cococandy:
Also, getting married early does not stop anyone from seeking financial freedom. My point is whatever they do, they can be taught to never settle for being home raising kids and not making their own money since the Nigerian man will always want to short change them at the end of the day.

You folks are just arguing against logic.

cc @plead

HarunaWest:

my dad is married to two women and so..what's the big deal...Men marry more than two wives nowadays both Christian's and Muslims so?..... Everyone is managing their homes peacefully....There's something more to this....it's not about the second wife.

Reffone:
Cause we live in total lack while my dad and his mistress lives in a fortress

safarigirl:


As long as he has dependents, he cannot exclude them from his will, irrespective of manipulation, or the Will will be invalid.

Logobenz:
Na em be say your papa no get the kind money you make us feel he has.
It is impossible to be a dependent of a "BIG MAN" and still be in the kind of lack you are talking about,whether he wants to give you or not.
Or you guys are complete idiots.
If he gives nothing,atleast his name gives you credibility which can be turned to money if the dependents have working brains.
I won't be surprised if you don't have a brain sha,since you can't convince your own mother to avoid ordinary divorce.
I really hate dull people tbh....
Smh.

safarigirl:


As long as he has dependents, he cannot exclude them from his will, irrespective of manipulation, or the Will will be invalid.

Logobenz:
Don't make this a Nigerian thing.
No man in the world like a liability in the name of housewife

donbachi:
dumo vs stepmother.

cococandy:


I didn’t make it a Nigerian thing so to say. I simply stated that young girls should learn from this thread and then plead quoted me to say this is Nigeria not USA. Nairalanders are fond of leaving your point to attack where you’re posting from. As if that makes your point invalid.

As for liability, some men want working wives, some want house wives, some women want one or the other. A housewife is not a liability when the staying at home is planned well with a purpose. Not all working wives are independent. Different situations require different approaches.

But yes I’ll always encourage a NIGERIAN woman to get her own money since our laws are yet to advance to the stage where stay-at-home moms are protected in the case of a breakup.

Do we have community laws in Nigeria? Where everything I own and everything my husband owns will be split equitably in the case of a divorce (regardless of who caused the divorce) so that no one gets cheated? are we at the point where everyone understands this and we don’t have to talk about it all the time?

If we don’t have such laws yet and our mindsets are not there yet, then my advice still stands. No Nigerian girl should agree to be a housewife for any man. They don’t like them like that.

NoToPile:


I hope the ladies are learning ooo

They said staying at home and taking care of kids doesn't translate to helping the man build.

American wonder.

Plead:


Those laws will never be enacted in Nigeria. We just gats deal with reality

midnighter:


You need to read Slaywifes diary to know that you are actually the biggest idiot in this thread.

Plead:


The dependants are the children,the wife can be excluded.

MISSCONGENIALITY:
It doesn't and will never be. So any lady accepting the job if a stay at home idle wife should know that she's doing herself no good. No man will even notice your contribution to the family. If she's capable of taking care of herself, she can move out if that will make her happy.
Ladies be wise, don't stay idle in the name of marriage. Get something doing let money be entering your account. Don't give all your money to your husband because minus devorce, t u still need personal money.

MISSCONGENIALITY:
It doesn't and will never be. So any lady accepting the job if a stay at home idle wife should know that she's doing herself no good. No man will even notice your contribution to the family. If she's capable of taking care of herself, she can move out if that will make her happy.
Ladies be wise, don't stay idle in the name of marriage. Get something doing let money be entering your account. Don't give all your money to your husband because minus devorce, t u still need personal money.

safarigirl:


The wife cannot he excluded. She is a beneficiary by virtue of being his lawful wife and the mother of thee children. Even extended family like brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces could be included, how much more the wife.

He cannot lawfully exclude her.

cococandy:
Stay at home wives are not idle but the rest of your points stands true

Logobenz:
I don't read meaningless books,I walk and talk reality.
My mom didn't ask for severance when she had her own mishap,since she had the capacity to take VERY GOOD CARE of all 7 of us,plus extended family join.
Weak women that can only survive on severance.
I spit on the senseless gang men...
If you don't know that the names of people you are attached to can open doors for a person with brains, whether the person gives them bread or not, then I'm afraid you are even dumber than the OP and her supporters.
Spits!
Feminists online,dependent retards in reality .
Smh....

cococandy:
And it’s funny because?

safarigirl:


The wife cannot he excluded. She is a beneficiary by virtue of being his lawful wife and the mother of thee children. Even extended family like brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces could be included, how much more the wife.

He cannot lawfully exclude her.

cococandy:
Stay at home wives are not idle but the rest of your points stands true

MISSCONGENIALITY:
I've seen women who have been married a long time and they stay at home doing nothing. Some done have kids yet. I was telling one to go an acquire a skill if she doesn't want to do a paid job but she told me she can't work. She's at home blowing like a balloon and tomorrow now she will claim she deserve part of of the man's assets makana o bu wife. Who wife help

Logobenz:
They aren't idle but unproductive.
Do you know all they do that keeps them faux-busy can be solved by a 30-40k a month by means of hiring proper help? In Nigeria that is.
Jesus christ!!

MISSCONGENIALITY:
I've seen women who have been married a long time and they stay at home doing nothing. Some done have kids yet. I was telling one to go an acquire a skill if she doesn't want to do a paid job but she told me she can't work. She's at home blowing like a balloon and tomorrow now she will claim she deserve part of of the man's assets makana o bu wife. Who wife help

Plead:


Leave me alone oh

farady:
OP no need talking to any lawyer. If the intent is to see what she can slice out of your dad estates, then I think it would be an excersice in futility and waste of money.

Instead, let her call you guys (her children), build a strong bond amongst you guys and pray for you guys to be successful in your individual endeavours.

Above all, this is the time to handover her battles to God in serious prayers and also committing the safety and overall wellbeing of her children to God.

There's no point seeking for divorce after 27 years. In no distant time and by God's grace you guys should have found your feet. That alone is more than enough consolation for whatever she feels she's being deprived in her marriage.

cococandy:


Some people don’t want their kids to be raised by nannies. Even your fellow men kick against it. They refer to the women who go chase careers and hire house help to take care of the children as bitter feminists. The bitter feminists who don’t put their families first. They blame them if the man cheats on them with the house help. If she was available, he won’t have done it. You already know this.

But yes I agree with you partially on this. I would advice any Nigerian woman whose husband isn’t being hands-on with childcare and house work to get help so that she can pursue her own career as well. To avoid this type of wickedness befalling her in her old age.

cococandy:
Those types of women are not the majority.

safarigirl:


The wife cannot he excluded. She is a beneficiary by virtue of being his lawful wife and the mother of thee children. Even extended family like brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces could be included, how much more the wife.

He cannot lawfully exclude her.

cococandy:
Yes she helped him build it. If he had to stay home to raise their kids, he wouldn’t be able to achieve what he did. That’s a fact.

Her contributions are valid and equal to his. Unless he considers the money to be worth more than his children and family. She birthed and raised them for the family. That’s a significant contribution to the family.

We look down on that because it’s women who do it.
because we are raised to not respect women and their efforts.

Reason why I can never encourage a woman to listen to her husband and stay at home in the name of being submissive. Unless that’s her choice made out of her free will.

After you spend your youth working to raise and keep the home, it’s discarded as nothing and you have to be dependent and subservient. begging for what’s rightfully yours. Even enduring disrespect so that you won’t lose out.

God bless you my Sister.. the rate some men and women disrespect women staying at home to raise their children is amazing...they forget that two people cannot stay at home raising children neither can two people go to work raising "ĢOOD" And well Balanced CHILDREN.

Logobenz:
Watch and see.
Them dey fight odogwu with empty hand?

manontree:


Easy dear. There are little information herein. Also a woman that allows another woman steal her man after 27yrs isnt blameless. If there are no cracks in d wall the lizard woudlnt have entered the house

Nigeria isnt ripe for the kind of divorce she is seeking