You be Erica and your Neighbor na Laycon... U re mentally attracted to him and not physical attraction... Eyah

PureGoldh:
Hmm...just relax....No rush things....permit me to say that Flesh is trying to take charge in dx matter but keep it on a low.

As adults...you two can talk things over....if you don't like him...just tell him openly that you can't build any relationship with him.

A girl once told me that she enjoys my company but she can't date me...I asked her why and she said she just can't...That she prefers us being**Besties** I said okay...since then ....we kept it on a low.

As a gentleman,I really don't have any issue with a lady telling me her mind...I don't force things

Exctaly cause I once experience it has well.....just talk it out been silent can keep him if you really like the guy talk it out and let him know your stand.

Lol

Turn him down and move on.

The Best way to turn him Down without Hurting him is to Turn Him Down without Hurting Him

He's not your spec becuz he no get moni abi. If he be millionaire now he go become your spec

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year, I ran into my Neighbour and we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen.

Fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship.

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. We are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. As a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression.

He stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. What do I do? Is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people who just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control, which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him.

Do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I'm over thinking the whole thing?

If you think he is good enough for you then date him otherwise stop this nonsense friendship of a thing. I'll be blunt, a boy and a girl can't be just friends, one if not both at a point will start catching feelings.

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year, I ran into my Neighbour and we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen.

Fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship.

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. We are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. As a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression.

He stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. What do I do? Is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people who just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control, which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him.

Do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I'm over thinking the whole thing?

you are already into him but dont know yet.

wait till u see him with another girl, then the scales will fall off.

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year, I ran into my Neighbour and we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen.

Fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship.

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. We are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. As a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression.

He stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. What do I do? Is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people who just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control, which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him.

Do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I'm over thinking the whole thing?

In order not to lose your relationship with him, since you said he is a good person and you enjoy his company.... i will suggest you tell him respectful......I HAVE NOTICED YOU LIKE ME AND I LIKE YOU TOO BUT PRESENTLY I AM IN RELATIONSHIP...... To me, he will respect you more for not wasting his time or tagging him along or even ignoring him............ If he is sensible guy he should understand.

I as a guy i have told some girls that....... and it went well.....

I had a girl told me that and i really appreciated her because she did not waste my time..

daddytime:
Just do not lead him on or give him false hopes when deep down you are convinced you feel nothing for him.

No use shame chop winch either out of pity. Let him know straight up how you feel, he won't bite you.

Meat wey person dey forbid him no dey use teeth share am.

Brother go dey alright.

Na lie, she go still marry am.

u want to go with the flow? Don't worry by the time he pokes u and u realize he is the best u ever had in the other room, u will know that nothing confuse a lady than a guy who knows how to Bleep.

Out of sight is out of mind.

Just Request and Request again.

Too much requesting will serve.

Simps

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year, I ran into my Neighbour and we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen.

Fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship.

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. We are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. As a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression.

He stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. What do I do? Is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people who just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control, which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him.

Do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I'm over thinking the whole thing?

My view,
Answer these questions;
Do you love him?
Do you want a relationship with him?
Do you want to give him the impression that you want a Marital relationship with him?

If your answer is No, then there are several ways you can politely decline his request without really hurting. You take him to place where you can talk and tell him what you think about him and why his advances towards you can't work.

Please for your own good, don't try to fool around with him. You might regret it. Come out straight. He will even love you more for bring honest.


Taaaankyu

Why are you ladies like this? You don't like a guy yet you don't want to let him know you don't like him. I am very sure if he asked you if you do like him, you will not give him a straight forward answer. You will still give him hope or say something like "I like your company, let's just be friends".

Most guys here can tell you of their experience of a girl telling them they are not interested or don't like them or not their spec. And when the guy decides to move on, they'll start feeling offended, jealous or betrayed.
What kind of witchcraft is that?

You'd have heard some ladies even say demonic things like "I don't like him", "I don't want him" , "He's not my spec" but I don't want to see him with another lady. Very confused set of beings!

It's like after they think they've dumped you, you must be in sorrow, you must never be happy again especially with another woman. If they see you've moved on quickly and you are happy with another person... body go dey pinch them

Better go and find your spec and live the innocent man alone

Avoid him before u cause u cause more damage. He's clearly falling in love with u. The earlier u do this the better. Stop the visits. Stop the chats and stop the calls.

humilitypays:
You are a very good lady with human empathy, and I commend you for that.


But in as much as I commend you for your empathy towards a fellow human's feelings, I must tell you the saddest truth; you will definitely end up with a wrong guy


In this life, take it from me, when it comes to settling down, nature gave man that absolute right to decide...that's why nature gave ladies that heart to accept just anybody that show them sincere care and affection unlike men.


You as a woman, you are created by nature to accept a man who shows you sincere affection, commitment, affection and respect......but western civilisation media exposure and whatnot have made women to believe they can chose their spec of a man; mostly based on physical looks which is not how women are naturally designed, they only got influenced, and majority if not all of the women that use that word "not my spec" or "I am not attracted to him" while neglecting the guy's sincere interest and commitment towards them always end up with the wrong guy, and its always too late for them, so think twice


All the best

I know why you have said the emboldened text but people might think that you are being silly.

I had a girl who didn't want me to touch her or sex her. She messed up other things like leaving me hanging after promises that often cost me some amount to money.

Now, the sex part does not mean I planned to leave her after everything... nope...

Well, she frustrated me with her attitude until i left... this year, she started telling me that she lost her virginity to another guy and that i thought she sleeps around blah blah.. in her mind, she thought it was all about sex.

So, I asked her, after all said and done: "where is the guy she gave her virginity to" and her only answer was SILENCE. of course, the guy was gone.

A lot of them make this mistakes every time and all I do is watch. the truth is, women are not wired to like or want the nice guys. do not be surprised that the reason why this guy in question is not "her spec" is because he has been too gentle and nice to her. often times, this is what triggers their repulsive feelings. BUt assuming the guy in question had numerous girls coming to his house or he does not give her much attention, she would start feeling jealous ( there was a case of another nairaland lady who had this less than 2 weeks ago)

it is a messed up situation for these women.

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year, I ran into my Neighbour and we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen.

Fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship.

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. We are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. As a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression.

He stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. What do I do? Is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people who just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control, which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him.

Do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I'm over thinking the whole thing?

RUBBISH TALK. PLS STOP D VISIT AND D CHAT, PERIOD. STOP GIVING HOM ATTENTION AND FIND UR WAY OUT FROM HIM.

Wat for came to realize in this life is dat we are all made differently not jst by our looks buh our inner minds n actions.
I knw of a lady who is sooo fine buh he likes guys so much. She hardly turn a guy down. She is always ready to open de door, de surprising thing is dat de father is so rich dat she can afford anything dat she lyk.
I also knw of an average looking gal who is so choosey. Dat she selects guys base on looks n not dere pocket. She wants a vanvika type of man physically. My sister I say u go wait tire sotey u go marry person way u no plan for

This one is a matter for the "elders"............. Selling intelligent dispenser

Just make your mind know to him ..... Simple

Openbusiness:
This one is a matter for the "elders"............. Selling intelligent dispenser

Sit your ass in your house. You go visiting a man and you say make him preek no rise. Which kain friendship cat and rat dey do?

Find a hobby, find a job, get your hands busy and you won’t have to explain yourself to your neighbor!

GraGra247:
Summary:

You want nothing beyond friendship.

He wants your body in pretence of a future with you.

Solution: Point blank withdraw from him

You went straight to it.

My questions to you are these: what do you really think a man wants from a woman ,and a woman from a man? And, why didn't you avoid the visits and communication -innocuous, as they seem - right from the beginning?
See, it's better to be straight forward and blunt immediately than to be latterly held in some emotional pen .
Some years back, the pastor of my then church asked me what I felt about a sister. My response was swift and direct. No feelings, I replied. I didn't realise that God had spoken through my mouth. Events ,revelations about that lady proved that God made His statement through me that day.
You should have avoided those visits during the lockdown ,together with those long chats on Whatsapp. The vibes the guy got was that you were in. Whereas, you remained outside, only temporarily dipping your toe in while you remained dry.

@Berryli
You said u don't have feelings for the guy,ok

But how would he feel he asks one of your friends out?....just asking

Simple

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year, I ran into my Neighbour and we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen.

Fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship.

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. We are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. As a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression.

He stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. What do I do? Is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people who just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control, which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him.

Do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I'm over thinking the whole thing?

Not your spec, BUT enjoys his company, Visits his regularly... plus other things both you did that you are not telling us..
How were you able to do that!?

The same way you Stylishly Enter his life, Also Stylishly Delete yourself from His life. We don't know how you entered, Why asking Us how to leave?

Just show him the recent video that's trending online right now where a guy sponsored a lady through University and the lady refused to be his wife when the father Christmas (the dude) proposed to her.