See ehn no how u go do am, he will be hurt, just do it with sense that's the koko, he will move on eventually

No responsible, well brought up lady according to Bible standards will visit a single man alone, be comfortable being alone in a room with a man, will leave the room if the situation mistakenly arises.

He's touching you only, even if na pastor he will still touch you if he finds you appealing except such has crucified his flesh and learned discipline and self control.

Rgade:
How nice of you.
It's actually hard to see a lady try to let a guy down easy.
The majority will drop you hard like hot potato like you committed a crime by declaring your intentions. Some na just to feel good self.
Anyway I'll never make the mistake of first going into the friend zone of a girl, before attempting to get into the romance zone

Do you really know why this happens?
Because if they don't drop you guys like hot potato,you will say she's leading you on.

humilitypays:
You are a very good lady with human empathy, and I commend you for that.


But in as much as I commend you for your empathy towards a fellow human's feelings, I must tell you the saddest truth; you will definitely end up with a wrong guy


In this life, take it from me, when it comes to settling down, nature gave man that absolute right to decide...that's why nature gave ladies that heart to accept just anybody that show them sincere care and affection unlike men.


You as a woman, you are created by nature to accept a man who shows you sincere affection, commitment, affection and respect......but western civilisation media exposure and whatnot have made women to believe they can chose their spec of a man; mostly based on physical looks which is not how women are naturally designed, they only got influenced, and majority if not all of the women that use that word "not my spec" or "I am not attracted to him" while neglecting the guy's sincere interest and commitment towards them always end up with the wrong guy, and its always too late for them, so think twice.


All the best

You have a point. If she likes the man enough to be visiting and sharing time with him, she can certainly be with him. Just that many ladies are now getting advice on marriage from celebrities and feminists.

What exactly do you enjoy in the company of a single guy that knows you are also single.

Or you are waiting until you find someone better.

Let him later you first, you will be crying

Op is a very thoughtful person...




If he likes you... No matter how you say it, he will be hurt...
And what if he was just interested in enjoying relationship benefits without actually being in one, it could be possible..
Just reduce or better still avoid going to his house.. Reduce your conversations to basically greetings.. He will get the message if he is a wise guy.

some guys sef
u will just see a girl today and cos she gave u her number u will already be calling her ur woman or ur babe or my future wifey
what nosense
biko tell the guy u already in a relationship and u have someone u love
tell him and dont lead him on cos if u do he might also come to nl to create a thread complaining how a girl scammed him
tell him u have someone and if he still keeps coming avoid

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him.


This really gat me thinking... I guess when girls talk about thier spec, it just simply has everything to do with physical appearance FIRST b4 other qualities.
Finally someone has atleast admitted that sexual attraction is actually more important to babes than bank account attraction

Well to contribute 2 d matter on ground... U n I know ur not attracted to him, and deep down inside u, u know u never will. Ur already doing a good job by pulling out gradually, there is no better way to pull out from him without hurting him. If he's mature enough, he will understand.

Okay just tell him straight up that you aren't ready for any relationship with him, avoiding him,not visiting and communicating with him may not really work as planned cos he might be thinking that you are busy with work and other things,

You have to get in touch with ME

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year, I ran into my Neighbour and we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen.

Fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship.

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. We are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. As a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression.

He stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. What do I do? Is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people who just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control, which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him.

Do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I'm over thinking the whole thing?

That guy is slow! You exchanged number with someone not in your spec. You go visited someone not in your spec, in his apt and during lockdown That guy is slow. Come and try that with me.

Berryli,
What I didn't get from your story is why you started visiting him in the first place. A guy should do the visiting initially. The guy has interpreted your visits to mean that you are wooing him and all he is doing is simply return the affection in a man's way.

If you are not interested in him and his relationship, it's simple. Stop enjoying his company. Stop visiting him. Even, stop answering his calls and chats. Let him think about going after other girls. Don't visit him, not even once in a year. Go find the kind of guy you want.

You cannot eat your cake and have it.

This life no just balance at all.

See how everyone is telling the girl to "get rid of him" bla bla bla, like say him no be human being.

The other day one girl been dey chyke me on Facebook, I tell one of my guys him say " give the girl a chance now, you don see free phussy now you dey make nyanga".

If it was the other way around now, na so them go dey tell the girl: "dump him! Move on! Love is not by force".

Na God go judge all of una.

blackpanthar:
woow you are quite mature in understanding, I commend you for such thoughtfulness.

Now, I believe you have done what you can do... since he is not your SPEC... simply move on with your life and forget about him
Pls never mistake COMPANY for COMPANIONSHIP.... the two are never the same... move on with your life..
Why? Simple, because there is a law called the Law of BONDING... the more you keep him in your thoughts or visit him or pick his calls and reply his chats, YOU WILL DEVELOP TEMPORARY STRONG FEELINGS and at that moment you will make mistakes... the devil may even deceive you that you should manage him while waiting for the RIGHT MAN, that a bird at hand is worth TWO IN THE BUSH... IT IS A BIG MEDIOCRE LIE
I also feel you ASSUME alot without confirming your suspicions. Pls if he is not going to come out straight and ask for a relationship... you will only end up being a FRIEND WITH BENEFIT... be watchful and alert... just because you are lonely and still healing from your past relationship does not mean you should "manage" with a situationship...

So, do the right thing, walk away or tell him you are not ready to visit him because you are BUSY(yes, get busy being a better person and preparing for the right person). Get books on relationship... listen to people like Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo and work on yourself so you would be ready enough for the Great man God has for you, else if you keep minding these distractions, even when the RIGHT MAN come, you will offend him or be offended with him and loose him. Stay sharp and Stay thriving... Bless ya

You have said it all,i could not have said much as this.

i go with your dept of flow.

PureGoldh:
Hmm...just relax....No rush things....permit me to say that Flesh is trying to take charge in dx matter but keep it on a low.

As adults...you two can talk things over....if you don't like him...just tell him openly that you can't build any relationship with him.

A girl once told me that she enjoys my company but she can't date me...I asked her why and she said she just can't...That she prefers us being**Besties** I said okay...since then ....we kept it on a low.

As a gentleman,I really don't have any issue with a lady telling me her mind...I don't force things

thank God u werent rolling on the mud and crying like that mumu on white the other day for owerri

jaxxy:


What exactly do u mean by he is not ur spec? And what is Ur spec?? I ask cos sometimes we hold ridiculous ideas of our spec till reality sets in. So pls make sure ure being fair and reasonable.

I’m not asking u to date him bt know exactly what u want cos gals are usually and mostly confused. I’ve also seen ladies Change their so called specs over and again for all manner of reasons. Cheers

its not by force
even u have girls hitting on u that u dont find attractive
let ppl date who ever they want to date jor
we shouldnt be guilt tripping ppl cos they refused the advances of someone

U Can Turn Him Down By Not Being Available Or Being Busy.

BlueOrange:
Thank you for being thoughtful and considerate if another soul. This is only something a good person can do

Keep limiting his access to you and withdraw gradually, from one month to three months, he'll get the memo along the line unless he's stvpid


Happy September

He may not be stupid but he allows his emotion to control him. The same thing Ozo is doing with Nengi in the BBN house that makes him to be called a SIMP!
O.P : tell him straight up you are not interested in a relationship with him. Las Las, just help his conji and be an Fmate

lefulefu:
its not by force
even u have girls hitting on u that u dont find attractive
let ppl date who ever they want to date jor
we shouldnt be guilt tripping ppl cos they refused the advances of someone

I only said she shud be sure I didn’t say she must or shud. I know how gals can be with funny ideas of my spec. Lol

I don't have to read your post
If he loves you then love him back

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year, I ran into my Neighbour and we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen.

Fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship.

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. We are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. As a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression.

He stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. What do I do? Is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people who just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control, which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him.

Do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I'm over thinking the whole thing?

your writing was actually making alot of sense till you asked us if you would go ahead and date the same person you have assured us you don't like

The truth is this, once you don't like a guy, please let me go, Infact if it will hurt him telling him, let it be, the hurt he go through for not getting into the relationship he cherish will be very small to the hurt he will go true in the middle of the relationship when he realizes that you never loved him

Besides, I know that women most times don't know what they want, so there are possibilities that you don't know if you love him or not

is the same as making omelette without making eggs

blackpanthar:
woow you are quite mature in understanding, I commend you for such thoughtfulness.

Now, I believe you have done what you can do... since he is not your SPEC... simply move on with your life and forget about him
Pls never mistake COMPANY for COMPANIONSHIP.... the two are never the same... move on with your life..
Why? Simple, because there is a law called the Law of BONDING... the more you keep him in your thoughts or visit him or pick his calls and reply his chats, YOU WILL DEVELOP TEMPORARY STRONG FEELINGS and at that moment you will make mistakes... the devil may even deceive you that you should manage him while waiting for the RIGHT MAN, that a bird at hand is worth TWO IN THE BUSH... IT IS A BIG MEDIOCRE LIE
I also feel you ASSUME alot without confirming your suspicions. Pls if he is not going to come out straight and ask for a relationship... you will only end up being a FRIEND WITH BENEFIT... be watchful and alert... just because you are lonely and still healing from your past relationship does not mean you should "manage" with a situationship...

So, do the right thing, walk away or tell him you are not ready to visit him because you are BUSY(yes, get busy being a better person and preparing for the right person). Get books on relationship... listen to people like Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo and work on yourself so you would be ready enough for the Great man God has for you, else if you keep minding these distractions, even when the RIGHT MAN come, you will offend him or be offended with him and loose him. Stay sharp and Stay thriving... Bless ya

My dear call him and now and ask him if you people are just friends or in a relationship ...Be straight with him. It maybe that your presence and chats are just leading him.Don't assume , ask you people are dating .If he says yes, tell him you are not interested and you don't want the relationship.. that you want to focus on your dreams and aspirations..

Obakashdee:
I was on this situation with my neighbor about 2 weeks ago but right now I’m free, she is a good lady and she told me plainly that she doesn’t want a relationship and though it’s quite painful and I withdrew from her also, she took it badly and stopped talking to me, she is now visiting another neighbors place frequently now.

Bottom line is just tell him plainly and don’t give him green light again if you don’t want, he will be hurt no matter how you do it, it’s normal. But know that your friendship is on the line here.

I rest my case

What kind of immature, thoughtless neighbour you have!

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year, I ran into my Neighbour and we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen.

Fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship.

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. We are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. As a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression.

He stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. What do I do? Is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people who just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control, which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him.

Do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I'm over thinking the whole thing?

this is how yall lose out on good guys.. Then u get ur heart broken by one Bleep boy.. Then u start regretting ur actions.. U Re friend zoning someone who's into u.. Smh.. No worries..

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year, I ran into my Neighbour and we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen.

Fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship.

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. We are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. As a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression.

He stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. What do I do? Is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people who just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control, which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him.

Do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I'm over thinking the whole thing?

You're in love with his mind but not with his body.

Confused lots.

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year, I ran into my Neighbour and we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen.

Fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship.

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. We are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. As a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression.

He stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. What do I do? Is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people who just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control, which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him.

Do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I'm over thinking the whole thing?

Flow keee you there

BlueOrange:
Thank you for being thoughtful and considerate if another soul. This is only something a good person can do

Keep limiting his access to you and withdraw gradually, from one month to three months, he'll get the memo along the line unless he's stvpid


Happy September

chai women
see the way you end your comments

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year, I ran into my Neighbour and we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen.

Fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship.

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. We are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. As a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression.

He stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. What do I do? Is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people who just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control, which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him.

Do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I'm over thinking the whole thing?

Ol boy! can u beat that!? what a life! Alot of ladies in different relationships are like this, THEY JUST DONT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT. For that reason, they will just experiment, if it works fine, if it doesn't work fine.

U ladies should help us the guys, abeg. Stop starting what u know u cannot finish, I use God take beg una. I will leave it there for now.


And sister, u should know this and know it for sure. When it comes to man and woman relationship, there is nothing like he is or she is just a friend. If it is possible for one not to have any feeling or any thing in mind, the other party will definitely have just that they may not show it and some times will do. I have seen ladies that got very close to some guy and the guy just believed it was a just a friend thing but the girl wanted more. And when she found out the guy was the straight type she left him angrily and was calling him mugu. So, many guys of these days has grown wise and dont take chances.


It is only in church of born again u can find such relationship and not with ur neighbour.

SISTA, MAKE UNA HELP MATTA

Benwallt:
He will hurt your pussy lass lass.

When will some miserable adults stop acting foolishly as kids. This thread is for educated and intelligent people who has intelligent stuffs to contribute.

freeborn02:


What kind of immature, thoughtless neighbour you have!

I was surprised, when I noticed, even my other neighbors thought we already had a thing and were asking me why isn’t she coming to my room again and is now frequenting another guy’s room. Well Na so we see am o.

Soldier go soldier come, Barack na same thing.