You have already made a choice which is to quit. It is better to free yourself from this bondage you call marriage. Nothing will work for you except it comes from your inner will. Please go back to the person you love so that your soul can rest in perfect peace.

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

Were you in a relationship before you married him, and are you still chatting your ex and wish you were with you ex


Better still

You felt better typing this on Nairaland but your pride won't allow you this this with your husband

Really bad

Girlwhocares:
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I do house chores when the need arises,thou i have someone who assisted me in doing most.
I tried has much as i can to appreciate him and as regards opening up my heart,it seems difficult like there's this defensive mechanism blocking my communications with him.

Do u guys have anything in common? Or differences that attract? Is there anything u wud like or suggest ur husband does, acts or learns so he can be the type of husband u like and can say ur mind to and build affection for? Ur husband may be trying bt trying the wrong things. Every woman/lady has what turns them on or grabs their attention. I think he needs to understand u 1st b4 he can do anything that pleases u.

Just be SUBMISSIVE oooo and your problems are solved.

Madam,

How many years where you single? I mean living without any boyfriend or b4 you meet him.

What makes you decided to get married?

What makes you happy?

What is your greatest regret in life?

Please for the sake of that child, do anything possible to make that marriage work...you are still living in the past wake up and move.
Work on yourself and make yourself happy first..

Girlwhocares:


I have opened up to two counsellors to seek for their professional therapy but they ended up been biased and sentimental,hence their involvement was fruitless.

However,there's no harm in trying another therapist who will more professional in his/her dealings.

Thank you so much for the suggestions and i will surely look into it.

Dear op, sex is meant for bonding. You obviously still miss your ex. You feel bad about it and you somehow feel that you would have had more, done more or even achieved more if you had married him instead of your husband. But that feeling is a big fat lie. Marriage with him would have been same. There wouldnt have been any difference.

Here are things I feel will help
1. Close your ex door. Nothing would have been different, nothing
2. Accept this marriage. Accept it. It's your current reality so accept it. Separation will not help you. 2 years max after seperation, you'll be looking for ways to reconcile with your husband and it wouldve been late by then.
3. Go and have sex. Have sex non stop for like one week and see your feelings change towards your husband. Sex will increase your bond I assure you that.
4. Open up to your husband about your struggles and sincerely assure him that you are willing to make your marriage work.
5. Pray, pray, pray.
6. Every marriage has its own struggles. Accept your own and deal with it.

All the best

I wish you the best

Am not a condemning you but there are some questions you have to answer personally and you need to be sincere with them(questions)

1. Do you agree that you issue is psychological?
2. Have u ever had life threatened issues with your husband?
3. How did you guys gave birth to your 4year old child?
4. Are you ready to move on?

Why all these questions, you asked.?

Most times we need to face the truth and get things straightened. You dated a guy for 15years and your dad truncated your relationship and meeting another man without proper communication and transition (friendship to solemate) did you think you are a robot That can be programmed anytime and anyway. No No No, you should have taken enough time to clear your mind off your ex and develop a friendship with the new guy before both of you entered into marriage. Marriage is deep and involves two serous and spirit attached being. Are you a believer? God can do anything, give HIM THE CHANCE MOST IMPORTANT YOUR HEART. THEN WATCH HOW THINGS WILL FALL IN PLACE. AVOID LONELY PLACE TO AVOID NEGATIVE ACTION

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

I'm sorry ask,how is his sexual ability...this may be the issue for not being emotionally attached to him for good three years.n

Girlwhocares:
@daddytime please i will like to let you know I'm not from a poverty or never chop background.

I came from a very good background thou not born with a golden spoon but a silver spoon wouldnt be an understatement.

Not all matital issues are based on financial benefits & my case isnt an exceptional please.

Thank you for your time.

You have done well with this excellent, mature response to a provocative comment.
I am sure that with minimal effort you will be alright with your marriage, husband and family.
Thanks.

Op you can start from somewhere. I like the fact that you were honest in your presentation of the facts (many women would have still heaped blames on the man). Here are a few things you can do:
1. Make a conscious effort and determination to love him. You can achieve this by trying to go out of your way to do things that can make him happy, buy him gifts, carefully choose your words when talking to him etc.
2. Sit him down and apologize to him. Let him know that your actions haven't been deliberate and that you are working on making things work between you two. Solicit for his help and cooperation to achieve this.
3. Instead of being on social media to chat with others, use that time to scout for interesting stories that you can share with him (especially those that will elicit opinions from him.
Note: this has personally helped me in the past. My girl friend was a very boring person to discuss with. I started going through romance section and other facebook group posta where people share personal stories to seek advixe to scout for real and interesting stories that we usually ended up discussing. Initially it was difficult as her responses were never more than 'hmmmmm', 'na wao' etc. But as time progressed she started finding and sharing stories of her own too.
4. Stop comparing him with your ex(s) or other people for that matter.

Feel free to DM me if you need more help. I wouldn't mind sharing some of these stories and other vital info with you on a daily basis if that will help save your marriage.

First of all, I have two questions: 1. Was the marriage an arranged marriage? 2. Was the marriage entered into for pecuniary or material gains? Reading your post, it seems like you never loved the man prior to and during the marriage. I would have suggested marriage counseling but you can't create what was never there from the beginning, so, counseling would not work. Your next best option is divorce. You need to let him know that you never cared for and loved him and to continue staying in such a loveless marriage does not bode well for him or yourself. I am certain it would be a hard pill for him to swallow but in the final analysis, both parties would be better off. He can then go and find his true love... a woman that would love and appreciate him and you can do the same as well... find the man of your dream that you can truly love. And since you two have a child together, both of you need to do your best to work in the best interest of that child while doing your own separate thing. I would like to use this opportunity to sound a cautionary note to let others who contemplate being involved in a family arranged marriage to think twice because it does not work. You end up living a miserable life and life is too short to live like that. Good luck!

1st n foremost i dnt tink av enuf married women because 90% members of nairaland are made of men n guys....since u've decided 2 hurt n wound pesin pikin wit ur non chalant atitude....carry ur complain 2 platform dat is made 4 only maried women

Girlwhocares:


Yes,have been dating my bf for (15yrs)he was my first nd the only one have ever loved,our problem started when my dad said he witnessed where exhibited an unruly characters to some elders and also cos of the friends he moves with recently as at then and that he wasnt comfortable with our relationship (which i pleaded and made him understand everyone deserves another chance but cos how principled my dad was he insisted he won't consent to our union)
To be candid,this is the guy have share all my life with,he's all i wanted in a man but my dad opinion ruined our relationship.

I think seperation from my husband is all i need just for clarity sake but honestly,the more i try to make the marriage work the more i drift away from him and I dont know how to go about it.

I have visited two marriage counsellors without informing my husband all in my effort to work things but not yielding results as expected

Arrange a meet between me and your husband then you

i think Op has daddy issues. she can only be happy if she has a domineering and authoritative man telling her what she should want have and desire, this was a maturity u were suppose to av achieved b4 going into marriage.. also u're way too guarded, learn to stand and fight whoever or whatever that stands between u and whatever it is that ur hearts wants, even if its ur own self preserving nature. unlearn ur independence and interdependence and learn to co-depend with your husband that's where love grows.. u obviously married a sensitive man, who has layed it all on ur court, and hopeful dat 1 day u wud warm up to him. sit him down and make sure u communicate ur marriage frustration with him, if u're really not happy he has no right to be nonchalant about ur unhappiness if he really

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

My Sister, The Truth is that your Matter seems to be more of Spiritual..

Spirtual Husband seems to be Ravaging your Home...

I won't be suprised if you see yourself being messed up in the dream

If u are in a Bible Believing Church, Consult your Counsellor and Deliverance pastors..

You have really said it all.I also had simpler problem.Just listen to the advise and follow it up.By next month i will be bringing my family to Europe to join me.Lot of communication as made me have feeling for her now.Give it a try and your marriage will work.You must shame the devil and is plans.Good luck.

Girlwhocares:


Thank you so much ma
I really appreciate your contribution and I will work on it.

More wisdom and blessings to you.

It seems that you never loved your husband. You probably got married to him for a different reason and hoped everything will fall in place thereafter. People who marry out of pity fall into the same category. Search your mind and tell yourself the hard truth so you can decide on what’s best for you under the circumstances.

Contact me privately. There is a ritual you have to person personally. I will give you a guide and it won't cost you money.

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

That's the work of charm, evil altar against marriage or spirit husband in action.

It could be one or combinations of the three.

Charm: maybe he used jazz to toast you. So, your inner person doesn't connect.

Evil altar: your village people at work, making you to elicit bizarre behaviour towards him.

Spirit husband: as long as you keep having sex in the dream, you cannot flow with your earthly husband.

But medically, you may be having some Psychiatry disorders. So, you may need to see a psychiatrist!

Girlwhocares:

I have opened up to two counsellors to seek for their professional therapy but they ended up been biased and sentimental,hence their involvement was fruitless.
However,there's no harm in trying another therapist who will more professional in his/her dealings.
Thank you so much for the suggestions and i will surely look into it.

Are these two counselors certified psychologists, psychotherapists?
I suspect that you and your husband are comfortable financially as individuals but you still resent your dad's opposition to the love of your life and can't shake off the feeling of being "forced" into this union.
Please find a certified psychologist/psychotherapist to help sort out your thoughts and open up possibilities that you are locking up. You may even do by telephone if none is available in your vicinity.
You are obviously a good person so I wish you best of luck.

Do you earn more than he does? Do you feel you can rely on him?
Women are wired to depend on men. Perhaps you are not having that "sense" cos you are not sure he can handle your needs.

Girlwhocares:


Well,he's not taking care of my bills,i make my own money but he's responsible in his own lil way.
Thank you.

Did you actually love him before you married him or somebody forced you to marry him or what?

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

matrixmuzi:
Your real husband is down in the ocean. Check your dream life. That man is suffering from what he knows nothing about . Your inner man is not comfortable and wants u to make the mistake which is being a single parent. And once you achieve that regret sets in and it will be too late to make amends. Fight off those thoughts and draw close to God.

God bless you.. these facts people fail to see in marriages.

Ornament2003:
That's the work of charm, evil altar against marriage or spirit husband in action.
It could be one or combinations of the three.
Charm: maybe he used jazz to toast you. So, your inner person doesn't connect.
Evil altar: your village people at work, making you to elicit bizarre behaviour towards him.
Spirit husband: as long as you keep having sex in the dream, you cannot flow with your earthly husband.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/4160988_image_jpeg_jpeg6f95b5e7a24ad4fc0808d6698fd37362



www.nairaland.com/attachments/4108585_img20151221wa020_jpegffa407ba2efc86a3ddb75a6084d3c6aa

But medically, you may be having some Psychiatry disorders. So, you may need to see a psychiatrist!

Why add this after your religious fear-mongering comment

This is serious

matrixmuzi:
Your real husband is down in the ocean. Check your dream life. That man is suffering from what he knows nothing about . Your inner man is not comfortable and wants u to make the mistake which is being a single parent. And once you achieve that regret sets in and it will be too late to make amends. Fight off those thoughts and draw close to God.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/4110070_images64_jpeg4a52841c710b71a7701099ad1c35f02e



www.nairaland.com/attachments/3304018_image_jpeg_jpeg6f95b5e7a24ad4fc0808d6698fd37362

[s]

daddytime:
Yet, another.

Madam, there is nothing anyone on here (a faceless forum) can advise you that'd matter any, or have any meaningful impact on your sham marriage because, from the get-go, you knew love was non-existent amongst anything else that must have attracted him to you.

You knew how you felt about him during courtship, into marriage, and up until now. I'm very certain that the only thing that had changed has been a progression in how much he disgusts you.

I feel so sorry for the poor naive man. He is indeed naive and a mugu. If he wasn't the previous and the latter, trust me when I say, even someone who was blind, deaf and mute, would be just too sensitive to the much hate you have and exhibit for this poor man.

On a side note, does anyone notice how relationships are gradually losing everything relationship about them?

The good old heart2heart or tete a tete between lovers and couples is being daily trashed on the alter of social media, where people now come to bare their minds on issues bordering on their lives and well beings, while hoping to get advised or validation from complete strangers who have zero to no idea how it truly seats with them on the whole.

Everything for the life just dey get k-leg dey go anyhow...

Na wa

[/s]

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

My observations:l
(1) The Op still love or has soft spot for her husband but the problem lies in discovering it.

(2) The Op tried objectively to give details but still reticent with her stories. Certain things either asymmetrical or esoteric apparently happened during the deep relationship with the said Ex. Perhaps, with consequent effect on the current marriage.

3) The Op is still communicating with her ex. Or somebody that knows him Or the Ex might had attained a certain level she never hitherto expected .

PANACEA:
These weird capsules below will surely assuage your Situation.;
1) Don't go to any professional anymore because from your stories, you have already developed ambivalence about them. At this stage, be your own professional with
two paraphernalia; deep self examination and sincerity. Or you go to the root: confide in your mother only.

2) Exempt your self from social media for a long period. Difficult and near impposible but you may not understand the invariable effect in the long run.

3) You have to defy every ill feeling and indifference religiously, consciously or unconsciously and begin to take bath together with husband almost daily including massaging foray. The psychological effect will amaze you more than what a professional will recommend. Perhaps, allow the urge for sex come on its own.

3) cancel every communication channels with your Ex and his close friends with immediate effect. If possible change environment.

4) review your spirituality. Something is very wrong somewhere.

Above all, you still have soft spot for your hubby just turn it in to love and understanding; the two strategic tools needed in marriage and that is the intrinsic reason you have never ased for divorce uptil this moment.

Drink my weird capsules and you will surely make a headway in this marital quagmire of yours.

Thanks

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

life is too short for all these. Yes the deed has been done, you married the wrong person. Pity that man and divorce him. Don’t let him continue to suffer cus u wld never love him

Please go for deliverance in a Bible believing Church so that God will free you from either spirit husband or demonic influence. That's only what will free you. You're the problem not your husband

Vortex369:
@ Girlwhocares

I really am worried how people babysit you on this forum when all you need to learn on how to make your marriage works lie in more than a Gospel Truth.

Here comes my 'more than Gospel Truth' and you deserve it:

You think too highly of yourself, you believe the world revolves around your own happiness. It is silly of you to conjure up this image of your type of man. It is a world of fantasy and smart people know it is nothing but fantasy.

You believe in your heart that he is not your type, and you keep fantasizing about your type in such a manner that you are ready to go down on sex with boys who can not clean the floor that your husband walks, because because they are your type. Those boys you sleep with do not have to do anything to make you like them. You just foolishly like them, cos they are your type. It is not shameful, it is a worrisome case of mentality so disordered by expectation of what should have been that you have lost touch with what is.

I want to repeat that line;

You have lost touch with what is, while your mind is fixated on the framework of what should have been - a fantasy image built on a particular structure of the body and lifestyle that you have totally forgotten that you are married. You are ready to behave single and lie about your marital status and diet to look for ever young because you live in denial. You are hoping someday you will be with your type for ever. A silly fantasy that dies when you realize that you may not be the type of lady for your type of man. When you meet your type of man, are you really his type of woman? mostly no, so the table turns, and you begin to face the Karma you put your husband through. Because obviously, he is also a slave of your type of woman.

Do you want my advise?

No, you have already made up your mind and it is fixated on the frame work of 'your type of man'. But what will give that mind set a hard reset is called 'Disappointment and Heartbreak and Insult' from exposure to the world out there, where there is no protection, no mercy, and definately no loving man who loves you sheepishly and foolishly than the man you have.

He is suffering and too ashamed to tell people how much his own wife hates him and he is helpless because he has not made up his mind.

The day he decides to mix up and share his suffering. He will be liberated, he just does not know what great life he is missing on an account of a mentally deranged woman who is suffering from chronic bipolar disorder engineered by thoughts of what could have been as opposed to what is.

You are not a married woman, because you are obviously in denial. But remember, some day, you will grow old, and lack the love you failed to give to someone who loves you. The Universe is savvy. We programmed it with a reward mechanism.

Solution:
1. Meditation - Stop inputs from all 5 sense organs and be left with your Thoughts alone for 1hr each day.
Watch your thoughts go through the memories and projections of your mind and delete the disgusts you feel for your husband and replace hem with what you love about him, cos you will find that your thoughts are mostly negative. No one can do this for you. This is epigenetics.

2. You are not your thoughts, start using the reticular activating system to replace your 'type of man' image with your husband's image during visualization and contemplation and the fabric of your universe will output that within 30 days of the exercise.

3. Invite your dream master every night to show you the progress on your simulated visualization through dreams and recommend steps to open up your heart chakra for unconditional love for all lives including most importantly your husband.

4. Surrender to the Pilot of your Avatar and seek realignment of your Soul within your husband soul group if you want to be with him.

OR Simply walk away and leave that innocent man to a new girl who will love him unconditionally.

I do not like people like you. So, do not thank me. But if you need my assistance, I can guide you out of your valley of darkness.

Well said, my elder sister is a psychologist & a a very good one for that matter. She said similar attributes to your statements but she does not like to comment publicly.

I frown at a few comments blaming the man in a kind of way that he forced himself on her. He didn’t force himself, he went for who he loves with much passion & zeal and not force

Girlwhocares:


He's highly intelligent which is a great turn on for me in any relationship,we never dated,but we were good friends!
The issue of us getting married was as a result of making his intention known to my people which they accepted all cos he was a good guy whom my mum said he knows he will never treat me wrong!
Yes,i accepted to marry him not for love cos all through our friendship i never see us as lovers but i thought i will overcome all the anxieties and will grow to love him as we grow together(what my mum made me understand)now
I have been struggling with feelings of loving him and its isnt just adding up.

The guy must be too cold for the nonsense, leave him and let him rest. You can't love him after giving birth to a child for him. in fact, the paternity of the child should be validated. Go and meet those you love and tell us later