shepherd316:

When will some miserable adults stop acting foolishly as kids. This thread is for educated and intelligent people who has intelligent stuffs to contribute.

so a stack n demoralised illiterate like you wants to upgrade yourself to literate level. Scram boy. Pack what is left of your perforated life n walk walk yourself into oblivion.

De guy don knack am taya

BabaRamota1980:


That guy is slow! You exchanged number with someone not in your spec. You go visited someone not in your spec, in his apt and during lockdown That guy is slow. Come and try that with me.

PureGoldh:
Hmm...just relax....No rush things....permit me to say that Flesh is trying to take charge in dx matter but keep it on a low.

As adults...you two can talk things over....if you don't like him...just tell him openly that you can't build any relationship with him.

A girl once told me that she enjoys my company but she can't date me...I asked her why and she said she just can't...That she prefers us being**Besties** I said okay...since then ....we kept it on a low.

As a gentleman,I really don't have any issue with a lady telling me her mind...I don't force things

I know you're an ozo 2.0 stop lying

The guy doesn't love her or wants a future with her, he only wants to fvck her, all the calling her "my wife"and touching na just strategy. He hasn't even asked her out or say he wants to date her. What the guy is trying to do with her is "Friends with Benefits".

Most people in this thread ain't streetsmart

Even as you seem to sound nice I like hearing stories from both parties better you call a spade a spade what is this I enjoy his company but he's not my spec are you perfect or special? forming irrelevant importance you said you don't like him so what are you always doing around him do you visit all your former single male neighbors like that.. ok if you have a guy and he notice this will you proudly say exactly what you are telling us.. cheating is embedded in female and cry more when they see their crush or enspouse do same... Stop acting holier than thou, is a yes or a no stop giving people greenlight before tomorrow the world will say it's rape or she engage in it and tag bestie.. thunder abeg some people don too reason rubbishhhhhh in this generation

If he doesn't tell you that he wants to take the relationship to the next level, the next time he touches or do all sort, tell him to his face you ain't into all that.

Men needs to get sense and be straight with what they want in this life

HE IS ALREADY REFERING TO YOU AS HIS FUTURE!! CHEI, my sister just flee oo

Well said sir

Give him the impression that you have started dating someone and see how he reacts.

This will go a long way in putting him in check, and from his reaction you will know what to do next in friend zoning him.

Had similar experience.

I told the guy straight up cause he was already trying to make some funny moves.

Just tell him or ignore,relationship isn't about bread n butter.
Feelings at times can mislead you.

A Charge is a basic property of matter. ... Like charges repel each other; unlike charges attract. Thus, two negative charges repel one another, while a positive charge attracts a negative charge.

Therefore, we don't need to continue to deceive ourselves that a man and a woman can make a good friend except if it was business that brings them together.

You are visiting a man at his home and you expect him not to have a feeling for you, do you think can control nature or what?

ednut1:
you are mad and have no one to tell you. you visit him well but he is not your type. Thank God he no rape you sha

You did hear that they were friends and used to visit each other. Se if she comes out today she stopped visiting her make friends because he is a man and men rape women so she cut him off, all of you will come out to shoot NOT ALL MEN! Which is it Oga? Y'all are confused people.

Intrepid01:
No wahala...I’m not attracted to him yen yen yen...we’ll be here to ask how far about that your myopic decision you made 10yrs ago?

You think life is a Nollywood movie, where because the girl rejected the boy, her life hot bad and his got better. You better wake up! Nothing will happen to her in 10 years, she will be married, have a good career abroad and a loving circle of friends, while you will still be here on nairaland being bitter because a woman rejected you once.

jaxxy:


What exactly do u mean by he is not ur spec? And what is Ur spec?? I ask cos sometimes we hold ridiculous ideas of our spec till reality sets in. So pls make sure ure being fair and reasonable.

I’m not asking u to date him bt know exactly what u want cos gals are usually and mostly confused. I’ve also seen ladies Change their so called specs over and again for all manner of reasons. Cheers

Na by force. If she chooses to change her spec again and again wetin concern you. Some of you here, your spec is a virgin but you're here fornicating up and down, worry about your own confused spec oga

maiquel:
So he calls you wife or sees you as one in the future... that's where you tell him point blank. "I don't see a future with you, I don't want to be your wife whether now or in the future"
But I guess you like the attention and the sweetness he offers.
Come off it jare!

Imagine if she had said this exact words to him and posted about it on nairaland, it's the same you guys that will come and start shouting about how women are rude kini kan kini kan. What do you guys want exactly?

MarieSucre:


Na by force. If she chooses to change her spec again and again wetin concern you. Some of you here, your spec is a virgin but you're here fornicating up and down, worry about your own confused spec oga

I’m trying to help her make the best choice not my choice or his choice. What the benefit in going round in circles when u can take ur time and get it right in fewer steps from experience of others??

I never said it was by force or she shud date the guy bt rather be sure of what she wants.

J111333:
Oh yea, she sounds like a nice girl but to think that the dude is after her may be an too early assumption.
Dude may just want friendship but here she is, sweating to build a wall when there is no border.

I'm sure your male friends also touch you inappropriately. But keep in mind they also just want friendship. rada rada

jaxxy:


I’m trying to help her make the best choice not my choice or his choice. What the benefit in going round in circles when u can take ur time and get it right in fewer steps from experience of others??

I never said it was by force or she shud date the guy bt rather be sure of what she wants.

Why should she take the advice of a random internet stranger. Especially one who started off his advice by insulting her, calling her confused and insulting her whole gender in the process.

If your original intention is supposed to benefit her then you must work on a better way to deliver your message or risk losing your audience.

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year, I ran into my Neighbour and we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen.

Fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship.

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. We are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. As a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression.

He stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. What do I do? Is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people who just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control, which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him.

Do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I'm over thinking the whole thing?

There is nothing wrong with a relationship/marriage developing from a friendship. So, if he started catching feelings, it's expected.

But since the issue is that he is not your spec, I suggest you reduce the time spent with him to the minimum to help him.

Though, you are two single people with possibilities, love can blossoms if you let it.

MarieSucre:


Why should she take the advice of a random internet stranger. Especially one who started off his advice by insulting her, calling her confused and insulting her whole gender in the process.

If your original intention is supposed to benefit her then you must work on a better way to deliver your message or risk losing your audience.

Probably my words were misconstrued then. I was just being blunt or perhaps direct. What exactly is her spec? If u ask she might not give u Smtn concrete. I have seen gals make these mistakes over and again. I have a lot of female frnds.

How do they even arrive at that spec might be from a fairly tale or holly movie. Lol


That’s why I probed her with that question to be sure she knows what she wants exactly. That’s all.

If u noticed she didn’t mention anything bad about this guy and I wanted more details of why he isn’t her spec to judge the matter better.

ehix89:
If you think he is good enough for you then date him otherwise stop this nonsense friendship of a thing. I'll be blunt, a boy and a girl can't be just friends, one if not both at a point will start catching feelings.

She is not the only one who defined what they have as friendship.

jaxxy:


Probably my words were misconstrued then. I was just being blunt or perhaps direct. What exactly is her spec? If u ask she might not give u Smtn concrete. I have seen gals make these mistakes over and again. I have a lot of female frnds.

How do they even arrive at that spec might be from a fairly tale or holly movie. Lol


That’s why I probed her with that question to be sure she knows what she wants exactly. That’s all.

That is not contention here, the contention is not what her spec is but how to turn the guy down gently. Don't read ABC and go and answer DEF. Except you like her, then come our plain and ask her out so she she can turn you down in front of all of nairaland.

Maj196:
He's not your spec becuz he no get moni abi. If he be millionaire now he go become your spec

I like how Nigerians are proud about their illiteracy and inability to comprehend simple things. It is stated clearly there that the guy is financially okay, but because you have an agenda, you must insert into everything, even stories wey e no concern.

You bettr go and work for your own money and stop being jealous of other men who have money

bluefilm:


So just because he is referring to you as his wife in the future, you now think he is already thinking of you as his wife?

The way some of you girls dey reason at times.

My friend to tell you the truth, you are the one deceiving yourself.

If you want to let him know that you don't consider him at all for any love-entanglement business, then you should be making plans to introduce your REAL boyfriend to him.

Dasal.

I'm sure your male friends also refer to you as their husband too. Since y'all want to act ignorant here.
It's like y'all don't read a story to understand. Y'all just open your mouth waaaaah

MarieSucre:


That is not contention here, the contention is not what her spec is but how to turn the guy down gently. Don't read ABC and go and answer DEF. Except you like her, then come our plain and ask her out so she she can turn you down in front of all of nairaland.

Ure accusing me of jumping ABC to DEF and u just did same thing by telling me if I like her I shud make a move? what’s my business do I know her? The many gals I have around me I haven’t made unnecessary moves then I shud make a move on an anonymous post? incredible bt life is not that hard. Let’s just be nice.

I gave my advice like I wud to a sister bt the gal is free to do whatever she likes. I don’t know her or the guy I was only being objective based on my own experience.

jaxxy:


Ure accusing me of jumping ABC to DEF and u just did same thing by telling me if I like her I shud make a move? what’s my business do I know her? The many gals I have around me I haven’t made unnecessary moves then I shud make a move on an anonymous post? incredible bt life is not that hard. Let’s just be nice.

I gave my advice like I wud to a sister bt the gal is free to do whatever she likes. I don’t know her or the guy I was only being objective based on my own experience.

If it's based on your own experience then you're being Subjective not Objective. Know the difference.

MarieSucre:


She is not the only one who defined what they have as friendship.

I really don't think she is the only one who defines that, how about the guy, where does he stands, does he sees whatever they are having as just mere friendship?

MarieSucre:


You think life is a Nollywood movie, where because the girl rejected the boy, her life hot bad and his got better. You better wake up! Nothing will happen to her in 10 years, she will be married, have a good career abroad and a loving circle of friends, while you will still be here on nairaland being bitter because a woman rejected you once.

Lol...what a huge blow from an unsuspecting person. Babe, calm down and take water. I didn’t insinuate anything negative but reality. So pls stop crying more than the bereaved.
You actually do sound like a victim you know.

MarieSucre:


I like how Nigerians are proud about their illiteracy and inability to comprehend simple things. It is stated clearly there that the guy us financially okay, but because you have an agenda, you must insert into everything, even stories wey e no concern.

You be there go and work for your own money and stop being jealous of other men who have money

Biitch please ... You don't know shiit

ehix89:
I really don't think she is the only one who defines that, how about the guy, where does he stands, does he sees whatever they are having as just mere friendship?

That's what I mean.