sisisioge:


I dont know why you guys are taking his post personal. He was only buttressing to the extreme what you said in your original post...we shouldn't make demands on you because your incomes are heavily taxed and cost of living is high. Simple.

By the way, I have seen where one of my uncles here in Nigeria had to bail another uncle out in the UK by sending him money. We know its not easy, we know your rent is scandalous, we know that for those who aren't in lucrative sectors like the health sector, it could get really hard especially if you do not have a partner to share your bills with. We know all about working at least 2 jobs to make ends meet.

However, we also know that your par capital income is higher than ours, lifespan is longer, healthcare is either free or expensively better, junk food could be cheaper, your govt bail you when unemployed,..etc.

I honestly would never understand why friends and families make demands on people both home and abroad. Better to know where your responsibilities to the extended family or partners(spouses/spouses to be) lies and put them in your budget. Eg, monthly allowance to your parents, they shouldn't have to ask before you send it. As per friends asking because you're abroad them no well. EOD.

When I am in government, I am going to look for you to lead my critical projects. The guy meant no harm but adding flesh to what the OP has said. Or are they not wanting Nigerians to speak on their perspectives from Nigeria? I study in US. There are rich Nigerians here for those working with graduate degree in health and quantitative sciences, including accounting and statistics. But there are also tons of Nigerians living from hands to mouth.

Overall, it is easier to survive here even if you do menial jobs. Some people complain to much because they were asked money. If you don’t have, say you don’t have. But it will be absurd to think you won’t support your parents or siblings in Nigeria. Sometimes, some people who refused helping others benefitted the most from families and friends on their way up. For me, I prefer to send opportunities their ways. How they will take the necessary test or application for schools so they too can be here. I try to support by contributing to the test fees. Truly, I have helped a few people, family and friends, this way.

eazzzy1:


This is not always the case for immigrants, especially the ones of coming from Africa. There is a minimum wage system in most developed country, meaning no matter what you do, you can not earn below certain amount of money. These wages are put in place with consideration to cost of living, i.e housing, transport, feeding, taxation etc. Most minimum wages are livable wages, you can survive and live comfortably if you live according to your means.

Most Diasporans who come back home only do so because they do not see themselves doing these minimum wage paying jobs. e.g your cousin with a master degree wouldn't want to work as a security or sales associate at a store. Depending on ones course of study, grades, age, past work experience, not every diasporan will get the career of their choice. As long as you are able and willing to work and spend according to your means, you won't suffer.

My brother it’s like people just, pick up anything and start talking about it, this issue of going hungry when you are working could most likely be the UK or some other countries, but as for the US and Canada? Don’t go there. Once you are working you will not suffer. Simple!

I really glad this thread came up.

my take on both sides is that. our intention and the way we view our fellows is very bad. Nigeria in diaspora see Nigerians in Nigeria as beggars even if they were once in such position. and the other way see them as people working for bills.

I have no grudges. this thread shows why we can't grow

uchvic:
My cousin has been in Germany for over 12years now.. The only person he listen to is his mom, he barely meet the financial appeal of his siblings except selected few but on social media he is balling. Stinginess wan finish him destiny. Make him come back if AWAY no favor am. I no de luk him face. God de always send man helper.. My friend wey de JAND, don bless me over £400GBP in the space of 5months. Buh my useless cousin, shishi I no see

Your cousin is very much useful to himself and probably to those he thinks deserve something from him. You, on the other hand, are the useless one who sits his lazy assss here in Naija waiting for cousin, friend, brother etc to send you their hard earned pounds or dollars.

Go out there and make money yourself if you think it's that easy. No one fvcking owes your entitled asss anything.

rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

Please loud it ooooo...

Abroad abroad abroad, oya make una go oooo...

Guys trust me, there's NO PLACE LIKE HOME.

We may not have it all here but we have all the freedom and abundance we seek. Nigeria is the most blessed land in the universe. If the energy most people that travel abroad try and put it in here, not only would there be wealthy people here, Nigeria would also look better than it is now.

Pray for NIGERIA, put in your little effort and someday NIGERIA would be a reality of our dreams.

And to our leaders, it's either you SERVE the people or you step aside.

WE SAY NO TO BAD GOVERNANCE!

Klass99:


I can relate to this post. I had a school mate schooling and working in Russia. She often had to fall back on money contributed by her siblings in Naija to survive. She didn't stay back after school, she came home.

My own cousin returned from Australia, after his Masters. He said the system over there won't allow you live a very comfortable life. Everything is billed and taxed to a point where, you can hardly afford nice but expensive things for yourself.

He said most of the people he befriended had never been on a plane or travelled outside their states of residence, because by the time they are done paying bills, there's very little left for travel. Travelling for them, would mean a financial plan of 6 or 8 months ahead for that trip.

Good morning..
I have a link and planning to move to Australia..
I'd like to discuss with your cousin..

The poster is even taking it too far abroad loun loun

Even here in naija once it is presumed you live a 'good life' - have a good job (God help you its one of those popular organization that 'pays well' ) drive a decent car, just normal things you seem to have the request starts pouring in and every body feels you are rich.

-family members

-Church members ( they will tell you to donate a huge amount)

-Even the vegetable seller on your street if you price too much she ll say madam na wa ooo you carry jeep come dey price my vegetable like that

-Everybody starts begging you for one thing or the other.

If you finally want to nail yourself go and flaunt on Facebook whether you are in abroad or naija the requests will be extended to friends acquaintances distant family.


We have this entitlement mentality.

My cousin , he should be older than me with nothing less than 20years asked my retired mum for 50k to add to house rent about 2years back, mumsie came up with 25k the dude came to her house collected the money and didn't open mouth to say thank you, mumsie didn't believe it. She told me I just laughed, she couldn't bear it she had to tell his younger sister that one said Iro ooo it's not possible, she called him and said egbon is it true somebody dashed you 25k you just collected it and left he was blabbing.

He now called mumsie and was trying to apologise, last year he got married, its family that still contributed, mumsie sponsored the food part of the wedding.

This same cousin refused to tell another cousin of mine he was getting married simply because he asked that one for money and the other cousin said he's not really boxed up presently because his daughter got admission to college of medicine and he has paid huge amount as fees, my guy lock up stopped calling the other cousin despite all he has helped him with in the past.


After this my cousin got married I sha told mumsie to be ready too, she will pay hospital bills and train pikin. Wifely gave birth this year during lockdown, they say called to rejoice I was watching, the next day it was ermm no money to discharge , its was a normal delivery ooo no complications mumsie was like what you no get money you go private hospital . You didnt know the amount they charge before ni .He now said his wife said general hospital wahala is too much she can't go through that stress. Issorait.

Mumsie vex me sef I vex join even me I didn't use private as I know quality private hospitals are pricey its General hopsitaly I jejely went for antenatal as they will have specialists too and price will not be too much.

After about one week he now called and said he was expecting that mumsie would have sent him some money, that's how mumsie para wella and started listing the amount of money she spent on medicines for that month that she too has expenses that who will she tell.

I was just looking at the both of them. The annoying part is that he's working.

If people can still try to collect money from a retired old woman who is now free.

The entitlement sha.

Interesting and thought provoking thread. To add, one point I discovered that only one poster stated is the number of children/dependants people have whether home or abroad. Hopefully, our generation learn that procreating to lots of children without the projected income to cater for them will lead to disaster.

eazzzy1:


Lol. Nobody makes $100,000 and ends up with $40,000 after deductions. Anyway this is not a homebased vs diasporan thread. How do you cope with the people abroad making financial request?

If you make $100,000 a year living in the region of California, USA, you will be taxed $28,923. That means that your net pay will be $71,077 per year, or $5,923 per month. Your average tax rate is 28.92% and your marginal tax rate is 40.95%.

rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

I was enjoying your write up until your last statement.. Return to which home? Nigeria?

Thingsvirtous19:
I can totally relate to point 5. Folks..take care of yourself oh. To buy 5k-10k slipper go dey hard me. But I can give out 20k without blinking. Is that life?

It was one of my sweet anty that I give money that yabbed me. She said to me.. Xyz you can give people money but you are stingy to yourself. She also told me to spent not recklessly but well enough to enjoy my money because people will always demand for it from me.

I am grateful for that pep talk. After I have saved and spent to satisfy myself..I can freely give the remaining without lying or feeling guilty.

I also havE special request from folks that no matter what.. I can suspend my "enjoyment" to satisfy them.

Also if relatives wants to borrow a huge sum of money and I have it to spare but I am afraid that it gonna cause rift when I try to recoup my money. I bring in a third party. Mostly fAKE documents stating that the third party lend the money and I am just a witness. God will help us all.

Thought it was just me with that no 5.
Lol I don change gan..
To give now sef dey hard me
I use it on myself anytime
And still learning..

AllenSpencer:


Lies!

You have no idea about the system.

Beer parlour gist

My point exactly. I am sure the guy is no where near here. Lol

Shikena:


In fact, Nigerians abroad should stop sending money home & learn how the economy of their resident countries work. Some Nigerians are making a killing everyday in America but most still need to learn to use the financial system without the Nigerian mindset. We need to learn from the Scots, Indians, Pakistanis, Chinese etc. Stop wasting good investment money on useless ventures in Nigeria. You can do that when you have a flourishing business abroad. Just my opinion.

Example of this useless ventures

ModestGal:

Stingy man, I don't blame you, I blame where you were raised. This is why sometimes, I'm happy with friends God has attached me with and family. Even though I don't ask anyone of them any money, I know they would be happy to give me anytime.

So you call him a stingy man?
That makes you a beggar right!

cooltola:


You do not have to drive the best car in America , they sell used car that one can afford. They look nice, drive well


Financial discipline is key, even a wealthy man in Nigeria can lose money. It happened to my late relative who was wealthy back in the day who had a house and drove a Mercedes Benz, he died a broke man. Failure to invest your money can cause one to lose money.

Cutting unnecessary expenses help, stop eating outside too often in America. You know how much eating out cost. If you are not into gym, then avoid paying for gym. Exercise can be cheap

Avoid baby mama in America, because child support is expensive.

Do ajo in America, it works and it helps you save.

You can build house in Nigeria even when you work here in America

And most importantly, buying a house you can afford as long the area is safe,it is not by force to live in the expensive area or the happening places.

What is ajo

Sarang:


What is ajo

susu,esusu

MrBigiman:
Very true. I decided to do my worst and not to send anyone for the past 7months, and I was surprised how much I saved.

More surprising was the fact that no one died or was homeless from me not sending any money to them

Abi o

Mayflowa:


When I am in government, I am going to look for you to lead my critical projects. The guy meant no harm but adding flesh to what the OP has said. Or are they not wanting Nigerians to speak on their perspectives from Nigeria? I study in US. There are rich Nigerians here for those working with graduate degree in health and quantitative sciences, including accounting and statistics. But there are also tons of Nigerians living from hands to mouth.

Overall, it is easier to survive here even if you do mania jobs. Some people complain to much because they were asked money. If you don’t have, say you don’t have. But it will be absurd to think you won’t support your parents or siblings in Nigeria. Sometimes, some people who refused helping others benefitted the most from families and friends on their way up. For me, I prefer to send opportunities their ways. How they will take the necessary test or application for schools so they too can be here. I try to support by contributing to the test fees. Truly, I have helped a few people, family and friends, this way.

Hmm,

Which one be mania job

omonnakoda:
susu,esusu

Oh okay

bizme:
God bless you for this balanced post.
It think it is a little misleading that things are better abroad. One, there are different kinds of abroad. Two, individual experiences in the abroad are different. We have those who are schooling abroad sponsored by family and having to do menial jobs to make ends meet. Then we have those who are working but literally scrubbing the streets and doing jobs that those in Nigeria would never want to do. We have those who have gone through different faces of hussling and have been established... We also have those (many actually) who are illegally in foreign countries and so cannot get decent minimum wage-paying jobs and who are living worse than when they were in Nigeria. The problem is, once people in Nigeria hear that you are abroad, they assume you have money literally rolling into your bags without any effort. So they start making demands. I have been there years ago when I was schooling/working abroad and I experienced all manner of ridiculous requests from acquaintances in Nigeria. But fortunately I had investment plans that were gulping almost the last cent I was making then, so it was impossible for me to dance to the fancies of those people. Some would ask me to send them laptops, HTC Wildfire (had just been released then), even to ridiculous things like arranging their relocation abroad... My church's pastor then asked me for N1million naira donation even though I was just a student supporting my monthly stipend with menial jobs like cleaning offices and all. Interestingly, that my pastor then happened to be a multi-millionaire in Nigeria, even at that time.

What were some of the investment plans that saved you money

SweetCunt97:
He's an extravagant fellow biko. Patapata 500 dollars will go for monthly bills, 300 to send down to peeps here... Unless he has an ongoing project o.

Lmao 500 for rent abi for food.
Just curious.
Kpata kpata ko!

johhnnie:



I almost cried reading this. I made a fatal mistake of giving my contacts out in the first two years.

Please believe this, after about 3 years, I had a cause to send my bank statement to my account officer and she said I could get my statement my the bank app on my phone. I never realized this was possible.

So, out of curiosity, I decided to download my statement for the three years prior. What I found out brought tears to my eyes. I was weak. In three years at that time I discovered I had transferred at 27m ( twenty seven millions) in naira to my account in Naija over that period. And at least 96% of that money given out to friends and families.

No new investment whatsoever.

I also remembered that during thesame period, at the earlier stage, I needed money. So, a cousin helped me to sell my uncompleted (80% completed) student mini- hostel on a 4 plots of land unluckily at that time when $ was 500. Only a fraction of that money got to me here. A lot of hands dipped into the money that he became useless by the time it for here.

I work alot here. Sometimes, 3 straight days observing just an hour long rest from driving ( by the highway or anywhere the need need Forrest met me on the road). There was a time I slept in the car for a month. Before then, I dish washed for two days, did security for another month; having to stand up for 8 hours straight on etc.

Sometimes, going on for days without eating or bathing. All I would do was to enter a McDonald etc early morning to use my inner shirt to wipe my body. Smelling like rat. So haggardly looking and insane. Brushing by the side of the road.

It was really bad. Phone calls from my Naija kept coming with all sorts of demands; friends, families both know and unknown. Worst part, nobody contributed a dime for my travel. I had to sell my plot of land behind my personal house in ibadan to add up money.

It became crazy when I see people I send money to celebrating birthdays online with friends and family. Some take to club floors for celebrations. I also discovered that people I was sending money to in support of their businesses were building their houses without my knowledge. Here I am living in one room apartment. Sharing toilet, bathroom and tiny kitchen compared to what I had in my private residence in Naija.

I didn't know that all those 5k 100k 3k, 200k etc and even airtime top-ups from my boss revolution to Naija phone numbers were grossly adding up.

It's a lesson I learnt the hard way. You would think that the request would soon stop. It never will. There would always be requests. Some genuine and some made-up.

This is super emotional.
I am glad you learnt as do most of us.
While I was in school I was like this too.
Thankfully my tuition took most of it
I’m sure if I wasn’t a student I wouldn’t be able to save a penny then still
I didn’t know what changed but at a point something changed
See me working my ass off while someone goes off to trips and parties I had never been to because I dey abroad.. no way! At least not with my hard-earned money
I am as stingy as f**k right now and I am prouding it
I earn it. I keep it. I don’t owe anyone sh*t!

ModestGal:

[s]Toor, sorry ma, I never thought I was quoting a lady, I didn't even check the monicker before quoting it first, I thought men are the only NO CONSCIENCE crazy ones, was never expecting those kinds of words from a female ''God forbids you send a dime to your family members'', you are a waste of a child if you actually think ''God forbids you send a dime to your own parents & siblings''. I'm here crying for your parents, and think your parents and siblings are thinking of you as ATM machines.

Let me ask you a question, when you were growing up, were your parents ATM machines? Whoever the devil that gave you that mentality didn't do you well at all.
You should know that if you give, your wealth would increase and you will even be happier.

People like you always end up depressed, in fact, I'm seeing you ending with one already. If u can think that bad to your own family, I wonder if a friend or someone you don't even know should ask you money, they would receive the greatest insult of their life.
Change for your own good, don't change to your own detriment. By the time everyone around you start seeing you as crazy, stingy and wicked, you will start saying you don't have good family members abi?
Whether you help your people or not, they would make it in life. People who go blow go blow. [/s]

Garbage!

Yes I'm a lady and I work for my money. Learn to work for yours too okay darling?

Thanks!

It is nobody's fvcking job to bear your burden. No one owes you anything. Fvck all the entitlement mentality. It's none of your business how any man or woman spends her money. It doesn't only affect people abroad, it affects people at home as well. How you recognize those entitled id.iots is when they start saying things like:

the country is hard
people are suffering
set aside something every month
send to peeps at home
give what you can
but i'm a single mother

Anyone with that mentality is a freaking armed robber in the making. If you have financial need, fvcking go and work. And don't tell me there aint no job, cos there's work everywhere in Nigeria, just not the type you are interested in. Nigeria has one of the most fertile land anywhere in the world. Fvcking enter the bush and farm. Africa had to import food worth more than $35 billion worth of food in a year partly because some entitled Nigerians fvcking refused to hustle in the farm. They prefer sitting around impregnating and getting impregnated and then blaming folks abroad for being stingy. I never buy that shit anymore. And don't tell me it's not always as simple as that because it is fvcking always as simple as that.

If you are abroad and you buy into the idea of sending money home to sustain this disgustingly entitled human beings at home, then you're probably just as du.mb as they take you to be. Away with the culture of entitlement.

Sarang:


Lmao 500 for rent abi for food.
Just curious.
Kpata kpata ko!

I know better now o

pmoye:
It is nobody's fvcking job to bear your burden. No one owes you anything. Fvck all the entitlement mentality. It's none of your business how any man or woman spends her money. It doesn't only affect people abroad, it affects people at home as well. How you recognize those entitled id.iots is when they start saying things like:

the country is hard
people are suffering
set aside something every month
send to peeps at home
give what you can
but i'm a single mother

Anyone with that mentality is a freaking armed robber in the making. If you have financial need, fvcking go and work. And don't tell me there aint no job, cos there's work everywhere in Nigeria, just not the type you are interested in. Nigeria has one of the most fertile land anywhere in the world. Fvcking enter the bush and farm. Africa had to import food worth more than $35 billion worth of food in a year partly because some entitled Nigerians fvcking refused to hustle in the farm. They prefer sitting around impregnating and getting impregnated and then blaming folks abroad for being stingy. I never buy that shit anymore. And don't tell me it's not always as simple as that because it is fvcking always as simple as that.

If you are abroad and you buy into the idea of sending money home to sustain this disgustingly entitled human beings at home, then you're probably just as du.mb as they take you to be. Away with the culture of entitlement.

Well, if the family contributed to his traveling out, he gotta shake body. Stay there dey form vex. Such individualistic thinking won't get you anywhere cos when those people get struck by misfortune it is family they'll still look up to for succor.

Why are you particularly vexed by my post that you had to go all the way to quote me?

But for the sake of argument, the family that contributed to his/her traveling out is officially entitled to his/her wealth and he/she is duty-bound to come to their aid. And that "family" is not undefined; it doesn't mean that every tom-dick-and-harry from the extended section of that family who had not hand in his/her traveling out now by virtue of existing on the tenuous fringes of that ill-defined group of people have right to make claims.
As a man your parents and immediate family members are your responsibility whether you're home or abroad. That shouldn't be too difficult for you to understand. And if there's any friend or acquaintances who have been of help to you, then they deserving reciprocating that help. Unfortunately that doesn't extend to individuals that see you as an ATM. Individuals that are only interested in you to the extent that you send them cash. That should not be too difficult for you to understand. And if it is, sorry, I cannot help you.

SweetCunt97:
Well, if the family contributed to his traveling out, he gotta shake body. Stay there dey form vex. Such individualistic thinking won't get you anywhere cos when those people get struck by misfortune it is family they'll still look up to for succor.

SweetCunt97:
I know better now o

Lol okay

But some people just stingy normally

ModestGal:

Toor, sorry ma, I never thought I was quoting a lady, I didn't even check the monicker before quoting it first, I thought men are the only NO CONSCIENCE crazy ones, was never expecting those kinds of words from a female ''God forbids you send a dime to your family members'', you are a waste of a child if you actually think ''God forbids you send a dime to your own parents & siblings''. I'm here crying for your parents, and think your parents and siblings are thinking of you as ATM machines.

Let me ask you a question, when you were growing up, were your parents ATM machines? Whoever the devil that gave you that mentality didn't do you well at all.
You should know that if you give, your wealth would increase and you will even be happier.

People like you always end up depressed, in fact, I'm seeing you ending with one already. If u can think that bad to your own family, I wonder if a friend or someone you don't even know should ask you money, they would receive the greatest insult of their life.
Change for your own good, don't change to your own detriment. By the time everyone around you start seeing you as crazy, stingy and wicked, you will start saying you don't have good family members abi?
Whether you help your people or not, they would make it in life. People who go blow go blow.

Ana akogheri
What nonsense are you blabbing on top another person sweat

KevinDein:

Your cousin is very much useful to himself and probably to those he thinks deserve something from him. You, on the other hand, are the useless one who sits his lazy assss here in Naija waiting for cousin, friend, brother etc to send you their hard earned pounds or dollars.

Go out there and make money yourself if you think it's that easy. No one fvcking owes your entitled asss anything.

I for vex if no one replied that guy aswear

canDy4eva:




Please loud it ooooo...

Abroad abroad abroad, oya make una go oooo...

Guys trust me, there's NO PLACE LIKE HOME.

We may not have it all here but we have all the freedom and abundance we seek. Nigeria is the most blessed land in the universe. If the energy most people that travel abroad try and put it in here, not only would there be wealthy people here, Nigeria would also look better than it is now.

Pray for NIGERIA, put in your little effort and someday NIGERIA would be a reality of our dreams.

And to our leaders, it's either you SERVE the people or you step aside.

WE SAY NO TO BAD GOVERNANCE!

“Nigeria is the MOST blessed land in the universe”
Says the person who have never been overseas