frostylook:
Any man that brings a marriage proposal with such conditions is playing games. The whole arrangement smells of desperation and guy man is trying to cash in on it. While I support your sister's stance on the matter, she should dial back on the clubbing... that's not responsible of her.
And to be frank, you seem to be the desperate one in the story. I felt the pressure coming from from the way you typed. Leave your sister to decide for herself and so far she is making the better judgement call. Learn from her.

Yea, I think this one is playing game but these days men come with this pregnancy condition.
But giving a woman with two kids this condition is definitely a game.

FamousMonk:
Question your sister.
Pressure her to confess.
I think she is no longer fertile and she has lost her womb due to so many abortion attempts..
She strikes me like someone who has an itchy and antsy kpekus.
But nevertheless,marriage should be built on love,communication and trust which this union is obviously bereft of.
You might just be encouraging her to toe the path of perdition.
No sane woman needs a man to survive in this modern day..

Feminist spotted

blackangel0403:
Hi guys, I i need your sincere advice pls.

My sister is a divorcee with two kids she is solely responsible for. Life has not been fair with her.

Finally, God brought a cute man who is based in UK her way, the man is willing to marry her and take her to the states, he has come to see our parents and also took her to see his, they have agreed to tie the nut in December this year.

The guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry. Note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her.

Sincerely speaking, she wants to settle down with him but her problem is that she doesn’t want to get pregnant and stay alone all by herself pending when the man will take her and the kids to the uk, she wants to take in when she has moved to the uk, but then she is scared she might loose him before then as they are already having misunderstandings been that my sister likes hanging out with friends and going clubbing which doesn’t go well with the guy.

Now the guy is having double mind on if he can go ahead with the marriage or not, I have adviced her to take in for the man and by dec her dowry will be paid but she is adamant, pls what is the best option for her in this situation?


Take in for this guy now he is in Nigeria and secure him or wait till December and risk loosing him, note he is a very cute guy and every girls dream, my sister also is tired of life and wants to settle down, if she takes in now, by dec her pregnancy will be 3 months, she is also bothered abt wat people will say on why she took in befor she was married to the guy, my parents also especially my dad will frown at it but dey don’t know that life has not fair with her and she needs a man to call her own. Should she careless abt my parents and what people will say and take in or wait and do the proper marriage before she takes in?

She is 35 years old with two kids, no other suitor insight too.

Take in is dangerous now o...after the traditional is done by Dec, she can take everything IN

My suggestion will be brief.
No pregnancy till marriage. She should tell the guy its a taboo and your parents are against it.


How can she still be clubbing? Den use club swear for her? Tufiakwa!

piroux:


You know what? You are right and we are wrong. You obviously know better than we do and we are advising you based on our own perceptions, personal and 3rd party experiences. Nonetheless, you might not be aware of it but your view is not only seemingly limited, you also make your sister come off as irresponsible. You make it seem like this man coming into her life and wanting her is a miracle that will never happen again. Is she that bad?
If you think of anyone this way, you will never be able to look at them objectively. You will keep thinking they are heaven and earth.
How does "Get pregnant before marriage" convince a woman that a man is here to stay, biko? Even if abroad things weren't involved, it reeks of lack of trust. I would immediately walk away from any man who suggested that to me, even if he says he was joking.
That you don't have a problem with it speaks volumes about your morals and those of your sister.
And what culture required a man bring a ready made family from outside? I didn't get that part.
Just thread softly. You can push and advice and encourage, if it doesn't work out, chances are your sister will blame you. Especially if she is one who doesn't take responsibility for her self.

Ur post reeks of intelligence and of an intelligent and sound mind, biko are u married no vex lol

blackangel0403:
they are already having misunderstandings been that my sister likes hanging out with friends and going clubbing which doesn’t go well with the guy.

[b][/b]

The bolded summarize your sister's life, she's not prepared for a marriage yet, she is not coned for marriage and who knows the above may be the cause of her first divorce and if she goes into this one she's probably likely to get divorce again because from your sentence her lifestyle does not go well with the guy and she knows it and it might be her little secret fear that she can express.

To me if she must get into marriage to anyone she must get herself prepare by letting go this lifestyle or discuss it with him and if he agrees to such lifestyle which i doubt then she can go ahead.

blackangel0403:
Hi guys, I i need your sincere advice pls.

My sister is a divorcee with two kids she is solely responsible for. Life has not been fair with her.

Finally, God brought a cute man who is based in UK her way, the man is willing to marry her and take her to the states, he has come to see our parents and also took her to see his, they have agreed to tie the nut in December this year.

The guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry. Note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her.

Sincerely speaking, she wants to settle down with him but her problem is that she doesn’t want to get pregnant and stay alone all by herself pending when the man will take her and the kids to the uk, she wants to take in when she has moved to the uk, but then she is scared she might loose him before then as they are already having misunderstandings been that my sister likes hanging out with friends and going clubbing which doesn’t go well with the guy.

Now the guy is having double mind on if he can go ahead with the marriage or not, I have adviced her to take in for the man and by dec her dowry will be paid but she is adamant, pls what is the best option for her in this situation?


Take in for this guy now he is in Nigeria and secure him or wait till December and risk loosing him, note he is a very cute guy and every girls dream, my sister also is tired of life and wants to settle down, if she takes in now, by dec her pregnancy will be 3 months, she is also bothered abt wat people will say on why she took in befor she was married to the guy, my parents also especially my dad will frown at it but dey don’t know that life has not fair with her and she needs a man to call her own. Should she careless abt my parents and what people will say and take in or wait and do the proper marriage before she takes in?

She is 35 years old with two kids, no other suitor insight too.

Your sister should stop clubbing ASAP.

you don't deaqr God with pregnancy.

uvie66:
I concur, what is all these myopic nonsense of 'taking in' and 'security' and how will it be possible for the guy to take a woman with two kids to the UK like that, the guy must be extremely wealthy to be able to achieve this.

It will cost him millions of Naira because those kids are not his. Those kids will not be issued a visa to travel without their father’s consent. So the lady can not just get married and leave Nigerian with those kids.

Ur sister is old enough to make her own decision, don't push her.if the so call londoner loves her he should take her to registry first thing first.. Is it love or children he wants from Ur sister? And for d fact Ur sis had two kids already what she needs most now is even love and affection. U sef dey push Ur sister abi u wan get londoner in-law by force

It's obvious that the guy has seen your sister's desperation to marry and also for fact that he's in UK and she is in Nigeria so that's double factors that the guy is using to play on your sister.
I'm a guy, I know how it works... the guy has really seen her lapses ....and .that the value of the lady is vast depreciating and she needs help so the guy came pretentiously as her Messiah. But I can tell you for free .....all nah ruse...
Come to think of it...if I love a lady or a lady love a guy ....they will not be fixative ....my broda, there is room to blend some things in your life in order to suite your partner..for example , I do smoke before my marriage but because I respect the person I married to....i forced myself to quit smoking....it takes two to tangle.

Okay. Why can the guy start the processing of the paper to relocate the lady to UK with him by now... for the fact that they ain't Marry doesn't stop anything if the trust is there...within 2 months or less UK visiting visa will be out ....
My broda the ball is in her court ...3/4 of marriages this days are built on wrong foundation of lies, deceitfulness, cheating, Juju, evil mindedness...etc that's why you marriages don't last anymore...

blackangel0403:
weldone, I am guessing you have a sister? Karma is a bitch. Meanwhile go and google abt the lady Damy Ewa Stratton, the Nigeria woman who got married to the love of her life after two failed marriages that produced four children, when it comes to what men can do, always speak for yourself �

Please don't drag his innocent sister into this, many sisters are paying for what they didn't commit. He will pay for his sins. Nobody will take it on his behalf.

Lol! This is hilarious.


A man who wants to marry her will marry her without strings attached. Who said he must marry her after she is pregnant? The guy probably just wants a baby mama and is using marriage to deceive her. Why can't he wait until they are married? What is he afraid of?

Your sister is right here. There are no guarantees that he will marry her after she gets pregnant.

Allow your sister to follow her heart.Let her not get pregnant for this man.You people who live in Nigeria do not know the realities of abroad because those who return home do not tell you the truth. She should not get pregnant for this man or else she will regret it. I know what I am saying. She Will have 3 children to care for by herself.That man is not a trophy.35 years is not old so why is rushing when she already has her children. Abeg




quote author=blackangel0403 post=81994454]Hi guys, I i need your sincere advice pls.

My sister is a divorcee with two kids she is solely responsible for. Life has not been fair with her.

Finally, God brought a cute man who is based in UK her way, the man is willing to marry her and take her to the states, he has come to see our parents and also took her to see his, they have agreed to tie the nut in December this year.

The guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry. Note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her.

Sincerely speaking, she wants to settle down with him but her problem is that she doesn’t want to get pregnant and stay alone all by herself pending when the man will take her and the kids to the uk, she wants to take in when she has moved to the uk, but then she is scared she might loose him before then as they are already having misunderstandings been that my sister likes hanging out with friends and going clubbing which doesn’t go well with the guy.

Now the guy is having double mind on if he can go ahead with the marriage or not, I have adviced her to take in for the man and by dec her dowry will be paid but she is adamant, pls what is the best option for her in this situation?


Take in for this guy now he is in Nigeria and secure him or wait till December and risk loosing him, note he is a very cute guy and every girls dream, my sister also is tired of life and wants to settle down, if she takes in now, by dec her pregnancy will be 3 months, she is also bothered abt wat people will say on why she took in befor she was married to the guy, my parents also especially my dad will frown at it but dey don’t know that life has not fair with her and she needs a man to call her own. Should she careless abt my parents and what people will say and take in or wait and do the proper marriage before she takes in?

She is 35 years old with two kids, no other suitor insight too.[/quote]

Na wa oh.She says her sister has two children before meeting the man and you are here saying that the sister does not have a womb.


quote author=FamousMonk post=81994535]Question your sister.
Pressure her to confess.
I think she is no longer fertile and she has lost her womb due to so many abortion attempts..
She strikes me like someone who has an itchy and antsy kpekus.
But nevertheless,marriage should be built on love,communication and trust which this union is obviously bereft of.
You might just be encouraging her to toe the path of perdition.
No sane woman needs a man to survive in this

modern day..[/quote]

Who knows if the guy has a wife in UK who he hasn't been able to father any child with and just wants a child from your sister and will later disappear with the child..All this is an assumption but my point is it doesn't make sense for him to want her to get pregnant first..what if she is unable to get pregnant will he still marry her?..The answer is a big NO..your sister isn't a kid anymore and should focus her energy on bettering her life and that of her children. A good man who loves her will come..

Bluehill1051:
The guy is playing her!
No single rich guy will carry another man's responsibility like that, even 2 kids sef and worse, she's a club girl, most probably an olosho.
I used this method once too. The girl actually thought I was her destined husband cuz I made her believe so. She even confessed to me that she has had two abortions for 2 guys. Bcuz of me, she changed her contact even up to her bank alert text number. Her aunt that she stays with and I even talk on phone weekends but most times I try to avoid meeting the family like an expected guest. Initially she'll say the usual let us wait till aft wedding b4 we sex, but then again I'll confuse her. I even promised her some cash the same day she finds out she's pregnant. But all na for play.
Who doesn't want a loyal pussy. It's like eating your cake and having it.
I fukked this girl like a wife!
Not once did we use CD. Las las I added my own to her collections of abortions!

Wickedness !!

JeffreyJames:
I wonder who came up with the idea that being married means "settling down" . What an irony lol


OP when condition don dey enter to getting married, e get as e be o. Is the guy marrying her for the sole purpose of bearing children or he is marrying her because he loves her?

As for me that "take in" before getting married is HorseSh*t. I believe the guy knows how desperate your sister is to "settle down" so he is taking advantage. She should not give in. Make small respect still remain.

Jeffrey? Wow! Quite a long time! How about lanicky, cherryjee, and others?

GraGra247:


So why is it bullshit and what better suggestion do you recommend.

You are crazy for asking this stupid question. Pray your daughter don't toe the same path.

blackangel0403:
bigger slut, you have seen the bigger picture, shove your opinion down your empty pocket, all men aren’t as broke as you are.

hey babe
Why are so harsh on me
Remember today is Sunday

I don't know about the guy's sincerity, but contrary to most views expressed here about pregnancy before marriage condition, guys like me believe in it and apply it to be sure of a lady's fertility before entering the marriage.

The guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry.
Note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her.

The bolded was the only thing I took note of in the post!

Olosho sister

Amumaigwe:
You might also have sisters, cousins, aunts and neices. Whatever a man sows, same he shall reap.

If they have no sense and are greedy hoes, despite the lessons that they have received, na who send them

Sirseedorf:
I'm not happy, life as been unfair to me partially. all the grace I've got is my life and soul, I can even think straight about tomorrow or next. Even without cut I feel a dip pain in me, I feel hopeless and life has let me down. I wish I can see God physically and express my predicaments to him, cause he's the only listener that can hear and give a solution to my pain. please God. even if I can't see you physically, but you can see me spiritually. hear my pain, heal my wound. even if the world has forsaken me, please don't forsake me, even though my joy has forsaken me, please don't abandoned me.



#$aheed write-up

What's troubling you,bro?

Matrimonous:

That guy is absolutely wicked and you were absolutely lenient in your choice of words.
Devils everywhere. Now it will be hard for that girl to trust another guy and get on into another relationship. I really pity her.

You are assuming that she is disciplined enough to reject the baiting

This is the first time I am seeing nairalanders giving sensible advice. I have learnt a lot .

blackangel0403:
Hi guys, I i need your sincere advice pls.

My sister is a divorcee with two kids she is solely responsible for. Life has not been fair with her.

Finally, God brought a cute man who is based in UK her way, the man is willing to marry her and take her to the states, he has come to see our parents and also took her to see his, they have agreed to tie the nut in December this year.

The guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry. Note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her.

Sincerely speaking, she wants to settle down with him but her problem is that she doesn’t want to get pregnant and stay alone all by herself pending when the man will take her and the kids to the uk, she wants to take in when she has moved to the uk, but then she is scared she might loose him before then as they are already having misunderstandings been that my sister likes hanging out with friends and going clubbing which doesn’t go well with the guy.

Now the guy is having double mind on if he can go ahead with the marriage or not, I have adviced her to take in for the man and by dec her dowry will be paid but she is adamant, pls what is the best option for her in this situation?


Take in for this guy now he is in Nigeria and secure him or wait till December and risk loosing him, note he is a very cute guy and every girls dream, my sister also is tired of life and wants to settle down, if she takes in now, by dec her pregnancy will be 3 months, she is also bothered abt wat people will say on why she took in befor she was married to the guy, my parents also especially my dad will frown at it but dey don’t know that life has not fair with her and she needs a man to call her own. Should she careless abt my parents and what people will say and take in or wait and do the proper marriage before she takes in?

She is 35 years old with two kids, no other suitor insight too.

OP, you are suffering from poverty; both of the mind and in status.

Keep playing the devil's advocate. Yeye dey worry u!

tolugar:
My dear op.

That guy has no intentions of taking her to UK.

Na baby mama things he is looking for. Once he takes in and the dowery is paid then voooooommmmm

From one story to another.

Pls don’t push your sis. She know what she is doing. Once she gets to UK she can take in.

Either the guy take it or leave it.

He is looking for naija wife.


it or leave it.
Maybe guy man is looking for naija wife.

Another hangle

If your sister loves herself, she should not make the mistake of getting pregnant for that man.

so what if she's 35and nobody in sight. I wish women would develop this attitude of if one door closes, another one will open. you just said it that she has two kids and life hasn't been fair to her.

if its a woman who has her shit together, she will tell this supposed fiance to look for someone else. all I can see here is someone who wants to marry at all cost and can't seem to let go because he's a good catch, plus cute and working in the UK. has she even asked herself if the man has sensed how desperate she is and wants to prey on her vulnerability.

please I am beginning to talk too much.

blackangel0403:
Hi guys, I i need your sincere advice pls.

My sister is a divorcee with two kids she is solely responsible for. Life has not been fair with her.

Finally, God brought a cute man who is based in UK her way, the man is willing to marry her and take her to the states, he has come to see our parents and also took her to see his, they have agreed to tie the nut in December this year.

The guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry. Note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her.

Sincerely speaking, she wants to settle down with him but her problem is that she doesn’t want to get pregnant and stay alone all by herself pending when the man will take her and the kids to the uk, she wants to take in when she has moved to the uk, but then she is scared she might loose him before then as they are already having misunderstandings been that my sister likes hanging out with friends and going clubbing which doesn’t go well with the guy.

Now the guy is having double mind on if he can go ahead with the marriage or not, I have adviced her to take in for the man and by dec her dowry will be paid but she is adamant, pls what is the best option for her in this situation?


Take in for this guy now he is in Nigeria and secure him or wait till December and risk loosing him, note he is a very cute guy and every girls dream, my sister also is tired of life and wants to settle down, if she takes in now, by dec her pregnancy will be 3 months, she is also bothered abt wat people will say on why she took in befor she was married to the guy, my parents also especially my dad will frown at it but dey don’t know that life has not fair with her and she needs a man to call her own. Should she careless abt my parents and what people will say and take in or wait and do the proper marriage before she takes in?

She is 35 years old with two kids, no other suitor insight too.

If she gets pregnant for him, and all his intentions was just to use her as another babymama...... What would you say or how would you feel?....


If he truly wants to marry her, why does he not want to take her to a registry?

Never trust the heart of a man.........

Life don spoil, I don't blame the man for wanting her to take in before marriage.


They met in a club and you know ladies of these days, they can commit abortion and damage their womb.

I don't blame guys who always go for that option, at least it wasn't like this before.
She already had two kids, that should be an evidence that your sis is fertile but you know she's ras now, club things and handing out.

The guy just want to be sure. But I'll advise not to give in. If he want her he should do marry her.