manitobor:


I always like reading your replies. You're always so frank and unassuming.

I don't know you but I love you.

you just stole my reply ! i like her replies too so Original straight foreard and fun I dont think shes a naija girl or grew up in naija evenif na naija girl she doesnt behave like our jakura naija girls.

OkaNaUbe:


That is a South African for you. Our Nigeria ladies won't dare be that frank. Always claiming to be better than they really are.

cc:XhosaNostra

Not all,my brother.

The day he passed on.

Majesticniyi:




I concluded a while back that the average fathers in our generation failed at their jobs. Most people would deny this openly but they know its the truth. Most did not have it as bad as you though. Shout out to the Mothers....they basically made most of us who we are. I hope the current new crop of fathers would not repeat the mistakes of their fathers.

Good you said 'the average father' cos not all of them. I had the best of them anybody can ask of. we comfortable, he loved us, thought us what freedom actually meant because u can speak with him freely.
After punishment he forgives n reunite us to himself such that if he intended to give u something b4 u can expected to get it.
he allowed his wife; our mum d freedom to use her income as she likes since he never left his duties for her, infact he never asked her about her income.
He is dead now but has become my role model as a father.
it is my wish to surpass his standard n achievement as a father.

my dear since u are doing ryt tin ignore him ,

1Sharon:


Sorry babe. But I've always wanted to know, how do ppl get pregnant and even find a place to have sex when they know they have strict dads like yours?

My friend was given Mony by a boy then to deceive me to his house and I was so innocent that I did not know what was happening, she left me there with d boy that she was coming. Boy drug my drink and rape me. I did not tell anybody cos I was scared

Majesticniyi:




I concluded a while back that the average fathers in our generation failed at their jobs. Most people would deny this openly but they know its the truth. Most did not have it as bad as you though. Shout out to the Mothers....they basically made most of us who we are. I hope the current new crop of fathers would not repeat the mistakes of their fathers.

Good you said 'the average father' cos not all of them. I had the best of them anybody can ask of. we comfortable, he loved us, thought us what freedom actually meant because u can speak with him freely.
After punishment he forgives n reunite us to himself such that if he intended to give u something b4 u can expected to get it.
he allowed his wife; our mum d freedom to use her income as she likes since he never left his duties for her, infact he never asked her about her income.
He is dead now but has become my role model as a father.
it is my wish to surpass his standard n achievement as a father.

cc: lilmax
Manitobor
1sharon

1Sharon:


Sorry babe. But I've always wanted to know, how do ppl get pregnant and even find a place to have sex when they know they have strict dads like yours?

Blame it on the cunning boys/guys/men with their honey-laced Tongues.

what's the most? sigh....
The Bible and the word of God is the only reason I am going to mince my words about my Dad.
Here are few of the embarrassing moments.
1. Flogged my mom with Koboko outside of the house gate, with the children crying and screaming for help.
2. The time my mom was forced to carry her loads, carry my sister on her back and went to sleep in a strangers spare room.
3. The time he slapped and punched me because I rebuked his new wife's baby.
4. The time he beat the hell out of my mom of Christmas day in the compound in front of a crowd.
-wipes tear-
anyway let me stop, I am glad they are no longer together.

Never had one. Left when I was 5

HitSong:

Ask your mom what she did wrong...
She must have done something...

you are a miserable person to say this. My Dad did something similar with my mom. Talk about what did she do? disgusting lots.

Onlyonebuhari:
I wonder what the future holds for most of this so called youth. Social media is now the medium to count your Dad flaws against you...... what a shame!
African cultures is dying

The same African culture that raised so many deadbeat fathers, abi?
Abeg, let them express themselves on this forum where most people are anonymous. Sharing traumatic experience is a good way to get over it.
@Op.. my father is a great dad. He & my mum are the best I can ever ask for. However, I know lots of people who are not as lucky as I'm. Fathers really need to be educated to do better in raising their kids.

godblessuyirich:

My friend was given Mony by a boy then to deceive me to his house and I was so innocent that I did not know what was happening, she left me there with d boy that she was coming. Boy drug my drink and rape me. I did not tell anybody cos I was scared

Sorry about that, if this is true. Did you inform the authorities?

Juliearth:


Blame it on the cunning boys/guys/men with their honey-laced Tongues.

Even at that where do they find a place to have sex with strict parents watching them like a hawk?

futurist369:
Never had one. Left when I was 5

Died when you were 5?

IAmTobore:
Died when you were 5?

no,got another family

HitSong:

You can't tell...
You don't know the secret or gravity of the offense...

As long as the children are biologically his, there is no excuse for neglect.

kullozone:


You hate my dad but love yours.

What did my dad do to you? lemme know fess before...

African parents in general. I didn't call your dad's name

futurist369:
no,got another family

Same with me. My parents separated at 5. All these crazy things that even happen. Anyway, may God bless my brother. Whenever people talk about their father, I talk about my brother.

HitSong:

Ask your mom what she did wrong...
She must have done something...

Very silly of you. So if the mother did something wrong, he should then transfer the aggression to the child(ren), and not take care of them These nairaland kids sef.

Emotinally brutalized before the age of 7. Called a bastard by time im 10. Ran away from home at the age of 12 with no idea where i was going and but a biscuit in my pocket. Experienced the phenomenom "walking in circles " for the first time. By 6 im hungry and lost..by 11 im roaming yhe streets looking for where to sleep. God sends a good Samaritan my way. He saw a young boy on the streets at that hour. I lied to him was going to visit my uncle in Festac Town but got lost and was hungry. He took pity on me and offered to let me pass the night in his place. Too dangerous for a 12 year old boy walking all alone.

Next morning i had no desire to get up..i was drained. Anyway i find my way back to Festac. Exhausted i sat on a stone under the baking sun to rest. Then my dad's friend spotted me. I spotted him too and took off...he chased me and caught up with me. I screamed...people gathered thinking he was trying to kidnap me. I screamed " i dont wanna go back. He wants to kill me"

He was having none of that. I was bundled into a bus and taken home. Now this is where the nightmare began.

I was threatened with death. I was bullied by everyone. Repeatedly called a bastard and spat on. Being spat on right at my face is what i dread the most. You are a bastard chiled he will scream..then spit on my face and tell me to go commit suicide. He will point his finger at me and say "you will never make it in life".

Now im the first son. It didnt take long for my younger siblings to follow suit. I was not being spat on by my own brothers too. I was treated with the utmost disrespect and contempt. I tried had to figure out why i was hated with such passion...i just couldnt understand why a human being will treat another human like that.

Because of the childhood trauma i developed anxiety and other forms of mental illness. I didnt know how to socialize...my entire life has been characterised by nothing but raw fear. I became introveted..too scared to go out fir fear of being nullied. As my mental health got worse i became a source of amusement to them. I was mocked, laughed it...SPAT on, called useless. It was a living hell. At this point everybody in my family denies they know me. I was worth nothing to all of then.

When they saw that i had become immune to their widkedness because i have been so used to it so it doesnt affect me..they looked for new ways to cause me emotional trauma..my FRIENDS.

My friends were disgraced by my dad...i was warned never to bring friends home. By the time i was 18 they had grown tired of havng me around. I was sent to the University of Port Harcourt and abandoned there. Inwas not deemed worthy enough for anyone to invest in..sos ia became homeless in Port Hacourt..walking the street. With no money toi feed. Not once was i sent money...luckily some friends took pity on me and took me in.

So i got sick. The stress of everyday life was too much. It affected my immune system. I call my dad and BEG him for N5,000. BEGGED!!. But alas..i was not worth N5,000. At this point i had lost all hope of ever being accepted. So i go into Yahoo. Oh boy !!! My life changed.

First pay was £12,000 pounds. More money began flowing. My life was has changed. So in estacy i decided to surprise my family is. I figured now that there was money i can make them accept me. I never knew i was making a terrible mistake.

I spent over N3 million on that family. I thought they were happy for me. I, who nobody paid my fees, my dad took up responsibility of some family relatives education on my back. No prob..so long it made him happy i was cool.

THEN

The terrible DREAMS STARTED. TERRIBLE DREAMS. I kept dreaming of being attacked with blows from my dad and siblings...i dreamt of my siblings exchanging my bigger phone with his. I dreamt of being force fed in my dreams by my family. I couldn't make sense of it.

My finances then took a hit..suddenly.To cut long story short...i had an altercation with a friend...in anger and fury he blotted out i am a BASTARD. I am a reject. I am not the legitimate son of my dad. Apparently my mom cheated or so and ...they found out..My mom left so i was at the mercy of my dad. Unable to get at my mom i was used as a punching bag.

One faithful day..i was im my dads room..and rifht in his wardrop i saw a BAT hanging upside down. I fled in panic and shouted daddy see bat. My dad just smiled ans closed the wardrope. I was confused.

God in his infinite mercy took pity on me and revealed to me the truth. I was living in the midst of witches and wizards. My entire family was into witchcraft. Including my mom. They wanted to use me for sacrifises but God intervened. A friend of mine was made an off remark that "na because of your goodheart you dey alive..God dey fight for you" ...i didnt understand then...

They saw my star, they saw God loved me so much and since they could not kill me they resorted to trging to steal my glory.

My life has pretty much being destroyed at this point n because i am just lost with no sense of belonging. I fled my family..they still sent WITCHCRAFT bird to be monitoring me. Now he may have caused me great pain and sufferring..i really do not hate him. I am more sad than happy. But i know the almighty God seest all. I do sincerely hope they turn from witchcraft before its too late.

So im lost. Contemplated suicide..nobody to talk to and having to live in complete isolation. One thing i know..God will help me out and end my suffering. I hope its soon cos life has become unbearable.

The man i called my dad is a wicked and evil hypocrite and jealous too. Someday he will answer for destroying my life and all the pain and tears he caused. Waking up middle of the night crying. I did nothing to him. He will answer for his wickedness...very soon.

My dad did not believe in me. He was always doubting and questioning my choices. Consequently, I have taken most of the important decisions of my life without him.

I had an issue with a result in school back then. I was SO sure the grade I had wasn't mine, that there must have been a mixup. I told my dad about it and he "bullsheeted" me. I was right. There was indeed a mixup.

When I got a scholarship to go to the United States, I had to go for some documentation at the US embassy. When I got back home, my dad legit told me that I was being scammed that I didn't go to the US embassy. That where I went must have been a different place. I decided not to tell him about plans for my travels afterwards.

I officially told my dad I would be traveling out when it was just a couple of days before I left. Mind you, we were living in the same house. If not for my mum that was always showing up in my room as early as 5am to beg me to tell him I would be traveling, I most likely would have just called him from the airport.

After I told him sha, dude was sad. He wanted to give me lots of money. I told him not to mind, that the scholarship was an all-expenses paid one. He sha found a way to put some 50k (Or 100k. Not sure again.) in my bag to spend at the airport.

Today, he is beginning to see me as a man. He listens to me now.

Meanwhile, while my dad was busy making me look incapable of making decisions, my mother was always there for me. She still is. I have never seen anyone who believes in me like my mum. Whenever I tell her stuff, she would just pray for me. She has always been my pillar.

Regardless, I am thankful for both of them. I can't quantify the sacrifices they have made for me.

God bless and keep our parents.

zealousayo:


Our experiences are almost the same except that my own dad is dead.

same. He died in 2015 n I didn't shed tears BKS I never felt having Dad. Uncle from mother side trained me n gave me job

MARKone:


Very silly of you. So if the mother did something wrong, he should then transfer the aggression to the child(ren), and not take care of them These nairaland kids sef.

I'm not sure this one is okay.
You must be very stupíd

HitSong:

Ask your mom what she did wrong...
She must have done something...

What if she did? Is that a reason to transfer it to his kids?

maidaddy:
what's the most? sigh....
The Bible and the word of God is the only reason I am going to mince my words about my Dad.
Here are few of the embarrassing moments.
1. Flogged my mom with Koboko outside of the house gate, with the children crying and screaming for help.
2. The time my mom was forced to carry her loads, carry my sister on her back and went to sleep in a strangers spare room.
3. The time he slapped and punched me because I rebuked his new wife's baby.
4. The time he beat the hell out of my mom of Christmas day in the compound in front of a crowd.
-wipes tear-
anyway let me stop, I am glad they are no longer together.

I hope you learn and be a better parent to your kids and an amazing partner to your better half. Cheer up

My dad was one in a million. Cannot remember such incidence. Trained me to be independent and saw me as an adult that knew what to do. RIP

[quote author=intrepidJ post=79314638]Emotinally brutalized before the age of 7. Called a bastard by time im 10. Ran away from home at the age of 12 with no idea where i was going and but a biscuit in my pocket. Experienced the phenomenom "walking in circles " for the first time. By 6 im hungry and lost..by 11 im roaming yhe streets looking for where to sleep. God sends a good Samaritan my way. He saw a young boy on the streets at that hour. I lied to him was going to visit my uncle in Festac Town but got lost and was hungry. He took pity on me and offered to let me pass the night in his place. Too dangerous for a 12 year old boy walking all alone.

Next morning i had no desire to get up..i was drained. Anyway i find my way back to Festac. Exhausted i sat on a stone under the baking sun to rest. Then my dad's friend spotted me. I spotted him too and took off...he chased me and caught up with me. I screamed...people gathered thinking he was trying to kidnap me. I screamed " i dont wanna go back. He wants to kill me"

He was having none of that. I was bundled into a bus and taken home. Now this is where the nightmare began.

I was threatened with death. I was bullied by everyone. Repeatedly called a bastard and spat on. Being spat on right at my face is what i dread the most. You are a bastard chiled he will scream..then spit on my face and tell me to go commit suicide. He will point his finger at me and say "you will never make it in life".

Now im the first son. It didnt take long for my younger siblings to follow suit. I was not being spat on by my own brothers too. I was treated with the utmost disrespect and contempt. I tried had to figure out why i was hated with such passion...i just couldnt understand why a human being will treat another human like that.

Because of the childhood trauma i developed anxiety and other forms of mental illness. I didnt know how to socialize...my entire life has been characterised by nothing but raw fear. I became introveted..too scared to go out fir fear of being nullied. As my mental health got worse i became a source of amusement to them. I was mocked, laughed it...SPAT on, called useless. It was a living hell. At this point everybody in my family denies they know me. I was worth nothing to all of then.

When they saw that i had become immune to their widkedness because i have been so used to it so it doesnt affect me..they looked for new ways to cause me emotional trauma..my FRIENDS.

My friends were disgraced by my dad...i was warned never to bring friends home. By the time i was 18 they had grown tired of havng me around. I was sent to the University of Port Harcourt and abandoned there. Inwas not deemed worthy enough for anyone to invest in..sos ia became homeless in Port Hacourt..walking the street. With no money toi feed. Not once was i sent money...luckily some friends took pity on me and took me in.

So i got sick. The stress of everyday life was too much. It affected my immune system. I call my dad and BEG him for N5,000. BEGGED!!. But alas..i was not worth N5,000. At this point i had lost all hope of ever being accepted. So i go into Yahoo. Oh boy !!! My life changed.

First pay was £12,000 pounds. More money began flowing. My life was has changed. So in estacy i decided to surprise my family is. I figured now that there was money i can make them accept me. I never knew i was making a terrible mistake.

I spent over N3 million on that family. I thought they were happy for me. I, who nobody paid my fees, my dad took up responsibility of some family relatives education on my back. No prob..so long it made him happy i was cool.

THEN

The terrible DREAMS STARTED. TERRIBLE DREAMS. I kept dreaming of being attacked with blows from my dad and siblings...i dreamt of my siblings exchanging my bigger phone with his. I dreamt of being force fed in my dreams by my family. I couldn't make sense of it.

My finances then took a hit..suddenly.To cut long story short...i had an altercation with a friend...in anger and fury he blotted out i am a BASTARD. I am a reject. I am not the legitimate son of my dad. Apparently my mom cheated or so and ...they found out..My mom left so i was at the mercy of my dad. Unable to get at my mom i was used as a punching bag.

One faithful day..i was im my dads room..and rifht in his wardrop i saw a BAT hanging upside down. I fled in panic and shouted daddy see bat. My dad just smiled ans closed the wardrope. I was confused.

God in his infinite mercy took pity on me and revealed to me the truth. I was living in the midst of witches and wizards. My entire family was into witchcraft. Including my mom. They wanted to use me for sacrifises but God intervened. A friend of mine was made an off remark that "na because of your goodheart you dey alive..God dey fight for you" ...i didnt understand then...

They saw my star, they saw God loved me so much and since they could not kill me they resorted to trging to steal my glory.

My life has pretty much being destroyed at this point n because i am just lost with no sense of belonging. I fled my family..they still sent WITCHCRAFT bird to be monitoring me. Now he may have caused me great pain and sufferring..i really do not hate him. I am more sad than happy. But i know the almighty God seest all. I do sincerely hope they turn from witchcraft before its too late.

So im lost. Contemplated suicide..nobody to talk to and having to live in complete isolation. One thing i know..God will help me out and end my suffering. I hope its soon cos life has become unbearable.

The man i called my dad is a wicked and evil hypocrite and jealous too. Someday he will answer for destroying my life and all the pain and tears he caused. Waking up middle of the night crying. I did nothing to him. He will answer for his wickedness...very soon.




God!
It'll be alright man.. it'll be alright

Yeah you are 100% right, they failed woefully.mine was never there at all. I basically have no daddy experience at all, from divorcing my mum, to marrying another wife and finally abandoned us. Thank God for my mum. God bless that woman, who came to our rescue before hunger turned us to biology skeleton specimen. Lol..

Majesticniyi:




I concluded a while back that the average fathers in our generation failed at their jobs. Most people would deny this openly but they know its the truth. Most did not have it as bad as you though. Shout out to the Mothers....they basically made most of us who we are. I hope the current new crop of fathers would not repeat the mistakes of their fathers.

maidaddy:
what's the most? sigh....
The Bible and the word of God is the only reason I am going to mince my words about my Dad.
Here are few of the embarrassing moments.
1. Flogged my mom with Koboko outside of the house gate, with the children crying and screaming for help.
2. The time my mom was forced to carry her loads, carry my sister on her back and went to sleep in a strangers spare room.
3. The time he slapped and punched me because I rebuked his new wife's baby.
4. The time he beat the hell out of my mom of Christmas day in the compound in front of a crowd.
-wipes tear-
anyway let me stop, I am glad they are no longer together.

Flogs his own wife and mother of his children?? Outside the house! My guy, to swear for ur papa dey hungry me but I will comment my reserve

Pavore9:


Even if the mother has done something wrong to the father, why punish his own children with neglect?

I no even understand that guy oh

HitSong:

Ask your mom what she did wrong...
She must have done something...

You must be a deadbeat dad in making