur self esteem is already insulted once a man cheats trust me

True which is why I would not want it to go on any further.I would just end it and make myself happy, life is too short for me to fight for someone who does not want to be fought for nobody put a gun on him to cheat it was his choice to do so and since he has insulted me by cheating I would never waste my time to stress myself.Life is too short to allow people suck the happiness out of you.

apatheticme:


Because it hasn't worked for you or for someone you know doesn't mean it had not restored many more homes.

How many of these statistics do you have? Where are your facts, evidences, figures?

What research have you carried out on the subject matter or u're just assuming? How many cheating spouses have you interviewed, interacted with?

How many of these options I listed have you done random sampling in a particular population and conclude that they didn't work?

U're not being objective, ur reasoning is clouded by sentiments. When you have facts to counter my points, present them rather than day they don't work. How can you say they don't work? Have you tried any?

Personally I've seen over four Marriages restored back to complete happiness in the church I attend by rigorous counseling, prayers and intervention of church leaders.

So what do you mean by the methods I listed don't work? What about divorce, dt doesn't work too? Why can't the woman decide not to take bullshit, value herself and just take a walk?

Most times, when women leave, history has it that they always do well, raise their children well, and tell man almost always regret his actions later in life and beg to be involved in the children's lives or even in some cases beg to come back to the wife.

I also have evidence on these things I'm saying, if you have facts like I said, present them. I'll be happy to share data, figures, stats with you rather than being criminally inclined because of a cheating spouse!

Peace

first of all, this approach only works for women who don't see the big picture, second women that stay have their reasons for doing so, and we wont judge them, but they risk losing their man's respect and my post remedies that little problem.

Also should they decide to stay, they should be upfront from the start and tell their spouse that they can forgive but never forget which is true, and also tell him that nothing stops him from suffering the consequences of his actions which she would proceed to carry out while being the epitome of a dutiful wife/lover

Go online, it is filled with stories of the approach not working, not every couple is blessed with good family members, while i may not have exact statistics the rising rate of divorce is an indication that your tactics dont work.

So maybe we should try a new approach

AmazonTopaz:


True which is why I would not want it to go on any further.I would just end it and make myself happy, life is too short for me to fight for someone who does not want to be fought for nobody put a gun on him to cheat it was his choice to do so and since he has insulted me by cheating I would never waste my time to stress myself.Life is too short to allow people suck the happiness out of you.

so just walking away is the solution, guess you were never ready for marriage in the first place

funmisticqueen:
so just walking away is the solution, guess you were never ready for marriage in the first place

Yes ooo.
And I am/was ready for the marriage just that infidelity,domestic violence and some other unnecessary gabbage were/is not part of the agreement so if any of these is committed there is a room for divorce.

AmazonTopaz:

Yes ooo.
And I am/was ready for the marriage just that infidelity,domestic violence and some other unnecessary gabbage were/is not part of the agreement so if any of these is committed there is a room for divorce.

domestic violence is another matter entirely but similarities exist. Weak men beat women because they cannot fight back. the question we have to ask is what if women can fight back, what if she was a soldier or boxing champion? would the man beat her?

News Flash

Op is not married!!........................she is one of them single (bittered and frustrated) ladies (who's prolly a feminist too)

@married ladies, listen to her (and destroy your marriage) at your own peril.




Na wah for all these single ladies giving married ladies advice sha........................giving advice ontop something you have not and is yet to experience.....


I repeat,
Listen to them at your own peril!!!


PS: i didnt even read the BS

funmisticqueen:
there is a reason why u entered the marriage in the first place and it is not so that you can easily run out, once the going gets tough, the tough gets going

.

funmisticqueen:
first of all, this approach only works for women who don't see the big picture, second women that stay have their reasons for doing so, and we wont judge them, but they risk losing their man's respect and my post remedies that little problem.

Also should they decide to stay, they should be upfront from the start and tell their spouse that they can forgive but never forget which is true, and also tell him that nothing stops him from suffering the consequences of his actions which she would proceed to carry out while being the epitome of a dutiful wife/lover

Go online, it is filled with stories of the approach not working, not every couple is blessed with good family members, while i may not have exact statistics the rising rate of divorce is an indication that your tactics dont work.

So maybe we should try a new approach

.

funmisticqueen:
domestic violence is another matter entirely but similarities exist. Weak men beat women because they cannot fight back. the question we have to ask is what if women can fight back, what if she was a soldier or boxing champion? would the man beat her?

They cannot na.
How many men can beat Ronda roussey?or even Alicia fox?I ask the alpha resident Nl males.
Domestic violence could be verbal,physical etc and women are guilty of being verbally,psychologically abusive and it should not be encouraged by anyone.

funmisticqueen:
there is a reason why u entered the marriage in the first place and it is not so that you can easily run out, once the going gets tough, the tough gets going

There you go again.

Marriage is not a do or die thing , It either work out or it doesn't. I think the problem with marriages these days is people get married for the wrong reasons and with wrong timing.
Let's be frank, women who go the diabolic or extreme way on cheating husbands are dependent. They dont have a job of their own, a life, they look up to their husband for everything. They think he is all they live for and can't live without him. That's bad. Marriage is a union of two (sane) individuals not a burden and an individual. Don't be too dependent.

Some people rush into Marriage. They believe the traditional steps to marriage is time taking so they scrape out dating and courtship where as these are the times they get to know who and what their potential partners are capable of.

Lastly most Ladies have no tangible impacts in their men's lives. These days ladies just hook up and expect to be cherished. What do you want him to think about when he face temptation? What memory of you can help him hold on? Do you have that thing he wouldn't want to lose you for?

It's time ladies "man up" If you want to be treated like a queen, act like a ruler.

MariaLavina:
There you go again.

Marriage is not a do or die thing , It either work out or it doesn't. I think the problem with marriages these days is people get married for the wrong reasons and with wrong timing.
Let's be frank, women who go the diabolic or extreme way on cheating husbands are dependent. They dont have a job of their own, a life, they look up to their husband for everything. They think he is all they live for and can't live without him. That's bad. Marriage is a union of two (sane) individuals not a burden and an individual. Don't be too dependent.

Some people rush into Marriage. They believe the traditional steps to marriage is time taking so they scrape out dating and courtship where as these are the times they get to know who and what their potential partners are capable of.

Lastly most Ladies have no tangible impacts in their men's lives. These days ladies just hook up and expect to be cherished. What do you

pls stop making generalisations, women don't need to be independent to show that they deserve respect. marriage isnt a do or die affair. Havent you heard of the word compromise. You could always keep an open marriage and still reap benefits.

MariaLavina:
There you go again.

Marriage is not a do or die thing , It either work out or it doesn't. I think the problem with marriages these days is people get married for the wrong reasons and with wrong timing.
Let's be frank, women who go the diabolic or extreme way on cheating husbands are dependent. They dont have a job of their own, a life, they look up to their husband for everything. They think he is all they live for and can't live without him. That's bad. Marriage is a union of two (sane) individuals not a burden and an individual. Don't be too dependent.

Some people rush into Marriage. They believe the traditional steps to marriage is time taking so they scrape out dating and courtship where as these are the times they get to know who and what their potential partners are capable of.

Lastly most Ladies have no tangible impacts in their men's lives. These days ladies just hook up and expect to be cherished. What do you want him to think about when he face temptation? What memory of you can help him hold on? Do you have that thing he wouldn't want to lose you for?

It's time ladies "man up" If you want to be treated like a queen, act like a ruler.

queens need kings too, women dont need to 'man' up, they need to 'woman' up. Women will never be men and vice versa.

it seems that you dont understand the true essence of feminism.

Coming from a spinster...

AmazonTopaz:


They cannot na.
How many men can beat Ronda roussey?or even Alicia fox?I ask the alpha resident Nl males.
Domestic violence could be verbal,physical etc and women are guilty of being verbally,psychologically abusive and it should not be encouraged by anyone.

Yes it goes both ways.

Earthquake1:
Coming from a spinster...

Still bitter and spiteful i see, who wont be with a toothpick prick like yours.

funmisticqueen:
Yes it goes both ways.

Glad we could agree on something,do have a great day.

AmazonTopaz:

Glad we could agree on something,do have a great day.

Yeah you too. The real point of my post is that women should stop being emotiinally conventional. raise your head high and keep your dignity intact.

funmisticqueen:
pls stop making generalisations, women don't need to be independent to show that they deserve respect. marriage isnt a do or die affair. Havent you heard of the word compromise. You could always keep an open marriage and still reap benefits.

You are getting it wrong.

The point is an independent woman has a choice. Lots of choices. She gets to select the best, call the shots, walk out if she wants and of course serve as a helpmate and not a burden. you understand?

I have heard, known and also understand the word " compromise". As a matter of fact it is important in all human relations. But going to the extreme over a man isn't compromise. It is stupidity. You can only compromise when your sanity is intact.

What you called solutions isn't solution. It is just a logical way of saying "Destroy a cheating Husband" . I know if you had your chance you would have suggested 'poisoning him'

funmisticqueen:
Still bitter and spiteful i see, who wont be with a toothpick prick like yours.

In as much as I may not agree with your topic do not let these alpha resident nl males bully you by saying you are bitter and single develop a thick skin and ignore them when necessary the opinions of others should not matter.
Inner peace is priceless and so do not get worked up because of irrelevant people.

funmisticqueen:
Yeah you too. The real point of my post is that women should stop being emotiinally conventional. raise your head high and keep your dignity intact.

When you put it like this I couldn't agree more.

AmazonTopaz:


In as much as I may not agree with your topic do not let these alpha resident nl males bully you by saying you are bitter and single develop a thick skin and ignore them when necessary the opinions of others should not matter.
Inner peace is priceless and so do not get worked up because of irrelevant people.

thanks, nairaland is quite therapeutic for me, it allows me to vent frustration once in a while keeping my BP low in real life,and voice out my most outrageous thoughts. That is why i can quarrel with u now and forget i did on the next topic

MariaLavina:
You are getting it wrong.

The point is an independent woman has a choice. Lots of choices. She gets to select the best, call the shots, walk out if she wants and of course serve as a helpmate and not a burden. you understand?

I have heard, known and also understand the word " compromise". As a matter of fact it is important in all human relations. But going to the extreme over a man isn't compromise. It is stupidity. You can only compromise when your sanity is intact.

What you called solutions isn't solution. It is just a logical way of saying "Destroy a cheating Husband" . I know if you had your chance you would have suggested 'poisoning him'

how is my post extreme. if you think my options are too extreme, i did suggest milder ones. the choices an independent woman has depends on what the woman wants really. does she want to be respected in her own home? absolutely.

My dear go back to your drawing board, your write up is not making any sense atall.

funmisticqueen:
queens need kings too, women dont need to 'man' up, they need to 'woman' up. Women will never be men and vice versa.

it seems that you dont understand the true essence of feminism.

.

funmisticqueen:
queens need kings too, women dont need to 'man' up, they need to 'woman' up. Women will never be men and vice versa.

it seems that you dont understand the true essence of feminism.

Sigh...
not 'man up' in its literal meaning, what feminist ( that you claim to be) does not understand that 'man up' in this context means 'self development'. I mean women should work on themselves. To stop being a princess in distress.


Feminism? Really? So sending swindlers to ruin a man, aborting another's woman's baby, going diabolical is Feminism? You should be ashamed of yourself!

It's official Romance section Feminists are bunch of jokers!

funmisticqueen:
how is my post extreme. if you think my options are too extreme, i did suggest milder ones. the choices an independent woman has depends on what the woman wants really. does she want to be respected in her own home? absolutely.

You win.

MariaLavina:
You win.

darling, this was never a war. i loved reading your opinion though.

MariaLavina:
Sigh...
not 'man up' in its literal meaning, what feminist ( that you claim to be) does not understand that 'man up' in this context means 'self development'. I mean women should work on themselves. To stop being a princess in distress.


Feminism? Really? So sending swindlers to ruin a man, aborting another's woman's baby, going diabolical is Feminism? You should be ashamed of yourself!

It's official Romance section Feminists are bunch of jokers!

while i believe women deserve equal opportunites as men, i am no feminist. i believe i made a post about that some years ago. i will always advocate to act in your best interest first but try and elevate other people too.

Yankee0071:
My dear go back to your drawing board, your write up is not making any sense atall.

my audience see the sense in it, after some clarifications, sadly you are not in that category.

funmisticqueen:
darling, this was never a war. i loved reading your opinion though.

Thank you, just that I find it difficult to converse with people who aren't objective.

It's like you have made up your mind about this topic. Every suggestions seem illogical. I like people with open minds in discussion, I hardly argue.

apatheticme:


Seeing the big picture starts with placing value on your self in the first instance. Since you so much claim that they've lost respect of their husbands then why hang around a place u're not respected?

U're countering urself with ur arguments. So solution to seeking self respect or getting it back in any case is to take the law into ur hands abi? I smh at ur reasoning faculty. The internet is also filled with stories of people who in the past have had thought processes like yours and ended up in jail.

Self respect is calling his friends and family to intervene. Shows u respect urself, the husband and your children. Shows you are a virtuous woman. But when you become criminal, it's just unthinkable.

The greatest self respect on earth is to be a higher being and walk away from where you are not wanted, from where you've been disrespected. May God grant you the wisdom to comprehend.

Marriage is not by force. What if the man dies when ur hired thugs are trying to get his money, u think they won't trace it back to u? U land in jail, what's the fate of the children?

My dear, it's ur own post that sounds like the script of a nollywood movie where a bitter and enraged housewife will hire thugs, poison the side chick or go diabolical. They always end horribly! If everyone were to follow ur logic, the whole world would go haywire.

Peace

no self respect in your post at all, my post shows how a woman can gain her self respect back not by showing she can walk away but showing that cheating on her has consequences he is not prepared for and also she is not the kind of person who can tolerate such.