I thank you all for your suggestions..advices..knocks on the head etc...if there is any guy that neva feels insecure abt ladies its me...i give my date alot of time and space..i have told her i dont want anymore..she has cried and begged me that she has notin for her ex ,dat notin can go on between them..but i ask her can you say dat in front of him..she said yes..she can..now she says even the call was just for the broda admisn stuff..dt it was just a 45 seconds call which she showed me though..but i kn the message dat call alone has presented to the ex..she still cares dts why she called..u kn how guys think..she feels she has given alot into the relationship with me for it all to end..this girl loves me alot dat i know..som1 here said i sud wait if her brodas get admsn den see how it goes from dia...she promised neva to talk to him again..but it aint abt the conversation only...its abt d feelings..or connection..shes a very emotional lady like very emotional. She once told me a certain time b4 dat if i leave her she dont kn wat she wd do to herself...i dont want to tell her block her ex from callin her...its sound possesive since am not yt married to her...this drama is just too much

justine94:
Babe am not saying am her alpha or omega..trust me i dont track..over secure any girl i date..i aws give freedom and leverage..its just this guts am having and she knows it..i can see it...

Guy trust your instinct!

If it says something is wrong, then it's wrong.
Believe me, if you're not careful and vigilant. Things go still happen between between them.

They are easily swayed because they can't control their emotions.

From experience.

[very funny quote author=RuggedArab post=80988110]

Bro, a man in love is superstitious. You can’t be in love and still use your senses to decide properly. Sit her down and discuss with her. Tell her you are not comfortable and you DO NOT like her relating with the loser (ex). Play chess mind game on her, intimidate her with actions, keep emotions and love aside for now. Act fast before the nigga gets into her pants again (that’s if he hasn’t started digging the rabbit hole he left). [/quote]

justine94:
My Gf of Almost 3 years, her Ex still calls her anytime he likes even though not Frequently, she once told me she felt bad about him that he did nothing to her, she so much believe him to an extent he calls her to tell her things that he Dreamt about her life.

She says most of his Dreams comes to Past while they were Dating then. When she went back to school, she told me he called her to come see him but she declined.

I know she loves me very much, she has proven it to me beyond any reasonable doubt but she still has a Soft Spots for her Ex.

Its making us have issues most times. Of recent i saw a dialled log of her ex on her phone. She said she wanted to check on him. It weakened me alot.

But she said it was nothing, even though the ex is actually helping her kid bro for his admission. She claims she only called to tell him that the brother has written his PUME exams...

When i look at her, I have this feeling she still have a soft spot for her ex..i told her can she see her ex call and not pick it up, she could not ansa. I asked her if she still loves him, she could not ansa, she only tell me she cant go back to him, that she loves me..

I know she won't go back to him, but i know this to be sure she still have a Soft spots for her ex..and her ex knows this very well, so he calls her anytime he likes knowing fully well he knows how to talk to her for her to listen.

Anything he tells her she believes him, notwithstanding, anytime he calls her ,she tells me that he called her, am just confused.. I have already told her i cant continue again becuase i cant continue to hurt my self....

Please i need advice

During any of his calls, do they discuss anything personal. Ryt now her ex is just a like any other person. The fact that they re not dating dosent mean the cant be friends if she wants to. Its normal to feel a sting anytime a lover is mingling with an ex.

TollaniINC:
baba the ball is in your court

He seeking where to play it.

justine94:
My Gf of Almost 3 years, her Ex still calls her anytime he likes even though not Frequently, she once told me she felt bad about him that he did nothing to her, she so much believe him to an extent he calls her to tell her things that he Dreamt about her life.

She says most of his Dreams comes to Past while they were Dating then. When she went back to school, she told me he called her to come see him but she declined.

I know she loves me very much, she has proven it to me beyond any reasonable doubt but she still has a Soft Spots for her Ex.

Its making us have issues most times. Of recent i saw a dialled log of her ex on her phone. She said she wanted to check on him. It weakened me alot.

But she said it was nothing, even though the ex is actually helping her kid bro for his admission. She claims she only called to tell him that the brother has written his PUME exams...

When i look at her, I have this feeling she still have a soft spot for her ex..i told her can she see her ex call and not pick it up, she could not ansa. I asked her if she still loves him, she could not ansa, she only tell me she cant go back to him, that she loves me..

I know she won't go back to him, but i know this to be sure she still have a Soft spots for her ex..and her ex knows this very well, so he calls her anytime he likes knowing fully well he knows how to talk to her for her to listen.

Anything he tells her she believes him, notwithstanding, anytime he calls her ,she tells me that he called her, am just confused.. I have already told her i cant continue again becuase i cant continue to hurt my self....

Please i need advice

She doesn't love u, she loves the other guy and wishes to go back to him. Take away sentiments and don't be deceived, u are the only person in the relationship, she is not there. Let her go back to the guy peacefully because if she doesn't go now, u will end up with a woman another man will be fucking, and he will Bleep her real good. Use ur head not ur heart.

So, as u Big like dis,....u believe she n dat guy no dey bleep.

LEARNER!!

Women hardly forget their ex. Even if it's 5yrs after d break-up. Una fit still bleep anytime una meet.

Though it depends on how u guys separated but, from ur story I can swear down she still loves him & there are a thousand & one chances they still love each other.

Happy Heartbreak in addy

Sundrus:
No come dey disturb us here over woman way u no ready to marry

I quite agree with you. If he is serioys he should marry. Thats when he can lay claim to her.

doris4u:

U have dated ur gal for 3 years and she is still in contact with her ex, hmmm the truth is that she still has a thing for her ex, am a lady . I know wat am saying.
By now considering the length of time u guys have dated , she is not supposed to be in contact with her ex for any reason.
It's better u pull out little by little if u can for your own sanity.
Only God knows if they are already sleeping with each other behind your back.

Thanks you just said my mind, only God knows if they are already sleeping with each other and broda here doesn't know. Somebody already advised you up there you are welcome to join the single brothers forum any day anytime. It doesn't hurt.

AwkaetitiBabe:
The op was the one pumping her for information. He know she cannot go back to the said ex so why get worked up? Some men think because you dating them, they should be your alpha and omega, things don't work like that. This Op girlfriend might simply be on contact with d said ex because of her brother's admission. And if she cut ties now, I know say this Op no go fit run d admission thing for her brother o.
The op should guard his insecurities.

True.
But if I'm the guy I won't even feel pained or jealous self.
My mind would just be on his help part.
I don't even know the feeling of jealousy or whatever self.

I would just thank the guy for his help and stay on my lane.

Believe girls at your own peril. She still loves and interested in her ex and may be having secret sexual relationship with him.
Girls don't keep only one partner, it is in their DNA to cheat.
My girlfriend was also like that, her phone will always be ringing as if she's a state governor not knowing she was having secret affairs from different guys. I found out one day and she apologised and refused to change.
I THEN MAKE HER MY INTIMACY GADGET. I sex her at will and I am even looking for a way to rub aboniki and hot robb on condom for her itchy puna. Also make her your intimacy gadget. That's my wonderful advice

O will advice you to have some patience and see if the calls persist after her brother gain the admission

justine94:
I undastand. I love her very much..like she undastand me well..i plan to marry her ...i know she loves me very she has proven that to me which i know..but this ex thing is jst giving us issues..she only tells me the only reason she still relates with him it because of her brothers admission..and he is also using it as a meduim to still contact her..

Issues like this are so easy to resolve, u just need to make use of reverse psychology,by playing her at her own game
Stop acting like a sissy that is so desperate in making the relationship work at all costs,you two being together ought to be a blessing rather than a privilege she feels you should be grabbing with both hands, she isn't doing you a favour by dating you.
Sit her down an let her know the man you were before you started dating her, let her know there are some of your exes you still do have a soft spot for an there is a reason you letting the whole thing slide.

Try acting like an alpha male for once even though you are not one

Slimpotter:

Batman beyond

batman of the future aktuali

justine94:
I thank you all for your suggestions..advices..knocks on the head etc...if there is any guy that neva feels insecure abt ladies its me...i give my date alot of time and space..i have told her i dont want anymore..she has cried and begged me that she has notin for her ex ,dat notin can go on between them..but i ask her can you say dat in front of him..she said yes..she can..now she says even the call was just for the broda admisn stuff..dt it was just a 45 seconds call which she showed me though..but i kn the message dat call alone has presented to the ex..she still cares dts why she called..u kn how guys think..she feels she has given alot into the relationship with me for it all to end..this girl loves me alot dat i know..som1 here said i sud wait if her brodas get admsn den see how it goes from dia...she promised neva to talk to him again..but it aint abt the conversation only...its abt d feelings..or connection..shes a very emotional lady like very emotional. She once told me a certain time b4 dat if i leave her she dont kn wat she wd do to herself...i dont want to tell her block her ex from callin her...its sound possesive since am not yt married to her...this drama is just too much

Do me one favour.Try goin through her chats with her ex on whatsapp or any social platform.You'll get your answer there.

Oga allow her go

no come here dey disturb us if u get married o

I have not seen any chats between them on whatsapp b4...am not sure dey do...

AarewaMafia:


Do me one favour.Try goin through her chats with her ex on whatsapp or any social platform.You'll get your answer there.

justine94:
My Gf of Almost 3 years, her Ex still calls her anytime he likes even though not Frequently, she once told me she felt bad about him that he did nothing to her, she so much believe him to an extent he calls her to tell her things that he Dreamt about her life.

She says most of his Dreams comes to Past while they were Dating then. When she went back to school, she told me he called her to come see him but she declined.

I know she loves me very much, she has proven it to me beyond any reasonable doubt but she still has a Soft Spots for her Ex.

Its making us have issues most times. Of recent i saw a dialled log of her ex on her phone. She said she wanted to check on him. It weakened me alot.

But she said it was nothing, even though the ex is actually helping her kid bro for his admission. She claims she only called to tell him that the brother has written his PUME exams...

When i look at her, I have this feeling she still have a soft spot for her ex..i told her can she see her ex call and not pick it up, she could not ansa. I asked her if she still loves him, she could not ansa, she only tell me she cant go back to him, that she loves me..

I know she won't go back to him, but i know this to be sure she still have a Soft spots for her ex..and her ex knows this very well, so he calls her anytime he likes knowing fully well he knows how to talk to her for her to listen.

Anything he tells her she believes him, notwithstanding, anytime he calls her ,she tells me that he called her, am just confused.. I have already told her i cant continue again becuase i cant continue to hurt my self....

Please i need advice

And the bolded should be the most important thing to you because at the end of the day you have to look out for yourself and your sanity as there appears to be a kind of triangulation going on. It might be innocent from your girl's end but her inability to have a complete emotional detachment from her ex is not a very good sign.

You could give time to see if she's able to detach emotionally. And I'm wondering is the ex still single?

Serious minded people always care for their new relationship or marriage.
I have no business with my Ex(Loser).

justine94:
Bro i swear ..i don date close to God forgive me 20 diff girls..but ds one is diff lik very diff from others..she complements alot of things about me ..shes soft and knows how to love a man with evrtin she got both financially and otherwise..she practically the few of girls i dated den that can spend 10k for just eating for both of us which she will pay for..funny enough i still owe her 15k like ds .well doesnt even ask abt it anyway.she has many postives and very lil flaws to point at..its just this ex issues dat often brings prblm btw us.my mind is if i decide to get married today i wont tink twice abt taking her to d altar...i dont knw wat to do..i dont want to loose her because gurls lk dat are hard to come by..very hard..but i dnt want to tink with my heart but wt my head..

na ur head dey put doubt for ur mind, so use ur head b4 sorry go become ur name. One thing u must know na say boyfriend & girlfriend relationship different from marriage.

justine94:
I have not seen any chats between them on whatsapp b4...am not sure dey do...

bro I advise you not to check. You won't be happy.

She says she has done dat..dt she has no attachment for him..but i dont blv dat completely

Adarrel:


And the bolded should be the most important thing to you because at the end of the day you have to look out for yourself and your sanity as there appears to be a kind of triangulation going on. It might be innocent from your girl's end but her inability to have a complete emotional detachment from her ex is not a very good sign.

You could give time to see if she's able to detach emotionally. And I'm wondering is the ex still single?

justine94:
I have not seen any chats between them on whatsapp b4...am not sure dey do...

Ahaa Bros, that's suspicious ooo...

justine94:
She says she has done dat..dt she has no attachment for him..but i dont blv dat completely

you're very funny man

justine94:
My Gf of Almost 3 years, her Ex still calls her anytime he likes even though not Frequently, she once told me she felt bad about him that he did nothing to her, she so much believe him to an extent he calls her to tell her things that he Dreamt about her life.

She says most of his Dreams comes to Past while they were Dating then. When she went back to school, she told me he called her to come see him but she declined.

I know she loves me very much, she has proven it to me beyond any reasonable doubt but she still has a Soft Spots for her Ex.

Its making us have issues most times. Of recent i saw a dialled log of her ex on her phone. She said she wanted to check on him. It weakened me alot.

But she said it was nothing, even though the ex is actually helping her kid bro for his admission. She claims she only called to tell him that the brother has written his PUME exams...

When i look at her, I have this feeling she still have a soft spot for her ex..i told her can she see her ex call and not pick it up, she could not ansa. I asked her if she still loves him, she could not ansa, she only tell me she cant go back to him, that she loves me..

I know she won't go back to him, but i know this to be sure she still have a Soft spots for her ex..and her ex knows this very well, so he calls her anytime he likes knowing fully well he knows how to talk to her for her to listen.

Anything he tells her she believes him, notwithstanding, anytime he calls her ,she tells me that he called her, am just confused.. I have already told her i cant continue again becuase i cant continue to hurt my self....

Please i need advice

This issue is not new... Just to give her a benefit of doubt, was she in contact with her ex before her brother's admission came up ??, If yes take action now...if no, allow the admission process to come and go and see if the links btw both still continues...Is her brother a kid that her ex can't relate admission issue with ...Is her brother admission more valuable than your feelings , even with this SNIPER period ??...seat her down and ask questions to know what shes still missing in her ex that u don't have tell her to be frank with u, that u would be ready to do it...What kinda admission be require calls ??, Is her ex the VC ??, So her brother can't read to pass PUTME ??...what about if he is doing it to get a pay back ??, and maybe it would be to.drill something ??...I understand how.u feel, but if u r not.man enough to think and take action , u may just be floating because women r to secretive, maybe that her ex is now doing well financially, and he is begging her to come back , while she can't forget the pain she went through with him, she still remember that u r not yet married which her ex may be promising her trying to prove a changed person via trying to help her brother with admission which may be the final stroke on u...wake up bro and be man, u know better, be frank to yourself and act now

TerryMcGinis:
guy break up with her and join our single bastards crew

Ma nigga

justine94:
My Gf of Almost 3 years, her Ex still calls her anytime he likes even though not Frequently, she once told me she felt bad about him that he did nothing to her, she so much believe him to an extent he calls her to tell her things that he Dreamt about her life.

She says most of his Dreams comes to Past while they were Dating then. When she went back to school, she told me he called her to come see him but she declined.

I know she loves me very much, she has proven it to me beyond any reasonable doubt but she still has a Soft Spots for her Ex.

Its making us have issues most times. Of recent i saw a dialled log of her ex on her phone. She said she wanted to check on him. It weakened me alot.

But she said it was nothing, even though the ex is actually helping her kid bro for his admission. She claims she only called to tell him that the brother has written his PUME exams...

When i look at her, I have this feeling she still have a soft spot for her ex..i told her can she see her ex call and not pick it up, she could not ansa. I asked her if she still loves him, she could not ansa, she only tell me she cant go back to him, that she loves me..

I know she won't go back to him, but i know this to be sure she still have a Soft spots for her ex..and her ex knows this very well, so he calls her anytime he likes knowing fully well he knows how to talk to her for her to listen.

Anything he tells her she believes him, notwithstanding, anytime he calls her ,she tells me that he called her, am just confused.. I have already told her i cant continue again becuase i cant continue to hurt my self....

Please i need advice

The summary of this post incase u r not fan of over-reading.... Is that local man is studying a girl.

pcguru1:


And you would have the same energy when it's the other way around ?. Just a guy still close to his female ex is enough to let any lady go jealous. If this situation were reversed for you, would you honestly stay claim without having second thoughts ?

As long as I am confident that he loves me and can't go back to his ex, I'll leave matter. I won't be bugging him about her always. Personally I detest stress abeg, if he's helping her, fine.

deltateam:


So if one of the conditions for the admission is to raise legs for her ex. Won't you?

This is where self worth and value comes to play. Personally, I block and delete exes. Don't be friends with me ni

Chukapage:
you sef won't you be insecure when your man is always contacting his ex frequently for one thing or the other? Op is human ,he is feeling insecure there is nothing "Men" about it don't try to "Genderize" it..Op trust your instincts ,guts and intiuiton believe me bro when your instincts start telling you something is wrong something is wrong!

Mind you it's the man that is contacting the lady so if you wanna twist it, it will be the lady disturbing my boyfriend.... Personally I wouldn't lose sleep over anything as long as I'm aware of that's going on. If he decides to go back, tor. I'm simply fatalistic.

this is why I can't marry a non Virgin in my house


I can bet it that your gf gave her Virginity to that dude. my ex despite pleading and convincing her I'm for real but she left me with broken heart, till date I still dey enter her center of excellence anytime I want despite she's in a serious relationship


when I'm done with her I'll throw her thrash back to the final consumer

TaminaliaCatapa:


Bro TF?

You are not thinking properly because you have programmed ur brain into believing she is d only wife material left in Naija..that’s your fvcking problem here. Lemme tell you, what if she’s faking those shytes...she spends 10k in food blablabla....these ladies dey change o.....u no read one story here last week on NL?

I know u sef na player, na d point above dey make u dey do like mumu.

Tell her to direct all communications to her junior brother abi can’t her junior bro oversee it himself ni? Tell her next time you see her talk to the ex, it’s d end of ur fvcking relationship
OR
Since she wants to be a biatçh about it, fake loving her, find true love somewhere else and continue banging her puna...always remind her if she has called her ex everyday, if her answer is no, tell her to do as it’s only responsible to do so. By the time she noticed the asshole you are, the table would have turned in your favor and she’d be begging you to be real with her again.

That’s how to shatter and turn tables around!

abeg share the link to that story for me..

I don go romance section i no see