God is saving your life young man, run away from her, you can see overbearing acts from not just the mum, but also grandma, let her go on and write her exams , who knows she might make it or not, but y will u put her in the family way ,when u aren't ready. Well allow her, its her life.take it as you see it.

TheRealProphet:
It's her womb against your sperm..na she go carry Belle for 9months not you..let her do her abortion.. No disturb d babe

Well, imes is coming sha...The end of days. We hope that he'll be coming to clarify the truth about life; the truth of which is hidden to many people.

imes, we await your coming.

you don open another account...

KingEzo:
Hello Nairalander,

please I need your advice. I am 31 years and my fiancee is 29 years and we have been dating for the past four years.

She discovered that she's pregnant on new year's eve. We discussed the issue throughout the new year and we agreed to keep the pregnancy that she's going to write her nursing Council exam later. I told her that she should give me some time so that I can go and discuss with my parents and organize introduction then do the engagement in a little way but she said her mom won't be happy with her that she needs to do big wedding because she's the first child of her mom.

She later told me that she's going to inform her parents before taking any step. To my surprise she called me this evening that she is going to terminate the pregnancy because her family has been raining insults on her since she got home.

She said her grandma is even coming to the city with her so that she can terminate the baby. But I told her that I didn't support it that I can't terminate pregnancy, I told her that she can write the council exam after delivery but she insisted.

Sir-Ma should I support this their action?

Abeg explain the redded quote for me, what do you mean by "I told her that she should give me some time so that I can go and discuss with my parents and organize introduction then do the engagement in a little way?"

How much time do you need to discuss with your parents and then organize introduction ? Introduction for god sake, not even marriage. So the lady is supposed to suspend her education and career while waiting for you to propose engagement.

If I am the girls parents, I would personally contact a very competent gynecologist and flush out the fetus. And then threaten to disown my daughter, if she as much as answer a phone call from the useless guy.

Resurgent2016:


Not sure where you drew you conclusion from, I simple stated that the bible doesn't endorse such and there is no 2 interpretations to it, except you have written another bible

which version of the bible? Are you reading the bible in english or in the original language? You are reading someone else's translation. Also quote the part of the biblr that doesn't support it. You are making such bold claims i admire your confidence.

Olalan:
OP sorry to burst your bubble your spouse family seem irresponsible.......a grandmother following her grand child is the height of moral bankruptcy. It's time you have a rethink about your spouse and her family that's if you don't also share same moral outlook.
BTW when you both were having series of unprotected sex what where you guys expecting?

They were expecting candy.

KingEzo:
Hello Nairalander,

please I need your advice. I am 31 years and my fiancee is 29 years and we have been dating for the past four years.

She discovered that she's pregnant on new year's eve. We discussed the issue throughout the new year and we agreed to keep the pregnancy that she's going to write her nursing Council exam later. I told her that she should give me some time so that I can go and discuss with my parents and organize introduction then do the engagement in a little way but she said her mom won't be happy with her that she needs to do big wedding because she's the first child of her mom.

She later told me that she's going to inform her parents before taking any step. To my surprise she called me this evening that she is going to terminate the pregnancy because her family has been raining insults on her since she got home.

She said her grandma is even coming to the city with her so that she can terminate the baby. But I told her that I didn't support it that I can't terminate pregnancy, I told her that she can write the council exam after delivery but she insisted.

Sir-Ma should I support this their action?

what baffles me in this tale is that a grandmum,a woman travelled from the village to come kill an unborn child.SMH

The title of the thread ought to be "should I consider marrying my fiancee. .." because her family seems queer.
First insisting, she must have an elaborate wedding instead of focusing on upkeep for the baby. Should you have a million naira,it will be used mostly for a bellanaija sort of wedding and not used to plan your family and prepare for the birth of the child?secondly,I am not being judgemental but the issue of abortion has never really gone down well with me( from my own lens), except on cases were childbirth will pose a risk to mother or child or both. The circumstances of the pregnancy is not bad,it wasn't out of rape,or a run-away/denying-father,she is not in school currently that it will affect her studies,she isnt a minor /teenager(she is 29) and you aren't too poor to cater for the baby. The family endorsing the abortion speaks loud,there is more to her family.

I suggest you do your a thorough check up on the family history and background before making any plans further, you should be sure of who your in-laws will be.
If she chooses to abort the baby,allow her to do so .


Abeg abortion supporters should not come for my head,I am not strong please

PerseDew:


What gets me tired is the way guys and girls will be chanting how they must have sex in a relationship but when it results to pregnancy in this unfavorable economy for the majority, you will realise that a lot of them are just clueless adults and when the girl or her family decides to abort, the guy turns to one holy Nweje talking of how he can't partake in murder but can put someone's life on hold without marriage and bring a baby to this country to live a life of chance.

This. Loud it.

Graxie:
Nairaland boys with confusion, you are against marrying single mom, yet you are angry that this lady refuse to be a single mom. Oga op, for 4years you didn't do introduction but you want to now just to tie her down. Nairaland boys insults women that are jobless or not having career, yet you are angry because this woman wants to help her future. Are you looking for Nigeria? Look no further, come to nairaland. Hypocrite and chameleon. A lady wrote about no sex before marriage, nairaland boys came for her, claiming sex means nothing and she is not a virgin. Now, this is the consequences of sex, you can claim to be using condoms, it only takes one bursting and pregnancy is sure. You hate abortion but enjoy fornication. What a society.

Unfortunately because your post is on page 5 already, probably nobody will read it, even though they really should.

I don't think she is telling you the truth about her family. No mother or grandmother will agree to an abortion for a 29 year old chick immediately the pregnancy is mentioned. Something is wrong. If what she said is true then your that family has a question mark.

TheRealProphet:
It's her womb against your sperm..na she go carry Belle for 9months not you..let her do her abortion.. No disturb d babe

Well, imes is coming sha...The end of days. We hope that he'll be coming to clarify the truth about life; the truth of which is hidden to many people.

imes, we await your coming.

Can you give me info about imes because I have been seeing you talking about imes on almost all thread here on NL. So I’ll be glad if you can give me detailed information. You can message me on WhatsApp 08039348104 or maryayomide46@gmail.com

[/color]

oyoolima:
Engagement Davido style Abi ?

Baby mama tinz ? Engage today,marry in 100 years.

You think it's every family that wants 9 month pregnant belly on wedding day or wedding blessing 10 years after baby drops.

I see you're looking for how to destroy her life ,stop her career and saddle her with a new baby while your own life goes on.

Madam is not ready to bring a baby into a poverty stricken lifestyle that's why she's wanting to pass her exams and start off her career.

Good she is thinking of herself and her future first.If things go bad, and you disappear, she will.have to put her life on hold to raise her child while you move on to the next.

If you were such a sanctimonious guy,you should have resisted sex before marriage but you were kpanshing raw.

Next time,use condoms to avoid stories that touch.

[color=#000099]I support this view

Phenomenal16:
....as in eh ...imagine the kind of support she will get.....
Me I wrote mine without romantic support.. I only had God n my mom.....

Sis pray for me
I only have GOD

Resurgent2016:
Modernisation has created the impression that we can do things our own way and ignore bible standards, however, there is some wisdom to its principles.

The truth is without any formal marital relationship, your fiancee with the support of her family can decide to terminate the pregnancy regardless of what you think or want.
Your opinion only matters if she is your wife.

Thanks for this wonderful contribution our society have lost common sense

And am here praying for my to happen as soon as possible.

Chai, life o.

Well, she may end up hating the baby sha, so thread carefully. If you are not in support of the termination make it known that your hands are not there.

At this hard time who still wants expensive wedding

KingEzo:
Hello Nairalander,

please I need your advice. I am 31 years and my fiancee is 29 years and we have been dating for the past four years.

She discovered that she's pregnant on new year's eve. We discussed the issue throughout the new year and we agreed to keep the pregnancy that she's going to write her nursing Council exam later. I told her that she should give me some time so that I can go and discuss with my parents and organize introduction then do the engagement in a little way but she said her mom won't be happy with her that she needs to do big wedding because she's the first child of her mom.

She later told me that she's going to inform her parents before taking any step. To my surprise she called me this evening that she is going to terminate the pregnancy because her family has been raining insults on her since she got home.

She said her grandma is even coming to the city with her so that she can terminate the baby. But I told her that I didn't support it that I can't terminate pregnancy, I told her that she can write the council exam after delivery but she insisted.

Sir-Ma should I support this their action?

OP,I hope you know that if the girl dies during abortion,you would be held responsible even if the family gave consent and you may be forced to marry her and do the burial rites.If you can find a solution to what i wrote,then you have an answer to your problem.

Why do African men who aren't ready to ne fathers love to go raw. Shebi there is rubber, you won't use because you want skin to skin.

bukatyne:


If that is her fear, then she would have pressured the guy to start the marriage process.

Why is he hesitating?
He want to do introduction. Is introduction marriage?
Once that lady put to bed, bros will disappear. Since he want to take his time to talk to his family, seems like his family aren't in support of their relationship or he has been double dating. Else, why will it take him time?

The lady will end up as one bitter baby mama and thanks to our culture, the child will grow up to look for the dad.
For her family to be in support of her, there is something bros is not telling us.
My only problem is why she didn't take care of herself when she isn't so sure of him.
We are fast becoming like African Americans in this baby mama craze.

So rampant.

TheRealProphet:
It's her womb against your sperm..na she go carry Belle for 9months not you..let her do her abortion.. No disturb d babe

Well, imes is coming sha...The end of days. We hope that he'll be coming to clarify the truth about life; the truth of which is hidden to many people.

imes, we await your coming.

wat is imes

Bro, call your lady again and talk to her and if she refuse and decide to go on with the abortion let her know that once she terminates the pregnancy that is end of the relationship. She should just move on as simple as that. Make your stand known to her.

if she terminate the pregnancy, sue her and family.I Hart Abortion

A BIG NO IS THE ANSWER.

I support her decision...let her abort the stuff joor..
Op aint serious

I don't support abortion.
Stop calling her your fiancée to gain Favor here, she's your girlfriend.

So you want to frustrate her future with your stupid sperm? What is she abort her exams an keep the pregnancy tomorrow you start talking nonsense? If she chose to abort the pregnancy and further her studies, so be it, you can't force it on her. Her future first.

If you want a child GO AND MARRY.

Triniti:
You are spot on bro, a grandmother supporting such speaks so much about this family. This is a vain family if you ask me, you need to take a step back and ask yourself if you can deal with these people, a 29 year old woman without her own mind is a disaster waiting to happen

Haba na waoh.

Did you read the comment very well?

"A grandmother supporting such speaks so much about this family" - exactly. It tells you that the family has great values. It tells you that they understand the realities of life. It tells you that they are one united happy family and one idiot like the man you support is not needed to ruin their happiness or the future of their daughter.

"take a step back and ask yourself if you can deal with this family" - very appropriate. Obviously OP has been thinking that the world is a straight line with families who do not care what happens to their children.

"a 29 year old without a mind of her own is a disaster waiting to happen" - who told you that boy? In the world you live today if you joke with your present you potentially jeopardise your future. Without a mind of her own she would not have reasoned about passing her nursing school exam before carrying a baby. Do you know how many years she sat exams to get that admission? You think it is appropriate to miss out now that she is on the final approach? Who is a disaster waiting to happen between the OP and the lady? A young man who 1. asks her to keep "his pregnancy" 2. asks for time to consult his parents 3. asks for some time to do a "small introduction"? Person no dey shit where grass tall pass am bro.

You clearly missed it and you need to understand that your choices in life determine how far you can go. The lady has a mind of her own and she chose the right thing to do. Her family just like yours and mine will not choose to watch us fall into holes in this life.

Let OP carry that his dick and hang somewhere. He should erase the thoughts of "my pregnancy" away from his heart. Who knows, he probably all along was finding ways to impregnate the girl and get into the family of the girl who may be wealthy. So if he got a very serious sexually transmitted disease from his stupid act of unprotected sex with a student resulting in pregnancy would he be here asking for advise on how to marry her?

The young woman and her family are wiser than him. He is the "disaster waiting to happen" to that family and not her bro. The reality of life is that there is a time for everything in life.

calabardick:
I don't support abortion.
Stop calling her your fiancée to gain Favor here, she's your girlfriend.

So you want to frustrate her future with your stupid sperm? What is she abort her exams an keep the pregnancy tomorrow you start talking nonsense? If she chose to abort the pregnancy and further her studies, so be it, you can't force it on her. Her future first.

If you want a child GO AND MARRY.

To me having a child you can't take care of is worse sin than abortion.
It's absurd to insist on "keep the pregnancy" when the guy have to consult his family even to have a small engagement . I cry when I see videos of thousands upon thousands of almajiris line up the streets of kano.

I had the same situation with someone close to me. She got admitted into the Navy but discovered she was pregnant for her boyfriend before the training. The boyfriend also insisted on keeping the baby and going to the family to do "small introduction". I advice her to terminate the pregnancy, since it's is the early days. Early stage pregnancy are relatively safe than late term pregnancy. Recommended a gynecologist from a reputable hospital (most gynaecologists perform abortions, but it's very expensive and off the books). It was done without out any issue whatsoever. She completed her training, got into the Navy, went for a university degree while still in the Navy and has been promoted rapidly since. See got married late last year and expecting their first baby this april.

Imagine where she would have been if she had the baby and the good for nothing guy came to do the small engagement. I am sure sufferings would have been the portion of both mother and child.

We must learn to be pragmatic and don't get obsessed by this moral religious self righteousness.

Here is a video of the shear number of almajiris in northern nigeria.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gekDdJzxFbQ

Anyone that don't feel the pain and sufferings of unwanted children does not have empathy.

29 year old still want to do abortion? Please do not support her in shedding blood. One day she would pray to have one child but it would be too late. Writing an exam is not an excuse to commit abortion. Ladys, please say no to killing your unborn children.

I do not support abortion. life is too precious, give the unborn a chance to live that all I am saying. The circumstances are not serious enough to warranty an abortion. Mothers go to Nursing council exam

bukatyne:


No strength to type plenty tonight.

@bold: That is the koko

If she really loves you or plan to marry you, the pregnancy would have been her leverage to hasten you to marry her if you were initially stalling.

She does not sound like a woman with a plan for her life sha. At 29, thinking of abortion when she is pregnant for a committed partner READY to marry her.

If she terminates the pregnancy, good bye to the relationship.

The family are also very irresponsible. Edging a 29yr old to abort instead of mandating her to bring the man responsible.

In this case, the apple did not fall very far from the tree.

Grandma sef is coming from the villa to support abortion!?

Tufiakwa!

Ori mi ko! Awon irankiran

Abi the pregnancy is NOT yours?

Cc: KingEzo.

A grandma who is not excited to have a greatgrandchild from her granddaughter, is that one a grandma?

I'm tempted to ascribe her behavior to witchcraft.

wirinet:

To me having a child you can't take care of is worse sin than abortion.
It's absurd to insist on "keep the pregnancy" when the guy have to consult his family even to have a small engagement . I cry when I see videos of thousands upon thousands of almajiris line up the streets of kano.

I had the same situation with someone close to me. She got admitted into the Navy but discovered she was pregnant for her boyfriend before the training. The boyfriend also insisted on keeping the baby and going to the family to do "small introduction". I advice her to terminate the pregnancy, since it's is the early days. Early stage pregnancy are relatively safe than late term pregnancy. Recommended a gynecologist from a reputable hospital (most gynaecologists perform abortions, but it's very expensive and off the books). It was done without out any issue whatsoever. She completed her training, got into the Navy, went for a university degree while still in the Navy and has been promoted rapidly since. See got married late last year and expecting their first baby this april.

Imagine where she would have been if she had the baby and the good for nothing guy came to do the small engagement. I am sure sufferings would have been the portion of both mother and child.

We must learn to be pragmatic and don't get obsessed by this moral religious self righteousness.

Here is a video of the shear number of almajiris in northern nigeria.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gekDdJzxFbQ

Anyone that don't feel the pain and sufferings of unwanted children does not have empathy.

2

As a 31year old man who isn't ready for marriage and baby issues, how much is condom? Then as a student nurse writing examination on nursing, she must have heard of prevention and contraception.

I hate to advice people who know options available to them to make their lives hitch free. I wasn't there when the sex was going on and when you ejaculated, carry your cross. Next time, think we'll and weigh your options.

cooltola:


Killing an unborn child is the ultimate lack of empathy and disregard to life- the only exception to abortion is if the fetus growing is dangerous to health of the mother or rape . Forget the moral compasses or self righteousness, everyone deserves a chance for tomorrow.

This is a matter of opinion. Many people do not see a fertilised egg or zygote as a child. To the law, a fetus does not become a person until it is capable of independent existence. A woman cannot be forced to carry, birth and care for a baby she does not want. A child should not be a punishment for moral sins of a woman.

All the argument against abortion are based on religious and moral grounds. The law does not recognise a fetus as a legal entity, so killing an unborn child is legal jargon. Medical science is still divided on when a fetus becomes conscious and can be recognised as a person.

Even the children who are begging or suffering are hoping for a tomorrow. The better solution is to enforce a family planning by promoting the uses of condoms or anything to prevent the fertilization of human eggs if both parties are not ready to parent. Why should an unborn child pay the penalty of death because his or her parents were busy enjoying themselves irresponsibly? The northerner leaders should address the uncontrolled population growth, try to provide jobs and abortion is not the answer.

This is the thinking of third world mindset. The hope for a better tomorrow does not justify the millions of unwanted children roaming the streets, constituting a menace to society, ie boko haram, agberos, cultists, etc. Having millions of uneducated and unwanted children is the chief ingredient for societal anarchy.

Graxie:
Nairaland boys with confusion, you are against marrying single mom, yet you are angry that this lady refuse to be a single mom. Oga op, for 4years you didn't do introduction but you want to now just to tie her down. Nairaland boys insults women that are jobless or not having career, yet you are angry because this woman wants to help her future. Are you looking for Nigeria? Look no further, come to nairaland. Hypocrite and chameleon. A lady wrote about no sex before marriage, nairaland boys came for her, claiming sex means nothing and she is not a virgin. Now, this is the consequences of sex, you can claim to be using condoms, it only takes one bursting and pregnancy is sure. You hate abortion but enjoy fornication. What a society.

Confused set of people