Op must have moved on by now, but if you've not, I wonder why.
This life too short for one creature to frustrate your mental health.

Realashbobby:
Dear Nairalander,

How do you cope with your life after your spouse failed you and took the whole matter to the worse level by seeking for divorce?

I woke up everyday of my life in the past nine months thinking about this man. I heard he has moved on in Lagos, while I am still here bothering myself about him. This is the only man I have ever known in my life. He just left without looking back not even to check on his son.
What can I do to forget him totally?

I am down emotionally and it's affecting me.

Kindly advise.

It's not easy though, loneliness kills faster than anything. But, still trying to look for that right woman.

Unclekayfarms:

You're insincere

100 percent she is insincere.

She must have fraustrated the poor guy till he couldn't take it no more

Realashbobby:
Dear Nairalander,

How do you cope with your life after your spouse failed you and took the whole matter to the worse level by seeking for divorce?

I woke up everyday of my life in the past nine months thinking about this man. I heard he has moved on in Lagos, while I am still here bothering myself about him. This is the only man I have ever known in my life. He just left without looking back not even to check on his son.
What can I do to forget him totally?

I am down emotionally and it's affecting me.

Kindly advise.

channel your energy on other things,wakeup,stop pondering on your the past with him just start all over again

God will be with you[/quote]
Chief protocol officer has said it, God will be with you.
Just ask, when is God going to be with you?

Men will always bounce back but women will turn to low key olosho.

Realashbobby:
Dear Nairalander,

How do you cope with your life after your spouse failed you and took the whole matter to the worse level by seeking for divorce?

I woke up everyday of my life in the past nine months thinking about this man. I heard he has moved on in Lagos, while I am still here bothering myself about him. This is the only man I have ever known in my life. He just left without looking back not even to check on his son.
What can I do to forget him totally?

I am down emotionally and it's affecting me.

Kindly advise.

channel your energy on other things,wakeup,stop pondering on the past activities with him just start all over again

Realashbobby:
Dear Nairalander,

How do you cope with your life after your spouse failed you and took the whole matter to the worse level by seeking for divorce?

I woke up everyday of my life in the past nine months thinking about this man. I heard he has moved on in Lagos, while I am still here bothering myself about him. This is the only man I have ever known in my life. He just left without looking back not even to check on his son.
What can I do to forget him totally?

I am down emotionally and it's affecting me.

Kindly advise.

Maybe na your character make him japa.
Anyways, take heart and focus on your goals.

Chiquitq:
I've been there. Not divorced but separated. It's been over 6yrs. It was easy despite that the relationship was extremely toxic. I mourned for the wasted time and abuse tolerated. I was bitter about financial and material things lost in the course of the union. I was distraught by the embarrassments and insults metted out to my family and friends. I relocated to a new city and started totally afresh with my children. Got a job and started a business.
The man that I was married to was the evil of the earth and a fraudster and womanizer. To top it all, he was grossly manipulative. Being extremely manipulative made it hard for me to leave early or even set boundaries thoroughly.

When you say this your husband left suddenly, I believe you totally. He might be a narcissistic. sociopath. That's what he did to all the women he dated during our marriage. Many did not know he was married. He would promise them heaven, use them and disappear suddenly from their lives. Read more about narcissists.

Don't be in a hurry to remarry and if you date again, don't be in a hurry to procreate. I chose celibacy as a means to be totally free and live my best life. I have concluded that all relationships are challenging judging by other people's experiences and mine. On few occasions, one may be lucky but I'm too lazy to and lack motivation to try again. That works for me but it might not work for you.
Find a hobby and most importantly, improve on your finances and network. You would be fine in the end. Many nights, you would have flashbacks of events and be bitter but time would do justice. Try to have as little contact with him as possible. If he wants to speak to his son, doesn't have to be through your phone. Don't allow him to Hoover his way back into your life because he would just hurt you a second time. Stop listening to gist about him. It would help you to move on.

Once relationship or marriage no work for una, the word narcissist go full everywhere.

I’m not saying that your partner wasn’t wrong ooo but why is that?

Well, it usually depends on what led to the divorce and how it ended. I know for a fact that divorce takes time, at least 1-2 years, how you were not able to make amends should be enough for you to move on.

You see, women need to understand that, they are most likely to suffer more when there is a divorce and should try by all means to ensure their marriage works, and it's starts from choosing a very good man as partner.

You have to move on still, find a good hobby that you enjoy, find problems in your life and try to solve them, improve on your finances, join groups and meet people and it will be better with time even if you may not be totally recover depending on your situation.

But you need to tell him to come take care of his son. That is his responsibility! Looks like he's an irresponsible man, because why abandon your child?

Mysteriousworld:

Woman don break my heart before... Never again.. I dont mean to judge, but i realized that lack of submission by women is the problem with most marriages...
They want to eat their cake and still have it...
Just honor him and see him love you.
The bible tells the woman to first submit... Then the man should love... Thats because the love automatically comes when shes submissive ...(exemption of some werey men)

100 💯

Realashbobby:
Dear Nairalander,

How do you cope with your life after your spouse failed you and took the whole matter to the worse level by seeking for divorce?

I woke up everyday of my life in the past nine months thinking about this man. I heard he has moved on in Lagos, while I am still here bothering myself about him. This is the only man I have ever known in my life. He just left without looking back not even to check on his son.
What can I do to forget him totally?

I am down emotionally and it's affecting me.

Kindly advise.

Hummm what has been 4ked can't be un4k. You will always remember him, for good and bad moment you had.


But the divorce, I guess, is good for both parties. He's your addiction and the fastest way to get out of one is to replace with another. Get yourself busy with something else, but once you see the boy everything will flash.

Realashbobby:
Dear Nairalander,

How do you cope with your life after your spouse failed you and took the whole matter to the worse level by seeking for divorce?

I woke up everyday of my life in the past nine months thinking about this man. I heard he has moved on in Lagos, while I am still here bothering myself about him. This is the only man I have ever known in my life. He just left without looking back not even to check on his son.
What can I do to forget him totally?

I am down emotionally and it's affecting me.

Kindly advise.

I understand the pain and emotional breakdown. If one can find it hard to cope with a breakup in the relationship one has invested productive time and resources, how easy will it then be to cope with breakup marriage. I will just advise that you forget him entirely has he has forgotten you. Move on. Don't let your memory of him slow you down. It will be a hard thing to do, but you have to do it. The thought of him will keep messing with your sanity. But you owe yourself the debt of not letting him praise God for taking taking this decision when he sees you later. Make him hate himself and hope in fain to be with you again. The only way you can achieve this is by investing in your personal growth. Don't stop living. Live fine and live well.

Take heart, God is with you.

[b][/b][b]

Dufil:

If you want a different feeling, try a different thing. But be warned about guys or married men, who may use this against you in future. Discreetly have fun and avoid stories about your husband. The way to a woman's heart is her ears. Shut down your ears about things that make you crave for him. Open your ears to something new and you will get over it in the shortest time. I'm based in Ibadan.

You’re based in Ibadan, as joy giver wey you be nah?

Unclekayfarms:

You're insincere

haba nana.

Realashbobby:
Dear Nairalander,

How do you cope with your life after your spouse failed you and took the whole matter to the worse level by seeking for divorce?

I woke up everyday of my life in the past nine months thinking about this man. I heard he has moved on in Lagos, while I am still here bothering myself about him. This is the only man I have ever known in my life. He just left without looking back not even to check on his son.
What can I do to forget him totally?

I am down emotionally and it's affecting me.

Kindly advise.

Where are u based

Unclekayfarms:
Something must have led to the divorce now share it

Can you fix it if she shares it?

Unclekayfarms:
Something must have led to the divorce now share it

you are right for a man to forget his wife and son without asking how they are doing the man most have be seriously heartbroken.

Save up funds and travel , make sure you have a good career or business



When you get there , connect with a yt nigger and hop on his weiner then make cute babies then divorce him and get half of his wealth.


Don't forget to thank me later

Realashbobby:


Financially, I am not missing him the highest I get from him was 25k monthly after we had a son last year. If that is what your dirty mind is thinking.

I am not missing him sexually, it's just that I can't imagine myself getting down with another man.
It's somehow to me. I will rather remain celibate.

U see as a man little things matter to us. Things u women think aren't important are d the things u neglect and don't give serious attention to. For example, i came back from a journey yesterday, my wife didn't cook and was given a complaint that she had a hectic day, i didn't argue. I went out and bought bread, asked her to prepare egg for me, this woman refused, she still gave the same complaint of tireness.
I vexed, so many things going through my mind the whole night. This woman don't give me enough sex, she don't often cook for me, she don't wash my clothes. She practically don't do anything that ll make me to always run to her. Today, if divorce her, do you think i ll look back??
Im not interested in ur story but what am trying to say is, in ur next relationship pay attention to the little things he complaint most.
U have no choice than force ur self to move on, concentrate on ur son and work, try to be in the company of ur family always.
Peace.

Saccharine:
NL is the most toxic place to seek for advise if you're a woman so take everything written here with a pinch of salt

Prepare to be blamed, await the righteous crew, the ashawo crew, the women are evil crew, the 'I'm afraid to marry crew,all women are liars crew, the prayer crew and the fight for your home crew

This is so apt!! To be honest Nairaland has the highest number of foolish people on a forum. I have been on Nairaland for almost 17 years and I saw it descend from an intellectual forum to a cesspool of filth, toxic and extremely foolish forum.

Realashbobby:


Financially, I am not missing him the highest I get from him was 25k monthly after we had a son last year. If that is what your dirty mind is thinking.

I am not missing him sexually, it's just that I can't imagine myself getting down with another man.
It's somehow to me. I will rather remain celibate.

shebi we told u that time that u made a very grave mistake by arresting your brother in law, many mugus told u to leave the marriage n face your career

Oya continue facing your career now

IamRichards:
I can't wait.

As if you are in the position to fix anything there

Shm..m

I blame those bringing their personal life issues to online that is flooded with underage

Saccharine:
NL is the most toxic place to seek for advise if you're a woman so take everything written here with a pinch of salt

Prepare to be blamed, await the righteous crew, the ashawo crew, the women are evil crew, the 'I'm afraid to marry crew,all women are liars crew, the prayer crew and the fight for your home crew

Which of the crews do you belong.

Actually, God hates divorce. This is why God wants you to be led on whom to marry, any pastor teaching that after Adam accused God of the woman he gave him leading to his fall that God has since stop giving wives that it's now whosoever finds a wife" trash and fake.

If you need to hear God in 5yrs on the choice of your spouse, wait till then, the choice of your spouse determines the quality of your life here on earth and 98% will determine your eternal destination.

On the issue on how you move on after divorce: I'll give you a guideline once I see the chronicles that led to the sudden divorce and the man not taking care of his son. It's the highest level of irresponsibility to not take care of your children even though you're divorced.

Young brothers and sisters yet to marry, don't look at beauty and finance, if you need to fast for days to secure the voice of God pls do. I was led of the Holy Spirit to marry my wife, I was led in my heart, The Holy spirit had a conversation with my spirit and I heard it in my heart not ear okay? Today, people think she's my younger sister. It's heaven on earth since day1, she submitted her salary to my hand while was was on a paid job, I bless it and hand it over to her again, sometimes I took 1-3k and usually I feel very shy this is as a result of thorough Sunday school teaching. I am not telling you to submit your salary to a gambler, womaniser, scammer or a trick star, no! Wisdom is profitable to direct.

akaahs:

U see as a man little things matter to us. Things u women think aren't important are d the things u neglect and don't give serious attention to. For example, i came back from a journey yesterday, my wife didn't cook and was given a complaint that she had a hectic day, i didn't argue. I went out and bought bread, asked her to prepare egg for me, this woman refused, she still gave the same complaint of tireness.
I vexed, so many things going through my mind the whole night. This woman don't give me enough sex, she don't often cook for me, she don't wash my clothes. She practically don't do anything that ll make me to always run to her. Today, if divorce her, do you think i ll look back??
Im not interested in ur story but what am trying to say is, in ur next relationship pay attention to the little things he complaint most.
U have no choice than force ur self to move on, concentrate on ur son and work, try to be in the company of ur family always.
Peace.

You don't need a wife, what you need is a house girl.

Realashbobby:
Dear Nairalander,

How do you cope with your life after your spouse failed you and took the whole matter to the worse level by seeking for divorce?

I woke up everyday of my life in the past nine months thinking about this man. I heard he has moved on in Lagos, while I am still here bothering myself about him. This is the only man I have ever known in my life. He just left without looking back not even to check on his son.
What can I do to forget him totally?

I am down emotionally and it's affecting me.

Kindly advise.

As long as their is a child linking you too up, you won't forget him. But you can move on, even without a child, no one forgets the other person. Just move on and feel less guilty even if you are the one at fault.

Nisland:
Haaaaa you remember me again.my wife dirvoice me 9 years ago.and am still single till now but this year am just getting back to myself and for another spouse.its not easy my brother I face so many chanlleng.

I feel your pain. I understand you perfectly. It's not easy moving on.

Find a young chick that'll help you cope...but don't wife her o

Find another man to help you forget

Chiquitq:
I've been there. Not divorced but separated. It's been over 6yrs. It was easy despite that the relationship was extremely toxic. I mourned for the wasted time and abuse tolerated. I was bitter about financial and material things lost in the course of the union. I was distraught by the embarrassments and insults metted out to my family and friends. I relocated to a new city and started totally afresh with my children. Got a job and started a business.
The man that I was married to was the evil of the earth and a fraudster and womanizer. To top it all, he was grossly manipulative. Being extremely manipulative made it hard for me to leave early or even set boundaries thoroughly.

When you say this your husband left suddenly, I believe you totally. He might be a narcissistic. sociopath. That's what he did to all the women he dated during our marriage. Many did not know he was married. He would promise them heaven, use them and disappear suddenly from their lives. Read more about narcissists.

Don't be in a hurry to remarry and if you date again, don't be in a hurry to procreate. I chose celibacy as a means to be totally free and live my best life. I have concluded that all relationships are challenging judging by other people's experiences and mine. On few occasions, one may be lucky but I'm too lazy to and lack motivation to try again. That works for me but it might not work for you.
Find a hobby and most importantly, improve on your finances and network. You would be fine in the end. Many nights, you would have flashbacks of events and be bitter but time would do justice. Try to have as little contact with him as possible. If he wants to speak to his son, doesn't have to be through your phone. Don't allow him to Hoover his way back into your life because he would just hurt you a second time. Stop listening to gist about him. It would help you to move on.

How old are you

You want to maintain celibacy .....no sexual urge?

kaymart:

100 percent she is insincere.

She must have fraustrated the poor guy till he couldn't take it no more

they realize their mistakes when it's already late.