adconline:

[color=#990000]

A court sanctioned access or visitation is better than the one your estranged Naija wife is going to give you, because she would always mess with you, but cannot mess with court ordered visitation.

People mess with Court orders on a daily basis hence the term "contempt of Court" which i must have used a million times on this thread already

Besides wasn't the two week access given to the Mum that mushroomed into Mr whachumacallit not seeing his child for 5 years,  because Mum did a runner with the child, from the story you posted If Mum was alive, would she have been extradited from kutuwenji to come and face firing squad in US of A

adconline:

You do not have a balanced view of comparison. It’s either you are blind to facts or daft as you stated. It took the man 5 yrs to get custody of his child for life. You are weighing 5yrs over the rest child’s life on earth? 5 years will be nothing.

Pele oh, so your own balanced view is employing a 3rd party whose sole interest is the money in it for him/her to start interceeding on your behalf, without giving the woman a chance to act human at all You are only spewing garbage because you have never been at a child support hearing before, otherwise you would not be pulling stuffs out of the place the sun don't shine, talking about 5 years as if this 5 years is set in stone and as if the 5t years is gonna be a walk in the park.  

adconline:


Then again, you are not forming your defense based on what I have written, but based on your emotions. How is fighting to see one’s child flexing of unnecessary muscles? Don’t you know that any visitation or custody that is not court approved or sanctioned could constitute a trespass or illegal abduction if the lady- estranged wife presses for charges? It’s like when a man verbally agrees to amicably settle a child support wahala with his ex-wife, he could still get stung with back pay even the woman got what they agreed that she would as a child support payment. Let the court sanction all your moves.

All I am saying is this can be dealt with tactfully in a diplomatical manner, not going full on, guns blazing and brandishing your perceived rights in her face using a 3rd party. Like I said in my very first post on this thread, a man/woman that wants to act like an unreasonable dickhead and a jerk would do so, with or without any Court order in place.


Again, didn't the deceased woman flaunt Court order upon Court order to bring back the abducted child back to US?

Would the Dad have gotten his kid back if the woman had not died?

Would he have gotten the child back if the Judge had not ruled against the grandparent getting a visa to the States

Siddon dia dey yarn court court court there ok We sabi money-miss-roads like you, e don tay

Shy-One:

What I won't do is back down from you. My mouth shuts - when you stop addressing me - you and Pac Kadry don't scare me, control me, dictate my intent, words, or meanings.

The one who is stuck to my legs is YOU. Notice that you can't stay away from me. I type to one person - here you come like a viral infection.

Not only did you quote but you responded to what I addressed to someone else and have the cheek to come at me claiming the moral high ground that I am addressing you and can't stay away from your pathetic self, jeez, now this bleeding heart of mine is really starting to worry about the confused state of your mind, and most especially the congealed cottage cheese of a blob you call a brain  

Shy-One:

quote by Busy_Body
EPITOME of a crass and class-less person is one who talks as you just did.  A person of Class would have stayed to the points such as adconline.  That is a person of class - while the confusion is floating around him - he is continuing to discuss the topic.

Get a clue - people with class don't call other people class-less.  You don't even know that simple truth.  So any points you make on Legal Matters to the Poster -  I can be assured that the majority of those points are full of holes.

You identified adconline as one who is long winded - throwing a slur his way.  And you call me Class-less.  No training.  None.  Etiquette NOWHERE IN SIGHT.

Miss Hyprocrite, so are you saying adconline who threw the first jab telling me I have selective typenesia was paying me a compliment in your own book right Wishy-washy much This ain't my first time of dabbling in legal matters on this forum, I do this a lot and none has ever been debunked before, so I care less what you think okay, and unlike you I don't go round blowing my own trumpet like an empty barrel about your fabulous life which only exists in your head, and my right hand does not even know what my left hand is doing

By the way, I am multitasking by discussing the issue on the ground and knocking senses into your skull, unlike you gutter tout acting like a waste of space, seeing you are this jobless, why don't you go and respond to my reply to your post boasting to the OP to ignore me What are you waiting for Thought you knew it all

Wow, so it pained you like this, that you still dey regurgitate words I said since morning, and to be honest I hadn't even started nor said anything, glad to see I hit a nerve, what a home-run/hole in one, yippee, yay, thanks for the feedback, now would you like a cookie to go with this Ouch By the way, what is with this me, my, i, me, me, me and my fantabulous crap you keep spewing Who are you again Am I supposed to care Sorry oh psycho

Fine if you wanna face me, the Autosection and Travel section could do with a break from me, just don't go crying to the Moderator to save you again, cry cry baby Dang, don't like facing women though, with their woe-is-me act and PMS-ish -X [s]GET THEE BEHIND ME DEVIL'S INCARNATE OR WAS IT SATAN THE BIBLE SAID[/s]

adconline:

Do you  believe that Denise Richards never fought for custody? Remember she has her own rap sheet including drug problems?

Noo

I don't think this is Denise - I think it is the 2nd wife - Denise is the 1st that Martin paid - she is QUALITY at least a higher level of quality than the 2nd wife who has substance abuse issues - I think she's the drunk.

She and Charlie physically fought like animals a whole lot.  Her mom is a socialite and has money - but I think that Martin Sheen a Hollywood Legend rolls a bit higher than Brooke's family.  He is a heavyweight that few will go against in Hollywood - He and Carroll O'Connor fell out because Carroll blamed Charlie Sheen a great deal for his son's death and Martin had to go up against Carroll O'Connor who is also a big Hollywood Icon more on a TV level than a Movie Level.

I'm pretty sure it is Brooke Mueller that has the twins that Charlie had custody.  He has more money, so does his dad and his substance abuse problems with the financial capital he has at his discretion can afford to pay nannies on a much higher scale than his 2nd wife.

A woman with a substance abuse problem is more readily willing to walk away from that type of responsibility.  Her sons would benefit much more with their dad than with her.  Martin Sheen as a grandfather is extremely conservative.  Brooke's Mom is a Florida Socialite and attends many social gatherings - Martin is more reclusive and would provide more support to Charlie and if Charlie overdoses or Brooke overdoses the responsible grandparent that would provide security would be Martin Sheen and he would do it more readily as he over obsesses about his family and his lineage.

So he would do the necessary to bring honor to his family name.

But that's just my speculation.  I have been following the Sheen Family for some years. They have been in and out of the news - talk shows, documentaries, interviews, etc.

Pele oh, so your own balanced view is employing a 3rd party whose sole interest is the money in it for him/her to start interceeding on your behalf, without giving the woman a chance to act human at all  You are only spewing garbage because you have never been at a child support hearing before, otherwise you would not be pulling stuffs out of the place the sun don't shine, talking about 5 years as if this 5 years is set in stone and as if the 5t years is gonna be a walk in the park. 

Your advice is like putting fuel on fire. Folks who get into divorces do not usually make-nice and not to talk of estranged Naija wife. It's better to have a court ordered visitation violated than having someone like the ex-husband charged for trespassing and illegal kidnapping. It's better to have it stated on paper than to have a "Naija promise" that would not stand any test in the court.

because your emotions would not allow to see beyond 5 years. If he does not fight to see his child, he may not see him in his lifetime. You u still dont get it, 5 years would be worth it to fight for in order to see your own flesh and blood. Who told you that it's going to be 5 yrs. The woman in question is not a resident, so is the husband, so the courts would have to take that into consideration.   You do not sound like someone who knows what child support hearing is all about; it's really unwise to tell someone not to have their visitation and custody cases decided by court.  MEDIATION is not an option
Even when you talked about mediation, it's not binding. Only arbitration and litigation are binding.

adconline:

Your advice is like putting fuel on fire. Folks who get into divorces do not usually make-nice and not to talk of estranged Naija wife. It's better to have a court ordered visitation violated than having someone like the ex-husband charged for trespassing and illegal kidnapping. It's better to have it stated on paper than to have a "Naija promise" that would not stand any test in the court.

Quit this nonsense wild baseless speculation of yours jare, the man is the one hurting here and so is likely to be the most unreasonable party outta the two. How many Nigerian men have been done for trespassing and illegal kidnapping Na so Naija man useful reach that they would want to have their child's custody that bad Is it today that Nigerian men has been walking out on their wives and kids without so much as a backward glance

adconline:


because your emotions would not allow to see beyond 5 years. If he does not fight to see his child, he may not see him in his lifetime. You u still dont get it, 5 years would be worth it to fight for in order to see your own flesh and blood. Who told you that it's going to be 5 yrs. The woman in question is not a resident, so is the husband, so the courts would have to take that into consideration.   You do not sound like someone who knows what child support hearing is all about; it's really unwise to tell someone not to have their visitation and custody cases decided by court.  MEDIATION is not an option
Even when you talked about mediation, it's not binding. Only arbitration and litigation are binding.

Bleudy hell, why are you purposely being a thicko, why fight for years what you can get without fighting? Has the lady put up a resistance? Do you even know if she is not planning on dumping the child on the man so she can be free to move on? Are you in OP under a new moniker cos you seem so sure this lady is going to shaft him again The lady is not a resident yet but how many people travel abroad without the intent on keeping one foot in the door, negligible, so stop talking like you know it all.

It is also much more unwise to tell someone to employ a Solicitor to deal with his wife when the ink is barely dried on their marriage certificate And even if mediation is not binding, shouldn't commonsense and putting aside all vested interest to concentrate on what is best for the child act as a guiding, binding force Na wa for you oh, painting all women as Jezebel already

^{*watches everything behind my couch, avoiding claws and flying earrings*}


Busybody, so na you dem call internet bully? Na so? Na who dey feel like you dey bully am? Oya, report to the principal office

Can't believe dis went on all night. SMH!

you lot should just call a truce since no one is prepared to back down.
The current exchanges has clearly deviated from the topic and the OP still hasn't found a reasonable solution to his predicament so it's best if posts are aligned towards the solution.

.

chaircover:

I am disappointed that we have not one but 2 active moderators on this section yet things were allowed to degenerate to this level.

Once again, Ladies please lets call a truce Please.

I agree that shyone pulled the first punch which I am sure she is now probably thinking wasn't such a good idea, but two wrongs don't make a right.

Lets look at it this way, is it worth anyone committing sin and grieving Christ because of a complete stranger that we will never meet in real life? . . .  .  NO I didn't think so.

So Please please & please lets just let this go and lets all move on. Shame we are not all in the UK or I would have got us all together to enjoy a nice lazy day lounging in the garden & having a drink on this bright, nice, sunny spring day

Honestly dont think they are willing to listen.

chaircover:

I agree that shyone pulled the first punch which I am sure she is now probably thinking wasn't such a good idea, but two wrongs don't make a right.

Lets look at it this way, is it worth anyone committing sin and grieving Christ because of a complete stranger that we will never meet in real life? . . .  .  NO I didn't think so.

So Please please & please lets just let this go and lets all move on. Shame we are not all in the UK or I would have got us all together to enjoy a nice lazy day lounging in the garden & having a drink on this bright, nice, sunny spring day

I responded to a writer and I will CONTINUE to respond to writers. If my response was viewed as a "punch" - there will be alot of future incidents - because basically the small statement I made was extremely light weight. I think Shy-One and Company have a MUCH clearer picture of each other THIS BEAUTIFUL MORN.

Anywho - that nice lazy day lounging in the garden sounds like my cup of tea. lololololol - Off to the gym.

Ujujoan:

Can't believe dis went on all night. SMH!

Had to do my bit for charity, helping someone exorcise their demons ain't an easy job, and sometimes we have to work overnight, but I was glad to have been able to help Now she feels energised because it can be pretty hard keeping anger in check. Its like trying to keep a ball submerged under water Phew, me and my bleeding heart And yes it was an allnighter but only 3 of my posts was addressed to her and dedicated to the exorcism ritual

jay bee:

you lot should just call a truce since no one is prepared to back down.
The current exchanges has clearly deviated from the topic and the OP still hasn't found a reasonable solution to his predicament so it's best if posts are aligned towards the solution.

chaircover:

I am disappointed that we have not one but 2 active moderators on this section yet things were allowed to degenerate to this level.

Once again, Ladies please lets call a truce Please.

I agree that shyone pulled the first punch which I am sure she is now probably thinking wasn't such a good idea, but two wrongs don't make a right.

Lets look at it this way, is it worth anyone committing sin and grieving Christ because of a complete stranger that we will never meet in real life? . . .  .  NO I didn't think so.

So Please please & please lets just let this go and lets all move on. Shame we are not all in the UK or I would have got us all together to enjoy a nice lazy day lounging in the garden & having a drink on this bright, nice, sunny spring day

Like I told Uju, I am doing a charitable work and I already heeded Ileke-idi's request to stop knocking senses into her porous head.  So who's calling for a truce, when the fightdemons possessing her sense has been looooong released

It is natural for her to try save face after having her ugly questionable sanctimonuous holier-than-thou I-am-the-most-holy-on-Nairaland character called into play and laid bare for all to see, [/b] hence the reason she went into an uncontrollable spasm of verbal diarrhoea, making five posts for every one post I make.


I have finished doing her a favour and have allowed her off the hook like I said, because I am not a sadist that relishes kicking a dog that is already down, and I have already said i will only come back, if I see her or someone else bullying someone again, that she'd think a juggernaut's descended on her so your responses are a few good 4 hours late though, don't y'all think


By the way Jaybee, don't you have a section that's gone to the rack and ruin to moderate, as if 85% of my posts on the thread addressed to adconline is not within the remit of the thread If you feel the need to call someone out, don't hide behind me or use me as a smokescreen to do it, so abeg hop off ma tip already jare

Shy-One:

I responded to a writer and I will CONTINUE to respond to writers. If my response was viewed as a "punch" - there will be alot of future incidents - because basically the small statement I made was extremely light weight. I think Shy-One and Company have a MUCH clearer picture of each other THIS BEAUTIFUL MORN.

Anywho - that nice lazy day lounging in the garden sounds like my cup of tea. lololololol - Off to the gym.

Sheeesh woman!

Everybody is telling you to quit and you are still claiming right!

Next thing now you go start to quote bible . . . Na wa oh!

Busy_body:


Had to do my bit for charity, helping someone exorcise their demons ain't an easy job, and sometimes we have to work overnight, but I was glad to have been able to help Now she feels energised because it can be pretty hard keeping anger in check. Its like trying to keep a ball submerged under water Phew, me and my bleeding heart And yes it was an allnighter but only 3 of my posts was addressed to her and dedicated to the exorcism ritual

BB e don do . . e jor!

Abeg make una end dis fight make the poster come tell us wetin dey happen with im run away wife!

Ujujoan:


BB e don do . . e jor!

Abeg make una end dis fight make the poster come tell us wetin dey happen with im run away wife!

Yes class captain, no I don't want the frogjump as punishment, i pwomise to do as told from henceforth

nike4luv:

Honestly dont think they are willing to listen.

Sowwy she made me do it

Sowwy for giving you extra work to do Miss, er . . .that didn't come out right. ,  er . . . it should be . . . sowwy for doing your work for you. . . so thats me told off then . . . off I go to sit in the naughty corner as usual

See wetin scarcity of men don cause for this thread.

Ok I get its end of the month and its time for [size=28pt]P[/size]ublic [size=28pt]M[/size]aintenance [size=28pt]S[/size]chedule

OK Vent on me. And anyone that needs to get some can see me behind curtains I am offering myself for community service

^^^ bad guy.

dayokanu:

See wetin scarcity of men don cause for this thread.

Ok I get its end of the month and its time for [size=28pt]P[/size]ublic [size=28pt]M[/size]aintenance [size=28pt]S[/size]chedule

OK Vent on me. And anyone that needs to get some can see me behind curtains I am offering myself for community service

ahahahahahahaha

Ujujoan:

Sheeesh woman!

[s]Everybody is telling you to quit and you are still claiming right!

Next thing now you go start to quote bible . . . Na wa oh! [/s]

Musketeer Number 4

And you are talking to me because of whom?

@Shy one . . .smile and the world smiles with you.
Fight and the world . . . .
@Thread,Since OP dropped his bombshell,he never returned either to answer questions posed or anything.
Im beginning to think he is either using another handle or not serious/honest.

Nigerians?? most of us are so foolish self when trying to be smart, the person wey get this post never comment since and una they argue like craze person, una get job?

@ ifyalways



I am well aware

Shy-One:

@ ifyalways



I am well aware

Ok then.

Quit this nonsense wild baseless speculation of yours jare, the man is the one hurting here and so is likely to be the most unreasonable party outta the two. How many Nigerian men have been done for trespassing and illegal kidnapping Na so Naija man useful reach that they would want to have their child's custody that bad Is it today that Nigerian men has been walking out on their wives and kids without so much as a backward glance


You are the one spewing nonsense and garbage. He’s hurting here and you are advising to put a band aid on a painful wound instead of asking to seek for a medical help from an anesthesiologist. You see what I told you about sense of comparison: You know people who violate court orders, but don’t know about people who are likely to be put to jail because of trespassing or illegal kidnapping. In the law court, someone who does not have a “prior” is not likely to violate a court order and most Nigerians fall in this category and the conditions attached to her visa necessitate that she must not be in violation of the law in order to be in status. Simply put, violate a court order; your visa is in jeopardy.
I keep telling you that you have brought your emotional baggage to bear in this discussion, that’s why you are telling the guy to take it easy after all “men” are doing it to women. It seems you are on a revenge mission here
Telling the man to talk things over is like telling a drowning man that help is on way from a 1400 square ft yacht that is 1400 miles away. You advice is soothing for folks who have emotional problems, but not in real life situation like. The man is losing his only child you are telling him to take it easy and talk things over with her as if has not done that before coming to a faceless and nameless forum to seek for advice. Get real we live in the world! That’s people get married in churches and mosques and settle marital and divorces issues in courts.

Bleudy hell, why are you purposely being a thicko, why fight for years what you can get without fighting? Has the lady put up a resistance? Do you even know if she is not planning on dumping the child on the man so she can be free to move on? Are you in OP under a new moniker cos you seem so sure this lady is going to shaft him again The lady is not a resident yet but how many people travel abroad without the intent on keeping one foot in the door, negligible, so stop talking like you know it all.

So if she's not coming back, the man should wait for her to bring home their only child? One thing is very clear, the man says that he's over resourced to find his family. Let him go for it. Got it in your head??


It is also much more unwise to tell someone to employ a Solicitor to deal with his wife when the ink is barely dried on their marriage certificate And even if mediation is not binding, shouldn't commonsense and putting aside all vested interest to concentrate on what is best for the child act as a guiding, binding force Na wa for you oh, painting all women as Jezebel already.

Unless, you read a different post, cos the OP stated that the wife has left the marriage .I wonder if you knew the caption of the OP?

adconline:

Quit this nonsense wild baseless speculation of yours jare, the man is the one hurting here and so is likely to be the most unreasonable party outta the two. How many Nigerian men have been done for trespassing and illegal kidnapping  Na so Naija man useful reach that they would want to have their child's custody that bad  Is it today that Nigerian men has been walking out on their wives and kids without so much as a backward glance


You are the one spewing nonsense and garbage. He’s hurting here and you are advising to put a band aid on a painful wound instead of asking to seek for a medical help from an anesthesiologist. You see what I told you about sense of comparison: You know people who violate court orders, but don’t know about people who are likely to be put to jail because of trespassing or illegal kidnapping. In the law court, someone who does not have a “prior” is not likely to violate a court order and most Nigerians fall in this category and the conditions attached to her visa necessitate that she must not be in violation of the law in order to be in status. Simply put, violate a court order; your visa is in jeopardy.
I keep telling you that you have  brought your emotional baggage to bear in this discussion, that’s why you are telling the guy to take it easy after all “men” are doing it to women.  It seems you are on a revenge mission here
Telling the man to talk things over is like telling a drowning man that help is on way from a 1400 square ft yacht that is 1400 miles away. You advice is soothing for folks who have emotional problems, but not in real life situation like. The man is losing his only child you are telling him to take it easy and talk things over with her as if has not done that before coming to a faceless and nameless forum to seek for advice. Get real we live in the world! That’s people get married in churches and mosques and settle marital and divorces issues in courts.

Bleudy hell, why are you purposely being a thicko, why fight for years what you can get without fighting? Has the lady put up a resistance? Do you even know if she is not planning on dumping the child on the man so she can be free to move on? Are you in OP under a new moniker cos you seem so sure this lady is going to shaft him again  The lady is not a resident yet but how many people travel abroad without the intent on keeping one foot in the door, negligible, so stop talking like you know it all.

So if she's not coming back, the man should wait for her to bring home their only child? One thing is very clear, the man says that he's over resourced to find his family. Let him go for it. Got it in your head??


It is also much more unwise to tell someone to employ a Solicitor to deal with his wife when the ink is barely dried on their marriage certificate  And even if mediation is not binding, shouldn't commonsense and putting aside all vested interest to concentrate on what is best for the child act as a guiding, binding force  Na wa for you oh, painting all women as Jezebel already.

Unless, you read a different post, cos the OP stated that the wife has left the marriage .I wonder  if you knew the caption of the OP

Have you heard the old saying “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”? Well that’s the approach that’s being proposed here. Yeah the OP is hurting, his wife just left. . .he feels betrayed but for the sake of his son, he has to be RATIONAL about this and find a less combative way to handle things. Hiring a lawyer is like using a bazooka to hunt a grasshopper, when all that’s needed is some gentle coaxing and you’ll have it leaping into your hands.

Except the woman is just plain evil (seeking a divorce does not make one evil. . .let’s be clear on that) or the man has not been as good a husband as he’s presented himself,  I doubt she wants do deprive him of his son. I’ll even go as far as saying she probably feels bad for what she’s done/doing and will be willing to work something out.  This is why he needs to put aside the hurt from her leaving him and work on being in his son’s life. He shouldn’t do anything to put her on the defensive, SHE HOLDS ALL THE ACES right now because she has something he wants, she's also got the home court advantage.  . . is it fair on the OP? Of course not but that’s the way it is. So what the OP should focus on right now is to look for ways to draw her out of her comfort zone and the only way he can do that is by not attacking i.e bringing cut throat lawyer into instead, he should get their families. . .his and hers involved it and come up with an amicable less War of The Roses or Kramer vs Kramer way to handle this situation. 

By the way, everyone on this thread has brought emotions into it. . .

- Those screaming for the woman’s head on a silver platter and have deemed her unfit to raise her child do so not because they know her but because they have put their sons, brother’s  cousins and even themselves in OP’s shoes. 
- Those who believe the husband is not the saint he presents himself because no sane woman will just up and leave her husband without a serious underlining issue. . . have put themselves in the woman’s shoes.

ALL EMOTIONS and this is not necessarily a bad thing, after all we are talking about people here.

Sisi_Kill:

Have you heard the old saying “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”? Well that’s the approach that’s being proposed here. Yeah the OP is hurting, his wife just left. . .he feels betrayed but for the sake of his son, he has to be RATIONAL about this and find a less combative way to handle things. Hiring a lawyer is like using a bazooka to hunt a grasshopper, when all that’s needed is some gentle coaxing and you’ll have it leaping into your hands.

Except the woman is just plain evil (seeking a divorce does not make one evil. . .let’s be clear on that) or the man has not be as good a husband as he’s presented himself,  I doubt she wants do deprive him of his son. I’ll even go as far as saying she probably feels bad for what she’s done/doing and will be willing to work something out.  This is why he needs to put aside the hurt from her leaving him and work on being in his son’s life. He shouldn’t do anything to put her on the defensive, SHE HOLDS ALL THE ACES right now because she has something he wants, she's also got the home court advantage.  . . is it fair on the OP? Of course not but that’s the way it is. So what the OP should focus on right now is look for ways to draw her out of her comfort zone and the only way he can do that is by not attacking i.e bringing cut throat lawyer into instead, he should their families. . .his and hers involved it and come up with an amicable less War of The Roses or Kramer vs Kramer way to handle this situation. 

By the way, everyone on this thread has brought emotions into it. . .

- Those screaming for the woman’s head on a silver platter and have deemed her unfit to raise her child do so not because they know her but because they have put their sons, brother’s  cousins and even themselves in OP’s shoes. 
- Those who believe the husband is not the saint he presents himself because no sane woman will just up and leave her husband without a serious underlining issue. . . have put themselves in the woman’s shoes.

ALL EMOTIONS and this is not necessarily a bad thing, after all we are talking about people here.

I love this

I have to hand it to you - that my dear was AN EXCELLENT RESPONSE.

Logical, ability to see ALL SIDES, truthful

Thank you for your response - VERY, VERY GOOD.

Have you heard the old saying “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”? Well that’s the approach that’s being proposed here. Yeah the OP is hurting, his wife just left. . .he feels betrayed but for the sake of his son, he has to be RATIONAL about this and find a less combative way to handle things. Hiring a lawyer is like using a bazooka to hunt a grasshopper, when all that’s needed is some gentle coaxing and you’ll have it leaping into your hands.

iIs she not going to hire a lawyer to untangle her marriage? Sounds soothing only if the person is not thousands of miles away from you. The woman has the right to walk out of marriage, but does not have the right deny the man access to his.  Most likely, this woman has left him for good. No amount of talking would make her come back because of the distance, environment and her new found MBA. So, cut your losses and focus on finding your son. Maybe she agrees to stay on the ground that you pay for her PhD.


[b]Except the woman is just plain evil (seeking a divorce does not make one evil. . .let’s be clear on that) or the man has not be as good a husband as he’s presented himself,  I doubt she wants do deprive him of his son. I’ll even go as far as saying she probably feels bad for what she’s done/doing and will be willing to work something out.  This is why he needs to put aside the hurt from her leaving him and work on being in his son’s life. He shouldn’t do anything to put her on the defensive, SHE HOLDS ALL THE ACES right now because she has something he wants, she's also got the home court advantage.  . . is it fair on the OP? Of course not but that’s the way it is. So what the OP should focus on right now is look for ways to draw her out of her comfort zone and the only way he can do that is by not attacking i.e bringing cut throat lawyer into instead, he should their families. . .his and hers involved it and come up with an amicable less War of The Roses or Kramer vs Kramer way to handle this situation. [/b]  


The home court advantage is an imagination because the man has more financial resources to be brought to bear. He’s made it clear that he’s over resourced to find his family. Having spent that much money on his estranged wife’s education, it should tell you that he’s well loaded. I see the double standard of judgment here “seeking a divorce is not evil” I agree, but seeking for a child’s custody or visitation right amounts to excessive use of force.  Why can we not see things from the same prism? It’s within the woman’s right to divorce her husband, but her husband has the right to custody or visitation of his son.  Why is going to court to fight for  his child’s custody or visitation cumbersome, resource and time draining; while marriage divorce is not?  Is it possible for her to divorce the man without the son’s future being determined by the court? The court will ask her about this kid and things they share together. The only way this little kid’s future will not be determined by the court is only if she misrepresents the fact his dad is not alive or gained sole court approved custody from Nigeria. She cannot divorce the husband without these questions being raised. So this man needs to be where these decisions are made. It’s a figment of your imagination to think that she has an overwhelming upper hand, because her visa expires in November 2011. What happens after that?

@ Poster

What a rush!! - An overly busy past 2 days - it is 8:40pm in Indiana and 1:40am in Lagos.

I have some information for you and it is detailed and I am just now slowing down enough to even look at it - so I am going to post on Saturday to you - because I haven't had time to review it to format it for you in a legible manner that you can easily follow.

I contacted 4 people who did the research and majority of gathering of information for me (as most time - my time is limited) - 3 have responded to me - as soon as I rest - as I am exhausted - I will put the notes together in a cohesive format and post - so give me until Saturday (tomorrow).

The 4th individual most likely won't provide their information until Monday - but I do have more than enough from the 3 of the 4.

In no way am I suggesting that you choose any route whatsoever - I just want you to have information available that gives you more than one option.

If I were you, I'll wait to hear from the OP again before providing whatever info. For quite some time now he has not been present for us to hear from him again, so, why not wait and hear from him first before you proceed?. . .wel, just saying sha!

Busy_body:

Yes class captain, no I don't want the frogjump as punishment, i pwomise to do as told from henceforth

Sowwy she made me do it

Sowwy for giving you extra work to do Miss, er . . .that didn't come out right. ,  er . . . it should be . . . sowwy for doing your work for you. . . so thats me told off then . . . off I go to sit in the naughty corner as usual

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee . . .

Trust u will neva back down

Ranoscky:

If I were you, I'll wait to hear from the OP again before providing whatever info. For quite some time now he has not been present for us to hear from him again, so, why not wait and hear from him first before you proceed?. . .wel, just saying sha!

Yea, I agree.

@ OP,

If u want the thread cleaned up, just say so.

HELLO ALL THANKS FOR YOUR GOOD REPLY AND HELP HERE, BUT AFTER SOME QUESTIONS AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE GET RIG OF MY BABY PREGNANT.THAT SHE WAS PREGNANT FOR ANOTHER MAN IN USA, HMMMMM DNA Confirmed, After my 12millions on her,
Now I m back to Nigeria and facing the new face of my life, Thanks all again and Bye ,

wow!! what a closure.

mr_chemist:

HELLO ALL THANKS FOR YOUR GOOD REPLY AND HELP HERE, BUT AFTER SOME QUESTIONS AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE GET RIG OF MY BABY PREGNANT.THAT SHE WAS PREGNANT FOR ANOTHER MAN IN USA, HMMMMM DNA Confirmed, After my 12millions on her,
Now I m back to Nigeria and facing the new face of my life, Thanks all again and Bye ,

      that is one hell of a woman if the story is true