Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year, I ran into my Neighbour and we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen.

Fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship.

He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. We are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. As a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression.

He stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. What do I do? Is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people who just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control, which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him.

Do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I'm over thinking the whole thing?

Thank you for being thoughtful and considerate if another soul. This is only something a good person can do

Keep limiting his access to you and withdraw gradually, from one month to three months, he'll get the memo along the line unless he's stvpid


Happy September

woow you are quite mature in understanding, I commend you for such thoughtfulness.

Now, I believe you have done what you can do... since he is not your SPEC... simply move on with your life and forget about him
Pls never mistake COMPANY for COMPANIONSHIP.... the two are never the same... move on with your life..
Why? Simple, because there is a law called the Law of BONDING... the more you keep him in your thoughts or visit him or pick his calls and reply his chats, YOU WILL DEVELOP TEMPORARY STRONG FEELINGS and at that moment you will make mistakes... the devil may even deceive you that you should manage him while waiting for the RIGHT MAN, that a bird at hand is worth TWO IN THE BUSH... IT IS A BIG MEDIOCRE LIE
I also feel you ASSUME alot without confirming your suspicions. Pls if he is not going to come out straight and ask for a relationship... you will only end up being a FRIEND WITH BENEFIT... be watchful and alert... just because you are lonely and still healing from your past relationship does not mean you should "manage" with a situationship...

So, do the right thing, walk away or tell him you are not ready to visit him because you are BUSY(yes, get busy being a better person and preparing for the right person). Get books on relationship... listen to people like Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo and work on yourself so you would be ready enough for the Great man God has for you, else if you keep minding these distractions, even when the RIGHT MAN come, you will offend him or be offended with him and loose him. Stay sharp and Stay thriving... Bless ya

Friendship is all about communication.... But since u don't want it again, go to him and tell him practically....
#Case_close

Just do not lead him on or give him false hopes when deep down you are convinced you feel nothing for him.

No use shame chop winch either out of pity. Let him know straight up how you feel, he won't bite you.

Meat wey person dey forbid him no dey use teeth share am.

Brother go dey alright.

Be polite and clear. Don't be ambiguous or rude.

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How nice of you.
It's actually hard to see a lady try to let a guy down easy.
The majority will drop you hard like hot potato like you committed a crime by declaring your intentions. Some na just to feel good self.
Anyway I'll never make the mistake of first going into the friend zone of a girl, before attempting to get into the romance zone

Summary:

You want nothing beyond friendship.

He wants your body in pretence of a future with you.

Solution: Point blank withdraw from him

GraGra247:
Summary:

You want nothing beyond friendship.

He wants your body in pretence of a future with you.

Solution: Point blank withdraw from him

lol
Na fun guy won catch


Well ,4me if a gal I don't see a future with gets too close.........I appear desperate and too demanding,she will go defence, waiting 4me desprado to come bargaining lol

Na so I go take get peace

U think u are doing?lol

The rat that sweats to hide from the vulture should first ask itself if the vulture is actually interested in having it as meal.

tell him straight up,the O.G will understand and move on...
na him fvck up in the first place by going to her friend zone

jus tell him straight up, he may feel pained for now but with time he would forget about you and also stop visiting or chatting and try to avoid him...dnt put the poor gee in friendzone by still visiting, chatting and giving him hope and making him think u are jus playing hard to get, mayb dts wat u are even doing bcoz I jus dnt understand girls..

J111333:
The rat that sweats to hide from the vulture should first ask itself if the vulture is actually interested in having at as meal.

Agba!
BTW, OP run as fast as your legs can take you...

J111333:
The rat that sweats to hide from the vulture should first ask itself if the vulture is actually interested in having at as meal.

This is usually the narrative until he invites her to his traditional wedding.

The OP seems like a nice girl though.

This is a smart and well meaning girl right here.

He will hurt your pussy lass lass.

blackpanthar:
woow you are quite mature in understanding, I commend you for such thoughtfulness.

Now, I believe you have done what you can do... since he is not your SPEC... simply move on with your life and forget about him
Pls never mistake COMPANY for COMPANIONSHIP.... the two are never the same... move on with your life..
Why? Simple, because there is a law called the Law of BONDING... the more you keep him in your thoughts or visit him or pick his calls and reply his chats, YOU WILL DEVELOP TEMPORARY STRONG FEELINGS and at that moment you will make mistakes... the devil may even deceive you that you should manage him while waiting for the RIGHT MAN, that a bird at hand is worth TWO IN THE BUSH... IT IS A BIG MEDIOCRE LIE
I also feel you ASSUME alot without confirming your suspicions. Pls if he is not going to come out straight and ask for a relationship... you will only end up being a FRIEND WITH BENEFIT... be watchful and alert... just because you are lonely and still healing from your past relationship does not mean you should "manage" with a situationship...

So, do the right thing, walk away or tell him you are not ready to visit him because you are BUSY(yes, get busy being a better person and preparing for the right person). Get books on relationship... listen to people like Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo and work on yourself so you would be ready enough for the Great man God has for you, else if you keep minding these distractions, even when the RIGHT MAN come, you will offend him or be offended with him and loose him. Stay sharp and Stay thriving... Bless ya

exactly

Thanks so much guys. I really appreciate the advice means alot

Why are you worried about if hes for real or not since you don't love him? Its simple, just stop going there.

Did I hear say you wanna go with the flow since you are not in any relationship?? You are clearly confused. How can you flow with someone you dont love? What if pregnancy happens? Or along the line you find someone you love, then you'll now opt out hurting the innocent guy.

Please, if you don't love him, just drop that silly idea cos for all you know, the guy might be serious and want you for keeps while you're here planning to pass time with him.

DON'T START WHAT YOU CANT FINISH.
CUT OFF EVERYTHING NOW!!

Karleb:


This is usually the narrative until he invites her to his traditional wedding.

The OP seems like a nice girl though.

Oh yea, she sounds like a nice girl but to think that the dude is after her may be an too early assumption.
Dude may just want friendship but here she is, sweating to build a wall when there is no border.

I was on this situation with my neighbor about 2 weeks ago but right now I’m free, she is a good lady and she told me plainly that she doesn’t want a relationship and though it’s quite painful and I withdrew from her also, she took it badly and stopped talking to me, she is now visiting another neighbors place frequently now.

Bottom line is just tell him plainly and don’t give him green light again if you don’t want, he will be hurt no matter how you do it, it’s normal. But know that your friendship is on the line here.

I rest my case

J111333:
Oh yea, she looks like a nice girl but to think that the dude is after her may be an too early assumption.
Dude may just want friendship but here she is, sweating to build a wall when there is no border.

Did you read where he was getting all touchy or you chose to skip it

Obakashdee:


Did you read where he was getting all touchy or you chose to skip it

i think he choosed not to have sense,cos from his comment you'd know he was expecting her to have said they've had sex once so he can come up with the nigerian girl are bad thing.

HomerTimpson:
i think he choosed not to have sense,cos from his comment you'd know he was expecting her to have said they've had sex once so he can come up with the nigerian girl are bad thing.

I thought as much

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year,I ran into my Neighbour n we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen. fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship. He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. we are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. as a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression. he stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. what do I do? is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people whole just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control,which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him. do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I over thinking the whole thing?

Discuss with him. Let him know that you can NEVER date him. Each time he try to cross the boundary, remind him of his status, don't just keep quiet cos to him silence means pls continue

Berryli:
Few weeks to my 25th birthday, last year,I ran into my Neighbour n we exchanged numbers, then the chatting began, we became friends and he offered to take me out on my birthday but It didn't happen. fast forward to the lockdown, I would go visit him we would chat and he appreciated my company as he was alone. He eventually started to make moves, getting all touchy which got me a little surprised and uncomfortable since as friends that was improper, which got me thinking if he wants more than friendship. He has a great career, intelligent and all but not my spec, and I'm not attracted to him. we are very different people, socially and even our views about life. I enjoy his company but that's all there is. as a result if I use to visit twice in a week, I reduced it to once in two weeks and eventually monthly, and reduced the chats just to not give him the wrong impression. he stylishly refer to me in future as his wife. what do I do? is he starting to have feelings for me and how do I stylishly turn him down since he hasn't asked me out or do i wait for him to do so? cos there are people whole just draw close and start dating without d while toasting stuff or is it just his flesh loosing control,which I doubt cos I try to be as decent as possible wen visiting him. do I just go with the flow since I'm currently not in a relationship? But won't that be me deceiving him and myself cos I don't like him in that way. or I over thinking the whole thing?

Reduce all chat and visit with communications with him

Men have different views about relationship which is quite different from women

Hmm...just relax....No rush things....permit me to say that Flesh is trying to take charge in dx matter but keep it on a low.

As adults...you two can talk things over....if you don't like him...just tell him openly that you can't build any relationship with him.

A girl once told me that she enjoys my company but she can't date me...I asked her why and she said she just can't...That she prefers us being**Besties** I said okay...since then ....we kept it on a low.

As a gentleman,I really don't have any issue with a lady telling me her mind...I don't force things

Just do what's on your mind

Next time you have a talk with him ask him about his future. Where do you see yourself in 3 years or 5 years? What's your life purpose? If he mentions your name or possibility of having a relationship with you then make it known to him you're not ready yet for a relationship. And stop giving him green lights