oyinbo85:

Hello everyone!

I need some advice from u guys. Im white going out with a Nigerian. We are very happy together. He is a really cute guy and treats me like a princess. Ive met his family and made good friends with some of them, Obviously we have some problems sometimes but most of the time we are enjoying ourselves.

He always tells me Im unlike all other white girls, cause im from a good, Christian Home, i dont cheat on him, i cook for him and treat him right i guess . (i dont think other white girls are bad though but thats what he thinks, probably cause of his previous experience) He is saying he wants to marry me and have children with me. (and its not the visa issue as hes already got it before  )
But it all got spoiled when his ex girlfriend came for a visit from Nigeria and they met after a very long time. He didnt tell me about that but then i got to know somehow after couple of months. After that i became obsessed and started checking everything, i even started going through his phone and came across some messages he sent to her  saying ‘i love you’, ‘i want to be with you forever’ … but when he was involved with her he was acting normally with me and i had no idea something like that was going on.

I confronted him about that and he said that it was over and that when they met some memories came back to him. And he was thinking that maybe it would be easier for him to have a black Nigerian wife and not me. And he said that after some time he realised im the one he loves not her and even though it might be difficult he will try to make us work. He also told me he spoke about that with his male friend and told him how bad he felt because of his lying to me and cheating, and the friend answered that he shouldnt be bothered cause im a white girl and that white girls want nigerian men only for sex so since im getting what i want he shouldnt have guilty conscience…

I have forgiven him, but its still in my mind. there are days i just stay in all by myself and cry causa ive been so hurt. I lost my trust to him.  I even found some condoms in the bag he takes to his workplace even though we dont use them. I dont know how long they ve been there for though. And i dont want to ask him about that cause hes gonna tell me they ve been tere for 3 years!  And hes a ladies girl so he receives millions of calls and texts from girls. I used to laugh it off but now everytime his phone rings im dying inside cause im thinking it must be her. I dont tell him about that though cause dont want to nag him.

Anyway I love him very much and would like to really marry him. But i want to have a peaceful, nice life, dont want to be worried everyday that hes cheating on me. And sometimes i think its impossible cause of the deregatory opinion Nigerians have on Whites and cause of their culture(hes from a polygamic home, hes Christian though) so I cant blame him for the way he is even though in my family adultery is not acceptable. And its high time now for us to decide if we want to move on or go our seperate ways as weve been together 2 years now.

if hes  messing around now, what is he going to do when im fat, ugly and not feeling like having sex after giving birth to a child?


What do u think? Can he be faithful??

Mrs.Chima:

I thought you like light skinned women? 

HELL YEEEEA: light skin, half cast, mixed race and white babes like Mrs Chima!!

Mr, Cork:

HELL YEEEEA: light skin, half cast, mixed race and white babes like Mrs Chima!!

Mrs.Chima:

My husband prefer his baby black.  So do I. 

you have a husband? how many?

Mr, Cork:

has he got papers?  dont lie

Moralistli:

Quite possible 4 a naija man 2 b faithful 2 his wife, but certainly not in dis case of urs, Nag if u can coz it 'll settle scores in time,

Mrs.Chima:

What do you think? 

By the way, he didn't go through the Visa Lottery like you did.   He got a social security card, 

Mrs.Chima, sweeery i bet yo husband marryed u to become a Somali Citizen, Dont lie

Mr, Cork:

Mrs.Chima, sweeery i bet yo husband marryed u to become a Somali Citizen, Dont lie

Mrs.Chima:

If that was the case suga then he wasted his time.  American citizens and permies do not need to marry for a social security card.  But, I hear you there are dumb black/African men in this world.   Are you the President of not so smart Men, Inc.?

Mrs.Chima, so u claimin to be american citizen? yea right. I bet u from Lagos!!

oyinbo85:

dont undesrtand why nigerians act like that. i wish i had a clue to his heart and could give him everything he needs so he doesnt look for it somewhere else,

oyinbo85:

Thanks guys. Well, your response turned out to be kind of a cold shower to me.  I think I was hoping that at least his homies could defend him.  Don’t know what to do know honestly. Just after his ex girl issue came up I was tryin to dump him, but he started crying (that was the only time I saw his tears) promising he would change and all that.  Should I tell him now that nairaland advised me to leave him?  Lol Or wait until I get another unbeatable evidence? Im not perfect too and do make mistakes so I thought  I should give people second chance since I cannot find a perfect man anywhere else.
@ Mrs. Chima Im pretty much aware of visa and green card system. Just called it a ‘visa’ in case someone wasn’t aware just to make them get rid of their hesitations. Cant believe im an ottoman.   I think my BF is fond of mixed race children. What do u think he might be using me for if its not papers?
@MOBO444 Im not fat at all just said im worried that he will mess up even more if im unattractive in 20 years time
@Moralistli Well, how do u think nagging could score in the future? That’s weird taking into account that you appear to be a male. From my experience nagging had always an opposite effect than intended, and a better technique was ignoring the man and appearing unavailable.