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When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by desthan(m): 11:57pm On Jun 17, 2020
Right from day 1, carry your child follow body. If the person cannot accept the two, the fuggedabout

1 Like

Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by BlueAir: 11:58pm On Jun 17, 2020
undecided nice try but u go no ur tactics dey watery when u jam a man with other preferences.u never see a man fling a proposal ring away or dash am away on spot
BeautifulWoman:
DON'T TELL HIM until he proposes. No man is worth knowing about your personal life unless they are willing to spend their lives with you.

The best time to tell him is the day he pops the question(proposes). The moment he does, don't say yes yet but tearfully tell him you don't deserve him or a good man like him. He will be curious and ask why. That is when you tell him. At that point, he will be sober and trying his best to show you he loves you regardless.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Lindaikeji007: 11:59pm On Jun 17, 2020
BeautifulWoman:
DON'T TELL HIM until he proposes. No man is worth knowing about your personal life unless they are willing to spend their lives with you.

The best time to tell him is the day he pops the question(proposes). The moment he does, don't say yes yet but tearfully tell him you don't deserve him or a good man like him. He will be curious and ask why. That is when you tell him. At that point, he will be sober and trying his best to show you he loves you regardless.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by jaymdee(m): 12:00am On Jun 18, 2020
Before he or she becomes "him"or "her". AKA before you go into the relationship.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Budline1(m): 12:01am On Jun 18, 2020
It's easy for the man if he was the one having a child, especially when he's financially stable, many ladies will even rush him.
It's the woman with a child that I'm worried about. embarassed
I can't stand a woman that I'm aware she's done abortion too. Na to japa o.

2 Likes

Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Dybala11(m): 12:05am On Jun 18, 2020
BeautifulWoman:
DON'T TELL HIM until he proposes. No man is worth knowing about your personal life unless they are willing to spend their lives with you.

The best time to tell him is the day he pops the question(proposes). The moment he does, don't say yes yet but tearfully tell him you don't deserve him or a good man like him. He will be curious and ask why. That is when you tell him. At that point, he will be sober and trying his best to show you he loves you regardless.
You're a highly deceitful individual, what if your lover kept that away from you until the day he decided to propose??
It takes more than love to get married, commitment and trust is one of the things needed. How will you trust a partner that is so secretive and is able to keep that away from his/her lover??
Your argument is invalid ma'am.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by ArticleBeast: 12:15am On Jun 18, 2020
BeautifulWoman:
DON'T TELL HIM until he proposes. No man is worth knowing about your personal life unless they are willing to spend their lives with you.

The best time to tell him is the day he pops the question(proposes). The moment he does, don't say yes yet but tearfully tell him you don't deserve him or a good man like him. He will be curious and ask why. That is when you tell him. At that point, he will be sober and trying his best to show you he loves you regardless.
I will walk away. Tell him from the start. If he loves you, he loves you. People shouldn't try their best to love you. Either they love you or not

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Menikki31: 12:17am On Jun 18, 2020
Bunch of stupid answers
First of all I pray nothing happens to my marriage that I have to be in that useless situations
My take is that if you don't have low self esteem you should be confident to tell someone dating about a gift God gave if he or she doesn't like shift and get out fast
It is only guys or ladies who have no standing of their own that go hiding information because of fear of losing the relationship ....nonesense

4 Likes

Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Menikki31: 12:19am On Jun 18, 2020
In addition not all relationships must end in marriage or even producing a kid don't be a relationship freAK don't go and hide your kid in the village in the name of searching for husband

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Nobody: 12:26am On Jun 18, 2020
Don't tell him until you know where you guys are headed.
If no plans for marriage, then I see no need telling him. undecided

We all know how single moms are stigmatized in dark societies like Nigeria so I won't blame any lady who chooses to uphold her privacy.

1 Like

Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by dayorich: 12:27am On Jun 18, 2020
You haven't completed your story madam.
You only told us how your friend was fast-mouthed to proudly mention her single-parental status.
You however didn't tell how the guy was fast-legged to cautiously japa like Usain Bolt?
Or, has he now married her?

Hathor5:


As soon as you meet. I have seen a friend do it once when we were younger. She already had a child. We went out, two guys approached us in a bar and we started talking. She mentioned her son in the first 5 or 10 minutes of the conversation. Proudly. cool I was thinking to myself that this is how it is supposed to be. What is the point of hiding your child or withholding the information? To what end? For how long?

1 Like

Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by bluefilm: 12:27am On Jun 18, 2020
Nephilim:
You have a child, I'm off like a speed of light lolz

Me too.

Na to tear race one time sure pass.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Nobody: 12:35am On Jun 18, 2020
etrange:


After you'd be blaming women for abortion.


shocked
Why are you blackmailing him nah?
He has a right to his preferences in a woman. I like that he knows what he wants. Some predators would still be with that single woman with a child for their selfish reasons and drop her later. That’s what’s bad.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by InformationTV: 12:38am On Jun 18, 2020
Dainy1:
What is the actual time? Immediately you met? Weeks, months after you met? Before you establish a relationship with him/her? When is the appropriate time that he/she will not get hurt nor walk away especially if they both met and love immediately?



The Right Time is Always Now!

Procrastination is a Thief of Time.

Since you already started off the relationship as lovers - " The Right Approach has to be Utilized at The Right Time - which is NOW!"
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by teemy(m): 12:42am On Jun 18, 2020
BeautifulWoman:
DON'T TELL HIM until he proposes. No man is worth knowing about your personal life unless they are willing to spend their lives with you.

The best time to tell him is the day he pops the question(proposes). The moment he does, don't say yes yet but tearfully tell him you don't deserve him or a good man like him. He will be curious and ask why. That is when you tell him. At that point, he will be sober and trying his best to show you he loves you regardless.

Haba sista!

Isn’t that blackmail after deception produced by desperation?

It is better for him to know ahead. If he will stay, he should know the important little ones ahead so they factor in his future decision making.

Hiding it will lead to questions like “what else is she hiding from me” and thus a foundation would have been laid.

Not worth it

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Tedpgrass: 12:46am On Jun 18, 2020
etrange:


After you'd be blaming women for abortion.


There's sth called contraception with >90% effectiveness. When combined methods are used, it brings it close to 100..

Simply no excuse...

Carelessness on the part of 1 / both partners.





To the question..
Depending on the maturity of the parties concerned.. And the reason for the relationships

But best to disclose as early as possible in a serious committed setting otherwise non-disclosure may appear deceitful.


.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by dododawa1: 12:46am On Jun 18, 2020
New world we are,even you have 10 children different woman not a big deal.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Nobody: 12:48am On Jun 18, 2020
Seun, I think it's time you started giving a relationship certificate to every nairalander that has spent at least two years on this forum. You've turned them all to relationship experts.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Nobody: 12:53am On Jun 18, 2020
The right time is when you delete your profile and get the fuk out of here.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by etrange: 12:57am On Jun 18, 2020
merahki:



shocked
Why are you blackmailing him nah?
He has a right to his preferences in a woman. I like that he knows what he wants. Some predators would still be with that single woman with a child for their selfish reasons and drop her later. That’s what’s bad.

I'm not blackmailing him. At least, that wasn't my intention. The society is just unforgiving.

3 Likes

Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Natilolo(m): 1:11am On Jun 18, 2020
The moment he makes plans marring you.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by olujastro: 1:18am On Jun 18, 2020
Kelvin5214:
A child not mine in a present relationship, God forbid. No matter how sweet you package the telling, I am leaving you for someone else
So if she had an abortion you would stay right, provided there is no child involved?
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by ibkayee(f): 1:20am On Jun 18, 2020
safarigirl:
Early on, it is the most important thing about you- parenthood.

No one should ever be ashamed of their own child, so much to keep it away from a potential love interest.

Own your offspring with your chest
Hey dear, there’s someone posing as you

Profile name is https://www.nairaland.com/safarigirI

Capital ‘i’ looks like a lowercase ‘L’. I noticed because I saw a comment he/she made about coronavirus being fake and just knew it couldn’t be you lol
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Beegrace: 1:53am On Jun 18, 2020
Been through it as a male, I told my new partner right away because I dont want to tell stories thereafter... Lo and behold, i thank God I did in the first place because a friend turned 'frenemies'' wanted to play smart and told her behind my back not knowing I had already opened to her.. Now imagine if I didn't tell her...what I know is that, if I tell you that I have a kid and you can't stomach it, take the exit route and if you are comfortable with it, game on!! Better 'women' with better understanding still dey( having a child is not a curse)
Dainy1:
What is the actual time? Immediately you met? Weeks, months after you met? Before you establish a relationship with him/her? When is the appropriate time that he/she will not get hurt nor walk away especially if they both met and love immediately?

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by neutrotoba(m): 2:04am On Jun 18, 2020
Dainy1:
What is the actual time? Immediately you met? Weeks, months after you met? Before you establish a relationship with him/her? When is the appropriate time that he/she will not get hurt nor walk away especially if they both met and love immediately?

The moment you start considering dating
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by HeavenlyCherub(f): 2:11am On Jun 18, 2020
Dainy1:
What is the actual time? Immediately you met? Weeks, months after you met? Before you establish a relationship with him/her? When is the appropriate time that he/she will not get hurt nor walk away especially if they both met and love immediately?

Immediately reveal your baggage
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by HeavenlyCherub(f): 2:15am On Jun 18, 2020
Beegrace:
Been through it as a male, I told my new partner right away because I dont want to tell stories thereafter... Lo and behold, i thank God I did in the first place because a friend turned 'frenemies'' wanted to play smart and told her behind my back not knowing I had already opened to her.. Now imagine if I didn't tell her...what I know is that, if I tell you that I have a kid and you can't stomach it, take the exit route and if you are comfortable with it, game on!! Better 'women' with better understanding still dey( having a child is not a curse)

It’s not a curse but let us not behave like a dog and have children from multiple people. Having multiple baby mamas or daddy’s shows in relationships you are the problem not the other people you were once involved with. God is not a fool. A union first followed by a child is the best way to do it. So as to avoid stories that touch

1 Like

Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by FromZeroToHero(m): 2:19am On Jun 18, 2020
If the relationship is going to the permanent site. Then you tell him or her.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Nobody: 2:29am On Jun 18, 2020
Beegrace:
Been through it as a male, I told my new partner right away because I dont want to tell stories thereafter... Lo and behold, i thank God I did in the first place because a friend turned 'frenemies'' wanted to play smart and told her behind my back not knowing I had already opened to her.. Now imagine if I didn't tell her...what I know is that, if I tell you that I have a kid and you can't stomach it, take the exit route and if you are comfortable with it, game on!! Better 'women' with better understanding still dey( having a child is not a curse)
for men, not women. It isn't easy for a woman who has got a child to find a lover who'll stay around, why so, you may ask?
Having a child out of wedlock is more like a symbol for promiscuity, especially women.
My advise to the ladies, please use condom when having sex or at least contraceptives when having sex if you know you can't keep yourself till marriage, you know why? The society is unforgiven. Please, tell me how many men would choose a single mom when juxtaposed against a lady without a child? Be guided.. use condom or contraceptives, that your boyfriend that tells you he doesn't love condom ehn, when the chips are down, he'll abandon you and heaven will not fall, tricking people into marriage with pregnancy is a age long tactic that has lost its grip in this modern day where we've adopted a more liberal and individualistic view about life, nothing is geared towards the family again. Use your head.

1 Like

Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by InvertedHammer: 2:30am On Jun 18, 2020
/
Surprise is the key.

After the wedding, have your children run out to him and shout "Welcome daddy!"and hug him tightly.

One thing must kill a man.

/
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by 360command: 2:56am On Jun 18, 2020
Dainy1:
What is the actual time? Immediately you met? Weeks, months after you met? Before you establish a relationship with him/her? When is the appropriate time that he/she will not get hurt nor walk away especially if they both met and love immediately?
sad to say this, if you are guy, tell her weeks,months after you have destroyed her Womanliness.

If you are a girl, tell him from day 1 but before he chops your pu555y.

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