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Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by ImaIma1(f): 3:22pm On Feb 03
Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.

I am a married Man with a Kid. Before marriage, my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.

We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.

I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.

We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.

She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.

I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.

I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.

What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?


Let her get hers first. She needs it more especially with moving a child around. You said it yourself. After a while you can get yours. Or how would you feel driving around knowing that your wife is not finding it easy transporting herself and your child?

3 Likes

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by GidiWoodsMan(m): 3:22pm On Feb 03
Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.

I am a married Man with a Kid. Before marriage, my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.

We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.

I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.

We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.

She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.

I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.

I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.

What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?

let her have her car. it's her money afterall...and it's also for your baby's benefit abeg
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by JJOF(m): 3:22pm On Feb 03
AfroKnight:


Honestly, I’m angry that I wasted my time reading the story.
All this NLanders self, una like bad news ehnn grin grin

1 Like

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by JJOF(m): 3:23pm On Feb 03
JJOF:

All these NLanders self, una like bad news ehnn grin grin
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Kbs468(m): 3:23pm On Feb 03
makydebbie:
It's her money and she's the one going through the stress yet you don't want her to get a car? When she's not even asking you for money.

I'm shocked sef, because she's not asking you for money.
Which is you on your dp?
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Emmerlee(m): 3:23pm On Feb 03
Standardkid240:
To me you're not being fair here, you sound more like an igbo man.

I think igbo men spend more on their wives and take care of them better. That's a fact you probably don't want to agree with. Your cup of tea though..
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by wristbangle: 3:23pm On Feb 03
Why bring up this issue in th first place? There is no problem here rather you are trying to create one.

She is the one who wants to purchase a car, not you. Let her have her car while you have yours. Why should we support your selfish ambition. Honestly, you got a heaven sent wife which many men crave for. What is your problem, young man?

3 Likes

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by kunleweb: 3:23pm On Feb 03
ImaIma1:


Let her get hers first. She needs it more especially with moving a child around. You said it yourself. After a while you can get yours. Or how would you feel driving around knowing that your wife is not finding it easy transporting herself and your child?


Pro Woman wink You ladies of this our generation should Sha be go gentle on us when you finally get to the highest office of the land o cheesy
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by jaxxy(m): 3:23pm On Feb 03
Opeyemiebun:

Look, I want to know from the experience of older couple on here how to manage such situation.
It is her money, and I have mine but as the head of the family I don't want to hurt her knowing she does alot too.
Thanks alot though


It’s very simple, she has a baby and definitely needs the car so if anybody must get a car it shud be her. U can hold on and keep doing investments since atleast u have been managing without one ever since with ur work and has been doing well.

Nothing has changed in ur work situation bt a baby has come up in hers. No Ure not being fair!

1 Like

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by noblealuu: 3:24pm On Feb 03
Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.

I am a married Man with a Kid. Before marriage, my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.

We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.

I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.

We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.

She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.

I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.

I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.

What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?

Why not buy one car and give it to her while you get yours later...
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by kunleweb: 3:24pm On Feb 03
Agbonkamen you've been quiet for some time now. I'm beginning to suspect you o wink
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by emmanuelewumi: 3:24pm On Feb 03
Simieoni2:
Oga buy ur wife a car first just for d comfort of ur kids. Shebi uve been hustling before without a car na.. and besides u reside in lagos too much trafic, we wey get car sef dey park for house jump danfo or enta bike


The wife actually has the money to buy the car herself
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Nobody: 3:24pm On Feb 03
Uncle if you dont get her the car then u must be wicked, she really and really deserves it honestly, if u were to b my brother I would support her haba, she’s hardworking and responsible too....treat her well

3 Likes

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Parkiz(f): 3:25pm On Feb 03
sorry to say but I think you are selfish

she has your baby n also working haba Mr husband more is expected of you especially when you can afford two cars, as it is clear you can't let them have it while you invest for your own.

some men shaaa

2 Likes

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by steppin: 3:25pm On Feb 03
makydebbie:
It's her money and she's the one going through the stress yet you don't want her to get a car? When she's not even asking you for money.

I'm shocked sef, because she's not asking you for money.
It doesn't work like that.
You're not married, so you won't understand.

1 Like

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by bekpo(m): 3:25pm On Feb 03
Don't try to selfish, if u value her that much,then her happiness comes first! My take.

2 Likes

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by cravingmind: 3:26pm On Feb 03
Opeyemiebun:


Hmmmm, so I should encourage us getting 2 cars within the next 3months looking at Nigeria's economy and the need to have multiple source of income?.
Waoooh, thanks for the advice!!!






Seem like your mind is made up.

1 Like

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by EkoErrands: 3:27pm On Feb 03
Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.

I am a married Man with a Kid. Before marriage, my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.

We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.

I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.

We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.

She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.

I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.

I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.

What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?

bro I won't even allow my wife go anywhere in public transport when she's pregnant talk less of when the child is already born. my prayer is God keep me capable. Civil Engineer my eye.

*Modified*

I just feel like slapping this guy honestly you deserve some kind of physical abuse.

if you know what some people have to endure in the name of a terrible wife you will use that your own money and buy the car for her and ask her to keep her Money for herself.

to sound you just dey hungry me!

1 Like

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by tunize(m): 3:27pm On Feb 03
Shallypop:
Head of family ko, tail of family ni. See ego.
Calm down not Ego.
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Rajosh(m): 3:27pm On Feb 03
You need a car, your wife needs a car. you want to get one for yourself but you don't want your wife to buy for herself. Oga that's selfishness. She wants to buy the car With her own Money yet it's a problem to you. Put yourself in her shoes.

3 Likes

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by ogbevireo(m): 3:28pm On Feb 03
Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.

I am a married Man with a Kid. Before marriage, my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.

We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.

I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.

We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.

She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.

I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.

I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.

What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?


What have you been using?
Please give her the car to ease her stress.
You are man and you have been managing.

My simple opinion.

1 Like

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by fernandezcocky: 3:28pm On Feb 03
You will be doing yourself a lot of good by simply letting her have her own car. Wishing you all the best
Opeyemiebun:


Hmmmm, so I should encourage us getting 2 cars within the next 3months looking at Nigeria's economy and the need to have multiple source of income?.
Waoooh, thanks for the advice!!!





Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by BreconHills: 3:28pm On Feb 03
Shallypop:
Head of family ko, tail of family ni. See ego.

The term "Head of family" is often misunderstood. It doesnt mean a triangle with the man at the tip it means at the forefront - marching out first. The person in this position willingly take the risk or danger. If this chap understood it - he wouldnt be asking this question. It's not a position of superiority but the position of risk taker. Any respect given depends on the fulfilment of the role described.

10 Likes

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Mizwisdom(f): 3:30pm On Feb 03
80% of the males on this thread are real men, the type that consider their wife and kids. I'm impressed with you guys, mods abeg share drinks for them or is it foreigners that are responding to the OP? my fellow ladies are you seeing what I am seeing?


Abeg make I go spend my money before I jam man like OP when wan reap where e no sow cheesy

3 Likes

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by dominique(f): 3:30pm On Feb 03
emerged01:
Get her the car first while you trek to work. With time I think she will reason with you and give out the car to you with time. As a good woman,she won’t want to be called names when she uses car while you trekk.

What kind of silly misogynistic talk is this? So a woman should buy a car with her money and hand it over to her husband while she jumps danfo and okada with a baby, all because she wants to be tagged a good wife? Why do you men believe that women must suffer so as to be termed virtuous? Is suffering a virtue? Bad enough that you want her to be inconvenienced to earn points, you want a baby to be put through stress as well, what is the matter with you people? This disgusting mentality that a woman has to suffer to please you or be termed good wife has to stop


Nothing wrong with a couple using two cars, especially if they live in different cities. With a baby and business involved, it's the best option if they can afford it.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Rajosh(m): 3:30pm On Feb 03
Mosebolatan26:
Uncle if you dont get her the car then u must be wicked, she really and really deserves it honestly, if u were to b my brother I would support her haba, she’s hardworking and responsible too....treat her well
she's not even asking him to buy a car for her. she wants to buy the car with her own Money o.
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Sarah20A(f): 3:31pm On Feb 03
Opeyemiebun:


Thanks alot, I believe you know how these extended families behave ..
I will let her have hers but I also desperately need one.
There is this feelings that come with my job when a client sees you dropping from a bike or Uber. A job they should offer you for 1m,they will look down on you and negotiate you for 400k.
Aside the economy side of it, Families will believe we are so much in money and the responsibilities will increase
everybody is telling you to get your wife a car but you still try to come up with one flameless excuse or the other. I hope you are not the manipulative type ooo?she's even buying the car with her money and you are here trying to make everything about you.do you know what she's passing through on a daily basis as a mother and a worker before she decided to buy herself a car?oga please this is not about one army policy.

4 Likes

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by Nobody: 3:31pm On Feb 03
Opeyemiebun:





Okay... You have gotten it all wrong.
Bringing something to the table means there are things she personally needs that she handles.
I pay her rents,set her up for business and got her one of the best paying federal job even before we got married.
We have been friends for 7years.
Even with money she seeks my opinion which has worked for us.
On the issue of car, I never said I told her not to buy... It was in my head to find a solution where we would make the best decision for our home.
We both need it, but I was thinking buying two is not economically viable.
I needed to be woken up and I got the best answer which is to buy for and suspend mine .
Lastly, even if she becomes a billionaire... I would be a happy man because she always give me the opportunity to make decisions for us.
She recognizes my function as a Man, she recognizes my intelligence and sacrifices to make decisions we end up being happy with after the results start showing up.
When you marry your friend,you enjoy some leverages to help one another out and make the best decision for your partner.
Enjoy your day Sir



Alright. Hopefully I've gotten it all wrong. However, from where I'm sitting, your story keeps changing as you are called out on certain areas. This gives the whole narration an overall air of being somehow doubtful as to the exact particulars and your real intentions. But most importantly, since you have said that you will put her and your child's comfort into consideration, I guess it's all good and there is no point in fishing for what is fact and what is fiction; or in continuing the discussion.

So good luck and enjoy your day yourself sir.

1 Like

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by agbonkamen(f): 3:32pm On Feb 03
kunleweb:
Agbonkamen you've been quiet for some time now. I'm beginning to suspect you o wink
what to do Na grin
Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by makydebbie(f): 3:32pm On Feb 03
tranxo:

Angry feminist, it is THEIR money. Nobody is dragging "Independent woman" with you. Get a life...sorry...a man. Mtschewww!!
I'll rather get a life than a man, you must be very silly. Where in my post did I call myself a feminist? Dumb one.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by biggy26: 3:32pm On Feb 03
Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.

I am a married Man with a Kid. Before marriage, my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.

We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.

I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.

We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.

She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.

I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.

I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.

What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?
Let her have the car, you can use taxify or Uber for your own movement. Put the comfort of your wife and kid first. If you can't, then by two cars.

1 Like

Re: Car Issue: Am I Being Fair To My Wife? by TheMubaraqS: 3:33pm On Feb 03
Let her get the car and invest your money if it is so important that 2 cars will be too much to handle at a time. Though for sure it's liability but for sure she having the car will give u peace.

1 Like

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