₦airaland Forum

HRHQueenPhil:
Mmm she get mind,am diabetic and refuse to date or marry talkless of having HIV.she is super bold.dont marry if u don't have unshakeablefaith in God and urself.dont marry for sympathy

You refuse to date because of diabetes? that's highly absurd!

Do you know that most family lines have one generic disease or the other waiting for them, mostly late onset diseases.
Some heart conditions, some goitre, some hypertension, some kidney diseases, some cancer predisposition, some psychological issues and so on.

If we all looked into this, no one would get married.

Go, date, marry, give birth to kids. No dull your life because of diabetes, which you have no control over.

You would be making a very big mistake if you married this lady, she is not only deceptive, but highly manipulative.

She knows of her status, and kept it from you for so long, and even allow you to fvck her (I deduce this from ur statement that you ran to get tested).
This means, she probably tried to infect you, so you won't have a choice.

Now you know, and luckily, you ain't infected and she comes up with the suicide story, that's first class emotional blackmail.

I am enlightened, and know it's quite possible to have a successful marriage with an infected spouse, but this is not the case with you.
The character of the lady in question is too bad, she might even go ahead to infect you after marriage, making sure you won't leave her.


Leave the bitch, and if she commits suicide, it's totally on her head.

ubunja:
i dont need a scientific study to prove that handling boobs turns them into slippers.if you need a study to prove they dont you will find plenty coz popular science is too pro-women for its own good.

On the issue of breast sagging - The suspensory ligaments naturally hold the breast tissue and keep them on a perky position.
Have you ever seen a 16 yr old with a saggy breast?
However, these ligaments loose their tension with age, breastfeeding and of course being handled.
-It's loss with age however is not as fast as social media would want us to believe, up to 80-90% of women with a good life would still have a standing breast at 35
-YES seeing a lady below 35 with full blown saggy breasts is very indicative of extreme pressing. E get how e go fall reach, you suspect child birth.


On the issue of obesity, I disagree with you, it has much more to do genetically than environmental, although both plays hand in hand to determine if a person is fat.
Genetically, a lot of complex factors are considered, from appetite (some people release ghrelin faster- more appetite),
To metabolism, some might eat a lot, and yet it doesn't show because their body doesn't store much fat (they might have a diminished number of enzymes involved in fat metabolism and storage)
To how their body stores fat, some people store more fat subcutaneously which burns easier with exercise than others who store intraperitoneally.

I don't think it's wise to compare the two, one is mainly exotic, while the other is mainly utility.


OP, try reselling a 2yr old Benz, and a 5yr old Toyota, you might get a clearer view of your answer

My little experience sha.

A small piece of wood, like 0.5 CM long was removed, from someones omentum. Gosh! you need to see the pus goshing out.

Apparently, dude previously fell from a tree and got lacerated on the way to the ground. Most of the stick where removed then sha, apart from that tiny chunk, never new such a small thing could trigger such immune reaction.

He is lucky sha, he was still at the hospital, he had fistula which was yet to heal and that was what kept him at the hospital.

The gross site...

ityP:
But the guy ma na fool. How do you stay with a woman for 3 years without sex and still stay out in such a marriage? He deserves what he is getting cos I for don end am after 6 months

He might have gone so efficient in cheating that the wife thinks he's been celibate for 3 yrs. What man can go 3 yrs just like that immediately after marriage?

You see, pussy is cheap, even a more better looking one than the said wife, na only men wey dey creat relationship outside marriage dey get caught. If you just fvck and go, there is 99% chance you won't get caught.

ityP:
It's easy to sense this tbh. And as u said, she's probably even deceiving herself that that's not it. Deep down, that is the problem. She should just let the guy go. This marriage is dead already

Divorcing the poor guy would be the best gift to him, and she admitted the guy dey try make am work, the guy would probably be killing himself for this shit-head

ityP:
No long talk bro. You're very correct. Na him looks be the problem. All this talk na okoto meow skrrr skrr

Anyone who have related with women well enough will know it's the looks. They never admit it, sometimes they won't even admit it to their selves.

When ever I hear things like, "that guy is good, but I don't love him", I don know say the guy worwor

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

Love is a decision, has always been, will always be, you have never decided to love him.

And I can bet, the entirety of the problem is his looks, you might try to deny it, na you sabi, I have a lot of female friends (even married ones) and I know how much looks mean to them.

In life you don't get all you want, you sacrifice the lesser want for the greater want, but you, I can bet you want his personality with the looks of your 15 yr ol ex.


YOU ARE VERY WICKED AND SELFISH.

Michellekabod2:
I admire your honesty,you were honest enough to admit this is from the lens of the society. You called this reality and not that you defended your stance as the right way of living. Kudos on that.

There is reality,and there is the a logical way of doing things. There is a margin between the two.
Sadly people like Martinez39 call reality the truth and a logical way of life(off course only when it suits him,when it deals with a man being the sole provider in a relationship,he hates that part of reality). He embraces realities that favor men but frowns at realities that favor women(financial dependency on men).

He alongside the f00l called crackkhaus do this all the time. Shame though. Shame.

But aren't we shapers of reality? Do we settle for what society lays out for us or change for the better? The op is trying to change reality for the better.

The guy you quoted is an extremist, I won't lie, sometimes I read through his teaching, a lot people do, we even applaud him. This doesn't turn us to extremists like he is, at least in my case I just read it, make I no go loose guard on top woman matter. It doesn't mean I believe everything he says or even up to half of it.

I can also bet that up to 3/4th of his fans are not extremists as well.

To the point of changing the society, it is a tedious task, but I THINK society changes on it's own when it is ripe

Michellekabod2:
There is nothing to understand about that reason. It is definitely coming from a place of bruised ego. If I marry a single dad,I will try to mediate peace between the kid and his /her estranged mom . I will not feel envious if he/she reunites with his/her biological mum.


Don't expect to get a tangible reason from male naira landers for their stigma against single moms. Sadly the bigots find nothing wrong with single dads.
Surprising how people make themselves adjudicators over others. Call them unfit to be alpha males and they cry foul.

Its their choice to marry who they wish,but adjudging SM and calling them derogatory names is wrong

I laughed hard when I saw this comment.

In my comment I didn't include the possibility of the incoming spouse trying to mediate a better relationship btw the children and the estranged parent. Let me consider it now.

Say you enter, initially try hard to mediate things between them and it doesn't work, you then proceed to take the children as your's, probably train them for like 18+ years, train them till they become people in the society, then one day, after so many years, they leave you for their real mom, how would you feel?
The love for a child is much deeper than that for a spouse mind you, how will you cope?
Or you think it's just by typing on Nairaland.

I try my best to make you see things realistically, not with the eye of social media. Of course, it would be easy to deal with on social media, but in real life, how you wan take handle am?

Blu03:
Cc: 4cks
Well, i get the '...wanting to meet their biological father...' point.
But not every adopted child would do that. If the kid is loyal, he/she would realise that family isn't all about blood but the person(s) who has/have stood by him or her.
Again, before marrying any woman, single mom or not, one has to first study her character...
But the message i'm trying to pass isn't "Guys marry a single mom" but "Guys stop hating on someone who's already going through alot"

I understand you now. The hate is bad, I actually in the real sense pity (not hate single mothers) but I pity their children more.

Fountainofyouth:
All your words where you used "she, mother", change it to "he, father", and advice based on that, without removing or adding anything, I await your response, thank you.

Let me do as you want.

- first point, if he is a single dad, living with his children. What does he have to offer?
Good. A man living with his children already oozes of responsibilities, normally women are the ones who come as liabilities. Seeing a single dad who takes care of his children should tell you he has enough to take care of you. In this case, it's actually an advantage.

- second point, what if you love the children like your own, and they turn towards their real mother oneday?
Well, I wouldn't lie, this can be a real issue, but want thing I can say is that the tendency of children to leave their adopted dad for their biological one is way higher than that of them leaving the adopted mom for their biological mom, especially when you take them as your own. That said, this is still a very big problem to consider.

- Finally, why did the former woman leave him?
Realistically speaking, after a break up and the children remain with the dad, you won't even take time to fault the former woman because, children in most cases stay with their mothers after separation.
Would he leave me for his ex?
There is a tendency of this, but it becomes extremely minimal when the man already started a new family with you.
Is he a LovePeddler?
Any man can hoe around and the society would keep a blind eye. If he wants to start a family with you he is probably tired of the w'horing.

The truth is most often, single dad's are not that bad of a choice, while it is the opposite for the ladies.

I am not being sexist, I am being realistic.

Peace once again.

There are red flags when choosing a partner, and in the history of red flags, I think being a single mom is the redest.

Forget about alpha male and feminism and the rest of it OP. I want you to reason things practically.

- What do simple moms offer really? I mean, in the real sense, what? As it is already, most women are liabilities, now you add children. No man should walk into that huge responsibility, unless atleast the woman can foot half of the bills at least.

- OK, let's say you ignore the status quo, you marry a single mom, you learn to love the children like your own. There is always a HIGH probability that the children would want to be with their biological father one. Even if say na me, no matter how u love me, once I grow up, I go like meet my real papa.
Worst case they leave you, best case, they share their paternal love with you.

- Then, let's talk about the woman, why did the last person leave her? Abi na only you like left overs.
Or, why did she divorce (if married) she fit do the same to you.
She might still have a soft side for the dude, afterall he is the father of her kids.
She might be a LovePeddler (highly probable).


Most single moms are not worth it, unless a widow. There are exceptions though, but they are VERY FEW. I can't build by life on such a low probability.

Peace!

.

MarjieJ98354:
Hello,

I'm a 57 yr old Black American woman looking for a 50/50 relationship. I'm looking to marry someone that has no desire to have Children to come live with me in America. If you're not willing to come 50/50 from jump, then don't bother contacting me. We both have needs. If you can't fulfill my needs, i'm more than willing to accept the options I have now.!!!!!

Shey the person is allowed to fvck other younger, beautiful and unexpired women?

I think he is more of oshiomole than Obj

Damn, it took me a while to understand what you wrote.

That your gf is the devil. People don't date devil, they run away from her.

TUANKU:
These are projects you would expect from a local government chairman, our politicians especially the state governors are just taking a piss.

Some of una go just rush type rubbish.

Tourism is the job of a local government chairman?
Do you know how much this project can give Enugu yearly if properly managed?
You just typed before thinking.


This might just be the first time I would applaud gburu gburu, I thought he forgot about Enugu metropolis.

BOYLOVABLE1:
A lady send me a friend request on facebook since early last year which I accepted, from there we started chatting.

According to her that she's from India and she will love to marry, we talked a lot. I asked her so many questions about her and she said so many things that she a single mother.

After two months she went off and I also moved on. Just last week Friday, she appears again telling me that her account was hacked.

She has been sending me pictures also request for mine which I did send, she send both nude pics.

On Friday she also wants me to send mine which I declined. After much persuasion, I sent her my nude, she insisted that she wants to see my full unclad pic.
To cut the story shorter, immediately I sent her my full unclad pic, the next thing I saw was:

"You dey craze, I resemble your mate?". I should better comply or else....
When she is through with me I will know my myself.

I just weak, immediately I blocked her on Facebook. I think she wants to use my unclad pic to scam me. She has been calling me but I refuse to pick the call.

Please what will i do?

Don't mind mind my English construction.

This format wey don old...

Bros leave the idiot, no pic the calls, nor text back, trust me, the mata go die like that.

If you have enough money, and you want to make an example of the fool, contact the relevant people, na facebook, easy to track the fool.

If you no get the money to track am, ignore am.

Easy case to crack

Install a camera, then try and get her to repeat the statement, and have it all recorded.

From there, you can have your divorce, and chase the she devil out of your home, while you keep your children.

In case the children grow up, and maybe somehow blame you for their mom's absence, show them the tape as well.

But sha, some marriages dey beyond messed up.

This is not ogbete.

The picture looks like one village market.

Thanks to Ugwuanyi, giving fire extinguishers to the traders helped a lot. Fire was already controlled before fire service came.

strungup79:
Everything you said is what I do. Her family only comes around when I'm out. I cook my meals myself. Whenever I can I contribute to my children's upkeep. We don't have sex again. Her control is only when it concerns her. Whenever she takes decisions concerning the children and Ifeel it is wrong, i just reverse it witout fanfare. Basically we are just co tenants with shared responsibilities.

Good. That means you are a wise man.

Just find something to make you happy, maybe gyming, joining a church choir, playing snooker or draft or chess. Just something that would make you stay with some people, and it would also make you leave the house from time to time.
THIS IS TO MAINTAIN YOUR SANITY

While at it, pls don't join drinking or smoking or start engaging prostitutes, don't damage your self in the bid for happiness.