livebyday:

Please read my last post aunty
Don't be so salty

I read it. It is trash.

ireneidiva:

Nobody can fix anybody. The word is encourage. Spouses help each other get jobs, get another degree or start businesses.

Helping someone get a job? Next thing I should lecture and teach nuclear physics ?

Is this an academy ? Look I come to a relationship to rest not do more work

luminouz:



Find it here


https://www.nairaland.com/2794994/dear-girls

Lavylily this is someone else's article which you have claimed as your own!!

Nnemuka:
Written by a jambite

I will pass...
Nowadays women are more intelligent than men, look around you even a village woman adds value to herself talk more of a modern girl who is consistently improving herself in her career

What's this local hen yakking about now?

ireneidiva:

I read it. It is trash.

You are a teenager right ?
Don't worry some day you will understand

Post

You sound idealistic and not realistic


My dear I repeat , it is called self development.

This mind set you have is why marriages crash . You have two people of different backgrounds with their own baggage coming to a marriage with expectations?

A marriage or relationship isn't where you go to fix your issues ! You are an adult fix yourself before getting committed to a relationship.

So if you come to me with nothing but culinary skills as your knowledge base then that is entirely your fault

I am not here to fix you, it's hard enough fixing me talkless of you

This is why I always say, not everyone should be in a relationship or marriage! Some people just have the wrong ideology.

Your partner isn't there to fix your issues, this is why alot of relationships in Nigeria feel so stressful and tiring. Because alot of womenhave your mindset and come there with their baggage looking for whom to dump on .

If you are old enough to decide move in with him then you are old enough to have figured out what you need to do to fix your life

I don't understand what is the problem of ladies. I met one two weeks ago, though an old friend of mine. We went on a date. Not even up to two weeks, she has started to bill me.

livebyday:


Helping someone get a job? Next thing I should lecture and teach nuclear physics ?

Is this an academy ? Look I come to a relationship to rest not do more work

Then date your type. Simple.

ireneidiva:

Then date your type. Simple.

I do,and my type have their lives figured out
.they don't come to a relationship seeking assistance

So it feels natural. Yes we support each other but it's natural

Not some one sided chorefest

They don't need sympathy nor are they needy

They are confident, mature African women

That is my type

Or11:


You are welcome, another one

https://www.nairaland.com/2801533/ladies-wise-up

https://www.nairaland.com/2784123/what-okada-men-lagos-look (third post on here)

And there's more, so I guess the real author is unknown.

Wow...you be real FBI.
I knew I read it somewhere before.



Lavylilly, see,i was right!

Ginaz:
Some people will just come and be writing rubbish . That’s how you give men the right to just do anyhow things and get away free.

Which man in his right senses would watch his girlfriend grow up with him with no dreams of her own or even if the lady doesn’t have dreams, he can’t build her up? That means the guy doesn’t care anyway and he is just using the girl for sex.

Girls I would advise you to follow men who have visions, aspirations and a future cos even if you were the most dumbest girl in the whole world, their dreams would rub off on you to make you become better.

Na only empty and wicked boyfriends na fit do that . They are building their lives , they know the girl isn’t making any steps to build hers but would hang around, f***k her for years only to dump her like a trash. If she didn’t have plans, why not leave her ? Why hang around and use her and dump her? It’s very painful .

There is no excuse whatever in the planet that justifies that. It’s very painful and I sympathize with any lady facing this situation.

The man simply would have left her since she wasn’t good enough than to dump her at the last minute.

The writing pain am lol.

ireneidiva:

You and the op are the ones writing trash. Any man that sees that his woman has no plans for her life can encourage her to be a better person.

. And is it wise for a lady to be waiting upon a man before she could get up her feet and find something doing at least to sustain herself?

ireneidiva:

Then date your type. Simple.

Yen yen yen... Local hen

I see a hoe!!! No doubt!

Thank God you caught your shade
Crying like a little Bitch broke boy

livebyday:


I am used to the usual trashy ignorant comment on the forum these days then again there comes around the odd one, the comment so trashy it makes the word trashy seem like a slap on the wrist . A comment like yours is the epitome of that comment. They can't be called trashy as they belong to a subset of a subset of a septic pit of dung

Cheers

livebyday:


I do,and my type have their lives figured out
.they don't come to a relationship seeking assistance

So it feels natural. Yes we support each other but it's natural

Not some one sided chorefest

You just said you support each other. Is it not the point I made? When a husband decides to go back to school and the wife works harder taking care of the home, is that not support? The person going to work everyday that comes back to meet a warm meal at home is not being supported? Think well next time before calling someone's post trash Mr. Adult. Bye

SIR0:
If a lady can stay with me through thick & thin, forget, nothing would make me abandon her except marital unfaithfulness. Even if she's an illiterate, she's worth all the love.

Call her any names you want,

I would rather choose Jonathan's marital life over Buhari's

Very correct point. That last paragraph is SOLID!!!

lavylilly:
So your man tells you he is not planning on having kids or getting married anytime soon as he is still sorting out his life... He tells you he wants to have his second degree, a proper house and a bigger car first. You sit there smiling with just a birth certificate thinking how 'lucky' a wife you'll be?
With the little he has, you ask for Brazilian hair and designer shoes. He goes to work and then straight to class after work. He leaves you in pyjamas in the morning and returns to find you in the same pyjamas in the evening. While he studies you watch 'African Magic' and 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians'. He comes back home to find pap and chicken in the microwave. The only serious conversation you ever have is about the type of groceries you guys need.

The only advice you give him is "Babe you need to buy a new pair of socks, the ones you bought last time are torn." Nothing intelligent comes out of your mouth. No plans of making your own life better. Yes you're are pretty but this days is all about what you are made off not beauty even pretty ladies don't marry handsome men if their pocket is empty, no doubt about that. But so is every second girl passing by.

Don't you realise that you're not doing anything a maid can't do? When he finishes studying, the first thing he will do is REPLACE HIS MAID. Because then he would be able to afford a maid and have a PROPER WIFE who has brains. That's when we are going hear your infamous last words, "I was with him through thick and thin when he had nothing, now that he is successful he thinks I am nothing."

Truth is, yes, you're right. You've always been NOTHING but a maid to him.

My dear, empower yourself to be the woman a successful man wants to be with... a woman who would be able to sustain her home if anything happens to his job or his health!

Good afternoon!

Ure not lying bro.

livebyday:
You sound idealistic and not realistic

My dear I repeat , it is called self development.

This kind set you have is why marriages crash . You have two people of different backgrounds with their own baggage coming to a marriage with expectations?

A marriage or relationship isn't where you go to fix your issues ! You are an adult fix yourself before getting committed to a relationship.

So if you come to me with nothing but culinary skills as your knowledge base then that is entirely your fault

I am not here to fix you, it's hard enough fixing me talkless of you

This is why I always say, not everyone should be in a relationship or marriage! Some people just have the wrong ideology.

Your partner isn't there to fix your issues, this is why alot of relationships in Nigeria feel so stressful and tiring. Because alot of womenhave your mindset and come there with their baggage looking for whom to dump on .

If you are old enough to decide move in with him then you are old enough to have figured out what you need to doing to fix your life

Thats exactly what I wanted to tell the lady who challenged OP. That anybody who is old enough to move in with a guy should use her tongue to count her teeth. Are you a baby that somebody needs to tell you to get a job or read a book?

BUT the problem is that nobody is perfect. If you claim to love somebody, you love them and their flaws. Your love should spur you on to help them in areas where they are failing. If you cant give somebody a simple suggestion or nudge in the right direction, then you do not love them. Simple.

You are actually the one who is being idealistic and not realistic. Do you think the perfect partner, without any preconceived notions, baggage, problems, failures, blind spots, irritating habits, irrationalities and idiosyncracies is going to fall into your lap, just like that

By the way "fix yourself before you get into a relationship" is not feasible. Fix yourself how Some people need to improve their organisational skills. Some people need to lose weight. Some people need to improve their cooking. Some people need to be less prone to anger.

So how do you know which of those characteristics will be the straw that breaks the camels back in your next relationship? If what youre saying were true, then no high-powered career men and women would divorce. No pastors would divorce either. Because being a classy lady or a successful man is all that matters right?

What if youve read all the books in the world, can speak 10 languages but are useless in the kitchen? And the man doesnt tell you he hates your food until he breaks up with you After how many years....thats rubbish my dear!

You shouldnt be making this about LADIES only because anybody starting out with a partner should enter expecting to help that person to be better. How can you claim to love somebody if you arent ready to do that

luminouz:


Yen yen yen... Local hen

You raise local hens or what?

Only broke men would like that.

Since I believe it is my job to provide for my family, now and in future after I'm gone; I prefer my wife to stay at home, beautify herself for me, and provide me with slutty sex when I want it; and take care of our children while I'm hustling. That's what I married for.

Of course being human and not a sex doll that can be kept in the cupboard when not in use, she can work and hustle for herself in her spare time if that's what keeps her from getting bored, or she can take up knitting or flower arranging or boxing or figure skating or telemundo watching; as long as she makes sure that she doesn't cheat, her activities don't affect our sex life, and our children's welfare is not compromised, I don't really care.

ireneidiva:

You just said you support each other. Is it not the point I made? When a husband decides to go back to school and the works harder taking care of the home, is that not support? The person going to work everyday that comes back to meet a warm meal at home is not being supported? Think well next time before calling someone's post trash Mr. Adult. Bye

You confuse supporting each other with adopting a child in the name.of your girl friend.

Fix your own damn life, I am here and have my responsibilities too, I have got sibblings, cousins and other extended family , sick family members but you also want me to add drawing up a life plan for you to all that?

Don't forget work, I have so much work load and because I can't help you plan how to fix your life it makes me a bad person ?

Because I realize you are too lazy to fix your own life and I want to move on then I am a bad man?

Go figure

ireneidiva:

You raise local hens or what?

You are the local hen babe

JONNYSPUTE:

. And is it wise for a lady to be waiting upon a man before she could get up her feet and find something doing at least to sustain herself?

Where did i say it is wise? Why should anyone date such a girl in the first place?

livebyday:


You sound idealistic and not realistic


My dear I repeat , it is called self development.

This kind set you have is why marriages crash . You have two people of different backgrounds with their own baggage coming to a marriage with expectations?

A marriage or relationship isn't where you go to fix your issues ! You are an adult fix yourself before getting committed to a relationship.

So if you come to me with nothing but culinary skills as your knowledge base then that is entirely your fault

I am not here to fix you, it's hard enough fixing me talkless of you

This is why I always say, not everyone should be in a relationship or marriage! Some people just have the wrong ideology.

Your partner isn't there to fix your issues, this is why alot of relationships in Nigeria feel so stressful and tiring. Because alot of womenhave your mindset and come there with their baggage looking for whom to dump on .

If you are old enough to decide move in with him then you are old enough to have figured out what you need to doing to fix your life

Because you have been fixed before entering marriage or relationship, that means you can never have fault then need to be fixed again while in marriage or relationship.

Let's assume you have fixed yourself before marriage and then after some years in marriage, you have fault and need to be fixed. I'm pretty sure you will divorce so that you can fix yourself because marriage is not a place to fix issues. Are you going to be divorcing every time you have fault because marriage is not a place to fix issues?

livebyday:



You confuse supporting each other with adopting a child in the name.of your girl friend.

Fix your own damn life, I am here and have my responsibilities too, I have got sibblings, cousins and other extended family , sick family members but you also want me to add drawing up a life plan for you to all that?

Don't forget work, I have so much work load and because I can't help you plan how to fix your life it makes me a bad person ?

Because I realize you are too lazy to fix your own life and I want to move on then I am a bad man?

Go figure

Lol...you really have time sha.

Me,i just wanna troll to my heart's content.

Midas01:
There is not "pained" about what you person you quoted wrote. When y'all lack proper arguments, you resort to the "you sound pained" rhetoric.


Learn to condemn what is evil regardless of gender. How can a man use a lady for years who stuck by him through thick and thin only to dump her later claiming she has no vision? When he was fvcking her he didn't know?

Look who is talking, she is pained because this her second comment condemning the op. So because you have sex with a woman then u must marry her. Did anybody put a gun to her face to stay with him. People who reason like you are nothing but male apologist.

With all due respect there's nothing wrong in selling shoes and bag online, so if you want to chase clout think of something smart and stop demeaning people's Hustle.

Davash222:
When they’re done Hoeing, they turn to feminists and start to sell Bags, Wigs and Weavon on WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook. That’s their meaning of empowerment and Independent.
men are getting wiser now, Una go hear am!

Ginaz:
Please what I hate most is general misconceptions. It’s not every woman who did nothing while the man was hustling , some women literally did odd jobs , side hustles and other things to make their lives better .

Some went to school, really hustle as much as the man. I hate stupid talks like these , do you people think women are brainless and useless? Majority I see Omo, dem Dey hustle and their bfs broke like mad.

You guys should stop preaching what you don’t know . My mom’s friend is a hustler , singlehandedly paid for rent for those years the guy was broke and hustling , did one or two things for the ungrateful guy only for him to abscond with another girl . Wasted her youthful years for nothing.

As for now sef, I won’t advise any girl to put up with a guy for any reasons cos of statements like these.

Some mumu will just write up and come to say you only asked for Brazilian hairs and shoes like they knew you or stayed with you in the house to know that.

All the girls I Dey see for street dem Dey hustle . Dem be hustlers , they gat dreams. Stop the stereotype!!!!

Just as there are good for nothing men, there are good for nothing women too.

On a ratio of 80% , girls Dey hustle even in relationships.

I don't know why this write up is paining u so much. This is not a generalisation. Some ladies are like this and need to read messages like this. You are also right about ladies that hustle, even in relationships. There are quite a lot. When u see messages like these don't get pissed off. Just keep in mind that it's not for everyone. That u hustle or someone u know hustles doesn't mean all ladies are hardworking. No one piece of advice fits everyone in life cos people have different problems ok...so chill

luminouz:



You are the local hen babe

I don't understand this post please. You have to live with local hens or be one to know how they behave. Are you or your sisters and future or present daughters hens? What is a local hen? Do we have foreign hens?

midnighter:


Thats exactly what I wanted to tell the lady who challenged OP. That anybody who is old enough to move in with a guy should use her tongue to count her teeth. Are you a baby that somebody needs to tell you to get a job or read a book?

BUT the problem is that nobody is perfect. If you claim to love somebody, you love them and their flaws. Your love should spur you on to help them in areas where they are failing. If you cant give somebody a simple suggestion or nudge in the right direction, then you do not love them. Simple.

You are actually the one who is being idealistic and not realistic. Do you think the perfect partner, without any preconceived notions, baggage, problems, failures, blind spots, irritating habits, irrationalities and idiosyncracies is going to fall into your lap, just like that

By the way "fix yourself before you get into a relationship" is not feasible. Fix yourself how Some people need to improve their organisational skills. Some people need to lose weight. Some people need to improve their cooking. Some people need to be less prone to anger.

So how do you know which of those characteristics will be the straw that breaks the camels back in your next relationship? If what youre saying were true, then no high-powered career men and women would divorce. No pastors would divorce either. Because being a classy lady or a successful man is all that matters right?

What if youve read all the books in the world, can speak 10 languages but are useless in the kitchen? And the man doesnt tell you he hates your food until he breaks up with you After how many years....thats rubbish my dear!

You shouldnt be making this about LADIES only because anybody starting out with a partner should enter expecting to help that person to be better. How can you claim to love somebody if you arent ready to do that

This is my issue with Nigerian women !

A partner is not your life coach or career mentor ! Find those on LinkedIn!
I need mentoring , I need career coaching too..
Small wonder Nigerian relationship and marriage are in crisis.
Imagine two people both in need of coaching and mentoring in a boat angry at each other because the other isnt coaching or mentoring the other ?

This is the case with alot of Nigerians marriages and relationships today. Listen ladies fix your own lives !
Take some time off following the Kardashians or make up Instagram videos and focus ..

Take two minutes to write out a life plan !

Geez

Ginaz:
Some people will just come and be writing rubbish . That’s how you give men the right to just do anyhow things and get away free.

Which man in his right senses would watch his girlfriend grow up with him with no dreams of her own or even if the lady doesn’t have dreams, he can’t build her up? That means the guy doesn’t care anyway and he is just using the girl for sex.

Girls I would advise you to follow men who have visions, aspirations and a future cos even if you were the most dumbest girl in the whole world, their dreams would rub off on you to make you become better.

Na only empty and wicked boyfriends na fit do that . They are building their lives , they know the girl isn’t making any steps to build hers but would hang around, f***k her for years only to dump her like a trash. If she didn’t have plans, why not leave her ? Why hang around and use her and dump her? It’s very painful .

There is no excuse whatever in the planet that justifies that. It’s very painful and I sympathize with any lady facing this situation.

The man simply would have left her since she wasn’t good enough than to dump her at the last minute.

Lol, the way ladies twist a write up to their favour. I think every Nigerian girl is a gifted lawyer, very good in twisting stories. I fear una.

lavylilly:
Sir, provide link to bck up your claims.

It's a shame you plagiarized this beautiful article verbatim and still had the gall to go defensive when called out by luminouz.


Shame dey catch me on your behalf.