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Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. - Family (20) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by armyofone(m): 8:04pm On Jun 01, 2020
It is stressful to help and stressful not to help.
It is like being between the devil and the deep blue sea.
You are preparing to take care of one request and another one is coming - week after week, month after month, year after year.

I hope Nigeria gets better.

7 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Miraj22(f): 9:04pm On Jun 01, 2020
johhnnie:



I almost cried reading this. I made a fatal mistake of giving my contacts out in the first two years.

Please believe this, after about 3 years, I had a cause to send my bank statement to my account officer and she said I could get my statement my the bank app on my phone. I never realized this was possible.

So, out of curiosity, I decided to download my statement for the three years prior. What I found out brought tears to my eyes. I was weak. In three years at that time I discovered I had transferred at 27m ( twenty seven millions) in naira to my account in Naija over that period. And at least 96% of that money given out to friends and families.

No new investment whatsoever.

I also remembered that during thesame period, at the earlier stage, I needed money. So, a cousin helped me to sell my uncompleted (80% completed) student mini- hostel on a 4 plots of land unluckily at that time when $ was 500. Only a fraction of that money got to me here. A lot of hands dipped into the money that he became useless by the time it for here.

I work alot here. Sometimes, 3 straight days observing just an hour long rest from driving ( by the highway or anywhere the need need Forrest met me on the road). There was a time I slept in the car for a month. Before then, I dish washed for two days, did security for another month; having to stand up for 8 hours straight on etc.

Sometimes, going on for days without eating or bathing. All I would do was to enter a McDonald etc early morning to use my inner shirt to wipe my body. Smelling like rat. So haggardly looking and insane. Brushing by the side of the road.

It was really bad. Phone calls from my Naija kept coming with all sorts of demands; friends, families both know and unknown. Worst part, nobody contributed a dime for my travel. I had to sell my plot of land behind my personal house in ibadan to add up money.

It became crazy when I see people I send money to celebrating birthdays online with friends and family. Some take to club floors for celebrations. I also discovered that people I was sending money to in support of their businesses were building their houses without my knowledge. Here I am living in one room apartment. Sharing toilet, bathroom and tiny kitchen compared to what I had in my private residence in Naija.

I didn't know that all those 5k 100k 3k, 200k etc and even airtime top-ups from my boss revolution to Naija phone numbers were grossly adding up.

It's a lesson I learnt the hard way. You would think that the request would soon stop. It never will. There would always be requests. Some genuine and some made-up.
Really heartbreaking

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by kaymart: 9:11pm On Jun 01, 2020
Yoighaman:


Wow.

Your thought processes are valid though but I can see our mentalities are miles apart.

You obviously don't desire and aspire to become a billionaire or see a need to, you love a comfort zone.

It's ok, I hear you, you don't need savings, it's fine to live on debts. After owning a car and house, and can travel on credit, all your issues in life have been taken care of.

Good thinking.
You read kiyosaki book no doubt.
I have been following ur comment. Impressive no doubt.
Are you in Nigeria?
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Yoighaman(m): 9:23pm On Jun 01, 2020
kaymart:

You read kiyosaki book no doubt.
I have been following ur comment. Impressive no doubt.
Are you in Nigeria?

Thanks bro for the feedback.

I have read and read a lot of books, not just Kiyosaki's; read his way back, many many years ago, lots of interesting reads afterwards.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Nobody: 10:43pm On Jun 01, 2020
mostly properties and shares.

Sarang:


What were some of the investment plans that saved you money

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by TheCongo2: 12:01am On Jun 02, 2020
Ebere044:
No wonder my friend who promised to help me in this lockdown recently stopped replying my text.

OP you may be right but a stingy being will always look for an excuse not to assist his friends or even family. It doesn't matter where you are. If you're stingy, it means you're stingy.

If you don't want to help ,you tell them so .its not by force. Instead of promising and giving them Hopes. I've a friend who I gave almost everything I had when he was here in Nigeria hustling. His other friends and family abandoned him. I took him in until to God be the glory for him. He made it out of Nigeria and boom turned back at me. My brother a stingy being is a stingy person. I know alot of people would ask unnecessarily but its left for you to know who could ask when in dire need.

To me, the bolded part summarizes this thread.
The day we will stop helping one another is the day humanity will cease to exist.

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by AlhajaChinyere: 12:06am On Jun 02, 2020
AlhajaChinyere:


Yeye dey smell!

Useless people that have nothing to offer!

The guy told you the absolute truth!

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 12:08am On Jun 02, 2020
AlhajaChinyere:


Yeye dey smell!

Useless people that have nothing to offer!

The guy told you the absolute truth
See look you don't quote me talking thrash like a coward OK. Direct your comment to me or do fvcking quote me. See painment, mtcheeew
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by bilulu(m): 12:31am On Jun 02, 2020
smeag0l:
Every other person that doesn't do a white collar job in nigerian cities is either an artisan or does business. Almost all CAC registered businesses in nigeria pay tax provided they have a functional office. Besides, what you pay as tax on groceries over there is value-added, same think that is already included in the prices of groceries we buy here too. While it is true that businessmen dont pay tax here compared to other countries, it is also true that a lot of people over there especially businessmen also look for loopholes in the tax system in order to reduce their taxes. Also, I dont think there's any difference in the tax you pay theee on grkceries and the ones paid here. Most nigerians pay tax on items they buy here without even knowing.
I talked about VAT in Nigeria, same as what we pay on groceries. Show me any artisan that pays tax in Nigeria, even those that you said register their businesses especially the small businesses most times receive cash into other accounts so as not to pay anything. I also gave you an instance were I went to change my tire just like taking your car to a vulcanized, at the end I was charged tax apart from the workmanship. Nigerians are actually having everything free of charge that's why when they travel out they keep shouting too much bills as as if say na teeth the countries them take develop. Anybody who don't want to pay bills or tax should stay back home and let other pay the bills and enjoy what they came to enjoy. I wish you guys well in that jungle.

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Sarang(f): 12:31am On Jun 02, 2020
bizme:
mostly properties and shares.


Nice one
Thanks
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by vhuqnl(m): 5:42am On Jun 02, 2020
uchvic:
My cousin has been in Germany for over 12years now.. The only person he listen to is his mom, he barely meet the financial appeal of his siblings except selected few but on social media he is balling. Stinginess wan finish him destiny. Make him come back if AWAY no favor am. I no de luk him face. God de always send man helper.. My friend wey de JAND, don bless me over £400GBP in the space of 5months. Buh my useless cousin, shishi I no see
he owes you nothing. you too. go jand and be making money to be dashing people up and down!!!!!!

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by OdenKelechi(m): 8:29am On Jun 02, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.
On point.. i have zero interest in making it outside Nigeria. The taxes of these European countries can cripple someone

3 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by kaykad: 5:06am On Jun 05, 2020
Do you know how much he pays for mortgage? do you know how much he set aside for HSA and 401k?
eazzzy1:


Lol. Nobody makes $100,000 and ends up with $40,000 after deductions. Anyway this is not a homebased vs diasporan thread. How do you cope with the people abroad making financial request?
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by kaykad: 5:15am On Jun 05, 2020
omo them really get you no be small. change you phone contact, if you don't give them dey won't die, deactivate your social media account and go incommunicado. only sort out your parents and use the next 3 year to work on your self.
johhnnie:



I almost cried reading this. I made a fatal mistake of giving my contacts out in the first two years.

Please believe this, after about 3 years, I had a cause to send my bank statement to my account officer and she said I could get my statement my the bank app on my phone. I never realized this was possible.

So, out of curiosity, I decided to download my statement for the three years prior. What I found out brought tears to my eyes. I was weak. In three years at that time I discovered I had transferred at 27m ( twenty seven millions) in naira to my account in Naija over that period. And at least 96% of that money given out to friends and families.

No new investment whatsoever.

I also remembered that during thesame period, at the earlier stage, I needed money. So, a cousin helped me to sell my uncompleted (80% completed) student mini- hostel on a 4 plots of land unluckily at that time when $ was 500. Only a fraction of that money got to me here. A lot of hands dipped into the money that he became useless by the time it for here.

I work alot here. Sometimes, 3 straight days observing just an hour long rest from driving ( by the highway or anywhere the need need Forrest met me on the road). There was a time I slept in the car for a month. Before then, I dish washed for two days, did security for another month; having to stand up for 8 hours straight on etc.

Sometimes, going on for days without eating or bathing. All I would do was to enter a McDonald etc early morning to use my inner shirt to wipe my body. Smelling like rat. So haggardly looking and insane. Brushing by the side of the road.

It was really bad. Phone calls from my Naija kept coming with all sorts of demands; friends, families both know and unknown. Worst part, nobody contributed a dime for my travel. I had to sell my plot of land behind my personal house in ibadan to add up money.

It became crazy when I see people I send money to celebrating birthdays online with friends and family. Some take to club floors for celebrations. I also discovered that people I was sending money to in support of their businesses were building their houses without my knowledge. Here I am living in one room apartment. Sharing toilet, bathroom and tiny kitchen compared to what I had in my private residence in Naija.

I didn't know that all those 5k 100k 3k, 200k etc and even airtime top-ups from my boss revolution to Naija phone numbers were grossly adding up.

It's a lesson I learnt the hard way. You would think that the request would soon stop. It never will. There would always be requests. Some genuine and some made-up.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SavageResponse(m): 4:25pm On Jun 10, 2020
The fact that a relative of yours lives abroad does not mean that he owes you something!

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Kiddllc: 9:36am On Jun 23, 2020
E
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Eniolakiite(f): 1:49am On Jul 12, 2020
Exactly....Send us ohh grin

sweetmelanin:



I wish this was the case for most people in Nigeria but the reality is that majority are suffering!

That it is well with you doesn't mean you disregard the plight of millions of jobless, lowly paid Nigerians who sadly also have a entitlement mentality towards those abroad, making financial demands on top of someone else's sweat!


EDIT:
I love seeing all these comments assuming those abroad are "struggling".. if believing this is what it'll take to get leeches off our backs then so be it! Stop begging money from your relatives abroad please.. they are all "broke and suffering" cheesy

You Nigerians in Nigeria are far better than us so please send us money wink

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by uchvic(m): 11:55pm On Aug 08, 2020
Shut up ur dirty mouth.

vhuqnl:

he owes you nothing. you too. go jand and be making money to be dashing people up and down!!!!!!
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by uchvic(m): 11:58pm On Aug 08, 2020
May you be unfortunate for this your comment!!! Who tell u say I need your validation? Ayelala kill u there.


KevinDein:

Your cousin is very much useful to himself and probably to those he thinks deserve something from him. You, on the other hand, are the useless one who sits his lazy assss here in Naija waiting for cousin, friend, brother etc to send you their hard earned pounds or dollars.

Go out there and make money yourself if you think it's that easy. No one fvcking owes your entitled asss anything.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by vhuqnl(m): 11:23am On Aug 15, 2020
uchvic:
Shut up ur dirty mouth.

A weakling, no one owes you anything in life. Work for your money and have dignity

3 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by uchvic(m): 1:39am On Aug 17, 2020
Entrepreneur come give me job na.. Goat wey fire wan burn

vhuqnl:

A weakling, no one owes you anything in life. Work for your money and have dignity
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by DexterousOne(m): 2:23am On Aug 17, 2020
uchvic:
Entrepreneur come give me job na.. Goat wey fire wan burn


The guy you quoted is right

That relative of yours dont owe you anything

However, if he wants to give you based on benevolence
He should
But he is not obliged to
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by DexterousOne(m): 2:24am On Aug 17, 2020
armyofone:
It is stressful to help and stressful not to help.
It is like being between the devil and the deep blue sea.
You are preparing to take care of one request and another one is coming - week after week, month after month, year after year.

I hope Nigeria gets better.

Nigeria wont get better
Especially under this useless govt
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by DexterousOne(m): 2:27am On Aug 17, 2020
Amanee:




Nobody asked you all these, always resist the urge to shalaye

Very hilarious cheesy

Resisting the urge to shalaye

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