₦airaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,317,039 members, 5,106,565 topics. Date: Tuesday, 20 August 2019 at 08:08 PM

Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe - Literature - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe (11513 Views)

Thrills Of A Lagos Babe / I Just Walked In On My Babe Sleeping With Another Babe(pls What Should I Do) / The Love Story Between A Law Student And Campus Babe (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply) (Go Down)

Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 10:17am On Apr 10
New Story...
Will start updating after my dad's burial.
Shalom!
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by KingSango(m): 11:05am On Apr 10
The slang makes it intriguing as an American I might be learning as well as enjoying the story smiley
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by adefunke62(f): 12:19pm On Apr 10
SheWrites:
New Story...
Will start updating after my dad's burial.
Shalom!
so sorry bout your dad, we are expecting...
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by chigozie1010: 2:27pm On Apr 10
I am with you.
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 1:38pm On Apr 11
adefunke62:
so sorry bout your dad, we are expecting...

Thanks jare
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Ann2012(f): 7:35pm On Apr 11
SheWrites:
New Story...

Will start updating after my dad's burial.

Shalom!

So sorry dear
Anticipating
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Blackween(f): 7:46pm On Apr 11
one of my best here on nairaland, anticipating
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by toyhin123(f): 6:37am On Apr 12
Sorry about ur dad dear.

Waiting patiently for the new story
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by queenitee(f): 8:55pm On Apr 12
SheWrites:
New Story...

Will start updating after my dad's burial.

Shalom!
I'm sorry about your dad
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by olaiyatolulope(f): 11:01pm On Apr 12
sorry about your dad
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by HeWrites(m): 4:42am On Apr 13
cool

Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 2:45pm On Apr 13
olaiyatolulope:
sorry about your dad
Thanks

1 Like

Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 2:45pm On Apr 13
queenitee:
I'm sorry about your dad
Thanks sweerie
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 2:45pm On Apr 13
toyhin123:
Sorry about ur dad dear.
Waiting patiently for the new story
Thanks
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 11:19am On Apr 16
Sassy and Slaying: Diary of a Single Naija Babe

Synopsis

Like every other single lady living in Nigeria, Nwankego was swallowed up by the torrents of events that encapsulated her world.

Writing about her day to day life wasn't planned, but when she found a black leathered diary amongst her birthday gifts, it became an outlet, a place to rant, think and find solace.

As she proceeded on her journey towards a more satisfactory and comfortable life, she hoped to find love along the way.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 11:28am On Apr 16
Hi everyone,

Missed you all.

I will start posting this new story next week... Dad's burial preparations still on...

NB: I will post updates once in a week for now...
|It might increase to twice in a week, but I am not sure.

Catch yah later *hugs*
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Teespice(f): 11:33am On Apr 16
I can only hope you won't post halfway and ask us to read the rest someplace else
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 1:46pm On Apr 16
Teespice:
I can only hope you won't post halfway and ask us to read the rest someplace else

I will complete this story.

But anyone that wants their personal copy will be able to purchase it on okadabooks.

*winks*
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by XionTemmy(m): 7:00pm On Apr 16
Waiting patiently. Sorry about your dad.
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 7:40pm On Apr 16
XionTemmy:
Waiting patiently. Sorry about your dad.
Thank you
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by OPC90(m): 2:37pm On Apr 25
I hope it will be a good story
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by spiceybae(f): 1:01pm On Apr 30
shewrites wats up wit dz story...hope u guys r done wit d burial..
#condolence
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 2:11pm On May 01
spiceybae:
shewrites wats up wit dz story...hope u guys r done wit d burial..

#condolence

Burial preparations continues.

Thanks for asking.

Will begin updating this week.
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by NSK4U(m): 1:57pm On May 13
SheWrites:
New Story...
Will start updating after my dad's burial.
Shalom!
sorry about the big loss of ya dad
Almighty offer u all da strength needed.
expecting ya new piece.
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 2:03pm On May 13
NSK4U:

sorry about the big loss of ya dad
Almighty offer u all da strength needed.
expecting ya new piece.
Thank you soooooo much.

1 Like

Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Fijumokesayo(f): 3:24pm On May 13
Accept my condolences dear, may dad's soul rest in peace.
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 11:02am On Jun 04
Happy Holidays everyone.
Update begins this week.
I miss you all too *hugs&kisses*
Enjoy your day.
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Ann2012(f): 12:30pm On Jun 04
SheWrites:
Happy Holidays everyone.

Update begins this week.

I miss you all too *hugs&kisses*

Enjoy your day.

Expecting it
Welcome back ma'am
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 4:20pm On Jun 04
Ann2012:


Expecting it
Welcome back ma'am

*hugs*

1 Like

Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 4:24pm On Jun 04
SASSY AND SLAYING: DIARY OF A SINGLE NAIJA BABE

EPISODE ONE

Dear Diary,

January, 8th, 2016.

Hi… don’t really know how to start. Can’t remember the last time I owned or wrote in a diary. It feels kind of strange, yet… exhilarating. I think I am really going to enjoy doing this. I am laughing right now. How do I even write that? Hahahaha… or *laughing*.

I am in here, in my self-contained apartment. An 8 by 12 feet room, small space abi? The size of the kitchen and bathroom cum toilet make up for the small space, I think. At least, I don’t feel like I am living in a sardine can. I live in a building with eight apartments, mine included. The landlord, Chief Gboyega Daniels, a man with the biggest pot belly I have seen in a long time, can be a pest when he wants to be. He also has a foul-mouth and can spew a lot of rubbish per second. Thank God my rent for this year is almost complete. I won’t be facing his wrath this year and I am so, so happy.

My neighbours are… let’s start with the people opposite my apartment. It’s owned by Itoro and Timi. I don’t know whose apartment it is, whether the girl or the guy. But, they live together. Live-in-lovers. That kind of arrangement seem to be working for them. I am not sure I can live with a man for that number of months, talk about years, without the payment of my bride price. Who dash monkey banana? When a man don see you finish, what’s the possibility that he will still marry you?

The others are, an SU brother, Sam. He is always singing and praying violently in his room, then Nasir, a bloke, one of the handsomest men in the compound. They are both single. Then Princess, the number two slay queen in the compound, remember, I am number one. Anywhere, anytime. Followed by Cassandra, they are both single. Then a married couple, Thomas and Ivie. I don’t know how long they have been married, but, they do not have a child. The last apartment, I don’t remember who lives there. Not sure I have met the person. I think I heard Cassandra telling Itoro that the guy or lady who lived in that apartment leaves the house very early in the morning and returns very late at night. Who cares? Minding my own business here.

I just finished downing several lumps of yellow garri, dipped in a delicious, tasty, finger-licking melon soup, garnished with assorted beef. Still chilling with a pack of Hollandia Yoghurt drink to wash down the meal. You know what I mean. *winks*

I’ve got a few strands of meat stuck in my teeth and this toothpick I am holding is lazy. Common meat, it cannot remove. Tried using my tongue and fingers, but nothing is working. I once saw a friend use a thread. You know the thread used to sow clothes? That’s the one. She said it works like that thing… what’s the name now? Can’t remember.

She said it works like that thread-like thing those Oyinbo people use to remove things in their teeth. Maybe I will try it. Need to get these meaty terrorists out of my teeth. It’s beginning to hurt. Where did I put my thread and needle? Can’t even remember the last time I used it. Give me a moment, I will be right back…

Okay. Am back. Found the thread. Where was I?

I clocked 28 a few days ago and amongst the gifts my colleagues at work gave to me, I found a black leathered diary with pinkish pages. I wanted to use it as a jotter, but, later decided to put down my thoughts in the smooth pages of the diary.

Here I am, doing just that.

As a young lady, at 28… I can call myself a young lady, right? Even at 28? Who cares anyway? I am a young lady, single, searching… not really searching, but waiting to be found by my Prince Charming. Awaiting the day, I would be swept off my feet by some hulk of a man. Preferably, a TDH or a TFH (TDH- Tall Dark and Handsome, TFH- Tall Fair and Handsome). I like my men dark, but I don’t mind the lighter shade either. I like them muscular and all that. Will never go near a skinny man. A bag of bones is definitely not my thing.

I came back from work an hour and half ago, or maybe an hour and forty-five or forty-six, seven or eight minutes ago. Sitting in front of my 32’ television, watching one of my favourite channels, preparing to hit the sack in an hour or less, or more, depending on when my eyes becomes drowsy.

Work was fine. Kind of fine. I don’t like my boss. My boss is a ‘She’. Mrs. Nkiruka Eze is my boss and I don’t like her one bit. She has her good sides, but, 90% of the time, she is a terrorist. An unrepentant slave master who doesn’t give the… the… trying to mind my language here. I made a promise to myself to stop using swear words, like the F***, the M**F**, the B**, the S** and the likes. You grab what I mean, right? So, she doesn’t give the *^%&$#* about what happens to you, as long as her work is done. That’s all that matters to her, the work and nothing else.

Enough about her. My colleagues made my day some days ago, when I celebrated my birthday. Didn’t really celebrate it. I just told them a week before that my birthday was coming up and they surprised me. Including Mrs. Nkiruka. Can you believe it? She was the one that gave me the black leathered diary. Cool, right? My people, the trio I share an office with, Benson, Clara and Steve, we are the team in the Administrative section of the company with Mrs. Nkiruka as our direct boss. She is the company’s General Manager.

So, my people surprised me with a very delicious butter creamed cake, the leftover is still in my refrigerator. They also showered me with gifts. Benson gave me perfumes, roll-ons, and body sprays. The expensive kind, with branded names. The guy knows his onions. I also know that he spent that amount of money on me because it was common knowledge that he had a crush on me. Since the very day I started to work at Skylight Properties, he’s had his eyes on me. One day, I know he will sum up the courage to ask me out and I don’t know what my answer would be. He is not my type. He is a softy, too soft for my liking. Let’s wait till he asks me out.

Clara, the number two slay queen in our office, I am the unchallenged slay queen number one. She gave me fancy bras and undies. That girl get taste sha. Can’t believe she actually spent that kind of cash on me. And even Steve, the only married one amongst us, aside Mrs. Nkiruka, he transferred airtime to my phone lines and gave me an envelope with ten-thousand-naira cash in it! I’ve got good people around me, right?

Wait… hold on… I just heard something.

The noise is coming from next door.

I am not so sure.

Wait, let me check, I will be right back…

Hey! I’m back… the noise was coming from Itoro and Timi’s apartment. They are fighting. Shouting at each other and exchanging blows. This is not their first time. In the past, someone or some people would have interfered, but after getting inflicted with cuts and bruises in the name of separating those two, people started to ignore them. Now, everyone locks their doors when they start their wrestling match. Myself included.
The live-in-lovers are at it again. Nwankego Okechukwu here, reporting from house 4, Palm Avenue, Mushin, Lagos. Can’t stop laughing. Wait, I am going back to the window. Taking my diary along.

Ha! This girl can fight o! He slaps her, she slaps him back. He punches her, she throws her own punches. She is giving it back hot as it is coming. I don’t envy her at all. I am no fighter, physically anyway. But I can run my mouth. That doesn’t mean if you slap me, I won’t punch you in return. Slap me once and you will be given back in the same quantity, with extras. That’s me. I cannot come and be a dullard for Lagos.

Hey! She pushed him out of their apartment. The two lovers are struggling. Who is going to win? The silly thing about them is that, at the end of the day, they will still go back into that their room and sleep. Then wake up tomorrow morning and start acting lovey-dovey. Who does that? They fit themselves. They are simply made for each other.

Oooh! He has torn her blouse. Hey! Look at her watermelons o! Everything is outside. That’s the thing about fighting a man. A woman is always at a disadvantage. If you tear his shirt, nothing happens. But if he tears your blouse, you get exposed. Not fair.

Aah! He has pushed her back into the apartment. Now the door is shut. We have come to the end of this entertaining news. Reporting once again from House 4 headquarters, it’s your girl, Nwankego Okechukwu. See you all next week.

Mad people! I’m back on my bed, the noise continues. I don’t care. If they like, they should kill themselves. Let’s round up our yarns for today. Feeling sleepy already. I don’t feel like going to work tomorrow, but if I don’t show up, Mrs. Nkiruka will suspend me. She is that mean. She punishes before she asks for your lame or genuine excuses.

Yea… my full name is Nwankego Queen Okechukwu. You can call me Ego. I am 28, approaching 29 and I don’t find it funny. Already dreading the next family occasion. Tired of being harassed by my mum’s inquisitive and angry stares.

“Go and marry Ego, biko.”

She can go on for hours. As if I am the only single lady in the family. My elder sister, Adanne, and my brother, Ugochukwu, are single too. I am the last child and she keeps disturbing me as if we were born on the same day. Thank God we don’t live together anymore.

I left home immediately after my service year. I almost went back when my dad passed on that same year. But, thank God I didn’t. My mum, a retired principal, a pensioner, living in a two-bedroom flat, ran a cold-store in one of the shops, outside the building. That keeps her busy, until she starts to miss us, then the daily phone calls commence, until we all visit her.

Her birthday is coming up soon and my sister wants us to plan a surprise party. I’m game for it. Let’s make the woman happy. But, hopefully, she won’t turn it into a family meeting and start to harass us because of our single status. Till then anyway.

*Yawns* I am sleepy now. Got to go diary.

It’s being a pleasure writing in this pinkish volume of goodness.

I feel better. I think this is therapeutic. I should do this often. *Yawns again*

Night, night diary… see you tomorrow, If I can… or next tomorrow.

*hugs and kisses*

3 Likes

Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Ann2012(f): 4:54pm On Jun 04
Interesting....doing me like Oliver Twist tongue

Well done ma'am

1 Like

Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 5:35pm On Jun 04
Ann2012:
Interesting....doing me like Oliver Twist tongue

Well done ma'am

Lol...

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply)

Achebe’s "Things Fall Apart" Named In Bbc’s 100 Stories That Shaped The World / What Is An Unseen Prose? / I'm Human...honest!!(werewolf)

Viewing this topic: 1 guest(s)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2019 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 152
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.