J111333:
It depends on what you define love to be. I love everything God created including animals.
Now, women want men to give up everything else just to "love" them unconditionally while they themselves don't. Isn't that stupidity?

That's is just the ish
Many ladies out there want a side mumu that will be on a total lockdown fr them wihile they flirt around the town
The bitter reality

Habeyy:

That's is just the ish
Many ladies out there want a side mumu that will be on a total lockdown fr them will they flirt around the town
The bitter reality

The ones in this categories are the ones that believe beauty is all it takes to get a man. They want to fling their fingers and men should be crawling at their feet. I have seen some of them.

bdchange:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a).
Now this is love according to the Bible but when I read that Bible verse and think about loving my wife same. I began to doubt if it is actually possible to do all that. I am not talking about this fake lust bf and gf profess in relationships and call it love. Well only time will tell and I pray God help me I meet a deserving woman as such.

amen to ur prayers
As I pray you find a good woman,I also pray for myself to find one
But brother,do you know love shouldn't be one-sided
I like the bible verse you quote buh I must say ,it can't only be "love" if all the bible requirement you mentioned are met by the two parties..
Thou nothing like perfection in love but partners shouldn't use that as excuse to break others by committing immoralities.
How can I claim to love someone or vices versa if I don't care what the consequence of my actions and or inactions will be on the other party
I am not shifting blames here
I'm typing based on experience and realities of the modern age
Broda,"eyes don see a lot"

bdchange:

The ones in this categories are the ones that believe beauty is all it takes to get a man. They want to fling their fingers and men should be crawling at their feet. I have seen some of them.

bro it is not always like that
Beauty, posture is not the determinant
It is in the thought
Good and ecil manners emanate from inside

You just won't believe want satisfy people
Bad is the new good in other people's case

Habeyy:
amen to ur prayers
As I pray you find a good woman,I also pray for myself to find one
But brother,do you know love shouldn't be one-sided
I like the bible verse you quote buh I must say ,it can't only be "love" if all the bible requirement you mentioned are met by the two parties..
Thou nothing like perfection in love but partners shouldn't use that as excuse to break others by committing immoralities.
How can I claim to love someone or vices versa if I don't care what the consequence of my actions and or inactions will be on the other party
I am not shifting blames here
I'm typing based on experience and realities of the modern age
Broda,"eyes don see a lot"

The biggest challenge in that bible verse is if you are willing to sacrifice all that for love and yet your partner does little or nothing in returns. las las love go scatter. And that is my biggest fear in marriage

bdchange:

The biggest challenge in that bible verse is if you are willing to sacrifice all that for love and yet your partner does little or nothing in returns. las las love go scatter. And that is my biggest fear in marriage

Now u getvmy point broda
Marriage is a blind institution ,only God and i mean it "GOD" can help us through

Pattypatt:
The guy's side chick and the girl's side nigga.

The post made reference to only three people, the girl and her boyfriend, and the office side nigger. So where did you get the fourth person from?

Jaqenhghar:

You cant speak for everyone. Just because it didnt work for you doesnt mea it wont work for others. My first LDR failed. The 2nd one worked perfectly. I know 5 others whom LDR worked for

Look at you,the girl's boyfriend was in PH thinking the same thing. Just because you call all the time and she picks and laughed doesn't mean it's working. Do you have any idea if she was lying close to another guy on the bed, rubbing her hair?
Wake up bro,from self deception. You just assumed your LDR worked? Just like the guy in PH the Op talked about,I am sure he was somewhere then arguing about how ldr worked not knowing someone f u cks his girl to coma daily

emkz:
A man worked offshore and stayed long periods of time without his wife. She stayed loyal.

I once had a girlfriend whose sister's husband had been away for four years. She was loyal.

A woman went to study for three years and stayed loyal to her man across the Atlantic.

Another woman came from Panama to do an internship in the UK, and she stayed loyal. How do I know?

A story was shared on instagram about a man who left his wife for 8 years to hustle abroad. She remained loyal. The man is now doing everything to compensate her for his long absence.

My point is that when people end up with the worng people, the relationship is bound to fail, distance or no distance.

In addition, circumstances can keep a couple apart, and if one or both of them decide to play away games, I think it should be peculiarized to them and not generalized to every instance of long-distance relationship. Like I said in another post, someone who has a tendency not to be loyal does not need the gulf of distance to manifest the traits embedded in his/her DNA. A person who has been disloyal before and got away with it would be disloyal again and assume he'd get away with it. Let us not use the foolishness of the senseless few to discourage people who are working hard to make their relationships succeed.

You made no sense at all. How did you know it worked,? Unless you base your arguments on the fact that they came back together as couple after the LDR,which is very easy. The question is who told you the ladies or the men you mentioned didn't cheat? You see the guy the Op talked about will believe his LDR worked when he gets back together with the girl,no that's no the criteria. Did one of them cheat? Yes,so the LDR failed.
Don't base your arguments on the fact that they came back together and everything was fine,what happened during the period.
Can you swear with your life that none of those you mentioned above cheated? No, because you didn't follow them every where every time,so what gives you the impression that their LDR worked?

Pattypatt:
'Cause you are there with her to know if she is cheating or not. Lmao.

not all girls are hoe, and not all guyz are Dogs, we both have our values, That's the most important thing, she knows me too well, and l know what shez capable of doing. let love lead, let it be founded on Trust

vicben27:
not all girls are hoe, and not all guyz are Dogs, we both have our values, That's the most important thing, she knows me too well, and l know what shez capable of doing. let love lead, let it be founded on Trust

Story.

Greatzeus:

You made no sense at all. How did you know it worked,? Unless you base your arguments on the fact that they came back together as couple after the LDR,which is very easy. The question is who told you the ladies or the men you mentioned didn't cheat? You see the guy the Op talked about will believe his LDR worked when he gets back together with the girl,no that's no the criteria. Did one of them cheat? Yes,so the LDR failed.
Don't base your arguments on the fact that they came back together and everything was fine,what happened during the period.
Can you swear with your life that none of those you mentioned above cheated? No, because you didn't follow them every where every time,so what gives you the impression that their LDR worked?

Oga, learn to be civil when you are in the public domain.

I will not be hollow to get into a rudderless argument with you. That you have not seen does not mean they don't exist. Change your circle and you'd be shocked that there are still decent girls out there. Nothing you'd tell them would make them bulge because they are matured and principled enough to know that relationship is hardwork and are ready to work hard for its success. I only cited a few examples, and my aim is not to make you believe but to make you aware and not generalize on the basis of statistical insufficiency which is the bane of our quasi-educated youth today. That the people you know engage in such erratic behaviour does not mean every one is like that.

And bros, except you are neither intelligent nor observant, there is no way a man or woman would play games and you won't know or have an inkling. I have been in three long distance relationships by accident. I was loyal by choice and not by lack of opportunities. I have also been in a no distance relationship where I saw her almost everyday for two years (it was her sister whose husband had been away for four years). That one ended because I fell out of what I thought was love after pressing the porous elastic bobby of a tall elegant model in a cab.

My point is that we should be true to ourselves and our partners. If you must cheat, take permission because no matter hos smart you are, you'd be caught except your partner is an oponu.

Greatzeus:

Look at you,the girl's boyfriend was in PH thinking the same thing. Just because you call all the time and she picks and laughed doesn't mean it's working. Do you have any idea if she was lying close to another guy on the bed, rubbing her hair?
Wake up bro,from self deception. You just assumed your LDR worked? Just like the guy in PH the Op talked about,I am sure he was somewhere then arguing about how ldr worked not knowing someone f u cks his girl to coma daily

Well done captain obvious where in my write up did I say I was sure she waas faithful. Nigger she gives me all I need and and makes me happy thats all I care about man. Until I get that 911 call saying my woman was fúcked to coma fúck what you think.

emkz:
A man worked offshore and stayed long periods of time without his wife. She stayed loyal.

I once had a girlfriend whose sister's husband had been away for four years. She was loyal.

A woman went to study for three years and stayed loyal to her man across the Atlantic.

Another woman came from Panama to do an internship in the UK, and she stayed loyal. How do I know?

A story was shared on instagram about a man who left his wife for 8 years to hustle abroad. She remained loyal. The man is now doing everything to compensate her for his long absence.

My point is that when people end up with the worng people, the relationship is bound to fail, distance or no distance.

In addition, circumstances can keep a couple apart, and if one or both of them decide to play away games, I think it should be peculiarized to them and not generalized to every instance of long-distance relationship. Like I said in another post, someone who has a tendency not to be loyal does not need the gulf of distance to manifest the traits embedded in his/her DNA. A person who has been disloyal before and got away with it would be disloyal again and assume he'd get away with it. Let us not use the foolishness of the senseless few to discourage people who are working hard to make their relationships succeed.

So if you were the girl whose boyfriend work in an offshore (Oil or Marine company) or his outside the country trying to secure a better future for you both , you would let your sexual desires chase him away? Nna, your village people jazz dey very potent.

Why not talk about the underemployed or unemployed young folks (25- 29) who are still trying to find their feet and tell us how many of their girlfriends or boyfriends sticked with them.

Pattypatt:
Story.

Lol Ok Ooh! you don't even trust Urself

Long distance relationship works for some but it takes two serious and sincere individuals for it to work.

bdchange:

See my sister so many have gone into wasted years because of this. I shared a story sometimes ago about my friend and his gf courting for 9yrs and yet today they didn't marry. They broke up because of this same cheating and the guy today is married while the lady is not. This life can never be fair to everybody..

My dear that's why I said seeking God will help in that regards because I believe whatever is meant for you will surely be and whatever is not yours can never be yours.... May God guide and direct us

jessysparkles:


My dear that's why I said seeking God will help in that regards because I believe whatever is meant for you will surely be and whatever is not yours can never be yours.... May God guide and direct us

Amen ooo my sister

Pattypatt:
First off, that girl is not smart, office romance is a no-no, secondly, I have tried long distance relationship and none have worked out, so I gave up, there must be cheating whether you like it or not, unless ofcourse the four people involved in the relationship are comfortable with it.

I liked this part where you said office romance is a no-no for you. Keep it up. I advised my colleague too to stay off it. It brings so many negativity and most times end with bitter taste than good.

emkz:
A man worked offshore and stayed long periods of time without his wife. She stayed loyal.

I once had a girlfriend whose sister's husband had been away for four years. She was loyal.

A woman went to study for three years and stayed loyal to her man across the Atlantic.

Another woman came from Panama to do an internship in the UK, and she stayed loyal. How do I know?

A story was shared on instagram about a man who left his wife for 8 years to hustle abroad. She remained loyal. The man is now doing everything to compensate her for his long absence.

My point is that when people end up with the worng people, the relationship is bound to fail, distance or no distance.

In addition, circumstances can keep a couple apart, and if one or both of them decide to play away games, I think it should be peculiarized to them and not generalized to every instance of long-distance relationship. Like I said in another post, someone who has a tendency not to be loyal does not need the gulf of distance to manifest the traits embedded in his/her DNA. A person who has been disloyal before and got away with it would be disloyal again and assume he'd get away with it. Let us not use the foolishness of the senseless few to discourage people who are working hard to make their relationships succeed.

My guy I think you are missing the points. I for my self am faithful till even when I marry. But guys looking around and you see the rate people cheat and clean mouth as if nothing happens is alarming. That girl or guy you see everyday and smell decency in her might surprise you to know that her neighbors sleeps with her anytime she wants to. Meanwhile she will tell you she is only dating one guy. A guy told me she has a gf who is in Abia and still faithful yet a virgin. Yet this guy still sleeps with ladies here in Lagos before he moves back to Aba.then I asked him how can you have a lady of 26years and still a virgin and faithful, beautiful and yet still cheats on her. What else do you want.? He said he is a man and he can do what ever he wants. So cheating is too rampant today for you to now stay miles apart. The only exception I support is when both are already committed looking forward to getting married. Anything short of this is fallacy

bdchange:

My guy I think you are missing the points. I for my self am faithful till even when I marry. But guys looking around and you see the rate people cheat and clean mouth as if nothing happens is alarming. That girl or guy you see everyday and smell decency in her might surprise you to know that her neighbors sleeps with her anytime she wants to. Meanwhile she will tell you she is only dating one guy. A guy told me she has a gf who is in Abia and still faithful yet a virgin. Yet this guy still sleeps with ladies here in Lagos before he moves back to Aba.then I asked him how can you have a lady of 26years and still a virgin and faithful, beautiful and yet still cheats on her. What else do you want.? He said he is a man and he can do what ever he wants. So cheating is too rampant today for you to now stay miles apart. The only exception I support is when both are already committed looking forward to getting married. Anything short of this is fallacy

I think your bolded submission is summarily flawed. From my observation, marriage spurs certain people to bring out their worst (or best) traits. A good girl from a decent home would not become a bad girl during marriage assuming no other internal or external variables persist, e.g., bad friends, wrong conversations, absence of self-will, lack of self love, et al. However, a girl with a predisposition towards immorality during singlehood would amplify these attributes during marriage, also assuming no other extant variables are at play. The gulf of distance is not a variable that determines loyalty, rather it is a personal choise like the one you made. From all I have written here, this is the point I wish to emphasize.

muyiwaadekunle1:



So if you were the girl whose boyfriend work in an offshore (Oil or Marine company) or his outside the country trying to secure a better future for you both , you would let your sexual desires chase him away? Nna, your village people jazz dey very potent.

Why not talk about the underemployed or unemployed young folks (25- 29) who are still trying to find their feet and tell us how many of their girlfriends or boyfriends sticked with them.

I won't talk about them. At 25-29, I would advise you devote your time building your life. That would be the time to learn a skill, do odd jobs to make money to attend coneferences, volunteer to serve at conferences and events where people are watching. What do you need a girlfriend for when you are unemployed? I did security work and carried concrete during my own journey. I served food to people during weddings and birthdays (I was recognized and got a real job by diligently doing that). If you expect a girl to stick with you when you are not making efforts to better your life, that girl is more foolish than you.

emkz:


I think your bolded submission is summarily flawed. From my observation, marriage spurs certain people to bring out their worst (or best) traits. A good girl from a decent home would not become a bad girl during marriage assuming no other internal or external variables persist, e.g., bad friends, wrong conversations, absence of self-will, lack of self love, et al. However, a girl with a predisposition towards immorality during singlehood would amplify these attributes during marriage, also assuming no other extant variables are at play. The gulf of distance is not a variable that determines loyalty, rather it is a personal choise like the one you made. From all I have written here, this is the point I wish to emphasize.

I think i understand your point, but I can't take some naive chances based on the information on LDR i have at hand.

bdchange:

I liked this part where you said office romance is a no-no for you. Keep it up. I advised my colleague too to stay off it. It brings so many negativity and most times end with bitter taste than good.

Office romance breeds gossip.

Pattypatt:
Office romance breeds gossip.

I am not even talking about the gossip but putting emotions in place of professionalism is what might be at stake here. Especially when quarreling and both are asked to carry out a task. Human deficiency may come in which may affect the job because you were trying to avoid each other.

My girlfriend loved me.

I loved my girlfriend.

BUT

My girlfriend loved to go to America more than she loved me.

Today I am in Nigeria

Today she is in America.

Be sure you share similar goals with anyone you get involved with in a LDR.

And she is no longer mine.

FEGEITOK:
My girlfriend loved me.

I loved my girlfriend.

BUT

My girlfriend loved to go to America more than she loved me.

Today I am in Nigeria

Today she is in America.

Be sure you share similar goals with anyone you get involved with in a LDR.

And she is no longer mine.

The problem is you may not even have time to discuss some personal issues because of the distance and may later affect your relationship. I am regretting one currently.

Rossycee:
Long distance relationship works for some but it takes two serious and sincere individuals for it to work.

And I might have wasted some good years of my life before knowing she wasn't serious with me? Ba

bdchange:
Hmmmm.. I just had to breathe in very well before posting this.

Now this is the story from a colleague of mine some few years back.

This girl just resumed work in the company where I worked. Beautiful and an average height. She caught the attention of my other colleague who happens to be a player (i.e womanizing is his hobby). There is no day this girl won't receive calls from her bf and they will talk for several minutes. We were like who the hell calls like that. She told us it was her bf that stays in PH (Port-Harcourt) while she just moved to Lagos to stay with her uncle. We later learnt the guy sends 5k to her every months.

To cut the story short, my colleague starts bleeping her even to the extent that when the bf calls her sometimes she might be with that my guy and they will be in the middle of having s***x.

The problem I have with this lady is that, first she knows this my guy is a player and secondly while suffering the poor boy and yet he was still sending money to her. Why not tell him since you are now distance apart let break up and go our separate ways.

Since then I vow never to do anything distance relationship. I have some other ones but no time to share it. So please stay clear of long distance relationship if you like your self. simple as that

I understand your point but a cheat will always be a cheat. Honestly I want to believe the girl will still find excuses to cheat on the boyfriend even if they aren't separated by long distance. it is one thing to cheat but to do that with no sense of guilt is unacceptable. Long distance relationship work for some people it all depends on the two parties involved, the genuineness of their feelings (because like it's very easy to lose touch emotionally with someone who isn't available and making long calls won't make up for physical presence) and their sensitivity to sexual feelings and how to manage it

bdchange:

And I might have wasted some good years of my life before knowing she wasn't serious with me? Ba

Who knows. Well if you think you did atleast you have learnt from it. You just have to move on, pray and hope for the best.

TheApologist:
I understand your point but a cheat will always be a cheat. Honestly I want to believe the girl will still find excuses to cheat on the boyfriend even if they aren't separated by long distance. it is one thing to cheat but to do that with no sense of guilt is unacceptable. Long distance relationship work for some people it all depends on the two parties involved, the genuineness of their feelings (because like it's very easy to lose touch emotionally with someone who isn't available and making long calls won't make up for physical presence) and their sensitivity to sexual feelings and how to manage it

Hope you know you are stylishly justifying cheat with the bolded in your statement.

bdchange:

Hope you know you are stylishly justifying cheat with the bolded in your statement.

don't read the content in isolation; I'll never approve of cheating no matter what, I only implied since it wasn't a one-off thing that she's definitely a pathological cheat.