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Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Married, But Living As Single / I'm Getting Married But I'm Not Happy / Married But Feels Single. (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by crackkhaus: 8:35pm On Feb 22, 2020
healthserve:
Sixfee.tbelle didn't i say she wants to capsoze this union because there was one aside somewhere she has eyes on. grin


This is the answer to why Jesus says whoever marries them committs adultery.

Because 80% of times women would initiate divorce in these cases is die to emotional infidelity and false promises by someone on the outside which is why she has built mental and psychological blocks to suffer this one.


Now this is the mind of this narcissit we have here


My dad didn't allow me marry my teen love so I'll not give the one with me any goodness to frustrate him so he can suffer the decision of my bad


Don't be shocked this Op has "killed", her heart wih my husband an is having all sorts of shady emotional love relationship with the side guy and coded sex and she only yearns for divorce so they can fvck uncodedly.


Cc

My brother, leave this woman to her fate.

The gods are doing professional work on her. cheesy

2 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by TonyeBarcanista(m): 8:38pm On Feb 22, 2020
Girlwhocares:


No i haven't cheated on him before and I dont plan to except if we eventually go our separate ways by divorce which i really don't want!

As per him cheating on me,i honestly can't say cos he hasn't given me any suspicion.
I totally understand you and honestly, I can never fault you.

6 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by healthserve(m): 8:42pm On Feb 22, 2020
crackkhaus:

My brother, leave this woman to her fate.

The gods are doing professional work on her. cheesy


Okay. Roger

1 Like

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Ginalex(f): 9:06pm On Feb 22, 2020
Girlwhocares:


Yes,have been dating my bf for (15yrs)he was my first nd the only one have ever loved,our problem started when my dad said he witnessed where exhibited an unruly characters to some elders and also cos of the friends he moves with recently as at then and that he wasnt comfortable with our relationship (which i pleaded and made him understand everyone deserves another chance but cos how principled my dad was he insisted he won't consent to our union)
To be candid,this is the guy have share all my life with,he's all i wanted in a man but my dad opinion ruined our relationship.

I think seperation from my husband is all i need just for clarity sake but honestly,the more i try to make the marriage work the more i drift away from him and I dont know how to go about it.

I have visited two marriage counsellors without informing my husband all in my effort to work things but not yielding results as expected


Is your husband not good-looking enough? What you need to do is let go of your past and open up your heart to him.
You love him, you just don't know it yet.
I pray when you realize it, it is not too late.

1 Like

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Ginalex(f): 9:12pm On Feb 22, 2020
Girlwhocares:


No i haven't cheated on him before and I dont plan to except if we eventually go our separate ways by divorce which i really don't want!

As per him cheating on me,i honestly can't say cos he hasn't given me any suspicion.
Yes, you have cheated him and probably on him.
Cheating is not only physical but emotional too.
All those times you withdrew from him, you cheated him, and if you have been having intimate conversation with someone else, you've cheated on him.

1 Like

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Firstcitizen: 9:51pm On Feb 22, 2020
Depression
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by flokii: 9:51pm On Feb 22, 2020
co-tenant kwa.. this is seriously serious
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nnemuka(f): 9:52pm On Feb 22, 2020
So how do u get married to someone you are not attracted to ?
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Realfrankie(m): 9:52pm On Feb 22, 2020
Let me help you connect with my cassava.
My own connection can make you forget about your husband

1 Like

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by yesloaded: 9:53pm On Feb 22, 2020
Girlwhocares:


He's highly intelligent which is a great turn on for me in any relationship,we never dated,but we were good friends!
The issue of us getting married was as a result of making his intention known to my people which they accepted all cos he was a good guy whom my mum said he knows he will never treat me wrong!
Yes,i accepted to marry him not for love cos all through our friendship i never see us as lovers but i thought i will overcome all the anxieties and will grow to love him as we grow together(what my mum made me understand)now
I have been struggling with feelings of loving him and its isnt just adding up.
I only pity the poor man, I'm afraid if after living together for 4years you still find it hard to love him then it might be difficult for you to love him in your life. Firstly, I thought your problem is psychological till I read this reply of yours.

3 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by CeeManCollins(m): 9:54pm On Feb 22, 2020
Let him take that son for DNA test then come back for my advice.

3 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Toks2008(m): 9:54pm On Feb 22, 2020
Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.


When I thought I have heard it all.

I honestly am short of words...all I can say is that both of you work it out by communicating and possibly go for counselling.

Orisirisi!
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by WHITELIGHTER: 9:55pm On Feb 22, 2020
Women will always be women.....u can't please a woman totally, their wants, needs and desires changes like the hand of Clock..... this woman is just another one...that man better go do a DNA test

3 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Goalnaldo(m): 9:57pm On Feb 22, 2020
How do this one go take make Madrid take 3 points today. Once we starts missing chances, it comes back to hunt us.
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by israelmao(m): 9:57pm On Feb 22, 2020
I'm suspicious of these love stories on weekend.

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by fredopareto(m): 9:58pm On Feb 22, 2020
Tallesty1:
She's not seeing anyone, her problem is her spiritual husband
spiritual mother. Peele
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 9:59pm On Feb 22, 2020
Tallesty1:
She's not seeing anyone, her problem is her spiritual husband

This is 2020 22nd century
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by GreatResearcher: 9:59pm On Feb 22, 2020
Ishilove:
Op what was that special reason that made you accept his marriage proposal in the first place?


Start from there first.
Money was the reason.
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by DCMIX(m): 10:00pm On Feb 22, 2020
I think your husband is a good man, you are lucky to have him.
Try marry someone else and you'll understand.
I pray against a wife like you in Jesus name

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 10:00pm On Feb 22, 2020
Where you forced to marry him? if not, my humble advise is you that dont allow anybody or any man to deceive you and destroy your marriage. You just cant stop loving your husband overnight if not that u have ur heart with another person and moreso your husband has not done anything as claimed by you. Think of that little boy also.. His future .. How he is going to see u.
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Mac2016(m): 10:00pm On Feb 22, 2020
Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families

Thank you for your time.

Once there's no physical attraction, it will be hard to connect to him. Emotional detachment also these are first degree issues... You might actually still be into your ex but your seeming self respect won't let you sleep with your ex while in marriage.
I think you should pray to God first then discuss with your husband open-mindedly.
Allow 6months for all these... Within this period stop being overly principled (possibly you inherited that from your dad). Behave like a bitch with your husband.. Watch some porn with him... Get into so much erotic feelings basically for him to handle... Let it be intentional. Secretly take pills so you won't conceive during this period till you're convinced and start getting connected.

That's sex therapy.. Maybe it would work.

If these don't work. Please follow your heart and look for joy. Life is too short to remain unhappy intentionally

4 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by BlackPeni5: 10:02pm On Feb 22, 2020
Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.


Madam,

I totally understand how you feel. I had to log on to Nairaland just to respond.

The truth is, you are not over your Ex. There hasnt been closure yet with your past and as long as you remain attached to your Ex, you can never move forward with your husband.

Now, the reason why you haven't been able to move on is because your Ex didn't really do anything to offend you so you have little or nothing against him. You also feel guilty for following your parents instructions and not your heart.

You must forgive yourself and ask your Ex for forgiveness and encourage him to move on.

Make peace with your past so you can embrace your future.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by robosky02(m): 10:03pm On Feb 22, 2020
This case needs deliverance
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Bishop(m): 10:06pm On Feb 22, 2020
Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

ANHEDONIA[b][/b]

People who experience anhedonia have lost interest in activities they used to enjoy and have a decreased ability to feel pleasure. It's a core symptom of major depressive disorder, but it can also be a symptom of other mental health disorders. Some people who experience anhedonia don't have a mental disorder.
https://www.healthline.com › health
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by LSA: 10:06pm On Feb 22, 2020
God punish you for suffering the man

2 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by MondayOsunbor(m): 10:07pm On Feb 22, 2020
Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.


wait why is your English so similar
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Ivoryd1: 10:07pm On Feb 22, 2020
Tallesty1:
Please sit down so that rest of us at the back can see the OP. grin

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Guy....u no go kill person here for this forum ooo....
This is totally out of tune with d discussion but very funny indeed.....can't just stop laughing

1 Like

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Yomit71(m): 10:07pm On Feb 22, 2020
I don't know why your story dey vex me, you've tried therapist, bla bla bla.
why not pray that God put his love in your heart if you truly want things to work out? Or you think God didn't know what you're passing through.
We neglect God & chose therapist most times.
Human being

2 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by DukeNija(m): 10:09pm On Feb 22, 2020
Girlwhocares:


Yes,I accept my mistake for going into the marriage when i knew i was not not totally into him but i was made to believe love wasnt enough and one can grow in feelings and love in marriage.

How old are you again? You accepted to marry someone you absolutely have no love for and suddenly realize your mistake and wish to opt out of the marriage? OMG. Lol

1 Like

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 10:10pm On Feb 22, 2020
Girlwhocares:


He's highly intelligent which is a great turn on for me in any relationship,we never dated,but we were good friends!
The issue of us getting married was as a result of making his intention known to my people which they accepted all cos he was a good guy whom my mum said he knows he will never treat me wrong!
Yes,i accepted to marry him not for love cos all through our friendship i never see us as lovers but i thought i will overcome all the anxieties and will grow to love him as we grow together(what my mum made me understand)now
I have been struggling with feelings of loving him and its isnt just adding up.
You took the wrong feelings too far. Now you even don't feel guilty of hurting the little kid. Women will always want to eat their cake and still have it. Rubbish!

1 Like

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by vickydevoka(m): 10:11pm On Feb 22, 2020
Mbcastrol:

3yrs without sex!!! I don't understand, then where are you guys getting it from?
They av been masturbating
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Impostor: 10:12pm On Feb 22, 2020
Madam this honestly has nothing to do with spiritual husband. The connection is SIMPLY NOT THERE. There’s no love between you two. It is better you find a space, get away from him, a break of some sort, you will be able to think and find clarity. Be ready for societal battles thou as many will oppose your leaving him. Separation is better for the guy n you. Otherwise you will end up wasting his and your years


Girlwhocares:


Yes,have been dating my bf for (15yrs)he was my first nd the only one have ever loved,our problem started when my dad said he witnessed where exhibited an unruly characters to some elders and also cos of the friends he moves with recently as at then and that he wasnt comfortable with our relationship (which i pleaded and made him understand everyone deserves another chance but cos how principled my dad was he insisted he won't consent to our union)
To be candid,this is the guy have share all my life with,he's all i wanted in a man but my dad opinion ruined our relationship.

I think seperation from my husband is all i need just for clarity sake but honestly,the more i try to make the marriage work the more i drift away from him and I dont know how to go about it.

I have visited two marriage counsellors without informing my husband all in my effort to work things but not yielding results as expected

3 Likes

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