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I Was A Husband: My Experience - Family (10) - Nairaland

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Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Xisnin(m): 1:30pm On May 14, 2020
Fake story.
From your last paragraph, you don't care but still took the time to type a long sympathy-seeking story.

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by wirinet(m): 1:30pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


My bro every man has a 3 months grace to get his shit together.

Life happens and most wives especially in a society like NG prefer to be married at least for appearance sake so for a woman to go from angel to witch ... it takes 3 months.

Now for better for better not worse ..... that statement does not supercede the man being an infidel or worse than an infidel when he cannot provide. They will be together but he will leave by himself when the fury of hell is brought on him.

No one is more resilient than women - she is programmed to carry a child for 9 months - but no matter how.much money she has..... for emphasis I will repeat no matter how much money she has - she is not programmed to shelter, feed or cloth a man least of all her husband.


See the bible said worse than an infidel - meaning he will be treated worse than an infidel.

Teach your sons how to make money. Let the girls go to school and let the boys learn to trade and go to school.

A man is practically useless in a family setting if he is not providing

Ire o

This is the primitive ideology that has kept and is keeping Africa in the dark ages. This ideology has no place in modern societies. When societies were agrarian and less stable, men were the strength and sole providers of families and the society, but when we began building stable mega-cities and the societies became knowledge based, women left the kitchen and bedroom and started contributing to families and societies.

This primitive philosophy would lead to men refusing to educate or contribute to the progress of their wives. Most men elevate the status of their wives so that when the man falls on hard times (which usually happen in the lives of most men), the wive can carry the family. If the man becomes incapacitated due to ill health or accident or even death, the wives would be in a position to carry the family, instead of the children becoming destitute, There is a reason for the "for richer or for poorer" and "in sickness or in health" part of the marriage vow.

In organized societies, family fortunes are shared between both couples in marriage and in separation, but in primitive societies, women want to have their cake and eat it, The man's properties are family properties, but the woman's properties are her sole property.

35 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by thatsleepboy1: 1:30pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

I was moved to tears and your story is very emotional.
OP you passed through a lot. May God guide u wella.

But be patient with women and shine your eyes. It's the next woman in your life that'll suffer for her sins.

7 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by jlomz: 1:31pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi
@tunmiluabi your story is loaded ooooooO, but my only question is how did your end up landing that #500K job, and please am a Data Analyst enthusiast I need help/guidance please (on my knees).
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Dyt(f): 1:31pm On May 14, 2020
eni4real:
Won de shocked

eni4real:
Na so

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by fortune1968: 1:32pm On May 14, 2020
Most women are like that . They are difficult to relate with . Your wife didn't behave well . Thank God you could control your anger otherwise, you might be in jail now forfeiting your freedom forever because of a mean and wayward woman
Please, forget her forever . Don't discuss with anybody concern her matter again . If she has sent you to jail the child will live .
You peace of mind is important so take it and cherish it . Take your time before you go for another woman and be very careful . When you have another child the thought of how she may present you to your child will diminish . Let her do whatever she like .
Remember, it will be a FATAL mistake should you allow her back and that will surely mark THE BEGINNING OF YOUR END .

14 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 1:32pm On May 14, 2020
eni4real:
Please how much is surrogacy in Nigeria??

This Marriage of a thing is very scary!!

A lovely Angel today may become a manipulative Devil tommorow ... And still blame you for being the cause. shocked shocked shocked shocked

About 3.5million

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by olamy7(m): 1:32pm On May 14, 2020
BlissB:
All I can say is to watch out for your kid, he/she should never feel your absence....
I really feel bad when a home is broken......
Because I'm from one and I don't wish it on anyone but then we should all do what makes us happy with due consideration....
hello, I just read about the guy that was disturbing you then. I just want to know how you later resolve the issue cheesy
BlissB:
All I can say is to watch out for your kid, he/she should never feel your absence....
I really feel bad when a home is broken......
Because I'm from one and I don't wish it on anyone but then we should all do what makes us happy with due consideration....
hello, I just read about the guy that was disturbing you then. I just want to know how you later resolve the issue..thanks
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by alasane: 1:32pm On May 14, 2020
You have a weak mind......after caught her cheating you still called her your wife?? pathetic "A MAN IS NOT A MAN SIMPLY BECAUSE HE PARADE AN OKRO SPROUT" Chinua Achebe...

13 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by clemmonce(m): 1:32pm On May 14, 2020
Wiifesnatcher:



must you tell your family everything in the first place? as a man you must have the mental capacity to handle some emotions yourself


I just pity men that forgive a promiscuous girlfriend/wife. this is a weird act, forgiven won't take away from her, rather she would cover any loophole that will make you to get her again

if you're good for her, she won't feel for any men outside.
Her own was not cheating ooo... She had a child she lied about it until i found out the was born while she was very very young. Cheating is no no for me. I dont tolerate women that cheat, I will delete instantly. Never experienced it hope not to.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by omonnakoda: 1:32pm On May 14, 2020
You are a psychopath with bad mouth.

In your eyes you think you know it all and have all bases covered for that very reason awon ti o l'aiye .

Will shake your reality tomorrow
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 1:32pm On May 14, 2020
Dyt:




Defensive meme undecided

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by adegeye38(m): 1:33pm On May 14, 2020
Obingene:
Hian!!

Cold shivers ran down my spines as I read this.

I'm so not enthusiastic about marriage anymore.
Marriage is sweet and awesome if God is d foundation of that marriage

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Dyt(f): 1:33pm On May 14, 2020
eni4real:
Defensive meme undecided

Over what?
cheesy cheesy grin grin grin cheesy grin
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 1:33pm On May 14, 2020
wirinet:


This is the primitive ideology that has kept and is keeping Africa in the dark ages. This ideology has no place in modern societies. When societies were agrarian and less stable, men were the strength and sole providers of families and the society, but when we began building stable mega-cities and the societies became knowledge based, women left the kitchen and bedroom and started contributing to families and societies.

This primitive philosophy would lead to men refusing to educate or contribute to the progress of their wives. Most men elevate the status of their wives so that when the man falls on hard times (which usually happen in the lives of most men), the wive can carry the family. or when if the man becomes incapacitated due to ill health or accident or even death, the wive would be in a position to carry the family, instead of the children becoming destitute, There is a reason for the for richer or for poorer and in sickness or in health part of the marriage vow.

In organized societies, family fortunes are shared between both couples in marriage and in separation, but in primitive societies, women want to have their cake and eat it, The man's properties are family properties, but the woman's properties are her sole property.

Na Dem!

Big english NO sense of responsibility

You are welcome to club infidel, take a seat pls

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Wiifesnatcher(m): 1:33pm On May 14, 2020
clemmonce:
Her own was not cheating ooo... She had a child she lied about it until i found out the was born while she was very very young. Cheating is no no for me. I dont tolerate women that cheat, I will delete instantly. Never experienced it hope not to.



alright
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Samakus(m): 1:33pm On May 14, 2020
Lamanii22:
I think marriage isn't worth it then!

My dear Lamanii22, never allow your head to believe that. That it didn't work for others doesn't mean it won't work for you. I'm not married yet but I will be and I will enjoy it.

Of course, these tales of marital issues we're seeing on Nairaland helps to put in perspective that marriage involves work. I will work for my marriage to work. There are no other options other than that I will marry and I will enjoy it.

Do have a nice day

4 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 1:34pm On May 14, 2020
Hmm... So pathetic. This kinda things make marriage very scary. But our hope is in God and a Christian marriage.

Some men and women are pretenders. Only love you when the going is good but turn to demons when things go sour.
May God deliver us from every pretender.

10 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by safetyzone(m): 1:34pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.
Tunmi


This is really interesting OP and thanks for sharing your story. A whole lot happen in marriage that most people dnt talk about, some will decide to go violent, others could decide to take a partners life. Grace found you the moment you took that decision to leave. Very honorable. God bless you and will continue to protect your kids. Will advise you formalize the separation and take custody of your kids if you so wish.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 1:34pm On May 14, 2020
Nawa
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 1:34pm On May 14, 2020
Vyolet:
Everytime a woman leaves a poor man or reacts badly to him, the man always end up having a well paying job and the woman always want to come back...
Op, you forgot to write the part where she is willing to come back and live with you in Lekki grin cheesy.
it's not every time. Women leave men for financial reasons all the time but it's the only ones who later got the money that speak about it. The others that are still struggling and suffering can't talk about it normally naa

11 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by SocialJustice: 1:34pm On May 14, 2020
Obingene:
Hian!!

Cold shivers ran down my spines as I read this.

I'm so not enthusiastic about marriage anymore.
Made up my mind this year, marriage isn't worth it. Just have your kids and be responsible for their welfare. Na Timaya formula sure pass.

7 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by mofresh(m): 1:34pm On May 14, 2020
[ ][hahahahaha..@op take good care of your child and moved on without your wife or remarry,there are plenty sweet woman, lady, girl that are still available or willing to be your wife sir,she cheated on you in your marriage she will do again and again till she chance you for the sugar boy ie she might kill you ..thank you ][/sub]

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Buffalo2(m): 1:35pm On May 14, 2020
90% of women out there are like that. I am pretty sure that she'll start begging the man now that God has opened door for him

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 1:35pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


About 3.5million
That's better than Nagging!
Not too expensive!!

4 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Babyforever(f): 1:35pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:



Thank you...
So when do you intend to officially get divorce and get married i mean at 46 you're still young and you have all this going on for you i mean a girl in her early 20s won't mind getting married to you.....Just think about it i know you like it don't lipsrsealed I'll leave it here so you can decide smiley

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 1:35pm On May 14, 2020
Dyt:


Over what?
cheesy cheesy grin grin grin cheesy grin
That must be a rhetorical question undecided
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by lomprico(m): 1:36pm On May 14, 2020
Men dey suffer o
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Donaldaustindon: 1:36pm On May 14, 2020
Yustash001:
Why is that when some women suddenly become richer than their husband...
They start to develop wings..

It means she achieve that by sleeping her way to the top. No woman with fear of God will look down on her man even when she's earning more. She will see it as blessing from God and will even lift the husband

5 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Babyforever(f): 1:37pm On May 14, 2020
mofresh:
[ ][hahahahaha..@op take good care of your child and moved on without your wife or remarry,there are plenty sweet woman, lady, girl that are still available or willing to be your wife sir,she cheated on you in your marriage she will do again and again till she chance you for the sugar boy ie she might kill you ..thank you ][/sub]
That's what i'm telling him a girl in her early 20s won't mind getting married to a man of 46yrs old he's still young with a promising future

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Godspower35(m): 1:37pm On May 14, 2020
Hmmmmmm.................I felt pains in my heart... To be sincere its rare for you to find a woman that will share things with you equally without insulting you,infact that was in the past. Personally,i don't advise men to share responsibility with women because eventually it leads to fight most cases divorce and its really bad when a female earns more,most cases insult comes in. Marriage is funny,the good person you see this moment might be the devil afterwards.Keep on with your good life.God will fulfill your heart desire.
[/quote]

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 1:37pm On May 14, 2020
God help me, my wife and my children. bless my marriage. many of us go through things. that's why many ladies getting eager to marry out there, u need to be prepared to face the war. only the fittest can survive. *PRAYER IS THE KEY*

1 Like

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