Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,153,037 members, 7,818,062 topics. Date: Sunday, 05 May 2024 at 06:28 AM

I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed - Romance (9) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed (65067 Views)

Jennifer Oseh: Security Man Falls In Love With Working Class Lady, She Reacts / "I Slept With This Lady, She Demanded For N200k But I Gave Her N20k" - Man Says / Any HIV Positive Lady On Here For A Serious Relationship? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) ... (15) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 1:33pm On May 12, 2020
grossintel:
Your posts are rigged of Hypocrisy, you preach God and Love but spite another for loving a human being unconditionally. Isn't that what christ preaches? He's trying to make it right by settling down with her and seeking advice but you advise against it, because she's HIV+ and should be casted into hell. This is why the judgement of God will begin from the church, you should be ashamed of yourself!

I'm speechless. Thats all I have to say.
Good day.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by INDUSTRIALFAN(m): 1:34pm On May 12, 2020
Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.
this is how people go about spreading what people do not want. She was kind enough to tell you her status, you lived her non the less which is commendable. Now she is pregnant and your mind is shaking. You better not break up with her o. You better marry her because you are not scared of the virus and are okay with it. It is not a death sentence. I am speaking this way because if you break up with her, you will definitely want to date someone else. Someone who may not want HIV and you will not.... I repeat.... You will not tell them of your past except you are as truthful and kind as that beautiful woman. You have entered you have entered... Suck it up and own your child. Go and do the right thing man.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by kiddapunk: 1:34pm On May 12, 2020
Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.
don't start a thing you can't finish young man. If you can handle it do, if you can't walk away. No one in your family is marrying her but you. So be a man and do what's right
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 1:36pm On May 12, 2020
KnightsTemplar:


Omugo wetin? They are not married, and I think OP has developed cold feet.


I know they are not married, but she’s pregnant. They might want to quickly rush an introduction to formalize the whole thing..

Besides, I don’t think the guy has any Cold feet After entering hot valley of the shadow of death repeatedly...?? I don’t think so...: he has just gotten to the junction where he realized a family is more than two people....and he doesn’t know how to handle his family aspect of the whole thing

1 Like

Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by igbowoman: 1:37pm On May 12, 2020
Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.

You can still get HIV from a lady with undetectable viral load.Stop playing Russian roulette with your life
Ask them at the HIV counseling place they can teach you safe ways to get her pregnant while protecting yourself. Stop acting like a kid.
You must love yourself to love someone else.it doesnt look like you think much of yourself.
Regarding the breastfeeding etc you can opt not to have anyone come for omugwo
It's your choice
Keep her status private please.
Things happen ,people talk and tease
Keep that to yourself if u love this woman I beg you.
Make sure she gives birth in a hospital that can handle her situation. There are series of medications the baby must take to prevent her being positive.
She must coordinate with her center to keep her and baby safe.You stay safe
Wear a condom
Good luck
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Zane2point4(m): 1:40pm On May 12, 2020
I dont know why someone will see a very big fire and still trying to jump into it.
If its inknownly maybe it's forgivable.but with your two eyes open you're a daft person.
Is she the only girl in the whole world?
If tables turn arnd will she agree for u?
Na wao.puzzy niggers everywere.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by sonsyosas(m): 1:40pm On May 12, 2020
How is that possible that you have not yet contacted the virus, anyway I respect ur boldness. But I will suggest you don't tell anyone cos if ur family member knows, most especially your parents.... They will never accept her and the baby. So just keep everything to urself...

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by guy222: 1:41pm On May 12, 2020
Adex2442:
RUN OP, RUN
And Never stop RUNNING
you want him to run naked abi?
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 1:43pm On May 12, 2020
Eulalia:


I'm speechless. Thats all I have to say.
Good day.

That was an uppercut. Practice what you preach.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Theoutsider: 1:43pm On May 12, 2020
If you had HIV and she was clean. Most likely she would not go out with you.

But because many men here are brain washed into thinking they must "bite the bullet" They make their penis do all the talking.

It amazing how many men use religion or archaic thinking to subject them selves already difficult times.

Also, the lack of control to not wear a condom. angry

1 Like

Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by oshorstan(f): 1:44pm On May 12, 2020
I respect your courage. I do admire what you did for Love.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Sultty(m): 1:44pm On May 12, 2020
I wanted to comment to give op an advice then I saw his moniker is @crazeman03.i pity ur kind sha no worry u mistakes will soon dawn on u love ko feeling ni
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by golddare: 1:44pm On May 12, 2020
Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.


Dont tell anybody, if you are worried about suspicion then relocate to somewhere else. I think you should bone and move on with your woman. No send them.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Zane2point4(m): 1:48pm On May 12, 2020
J111333:
I will say my mind, don't give a damn what anyone thinks. I will dare not start a relationship let alone have unprotected sex with a hiv patient.

Yes she is nice to you now, loves you and all that but believe me, every woman in her shoes will do so too. Humility mostly comes after setback or disgrace. I can bet that if you had met her when she was slaying before contracting the virus, she might not have easily settled for you without messing around like several ladies of her age today. Don't take the humility of an injured lion too seriously my friend.

Well, you already got her pregnant so deal with your issues but wait until you are also cornered by the virus to see her true character.

You are a careless man and I stay far away from your type.
Very very very very very very "carless"
This is stupidity in all shades,with both eyes open,person tell u say she get hiv u still carry prick put.
Am sure na all these puzzy nigers wey no deh see puzzy fuccck e deh hard dm.

2 Likes

Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Tolani0167(m): 1:49pm On May 12, 2020
You’re a real man
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by cchima: 1:49pm On May 12, 2020
missvaj2015:



Guy I love your response. That is just the big truth. Forget telling them and stay with the woman you love. About breastfeeding; she can but the hospital would give her some drugs that would make the virus not to affect the baby.

Exactly, and she will breastfeed exclusively I.e only breast without physical water. While your feed well and breastfeed

1 Like

Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by passion007: 1:50pm On May 12, 2020
Great job for being open minded, not a lot of Nigerians are like you. Some wicked people will walk away, and worse still, tell everyone that she's positive. You can feel all the negativity on this thread too, but ignore them in their ignorance.

Let me reassure you that the risk of getting hiv from her is zero. No risk! Also, your babies have no risk of being positive. There's been incredible research done in this regard, hence you'll hear experts say "U equals U", which means Undetectable means Untransmittable.

Read more about it here :
http://i-base.info/u-equals-u/
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Shancca: 1:51pm On May 12, 2020
emyrald91:
Help how?

You know get sense?

HIV is not a death sentence though.

But let me ask you, do you know your current status?

Are you normal?
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Goodzinny: 1:53pm On May 12, 2020
Don't disclose to anyone yet or even ever. Since the mother that will come for 'omugwo' is aware that's all. If your people come around when she delivers, then she has to be an actress. How? She can pretend to go inside the bedroom for breastfeeding and after a while come out and bottle feed and may call it a top up for the baby. It will be better for her not to do exclusive breastfeeding as relatives that are not aware may interrupt the process and expose the child.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Tboysalau(m): 1:57pm On May 12, 2020
Crazeman03:


They will ask questions.
Mothers living with HIV who are on treatment and are being fully supported to adhere to it can exclusively breastfeed their infants for the first six months of life, then introduce complementary foods while continuing to breastfeed for at least 12 months and up to 24 months or longer ........this is according to the WHO 2016 guidelines
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by atausenima(f): 1:58pm On May 12, 2020
its likely most of the people giving you advice has not experience this.we are in this together.let me tell you a brief story of my life.I got to know my Wife status when she was 7months pregnant.we ran compatibility test(blood group,genotype,Hiv) before marriage in three good hospital she was fine.
i was devastated but i took courage,my marriage is 15yrs now,i am still negative,she is taken hers drugs and we have 4 lovely kids.
give her love and care,enjoy the wife of your youth.

#I am still do doing research work on the story regarding this matter of HIV/AIDS

3 Likes

Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by ganiyheart(f): 1:58pm On May 12, 2020
And they are a lot of answers:.(Even though na lie)
She can't breastfeed cos the doctor says she can't
She can breast feed because she is on antibiotics
She can't breastfeed cos she is not producing milk
She can't breastfeed cos she has Typhoid and can be passed to the child.

Etc etc.

My opinion

Crazeman03:


They will ask questions.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 2:00pm On May 12, 2020
JUICYPINEAPPLE:


That was an uppercut. Practice what you preach.

Hey... You guys prolly didn't get the point I was trying to make there. I was speaking against fornication. Please I'm outtya here! I do not wished to be dragged into your confusion.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Soltex456: 2:00pm On May 12, 2020
Keep this topic for now,make covid-19 pass I beg u.then ,we go talk about am.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by AFONJACOW(m): 2:03pm On May 12, 2020
pallbearers come and dance with this guy , two corpse loading
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by dazzlingd(m): 2:03pm On May 12, 2020
Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.

I just want to know the kind liver u get to dey straff HIV positive person....and to even talk of raw??
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by biggy26: 2:05pm On May 12, 2020
Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.
I think you should keep between both of you for now. Breastfeeding isn't a problem, even some normal women don't breastfeed for different reasons. Just buy the necessary milk for the newborn.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Hallenjay: 2:05pm On May 12, 2020
J111333:
I will say my mind, don't give a damn what anyone thinks. I will dare not start a relationship let alone have unprotected sex with a hiv patient.

Yes she is nice to you now, loves you and all that but believe me, every woman in her shoes will do so too. Humility mostly comes after setback or disgrace. I can bet that if you had met her when she was slaying before contracting the virus, she might not have easily settled for you without messing around like several ladies of her age today. Don't take the humility of an injured lion too seriously my friend.

Well, you already got her pregnant so deal with your issues but wait until you are also cornered by the virus to see her true character.

You are a careless man and I stay far away from your type.
this would Av been my msg too plus she hide d status for 7 good months.
Untill you've the virus, her true identity is still hidden somewhere around her neck... You can test it by lieing to her dat u Av the virus and even go ahead to show her u r taking the retroviral drugs. Her real sef will amaze yhu and dats when you'll witness the real Lion she is.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by famzynet: 2:06pm On May 12, 2020
She can breastfeed her baby as long as she is taking her medications. The child will be given medications too. But it must be exclusive breastfeeding with no mixed feeding for 6months. Breastfeeding stops whenever you bring in other feeding .
Use protection when you meet her except when you want to procreate.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by ronyman(m): 2:09pm On May 12, 2020
Your status prior to the union!!
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 2:10pm On May 12, 2020
Eulalia:


Hey... You guys prolly didn't get the point I was trying to make there. I was speaking against fornication. Please I'm outtya here! I do not wished to be dragged into your confusion.

Really!!!

The only point I was able to get was your sense of SELF RIGHTOUSNESS. Is God no more the FORGIVING, the MERCIFUL?!!!

Since the deed has been done what your own advice?!!! Your SELFRIGHTEOUSNESS
has none to give even when a INNOCENT UNBORN child is now at stake.

3 Likes

Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by cchima: 2:12pm On May 12, 2020
atausenima:
its likely most of the people giving you advice has not experience this.we are in this together.let me tell you a brief story of my life.I got to know my Wife status when she was 7months pregnant.we ran compatibility test(blood group,genotype,Hiv) before marriage in three good hospital she was fine.
i was devastated but i took courage,my marriage is 15yrs now,i am still negative,she is taken hers drugs and we have 4 lovely kids.
give her love and care,enjoy the wife of your youth.

#I am still do doing research work on the story regarding this matter of HIV/AIDS

This is cool and truth well said. Am a witness too

(1) (2) (3) ... (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) ... (15) (Reply)

My Pre Wedding Pics / This Nigerian Man Forgave & Took Girlfriend Back After She Cheated &got Pregnant / Man Planned With Police To Propose To Girlfriend, What Happened Next Is Shocking

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 103
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.