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Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes - Family (9) - Nairaland

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Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Akanoaaa(m): 8:33pm On May 20, 2020
meetme01:
You don F-up. Raising your hands on any woman talkless your wife has degraded you. That's the bitter truth.

Back to the main issue. Your wife needs your unreserved apology. You need remorseful which is through your attitude. Let her know you are deeply sorry.

To her, is she not working? Why have you refused to set her up in a biz? One problem I have realized in today's marriage is, finance. It's really creating a lot of issues in most marriage. As a man, if you earn from three sources, declare only two. Let her know how the money is spent to the last kobo. That was the initial problem, you need to fix that part asap


This comment is irritating me.

3 Likes

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by stormborn28(m): 8:33pm On May 20, 2020
emmaodet:


Bro sorry, there is little or nothing you can do about the situation.
Immediately a lady eyes opens to extravagant and luxurious things that are above your income, the option you have is either to bitterly cut the marriage off or you will have to go down the drain through regular nagging which will lead to high BP then to Cardiac arrest then to stroke then to grave.
I have seen this play out over and over and over and over in many marriages. Please don't let any fvcking woman pressure you to live above your income or lifestyle, it will always end in tears.
Can't she work? dem dey forbid am?
You are working for God sake.
I pity the men in this generation because the women on street right now are mostly damaged. i will urge all men to start learning how to do house chores and take care of babies/kids because from now on, marriages/relationship will keep going sour and more sour.
A neighbour of mine who isn't doing bad, working at Lafarge cement/Wapco in sagamu, driving a nice 2006 toyota camry and apartment averagely furnished was shocked when his wife whom he has 3 kids with abandoned him and the kids to follow her friend to Oman last year.
I was shocked that how will a woman have the heart to leave hubby with 3 BOYS to go to Oman, to do what? hustle? runs?
The calibers of women this generation is churning out are cold-hearted snakes, unremorseful and deadly.
thanks for the advice... I must prepare like the Spartans

1 Like

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Benferdy(m): 8:34pm On May 20, 2020
meetme01:
You don F-up. Raising your hands on any woman talkless your wife has degraded you. That's the bitter truth.

Back to the main issue. Your wife needs your unreserved apology. You need remorseful which is through your attitude. Let her know you are deeply sorry.

To her, is she not working? Why have you refused to set her up in a biz? One problem I have realized in today's marriage is, finance. It's really creating a lot of issues in most marriage. As a man, if you earn from three sources, declare only two. Let her know how the money is spent to the last kobo. That was the initial problem, you need to fix that part asap

Hmmmm: some people do mislead the troubled, some people do give the troubled more problems that worsen their situation.
This is a kind of advice that give women more wings which leads to most men early grave. Men should know this:
never live above your income
never spend above your budget
never pet a lady always
always provide for the family in a principal manner
remember to protect your family on a principal bases
make sure your wife is productive to the family
never allow your wife lure you into decision you can't control

2 Likes

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by simplyshade: 8:36pm On May 20, 2020
Slap at her back. he he he he cheesy
ademidedavid:

It was just a slap at her back.....just to caution her because I am not the talking type

1 Like

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Nobody: 8:36pm On May 20, 2020
[quote author=LegitGirl post=89482446]

You’re not a serious person. You’re not the talking type... what are you then, the beating type?

Nonsense and ingredients! Coward![/quokte]

You are the coward here... If you were my wife and u say this to me, I will definitely resound your dirty face.

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by nifton(m): 8:36pm On May 20, 2020
Emmytrill:
With all what I have been reading online since this lockdown, I can't just help but thank God for my wife o. No troubles, we manage the little we have, drink garri when there is non and smile through it all. Baba God thank u!
I had to like your post, and l've noticed something abt life. People who are content never even have to drink just garri.
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by DeBill: 8:38pm On May 20, 2020
Overlook her and focus on your career/target. Never u react to her naggings, don't get upset, as long as u are doing the right thing, ignore her cos she is only talking, trying to push to her demands. Simply remain unpushable.
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by banio: 8:38pm On May 20, 2020
ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

It's well bro.
Just apologise once for slapping her and nothing more. Don't go into begging, begging and saying endless sorry.

Secondly learn to ignore her and also learn to make her be the guilty party. Learn to make her see she is the lazy one dragging you back in life. Learn to hurt her feelings so that she would realize your importance. Learn to be a man of steel. Learn to make her obey you at all times.

Learn to be the Boss

1 Like

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by djon78(m): 8:38pm On May 20, 2020
12345baba:
If she says go out and make money , just go and book a hotel room and rest with ur smallie girlfriend. In the evening go home and form tiredness. With that peace will reign and u will live longer


An associates wife was complaining to me 2 days ago that the husband rarely stays at home. Always out for his business.
That the correct soup she cooked, the guy never tasted it.
I was saying in my mind, maybe if the guy was a house husband always around not hustling. She will take him for granted. The only thing the guy knows is hustling

I think women take men that hang around them all the time for granted.
That's why you hear such stories.

A man should face his hustling more. The more you are out there hustling, the less she will take the man for granted.
But once you hang around them all the time, you get ridiculed and insult will come.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Nobody: 8:39pm On May 20, 2020
ademidedavid:

It was just a slap at her back.....just to caution her because I am not the talking type


Ignore her when she makes such comments. The more audience you give to people, the more nonsense they pour from their mouth.

1 Like

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Nobody: 8:40pm On May 20, 2020
LegitGirl:


You’re not a serious person. You’re not the talking type... what are you then, the beating type?

Nonsense and ingredients! Coward!

You’re not a serious person. You’re not the talking type... what are you then, the beating type?

Nonsense and ingredients! Coward![/quokte]

You are the coward here... If you were my wife and u say this to me, I will definitely resound your dirty face.

1 Like

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Chukspaul78: 8:40pm On May 20, 2020
I wonder why some ladys that just got married will soundly be come something else to their husband by pushing them to do what so ever in order to get money for them not minding the outcome, i want to ask did she has a brother? How many of her brothers are reach in the society. U better sit up as a man because when u will enter jail she go follow ur guys.
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by vexing(m): 8:40pm On May 20, 2020
meetme01:
You don F-up. Raising your hands on any woman talkless your wife has degraded you. That's the bitter truth.

Back to the main issue. Your wife needs your unreserved apology. You need remorseful which is through your attitude. Let her know you are deeply sorry.

To her, is she not working? Why have you refused to set her up in a biz? One problem I have realized in today's marriage is, finance. It's really creating a lot of issues in most marriage. As a man, if you earn from three sources, declare only two. Let her know how the money is spent to the last kobo. That was the initial problem, you need to fix that part asap
Very wrong advice
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by stormborn28(m): 8:40pm On May 20, 2020
Omar09:

Mr man, you lied. So women gets to push men to the limit and it's OK, but when that sane does react, it becomes degrading.


He does not need to apologize to his wife for any reason. Assuming he hit her for no reason, then he has to apologize for being a mad man. One thing I hate about most NL folks here is that they feel controlling anger is very easy. So as a woman she is excused when she says things to provoke her man, insensitive things at that because she's a woman but when the man reacts, he's called an animal? This is stupidity at it's level. You know, men are the sponsors of Gynocentrism and feminism.



OP didn't state whether or not she's not working. She could be working but op decided to finance his home as the man. But if @op didn't set up a business or a job for his wife, it's quite appalling.
great response
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by damoceile: 8:41pm On May 20, 2020
travelland:
Mr cautioner, hope you don't continue this way, if your wife can't tell you to go out and hustle I wonder who can encourage you in this life

1 Like

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by YemyTemmy: 8:42pm On May 20, 2020
ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

Take it easy ooo, if you die now, it won't take this woman 6 months to jump into the arms of another manga. For peace of mind, have a heart to heart talk with her and if she becomes incorrigible and unreasonable, plz for heaven sake kick her out. Continue with your plans and live life at ease, it's a step at a time.
If you do background work, she is already cheating and maybe fantasising with her ex abroad.
You can equally raise money for her to travel abroad, that is one of the most peaceful way of divorcing someone by paying them off

2 Likes

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by oluscofield(m): 8:43pm On May 20, 2020
rockstarB:

How is it struggle love? abi she no see the man like this before she married him. OP didnt say she was forced or coerced into the marriage. She needs to get a job too, so she can live the kind of life she wants.

If anybody tells you there is perfect marriage, it's the biggest lie.... All marriage has its own bitterness and as the head, u should face it and not let it consume you.... Be prayerful, be patience, instead of beating her, walk out.... Take fresh air.... Don't do more than ursef
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by freshboi88: 8:43pm On May 20, 2020
travelland:
Mr cautioner, hope you don't continue this way, if your wife can't tell you to go out and hustle I wonder who can encourage you in this life

Which stupid hustle, why does go out and hustle sound like go Nd do yahoo.

The man said he is working in a federal establishment n still hustles doing private civil engineering jobs. What other hustle u want mke e do?

OP, if na me, I no go even answer her. Do Ur thing as u fit o, no go kill urself
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by frozen70(f): 8:43pm On May 20, 2020
ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

You don't need to bother yourself much

If her new life style requires more money, she should go out and labour and get it

Don't do more than you can offer

Don't allow her over stretch your elasticity

Do your normal contribution at home and if she feels you are doing nothing, she is free to walk away

I don't like people who are ingrates

They don't provide and they don't appreciate

4 Likes

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Poorboy: 8:45pm On May 20, 2020
Zdoh:
God bless ypu for that bold step
Thanks man
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by chinchonglee(m): 8:45pm On May 20, 2020
meetme01:
You don F-up. Raising your hands on any woman talkless your wife has degraded you. That's the bitter truth.

Back to the main issue. Your wife needs your unreserved apology. You need remorseful which is through your attitude. Let her know you are deeply sorry.

To her, is she not working? Why have you refused to set her up in a biz? One problem I have realized in today's marriage is, finance. It's really creating a lot of issues in most marriage. As a man, if you earn from three sources, declare only two. Let her know how the money is spent to the last kobo. That was the initial problem, you need to fix that part asap
You are very useless for this comment!!!
The wife deserve unending beating!

3 Likes

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Titugirl(f): 8:45pm On May 20, 2020
VictorBode:


Coronavirus has got them stuck at home.

China has even seen an increase in Divorce cases.

So sad
You know right!
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by mukthar2000(m): 8:45pm On May 20, 2020
I guess during ur courtship with her u always form baba Alayee with the lady becos her flamboyant life, u don't let her understand ur worth b4 u marry that lady, brother raising ur hand on her was not the best at this point, just sit her down to let some things about ur financial earning clear to her , I believe with time she most surly blend with u from the flamboyant life style.
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ForkDragnet: 8:47pm On May 20, 2020
[s]
Aplaudez:
The truth is you guys ain't understanding yourselves, if truly she's your wife and she's the mother of your daughter, create a very sweet environment, you can even take her out and sit her down and talk things out!

I'm not happy you couldn't caution yourself, what's done is done, please try to caution yourself next time! [/s]

God bless your family!
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by jesustheissue: 8:49pm On May 20, 2020
You better have God on your side on this or you are a goner! It’s a phase most young marriages struggle with, same here in my time. In fact my wife then (mind you she’s still my only wife, who would want 2)would keep opening up sources of friction and one day she kept urging me to beat her! Haba, but that’s their psychology and by God’s grace I never fell for it. The saving grace was that she went further to report me to an older mother in the Lord who counseled her before seeking my side of the story. Of course the issues were money-related, she wanted to eat her cake and have it. She would spend her salary the way she wanted without my input and want to do same with mine. We both agreed initially that from my salary some contribution be set aside monthly for cooperative savings while I paid for food and children school fees and yet she kept demanding for more, from God knows where! The wise woman advised her to spend less on her siblings and relations and support me a bit more in shouldering the home front. I thank God she saw reason although it’s not that the nagging ceased completely but at least there some more maturity and understanding, so brace up Man.
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by wany(f): 8:49pm On May 20, 2020
HarunaWest:
Sorry to say but if I were in your shoes, that slap will land on her cheeks.
I hate when people don't appreciate someone's efforts.
If she want to live flamboyantly, then she should learn to make her own money. I won't take an insult on my person from someone that isnt contributing to my development.
Don't apologize for slapping her, just lock up. You are the man of the house not the other way round.
However, if she doesn't deem it fit to apologize to you, just dey look am.
If you dare apologize, you will kuku loose the remaining small respect that she has for you cos from look of things that woman has been brainwashed by material stuff. Cheers
You are warp in reasoning, you slap an adult all because she is a wife.count your self lucky she is meek,se bi you go lie down sleep abi,walahi you go wake up for yonder.se na man you be.nonsense undecided
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ForkDragnet: 8:50pm On May 20, 2020
Poorboy:
Broke man ,broke man if her father is not broke will she be totally dependent on you.

How old is she?

Is she educated?

Does she have a job?

Is the other sisters married and doing well than you people?

Is she from a wealthy home, like she is used to comfort already?

Which state do you reside?

See you cannot satisfy greed, your wife is a greedy person. How can your wife ask you to look for money for her to travel out then you feel you have a wife.

Work on your emotions don't allow the term wife to make you try to impress, if you put yourself in unnecessary pressure to make money and die before your burial another man will already be sleeping with her. She is the money type.

Tell people the truth and let them know their worth, I once told my fiancee I am not your responsibility, if you can't survive quit.

Don't regret beating her, though I don't subscribe to that.

that bold part just triggered something inside me, the wife is an OG
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ForkDragnet: 8:51pm On May 20, 2020
[s]
wany:

You are warp in reasoning, you slap an adult all because she is a wife.count your self lucky she is meek,se bi you go lie down sleep abi,walahi you go wake up for yonder.se na man you be.nonsense undecided
[/s] na dem
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by apexc1525: 8:51pm On May 20, 2020
[color=#] 4874950[/color]
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by 12345baba(m): 8:52pm On May 20, 2020
djon78:



An associates wife was complaining to me 2 days ago that the husband rarely stays at home. Always out for his business.
That the correct soup she cooked, the guy never tasted it.
I was saying in my mind, maybe if the guy was a house husband always around not hustling. She will take him for granted. The only thing the guy knows is hustling

I think women take men that hang around them all the time for granted.
That's why you hear such stories.

A man should face his hustling more. The more you are out there hustling, the less she will take the man for granted.
But once you hang around them all the time, you get ridiculed and insult will come.
u've said it all, if I got nothing to do , I prefer going to drink my beer with my men instead sitting at home.

1 Like

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by dinachi(m): 8:53pm On May 20, 2020
meetme01:
You don F-up. Raising your hands on any woman talkless your wife has degraded you. That's the bitter truth.

Back to the main issue. Your wife needs your unreserved apology. You need remorseful which is through your attitude. Let her know you are deeply sorry.

To her, is she not working? Why have you refused to set her up in a biz? One problem I have realized in today's marriage is, finance. It's really creating a lot of issues in most marriage. As a man, if you earn from three sources, declare only two. Let her know how the money is spent to the last kobo. That was the initial problem, you need to fix that part asap
You are a senior Otondo for this trash you just wrote! Raising hands on the ungrateful wife has not degraded him in any way, shape or form. However he just needs apologize to his wife!

Nothing much!

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by tunjilana: 8:53pm On May 20, 2020
You are not playing the game rightly
You need not beat her, just ignore or even humorously caution her

The real deal is that, you see those fine gals in your office, the ones that make their own money and still single, start getting close to them and let her know of your closeness/ friendship. If you are the type that doesnt believe in such, create that fictitious friendship and always give her clues about how one of such working woman is trying to befriend u, buy yourself nice and somewhat expensive things and tell her the lady gifted u that.

Create the impression that while she is nagging u to fund a lifestyle she cant even work to afford, some women out there are willing to take you as you are and even support you with their own resource....she go sit up

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