₦airaland Forum

eni4real:
This is no longer a Marriage!!

The patching is too much.

Sadly, you would be shocked at the number of homes living like this.

Temhellen:
Read the word of God

This one off me.

After telling us to read the word of God premaritally, we continue to do so after marriage?
Why then get married?

fairfora:
It's really not an easy thing especially if you're a public figure who sees people or customers all the time. Today Abuja tomorrow owerri and another day New York or Ontario. This is only possible with one thing...self discipline. I've never seen pretty babes like those in America and Nigeria is next. As a married man, it's not been easy taking eyes off them but if you can discipline yourself, you could overcome this. If you're feeling Hot and home seem far away, open your tab or phone and read a few words of God and pray. At times, I do vigil in my hotel room while I'd be hearing some echoes from other rooms in the dead hours of the night with serious screaming.

When you read the word of God and pray, you'd not know when such evil thoughts would disappear. This is a serious issue nowadays. While at home, your wife would provoke you, she'd nag and you'd feel like looking outside. Without discipline, you can't overcome the temptation. Any married man who says it's not an issue is lying. This method has helped me a lot...my opinion

Thank you sir.

eni4real:
He needs to out his family together!
Bedding prostitutes is lame!

Does he really have much of a choice?

1. He could stay true to the wife and forget about sex.

2. He could start an affair, but that nearly cost him his marriage previously.

3. Ashawo. A kind of compromise between the two, has an active sex life, he is completely available to the wife and family. Anyway there's a serious health threat attached to this.

jaxxy:
U can’t handle one woman’s wahala u want to carry 3 women? Asin marry them? Do u like ur self at all?

Concubines wud be better bt it’s also wrong and has its own issues.

Op u plan on never cheating on ur wife bt u spend ur time at ashawao beer palour doing what? Watch premiership. Keep day dreaming.

This is a phase that I believe that I would pass through with time.
I don't really have the time or the zeal for a relationship now, there are things I have to accomplish and I can't add relationship drama to my very tight schedule.

Meanwhile, man must nak, and since I have the money, na to dey nak dey go.
When it's time to build a life with a woman, I will try my best to stop this.

eni4real:
. Are you saying the man is an Ashawo?? What is 'Ashawo lifestyle'

The man is just a failed husband who will give her wife herpes in the Future!!

He is a Hypocrite!!!

I was also bordered about the health implications, but the man in his words have been like that for more than 10 years.

TheRedpillguy:
Not blaming the wife here ok. Is that or be a slave.

Why the fvck is the man not chasing away the woman or marrying another one. At least that's what I ll do.

He spoke highly of her, in his words, the wife is a "good" woman. I don't think he ever wants to part ways with her.
He even said he will not keep a relationship with any lady again, reason he choose the ashawo life.

grandstar:
4ckz

The True God is a God of Justice (Deutoronomy 32:4)

Will the true God make man and woman sexually incompatible? ((Genesis 18:25)

So what's the problem? This sex deprivation by wives is quite high in Nigeria. It is not high in Europe for instance. It's rarely mentioned in magazine, tabloids or blogs when the issue of marital friction occurs.

In Nigeria, it might be high due to the issue of female circumcision. This either reduces the urge for sex or makes it laborious and a chore. Women therefore do not have enough libido to match their husband's.

At times, it's the man's fault. Many men praise circumcision saying uncircumcised women can never be sexually satisfied but are now paying the price of a low wifey libido.

It is wise therefore to confirm if your wife is circumcised or not to begin with.

I can't say for the man though, but from my discussion, I don't think circumcision was the issue.

The issue is that the wife's libido dropped and the man had no idea why or how to get things back as they were, till things spiralled into making him a probably life long ashawo patronizer.

CanadaOrBust:
Of course it is. Do u realize how much constant cumming depletes a man??

Yes, you will loose so much energy, and your days would be full of laxity.

I have experienced this after having some marathon sessions through the night, it was rapidly followed by few days of unproductivity.

millionboi:
Hmmm

I had u say 3times a week,u will likely xperience d man's life xperience.

My neighbor own,him dey aboundon him wife and children go another city after flexin him go land.

Why am I having so hard at this.

@ the bolded, do you mean that 3 times is too much?

CanadaOrBust:
Some people actually experience the opposite - once married she wants sex all the time!

Now that's something. Could still be a great deal of problem though.

awumen:
i must confess that it is rampant this days, talk alot married men and the story is same over 70% of men are telling you same tales and this are men who are above average financially and takes very good care of their family.the woman was a beast In bed during courtship but suddenly the man is begging for sex now, the same action they used in getting "hold" of you is the same action that has turn to a weapon to weaken you

Deep

AmazingELixir:



What is with men and sex anyways...me that can forget there's something called sex for months..

It's either that you haven't reached the age, your libido is abnormally low, you are lieing to us or you haven't become really active sexually.

Mattsilva:
my case exactly....

Sorry bro.

How are you coping though?

Emmanuelcann:
Didn't say it's right, only that it's a fact of life. I don't support it, but that changes nothing!

Now I get you.

But just to be sure, the fact of life is "sex is used as a bargaining chip in marriage, and a "good" husband is expected not to ever find it outside no matter the deprivation?"

0rion:
THERE IS BIG LESSON FOR YOU TO LEARN FROM THAT NAUGHTY DISCUSSION.

MY ADVICE FOR YOU IS TO START OPENING DISCUSS SEX WITH YOUR FUTURE WIFE. THIS IS TO KNOW ABOUT HER SEX LIFE. IF SHES A VIRGIN DEFINITELY NOT GONNA HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE.

BUT ALWAYS ASK HER WHAT SHE LIKES TO DO AND TO BE DONE TO HER. DONT LET HER BE SHY. MAKE IT A SERIOUS DISCUSSION IF YOU DONT WANT TO CHEAT ON HER.

WE MEN JUST ALWAYS LIKE TO GO IN AND OUT . WOWEN ARE NOT LIKE THAT. EXCEPT ASHAWO

Another sensible comment

fashionale:
That's what I calculated bro, I jakpa.
It was too early for that. And her own was you wouldn't even touch her skin let alone breast

So if you are hot and she's not interested, you are expected to drink water and sleep?

Munzy14:
Men that think about this cheating matter, are usually the ones that end up cheating....


Marriage no easy o, u can't stay a month without sex fine, so when she gives birth and need that time to heal, u will be entering her yoni abii? I laugh at u.

Bro, I have said it countless times, cheating is a choice. As far as u are well to do guy, the temptation and opportunity will come. It's left for u to decide.

As for women, bedroom power must come in when she needs that thing u are telling her no money for months. ..

It's their right u can't sidestep it.

Above all it's understanding.. After all sex must not involve penetration All the time na.

First of all, I think you misunderstood me. The 1 month I said doesn't include what you said, or when she's sick, those kind of serious conditions.

I mean, 1 month off because she doesn't feel like.


@ the bolded, I find a great fault with what you said.
So having sex with your husband is your right as a wife and the you decide when or on what conditions to do it?

I can't even begin to try and understand that mentality. But, if what you said is what a marriage entails, then maybe it's not worth it getting married at the first place.

Emmanuelcann:
Sex as a weapon and bargaining chip, it's inevitable! Do you expect that things will always be smooth and rosy in a marriage? No? So do you expect that a woman will be happy to engage in love making with a husband who has offended her one way or another?
Marriage for a man is a time to learn that you can't always have what you want - unless you are a polygamist. Learn self control!

You think it's right that sex is a weapon and bargaining cheap in marriage?

My own is, I will never beg my wife for sex, impossible!
Once she starts it, I would let her be, but what comes after it, I will never feel guilty of.

fashionale:
Sex deprivation was the main reason I ran away from my ex fiancé, she always used it against me whenever we had a little issue that's even not insignificant. My wife doesn't used it against me and I'm happy with my marriage.
Dear ladies, stop using it against your husband's, it can only drive them away than bringing them to you.
My 2cents

She wasn't wifed yet, and she was already acting up?

What if you married her?

lefulefu:
then that means she is having active sex somewhere..probably with an ex.there"s no smoke without fire.

There is sense in this

Funkyswagzz:
Look b4 u leap my friend before u say I made a mistake getting married to her.. there are loads of women out there who are willing to give u sex anytime any day as far u keep her happy. Don't mind that guy he is the one who put himself in that mess.

Some people had this mindset, got married yet faced the same problem.
Don't you know that most women do not deprive their guys of sex during courtship, yet the same women change after marriage.

thesicilian:
If I start to talk, we won't leave here today.

Talk na

I will really need the input of married men and women on this thread.

So yesterday at the bar, you know, ashawo bar, I sat in the same table with a married man, looked early 40's to me. He got drunk and got all chit chat with me.

He told me that he actually picked up ashawo life style after marriage, told me his wife always used sex as a bargaining chip early in their marriage, and often looked for the slightest reason not to have sex.

He said his first time cheating was after his first child, that his wife refused his touch for more than 3 months, he got to cheat with one of his colleagues at work (lest I forget, the man is well learned and rich too, I could get this from his fluency in English and his car).

The affair almost cost him his marriage. When mata cast, everyone blamed him, but he couldn't tell them how his wife deprived him of sex. He was later forgiven by the wife and the marriage continued.

According to him, before long the wife went back to her style of sexual deprivation, was only active when they wanted children. He did mention that he doesn't think the wife cheated, he has monitored her, and as far as he could tell, the wife was an always at home type of woman, and according to him was a good woman apart from the sex thing.

Before long he went back to cheating again, and that was when he started ashawo life style, he choose not to have a relationship with anyone again because of the threat it posed to his marriage.

He said he is sure his wife knows of his ashawo life style, but never talked about it for the sake of peace, and he has been living like that for more than 10 yrs, and their sex life though not dead comes once in a while, few times in a year.

He advised me that if I should cheat, that I should never keep a relationship with anyone, that I should try as much as possible to make it just about sex. Me that's planning to never cheat on my wife.

So married men, do your wives ever keep you for months without sex?

Also do husbands deprive their wives of sex?

I don't think I can even bear 1 month without, like, I must be lashing my wife like thrice a week to say the least. I am much more scared that since my life is like this now, maybe cheating would be inevitable for me.

So married people, how do you deal with sexual deprivation from your spouse, and is it even possible not to cheat?

What of the health threat to your spouse that comes with it?

phelonrays:
Ya, brah

Remember one of 'em best friend some years back, she was more like believing on me to salvage her off some mess she got her self in, but of a truth; I jettisoned, infact I felt like a betrayer after everything went calm without me (her confidant) in the picture


I'm really trying to get out of this inhumane and unhealthy behavior cum trait, it's eating me up

It's not a learnt behavior though, it came from birth.
Summary of it all we don't care about anyone, nor expect them to care for us.

phelonrays:
I also exhibit this same here, aside those ones canceled...

*barely asked for help,

*can't fell in love, even though I always had 'em flying around, can't play with my heart...

*seldom get angry,

Do you ever get worried over your lack of care or empathy towards others?

Imiete:
like I will fuk her continuously till she die

Like you want someone to pay you to kill her?

Imiete:
Any girl wey go sub for me I promise to fuk her and suck her clitoris till the end

Like you will fuk continuously till you die?

extol1:
I have seen someone that have the same trait like me

You've got everything I said?

festacman:
I disagree with this analysis.

The truth is that until recent dissolution of APC NWC, the governors who supported one of their own, Adams Oshiomole, got the shorter end of the stick in 2019 elections. Unfortunately, under Oshiomole their influence continued to wane from failure of their intervention in Ambode's case to that of Obaseki. It was obvious that APC secretariat tilted towards Tinubu, giving him undue advantage even before 2023 comes. Other interests fought back. The situation became so untidy with conflicting court rulings. Many blamed the president for aloofness and he acted decisively. Unfortunately Oshiomole being human, played himself into an ambush and down, he went with entire NWC.

Therefore, this recent dissolution of NWC has little to do with ascendancy of CPC bloc but, very much, with re-assertion of the fact that governors are the decisive factor in Nigerian party politics. Naturally, it will more difficult for Tinubu to enthrone his favourite as chairman again but he, sure, has a way of getting around.

A little of shock for you. I may be wrong but I do have a strong feeling that Asiwaju Tinubu was privy to Buhari's move to dissolve APC NWC yesterday and may have made inputs. Evidence: His statement the previous night calling on APC members "to rally round President Buhari". Second, his governors and loyalists attended. Third, there is no way some people would be contacted to be part of APC CTC without it leaking.

Wow
Just wow

Probably the most beautiful and logically intriguing piece on politics I have read on NL.