"A grandmother supporting such speaks so much about this family" - exactly. It tells you that the family has great values. It tells you that they understand the realities of life. It tells you that they are one united happy family and one idiot like the man you support is not needed to ruin their happiness or the future of their daughter.
"take a step back and ask yourself if you can deal with this family" - very appropriate. Obviously OP has been thinking that the world is a straight line with families who do not care what happens to their children.
"a 29 year old without a mind of her own is a disaster waiting to happen" - who told you that boy? In the world you live today if you joke with your present you potentially jeopardise your future. Without a mind of her own she would not have reasoned about passing her nursing school exam before carrying a baby. Do you know how many years she sat exams to get that admission? You think it is appropriate to miss out now that she is on the final approach? Who is a disaster waiting to happen between the OP and the lady? A young man who 1. asks her to keep "his pregnancy" 2. asks for time to consult his parents 3. asks for some time to do a "small introduction"? Person no dey shit where grass tall pass am bro.
You clearly missed it and you need to understand that your choices in life determine how far you can go. The lady has a mind of her own and she chose the right thing to do. Her family just like yours and mine will not choose to watch us fall into holes in this life.
Let OP carry that his dick and hang somewhere. He should erase the thoughts of "my pregnancy" away from his heart. Who knows, he probably all along was finding ways to impregnate the girl and get into the family of the girl who may be wealthy. So if he got a very serious sexually transmitted disease from his stupid act of unprotected sex with a student resulting in pregnancy would he be here asking for advise on how to marry her?
The young woman and her family are wiser than him. He is the "disaster waiting to happen" to that family and not her bro. The reality of life is that there is a time for everything in life.
Watch the path you tread boy, never you come at me with such negative energy. Drop your point and run along......a grand mother supporting abortion for a 29 year old lady that has the full backing of her fiancé is evil
The exam is an excuse. She wants to be lawfully wedded, guy is dragging leg. In a few months it will be risky to abort and she'll be forced to carry it to term. What if he abandons her and the child? All these hit and run guys here and there. One must be wise.
Triniti: Watch the path you tread boy, never you come at me with such negative energy. Drop your point and run along......a grand mother supporting abortion for a 29 year old lady that has the full backing of her fiancé is evil
Hahahahaha. Obviously you must be a very young man with little experience about the realities of life. I wish you well.
Is her family ready to accept you, if no, then leave her if she insists. In other words as a nurse she knows what to do after having unprotected sex within 24hrs. Don't you think, she is testing you?
Did her silly grandmother get her pregnant? She should carry the pregnancy to term and leave the baby with you and move on with her life. Is there any rule that states that she can't take her exams with pregnancy?
This is a matter of opinion. Many people do not see a fertilised egg or zygote as a child. To the law, a fetus does not become a person until it is capable of independent existence. A woman cannot be forced to carry, birth and care for a baby she does not want. A child should not be a punishment for moral sins of a woman.
All the argument against abortion are based on religious and moral grounds. The law does not recognise a fetus as a legal entity, so killing an unborn child is legal jargon. Medical science is still divided on when a fetus becomes conscious and can be recognised as a person.
This is the thinking of third world mindset. The hope for a better tomorrow does not justify the millions of unwanted children roaming the streets, constituting a menace to society, ie boko haram, agberos, cultists, etc. Having millions of uneducated and unwanted children is the chief ingredient for societal anarchy.
Even the educated are worse. Society anarchy can be handled with government intervention of law enforcement, provisions of affordable schools , jobs and population control through the use oral contraceptives, condoms, family planning and so on. Abortion should not be tool for population control. A developing fetus should not be given the death penalty because the mother do not wish to have the baby. Instead she can give the child to an orphanage.The only exception to abortion is rape , if the fetus is deformed or dangerous to the health of the mother. Look at china, there is a gender imbalance because many female fetuses were aborted before birth. They are more men to women.
This is a matter of opinion. Many people do not see a fertilised egg or zygote as a child. To the law, a fetus does not become a person until it is capable of independent existence. A woman cannot be forced to carry, birth and care for a baby she does not want. A child should not be a punishment for moral sins of a woman.
All the argument against abortion are based on religious and moral grounds. The law does not recognise a fetus as a legal entity, so killing an unborn child is legal jargon. Medical science is still divided on when a fetus becomes conscious and can be recognised as a person.
This is the thinking of third world mindset. The hope for a better tomorrow does not justify the millions of unwanted children roaming the streets, constituting a menace to society, ie boko haram, agberos, cultists, etc. Having millions of uneducated and unwanted children is the chief ingredient for societal anarchy.
Olalan: OP sorry to burst your bubble your spouse family seem irresponsible.......a grandmother following her grand child is the height of moral bankruptcy. It's time you have a rethink about your spouse and her family that's if you don't also share same moral outlook. BTW when you both were having series of unprotected sex what where you guys expecting?
Give this man my Rose Roise seized by customs last week. A most intelligent comment!
chewwie: Did her silly grandmother get her pregnant? She should carry the pregnancy to term and leave the baby with you and move on with her life. Is there any rule that states that she can't take her exams with pregnancy?
her silly grand mother did not get her pregnant, but when the baby is born, who will buy pampers, baby formula, medicals, etc for the baby? Who will bear the medical expenses of the birth, especially if there are complications or requires C/S? It's still the girls parents (and maybe with assistant from the grandparents ) that house her, feed her, pay her school fees, etc. If the girl and the guy are totally independent, and would not constitute a burden on her family, then the silly grand mother and her parents will have no business whatsoever on whether to have a baby or not.
What do you mean "She should carry the pregnancy to term and leave the baby with you and move on with her life"? Leave the baby with the guy?
Olalan: OP sorry to burst your bubble your spouse family seem irresponsible.......a grandmother following her grand child is the height of moral bankruptcy. It's time you have a rethink about your spouse and her family that's if you don't also share same moral outlook. BTW when you both were having series of unprotected sex what where you guys expecting?
The spouse family seem irresponsible but was able to send their daughter to nursing school? You think nursing schools and nursing exams comes cheap?
But to you, the family of a guy that would agree to a small engagement , not marriage and then have a baby out of wedlock is responsible. The guy was asking for engagement, not marriage. The girl is right to demand a proper marriage after 4 years of free knacking. So when will he be ready for marriage.
I have had a cousin in similar situation. She got pregnant during her NYSC, and the guy insisted on having the baby. They brought drinks and kola to my uncle's house. When we asked them when they will be ready for the marriage proper, they said we should not worry, that they would come soon. That was 11 years ago. Till today, we have not seen their brake lights. They sent money for the child upkeep for the first 5 years. Today, it's our family that pays school fees and upkeep for the boy.
The grandmother that is following her grandchild has seen, heard and experienced far more than the so called moralists. She wants the best for her grandchildren.
To me having a child you can't take care of is worse sin than abortion. It's absurd to insist on "keep the pregnancy" when the guy have to consult his family even to have a small engagement . I cry when I see videos of thousands upon thousands of almajiris line up the streets of kano.
I had the same situation with someone close to me. She got admitted into the Navy but discovered she was pregnant for her boyfriend before the training. The boyfriend also insisted on keeping the baby and going to the family to do "small introduction". I advice her to terminate the pregnancy, since it's is the early days. Early stage pregnancy are relatively safe than late term pregnancy. Recommended a gynecologist from a reputable hospital (most gynaecologists perform abortions, but it's very expensive and off the books). It was done without out any issue whatsoever. She completed her training, got into the Navy, went for a university degree while still in the Navy and has been promoted rapidly since. See got married late last year and expecting their first baby this april.
Imagine where she would have been if she had the baby and the good for nothing guy came to do the small engagement. I am sure sufferings would have been the portion of both mother and child.
We must learn to be pragmatic and don't get obsessed by this moral religious self righteousness.
Here is a video of the shear number of almajiris in northern nigeria.
Anyone that don't feel the pain and sufferings of unwanted children does not have empathy.
Is it the same guy that married her? Some of this "small introduction men" are agents of frustration. They're out there to frustrate innocent young ladies. Only a foolish woman will listen to them.
Is it the same guy that married her? Some of this "small introduction men" are agents of frustration. They're out there to frustrate innocent young ladies. Only a foolish woman will listen to them.
You were her destiny helper.
No o. She married a banker. The old guy forgot the small engagement As soon as she aborted the baby. But was still preaching love. The whole family went against the guy and insisted the lady to dumb his sorry ass. Just before she was commissioned, he went to her base crying and almost rolling on the floor, begging to continue the relationship. What is annoying is not the fact that he was struggling, but he was not serious.Why will you have a relationship for over 6 years and not think of proposing engagement until she becomes pregnant. OK, After engagement, then what?
No o. She married a banker. The old guy forgot the small engagement As soon as she aborted the baby. But was still preaching love. The whole family went against the guy and insisted the lady to dumb his sorry ass. Just before she was commissioned, he went to her base crying and almost rolling on the floor, begging to continue the relationship. What is annoying is not the fact that he was struggling, but he was not serious.Why will you have a relationship for over 6 years and not think of proposing engagement until she becomes pregnant. OK, After engagement, then what?
All these love squad, I fear them, both male and female. They've nothing to offer other than I love you, I will die for you, I will do anything for you. It's always "I will"
The exam is an excuse. She wants to be lawfully wedded, guy is dragging leg. In a few months it will be risky to abort and she'll be forced to carry it to term. What if he abandons her and the child? All these hit and run guys here and there. One must be wise.
Martinez39: I don't have your time, I sure you have, like your fellow feminists, taken to seeing men as cruel deadbeats and source of female oppression; nonexistent sexism against women; and the reason for many women's laziness, misfortune, and inadequacies.
This is a man who could have denied the pregnancy but he insisted on keeping it, how will such a man japa when the baby is born? When his girlfriend wanted to abort it, that was his chance to japa but he didn't and he even came to open a thread on nairaland stressing that he wants to keep the pregnancy, tell me how such a person will japa? Your resentment towards men is your master and you will rot in that resentment. Silly feminist.
you think men don't abadon pregnant women in 2nd and third trimester or even after birth? I see it happen a lot.
Olalan: OP sorry to burst your bubble your spouse family seem irresponsible.......a grandmother following her grand child is the height of moral bankruptcy. It's time you have a rethink about your spouse and her family that's if you don't also share same moral outlook. BTW when you both were having series of unprotected sex what where you guys expecting?
No, the guy man knows what he was doing, he wanted to confirm the babe before marrying her but the babe was busy moaning loud forgetting she got councel exam to write. Una cross, make u na carry am.
