zexy2030:

for u r husband to stop having sex with u that long, prolly has observed you have tendency to cheat, hence he is getting it outside, and he noticed from ur attitude you never loved him but he needed a good wife. unfortunately got a woman who was forced to marrying him and not loving him.
I sense u have started cheating u because u insisted on a divorce.

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

zyzxx:
1. I appreciate you at least care about the poor man, it means you are not heartless
2. The fact is you will still have to open up, else things will go more wrong, but since you have the mindset that you want it work, itemize the activities you did then with your ex. Involve your husband in it, do things you love together... Behind him back to your taste, you can't go back to your ex again. So you don't have choice than to make the one you have work

This is a long marriage that you can't just break

Your victory is in "open up"
Open up to him then both of you work it out

While you keep praying to God to make you love him

daddytime:
Yet, another.

Madam, there is nothing anyone on here (a faceless forum) can advise you that'd matter any, or have any meaningful impact on your sham marriage because, from the get-go, you knew love was non-existent amongst anything else that must have attracted him to you.

You knew how you felt about him during courtship, into marriage, and up until now. I'm very certain that the only thing that had changed has been a progression in how much he disgusts you.

I feel so sorry for the poor naive man. He is indeed naive and a mugu. If he wasn't the previous and the latter, trust me when I say, even someone who was blind, deaf and mute, would be just too sensitive to the much hate you have and exhibit for this poor man.

On a side note, does anyone notice how relationships are gradually losing everything relationship about them?

The good old heart2heart or tete a tete between lovers and couples is being daily trashed on the alter of social media, where people now come to bare their minds on issues bordering on their lives and well beings, while hoping to get advised or validation from complete strangers who have zero to no idea how it truly seats with them on the whole.

Everything for the life just dey get k-leg dey go anyhow...

Na wa

UjuJoan2:
It's because of situations like this that I wholly support open marriages.

espn:
I suspect you must be seeing someone or someone else is making you happy...

Secondly maybe you still see an ex of yours or someone you once loved or dated, and you keep comparing him to your husband...

He has nothing to loose if you decide to end the marriage...you will....

daddytime:
Yet, another.

Madam, there is nothing anyone on here (a faceless forum) can advise you that'd matter any, or have any meaningful impact on your sham marriage because, from the get-go, you knew love was non-existent amongst anything else that must have attracted him to you.

You knew how you felt about him during courtship, into marriage, and up until now. I'm very certain that the only thing that had changed has been a progression in how much he disgusts you.

I feel so sorry for the poor naive man. He is indeed naive and a mugu. If he wasn't the previous and the latter, trust me when I say, even someone who was blind, deaf and mute, would be just too sensitive to the much hate you have and exhibit for this poor man.

On a side note, does anyone notice how relationships are gradually losing everything relationship about them?

The good old heart2heart or tete a tete between lovers and couples is being daily trashed on the alter of social media, where people now come to bare their minds on issues bordering on their lives and well beings, while hoping to get advised or validation from complete strangers who have zero to no idea how it truly seats with them on the whole.

Everything for the life just dey get k-leg dey go anyhow...

Na wa

Vortex369:
@ Girlwhocares

I really am worried how people babysit you on this forum when all you need to learn on how to make your marriage works lie in more than a Gospel Truth.

Here comes my 'more than Gospel Truth' and you deserve it:

You think too highly of yourself, you believe the world revolves around your own happiness. It is silly of you to conjure up this image of your type of man. It is a world of fantasy and smart people know it is nothing but fantasy.

You believe in your heart that he is not your type, and you keep fantasizing about your type in such a manner that you are ready to go down on sex with boys who can not clean the floor that your husband walks, because because they are your type. Those boys you sleep with do not have to do anything to make you like them. You just foolishly like them, cos they are your type. It is not shameful, it is a worrisome case of mentality so disordered by expectation of what should have been that you have lost touch with what is.

I want to repeat that line;

You have lost touch with what is, while your mind is fixated on the framework of what should have been - a fantasy image built on a particular structure of the body and lifestyle that you have totally forgotten that you are married. You are ready to behave single and lie about your marital status and diet to look for ever young because you live in denial. You are hoping someday you will be with your type for ever. A silly fantasy that dies when you realize that you may not be the type of lady for your type of man. When you meet your type of man, are you really his type of woman? mostly no, so the table turns, and you begin to face the Karma you put your husband through. Because obviously, he is also a slave of your type of woman.

Girlwhocares:


Yes,have been dating my bf for (15yrs)he was my first nd the only one have ever loved,our problem started when my dad said he witnessed where exhibited an unruly characters to some elders and also cos of the friends he moves with recently as at then and that he wasnt comfortable with our relationship (which i pleaded and made him understand everyone deserves another chance but cos how principled my dad was he insisted he won't consent to our union)
To be candid,this is the guy have share all my life with,he's all i wanted in a man but my dad opinion ruined our relationship.

I think seperation from my husband is all i need just for clarity sake but honestly,the more i try to make the marriage work the more i drift away from him and I dont know how to go about it.

I have visited two marriage counsellors without informing my husband all in my effort to work things but not yielding results as expected

daddytime:
Yet, another.

Madam, there is nothing anyone on here (a faceless forum) can advise you that'd matter any, or have any meaningful impact on your sham marriage because, from the get-go, you knew love was non-existent amongst anything else that must have attracted him to you.

You knew how you felt about him during courtship, into marriage, and up until now. I'm very certain that the only thing that had changed has been a progression in how much he disgusts you.

I feel so sorry for the poor naive man. He is indeed naive and a mugu. If he wasn't the previous and the latter, trust me when I say, even someone who was blind, deaf and mute, would be just too sensitive to the much hate you have and exhibit for this poor man.

On a side note, does anyone notice how relationships are gradually losing everything relationship about them?

The good old heart2heart or tete a tete between lovers and couples is being daily trashed on the alter of social media, where people now come to bare their minds on issues bordering on their lives and well beings, while hoping to get advised or validation from complete strangers who have zero to no idea how it truly seats with them on the whole.

Everything for the life just dey get k-leg dey go anyhow...

Na wa

Girlwhocares:


Yes,have been dating my bf for (15yrs)he was my first nd the only one have ever loved,our problem started when my dad said he witnessed where exhibited an unruly characters to some elders and also cos of the friends he moves with recently as at then and that he wasnt comfortable with our relationship (which i pleaded and made him understand everyone deserves another chance but cos how principled my dad was he insisted he won't consent to our union)
To be candid,this is the guy have share all my life with,he's all i wanted in a man but my dad opinion ruined our relationship.

I think seperation from my husband is all i need just for clarity sake but honestly,the more i try to make the marriage work the more i drift away from him and I dont know how to go about it.

I have visited two marriage counsellors without informing my husband all in my effort to work things but not yielding results as expected

Girlwhocares:


He's highly intelligent which is a great turn on for me in any relationship,

we never dated,but we were good friends!

Yes,i accepted to marry him not for love

cos i never see us as lovers

but i thought i will overcome and will grow to love him as we grow together

(what my mum made me understand).

I have been struggling with feelings of loving him and its isnt just adding up.

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

Girlwhocares:


I have opened up to two counsellors to seek for their professional therapy but they ended up been biased and sentimental,hence their involvement was fruitless.

However,there's no harm in trying another therapist who will more professional in his/her dealings.

Thank you so much for the suggestions and i will surely look into it.

Spain007:


Three years without sex...tell that to ur child.
Ur problem is that u're searching for something not sold in the market.
Some lover boy dey corner dey whine you while u dey other side dey stress ur muguMan.
Body go tell you once ur eye clears

healthserve:



She herself placed mental blocks to not love him no matter ehat he does. Thiugh the power to be able to love him is within her. Amongst many other things I'm picking in my own inner truth discerning systems. To avoid wasting my precious counsel is ehy i called her whom she was and told her the right thing to do, to elt the man go. Maturity many times isn't using plenting words thats why i settled fro two this morning

" Witch " and " Divorce ". I hope you get my drift now


She's a useless human being. This one is past redemption. Her soul is dry bitter and narcissistic. Only the Holyspirit can help these kinds. Theraphy and cuddling her with niceties won't. If she came to me for theraphy with this, she's in trouble.


So sometimes i could be detailed other times I'll be abrupt, blunt and instant. As the Holyspirit leads me

DeeMain:


Holy Spirit leading you to curse a woman, who feels helpless and hopeless in the face of a problem she is seeking solutions for, and meanly label her with such acerbic words? Chairman check again. Demonic spirits will be more like it.

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

Girlwhocares:


Yes,have been dating my bf for (15yrs)he was my first nd the only one have ever loved,our problem started when my dad said he witnessed where exhibited an unruly characters to some elders and also cos of the friends he moves with recently as at then and that he wasnt comfortable with our relationship (which i pleaded and made him understand everyone deserves another chance but cos how principled my dad was he insisted he won't consent to our union)
To be candid,this is the guy have share all my life with,he's all i wanted in a man but my dad opinion ruined our relationship.

I think seperation from my husband is all i need just for clarity sake but honestly,the more i try to make the marriage work the more i drift away from him and I dont know how to go about it.

I have visited two marriage counsellors without informing my husband all in my effort to work things but not yielding results as expected

toye440:
let me guess, they both said thesame thing; the brutal and bitter truth. Woman u cant get to the promise land while u r still grieving over Egypt. U r still carrying experiences from ur past relationship, which is dangerous.
Look they say before u leap, but in ur case it was the other way round. Woman wake up from this stupidity, and try to reciprocate his love, its not too late to be his wife and a good mother to ur child. Trust me good men are hard to come bye, u r blessed with one and all u do is dish out ur trifling excuses for not been able to love him. Nothing comes easy, u hv gat to fight for it.