Sigh... Some men just don't want their wives to be financially independent or progressive.

An act that should receive high commendation and encouragement, is being misconstrued and criticized... Too many married men with self esteem and ego issues. Smh.

I won't be angry she is saving from upkeep money but might be angry if not used used wisely...

It's well

Obason22:
I disagree with u, ur sister is pushing this young man to spend higher so that she can save for different purpose, u and ur mummy came for Omugo for this hardships and u are telling the young man not to complain, he most complain oo, body no be firewood.

We are both entitle to our different opinions however, the arguement here never mentioned about a lady pushing her husband to spend higher than he is suppose to spend. The topic here is about a lady saving from her monthly upkeep provided by the husband. In my opinion she can go ahead and do whatever savings she has to do as long as the house is running as it should.

A prudent woman who can find?.

Cutehector:
you comment with emotions rather than making sense

Then you did not read the sense in the comment! Are you married? Only married people with understanding of how homes are run can get the sense in my comment.

Cantonese:


Then you did not read the sense in the comment! Are you married? Only married people with understanding of how homes are run can get the sense in my comment.

still typing with emotions darling.

Acidosis:


Lol, and the struggling dad may defraud his employer to foot his bills.

Hmm. People don't see the bigger picture. They choose to see a stingy man.

When you give your wife a certain amount of money monthly as upkeep allowance, that doesn't mean all the money should be exhausted every month. Every prudent woman always keeps something in reserve in case of emergency. Any wife who doesn't do that is thoughtless. A man related how his wife would collect money from him even to buy N20 salt. This continued for years. Then he fell ill and had to undergo surgery, but he couldn't foot the bill. He was literally dying. He said he couldn't believe it when his wife brought out the money and paid the bill. Since that date he said he appreciated his wife's uncompromising prudence on housekeeping expenses.

Either he is drunk or stupid or both. Why is he angry, is it worth getting angry at? Shouting at a woman who just came from labour. He is the one who is inconsiderate and selfish.
He is a coconut head, tell him I said so

I don't understand some guys nowadays. That woman is a great wife indeed.

Infact OP, that man should divorce your sister let me marry her.




He's not mature enough to settle down with a woman.

Lots of boys on this thread sha.

You will know those that are men from the comments.

I will not be angry base she is full house wife .

yeyeosoronga:


No Nigerian woman should be a housewife, giving up her dreams, personal development and career for nanny duties/housekeeping and chef duties. Unless of course if your husband is a Dangote or a Danjuma, or if he at least understands you need money of your own and makes provision for it
Most times it ends in tears.
However, many Nigerian men are still not ready for that either. They want all the benefits a full housewife can provide such as childcare, housekeeping, chef duties but still expect the same woman to be at the top of her career with her own money.
Struggling couples should both be working, contributing to the home together financially, in the kitchen, with childcare, housekeeping etc. That way, both will have the opportunity to grow individually.

I do not recall advocating that women be housewives.
The man's earnings are for the upkeep of the house, school fees etal, while the woman's earnings are for her own use. That's how naija women roll, no be so?

The man hasn't said what's eating him up.



As long as the woman doesn't starve the house because of her savings, I don't see anything bad there.

At the end she will still use her savings for the family as whole or herself ( which the man will be given credit for) or send some to her parents which they will
Think that it's from their in law.


It's time una pack una and go. Maybe the man is now tired of una presence.

eTECTIV:
Why would I b angry with her? If she's house keeping and still saving from it den she deserves some accolades.. Na d difference between wife Nd Girlfriend b dat...

On point

lilmax:
of course you will see nothing wrong in it

if it were your brother, your topic will be different

there's nothing wrong in saving, but it seems she got separate plans for it

Well said. She could not hide her bias when narrating the story.

That wife had private plans for the money and that is dishonest, somewhat.

depends,we have two types of wife:

1.a wife that saves upkeeps and use for herself and refuses to lend the husband money when he is broke

2.the one that saves upkeeps for rainy days...and freely gives to the man when he is in need


which one is your sister?



addendum:.I perceive that the wife has not been honest to the man all binitio..if she had the man won't be upset...people trivialise Lita of things,but if you are not plain with your spouse, he/she will not trust you

AfroKnight:


Well said. She could not hide her bias when narrating the story.

That wife had private plans for the money and that is dishonest, somewhat.

it is dishonest. abeg leave that somewhat!!

[s]

Godtschild:
Shut the f^ck up!!!! Are you married? The sister already said the wife has a business. Do you know if that was the arrangement between the woman and her husband?! ”I doubt that” see your yeye mouth what do you know about a dispute between husband and wife??

[/s]

You are the one that should do the shutting up. So it was an agreement between them and he is angry over her saving "change"?He wants his wife to be penniless at every point?

That further burtresses my point, she should face her business, make her own money, contribute her quota to the home and save as she likes. Is this the kind of dispute people have with their husbands? Change? I bind it!!

Godtschild:
lol olodo that's NOT gender equality though. Gender equality means access to equal opportunities regardless of gender. E.g a woman shouldn't be barred from being a pilot and a man shouldn't be barred from being a hairdresser.

Then you can be referred to someone who has the tool but don't know how to use it. You simply follow dictionary definition but don't think out of the box. Okay, gender equality "access to equal rights and opportunities". In this case "right to work - engage in productive activity to earn money". I'm asking her if she lacks such right. Mumu

asdfjklhaha:

even if he's my brother I wouldn't support him. it's totally wrong. does he expect his wife to be begging him for money to settle petty personal needs? she's a woman for crying out loud.

So she deserves to be given money because she is a woman? This is insane.



See, any lady who doesn't have a source of income which she can use to settle her own petty needs has no business in marriage.

babyfaceafrica:
it is dishonest. abeg leave that somewhat!!

I wanted to soften the “dishonest” for sensitive folks.

capitalzero:
is it a crime to save from upkeep money? I have budget for my family-kids, wife,food etc. Budget is budget,I stick with it.. If she is saving the money or sending to her people, that is not my business as long as she uses the money for intended purpose . Some women know to manage money, spending less to get more commodities. There should be reward for wise spending. So let them save remaining change . Life is too short to argue over simple matter.

You should be less contradictory .How is it possible for for a wife to be cutting from money meant for the family upkeep and for instance sending it to her family AND AT THE SAME TIME ,use it for the intended purpose ? what exactly are you saying ?

i will be very happy o!

asdfjklhaha:
Husbands please will you be happy with your wife,if you discover she is saving from the house keep money? Please give reasons.

I went to spend sometime with my elder sister along with my mum cos she just delivered. And recently her husband was quarreling with her it got so serious that mumsy had to intervene. after everything died down, I asked mumsy what happened she said the man was very angry because his wife which is my sister has been saving money from the upkeep money he's been given to her.

that if she had any left overs she should have told him so he'll add it to the next money he'll give and spend less. he said she's selfish and inconsiderate.

for me I don't see any big deal in it cos as a woman a nursing mother she should have some cash in hand.

please what are your views

She should be returning all left over to him at the end of every month so he can spend less otherwise I see it as stealing from the upkeep money simple

ornicus:


I do not recall advocating that women be housewives.
The man's earnings are for the upkeep of the house, school fees etal, while the woman's earnings are for her own use. That's how naija women roll, no be so?

No, that's not how Naija women roll. Working Naija women contribute to the household

yeyeosoronga:


No, that's not how Naija women roll. Working Naija women contribute to the household

when they do, it is at their discretion.

ornicus:


when they do, it is at their discretion.

giving women upkeep should be at the husband discretion too!

Your sister is telling the husband to go steal more so she can save and tagged prudent and osusu wife.

If I provide pocket money for you as a wife aside the upkeep money then your short changing the upkeep money just for saving is greed and unappealing. But if otherwise then save whatever is left of the upkeep money for your use.

princeadams11:

We are both entitle to our different opinions however, the arguement here never mentioned about a lady pushing her husband to spend higher than he is suppose to spend. The topic here is about a lady saving from her monthly upkeep provided by the husband. In my opinion she can go ahead and do whatever savings she has to do as long as the house is running as it should.

she have right based on conditions of her husband, from example my friend is a business man and one day he told me that he keeps 2,000 everyday except on Sunday for his wife aside of money for food so if such woman refuse to save it means bad for her.

asdfjklhaha:
Husbands please will you be happy with your wife,if you discover she is saving from the house keep money? Please give reasons.

I went to spend sometime with my elder sister along with my mum cos she just delivered. And recently her husband was quarreling with her it got so serious that mumsy had to intervene. after everything died down, I asked mumsy what happened she said the man was very angry because his wife which is my sister has been saving money from the upkeep money he's been given to her.

that if she had any left overs she should have told him so he'll add it to the next money he'll give and spend less. he said she's selfish and inconsiderate.

for me I don't see any big deal in it cos as a woman a nursing mother she should have some cash in hand.

please what are your views

As for me
I do advise my wife to save from the money I give to her