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Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? - Romance (8) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by chris51(f): 7:12am On Jun 08, 2021
What you should look out for in a man is, that he has potential. I don't think your mother said, look for a poor man and marry. She didn't want you to fall into the trap of money bags who have no regard for wives and in-laws
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Blacksavage: 7:21am On Jun 08, 2021
omolola100:
My mother advice me never to look for a rich man who is well do whenever i'm set to get married.
she said i should marry a man that we will both start our life from the foundation, according to my mum, she said it is better to suffer with man to acquire wealth, than to go for a ready made soup.

Looking at the way things are going now, do you think a woman will now stoop so low and marry a poor man that is trying to make ends meet? Although, money is not love, but why would a parent wish her daughter to marry a poor man, i am begining to see my mum as a bad mother who does'nt wish me well.
Is it advisable i follow my mothers advice? I should stay in SURULERE instead of OLORUNSOGO.

Omolola mi
grin grin
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by jamesfield: 7:30am On Jun 08, 2021
shocked
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by jmichael259(m): 7:32am On Jun 08, 2021
omolola100:
My mother advice me never to look for a rich man who is well do whenever i'm set to get married.
she said i should marry a man that we will both start our life from the foundation, according to my mum, she said it is better to suffer with man to acquire wealth, than to go for a ready made soup.

Looking at the way things are going now, do you think a woman will now stoop so low and marry a poor man that is trying to make ends meet? Although, money is not love, but why would a parent wish her daughter to marry a poor man, i am begining to see my mum as a bad mother who does'nt wish me well.
Is it advisable i follow my mothers advice? I should stay in SURULERE instead of OLORUNSOGO.



It's either you didn't understand your mother's words or she didn't explain it properly.
From the tone of this writeup, I'll say the fault is all yours. angry
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Bordrich7(m): 7:40am On Jun 08, 2021
Since you know money is not love and you ain't after money, den what's ur problem ���
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by erinatso: 7:45am On Jun 08, 2021
Came4amod:


Lol I hope u now have a phone. .. this is a very very poor judgement.. not every mother loves her child .. some mothers don’t even know what love is .. because they never experienced it .. and you can’t give what you don’t have ..
biko dont use ur confusion to confuse my confusion mbok
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Erojepromise(f): 7:59am On Jun 08, 2021
Asides the guy ticking all my boxes , he has to be averagely rich or rich , our kids cannot come to this life suffer and live poorly throughout their lives . Moreover if a poor guy with no achievement whatsoever decides to marry it only means he is unambitious and will likely be poor forever because basically you need funds to live and marriage is no different , money is definitely needed to sustain marriage forget love or no love . If

1 Like

Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by LoveThemChubby(m): 8:10am On Jun 08, 2021
Stoop ke? You can only talk of stooping if you are from a wealthy family. You are not stooping low if you are poor and marrying someone poor because you two are on the same level. Besides you don't call someone poor if you are also poor
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Nobody: 8:24am On Jun 08, 2021
omolola100:


i am not a comfortable woman, that is why i dont feel it is right to marry a struggling man, i am not after money anyway..

Your mumu no get level. You don't need marriage now, please go ahead and work for yourself.
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by mapet: 8:29am On Jun 08, 2021
omolola100:
My mother advice me never to look for a rich man who is well do whenever i'm set to get married.
she said i should marry a man that we will both start our life from the foundation, according to my mum, she said it is better to suffer with man to acquire wealth, than to go for a ready made soup.

Looking at the way things are going now, do you think a woman will now stoop so low and marry a poor man that is trying to make ends meet? Although, money is not love, but why would a parent wish her daughter to marry a poor man, i am begining to see my mum as a bad mother who does'nt wish me well.
Is it advisable i follow my mothers advice? I should stay in SURULERE instead of OLORUNSOGO.

1. Stoop so low? Bad mother? what a ridiculous conclusion and entitlement mentality! On what basis do you think you deserve a rich man? Do you think it is by right?
2. You're a Yoruba girl I believe, your mother is speaking in context. She is not telling to marry a poor man. She is telling you to build your future together with a man from an humble beginning. She's advising you to be involved in the foundation of the home and family you want to be part of. She is advising you on issues along sharing burdens, pains and glory.
3. The other thing is that there are consequences/trade-offs with choices. Many people who marry into rich or already made family have tales, some sad, some of regret that money cannot wipe away.
4. The most important thing lies with you. Why don't you concentrate on carefully and prayerfully making the right choice "rich"-or-"poor"

1 Like

Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by mapet: 8:30am On Jun 08, 2021
NeeKlaus:

So you feel you are stooping low to marry a struggling man but you don't think a rich man is stooping low to marry you, yes?

A broke woman marrying a very wealthy man = "She's securing the bag. Yassss Queen!"
A comfortable woman marrying a struggling guy = "She's stooping soooo low. Ewww!"

The standards are double these days.

Great submission
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by mapet: 8:31am On Jun 08, 2021
emorse:

If you were a rich man, would you marry this present you?

I wouldn't
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by mapet: 8:33am On Jun 08, 2021
omolola100:


i am not a comfortable woman, that is why i dont feel it is right to marry a struggling man, i am not after money anyway..

This line up here strongly suggests you're after money
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by HISSCRIBE1995: 8:34am On Jun 08, 2021
omolola100:
My mother advice me never to look for a rich man who is well do whenever i'm set to get married.
she said i should marry a man that we will both start our life from the foundation, according to my mum, she said it is better to suffer with man to acquire wealth, than to go for a ready made soup.

Looking at the way things are going now, do you think a woman will now stoop so low and marry a poor man that is trying to make ends meet? Although, money is not love, but why would a parent wish her daughter to marry a poor man, i am begining to see my mum as a bad mother who does'nt wish me well.
Is it advisable i follow my mothers advice? I should stay in SURULERE instead of OLORUNSOGO.


The issue is not a rich man or poor man, but a man who will be an instrumentality in helping you fulfill what God destined you to be.

What if you Marry a poor man, struggle with him, became successful - he then abandoned you for another woman?

Haven't you heard of such stories where the wife help the husband to success only for him to abandon her?

So the issue is marrying who God destined for you wether he be rich or poor, and not who some someone thinks you should marry.

Your mother's destiny is different from yours, and your mother's experience might be different from yours at the end

Think from the two edge of the stick then break it at the middle before your make your choice
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by alizma: 9:02am On Jun 08, 2021
omolola100:
My mother advice me never to look for a rich man who is well do whenever i'm set to get married.
she said i should marry a man that we will both start our life from the foundation, according to my mum, she said it is better to suffer with man to acquire wealth, than to go for a ready made soup.

Looking at the way things are going now, do you think a woman will now stoop so low and marry a poor man that is trying to make ends meet? Although, money is not love, but why would a parent wish her daughter to marry a poor man, i am begining to see my mum as a bad mother who does'nt wish me well.
Is it advisable i follow my mothers advice? I should stay in SURULERE instead of OLORUNSOGO.
Since you have concluded that she doesn't want something good for you, please follow your own heart.
Eleriburuku, you called marrying a man who is not yet made an act of stopping so low, please how much is in your account, what do you do for a living, if you re not so poor both mentally and materially, would you be looking for a man to depending on?
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by YESpParticipant: 9:07am On Jun 08, 2021
Crude oil dey your head!

Amotolongbo:
If you are already high, you don’t need a man then.

If the men have this mentality of yours, they won’t marry ladies lower than their status.

Your mother made the right statement but you didn’t get the message. She said don’t marry a rich man, she didn’t say marry a poor man. You have run foul of false dilemma, making just only an option to counter your mum’s advice ie any man not rich is poor.

There are men with no material now cos they are currently investing their mental resources to create wealth in the future. Men with potentials, these are kinda men your mum is telling you to marry.
Adding your potential value to compliment these kind of resourceful men to create wealth will earn you a maximum eternal matrimonial respect
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Goalnaldo(m): 9:12am On Jun 08, 2021
emmaodet:


Bro, why do i think you are kind of pacifying her to marry a man with potential.
Women are not doing any man a favour by sticking with them. If they like make them marry or not, men won't die and life will move on.
Only if you know that most men are also enduring them.
Hardly will you see a nigerian relationship that is balanced.
It is all about what they can gain from men.
Most of the relationship have ever been were a waste of time and resources. I don't fancy it anymore.
How will you date a woman for 3,6 months or a year without nothing to show for it.
You look back, no boxers, no wrist watch, no singlet or wears, sneakers etc NOTHING!!!! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!! and you think i will be proud of such person? Someone i can remember with anything, no hosting me on outing or pool or cinema etc
It is very very very boring.
Love should be give and take.
If you are too broke to buy things for your bf in a relationship, then am sorry you have a misplaced priority.
What you need as a woman then is a job and not a relationship.
you are right sir. Hope you have not swallowed the redpill? grin
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by westerner147: 9:21am On Jun 08, 2021
Onyi22:
What kind of bad advice will a mother give to her child? R u sure she is your biological mother?
No mother will love to be alive n see her daughter(s) suffer to feed in marriage with a poor broke frustrated guy all in the name of tomorrow will be better.
My sister if you see a rich wealthy man, who is ready to marry you, my dear follow him sharp Sharp..
Forget all this old story you mom is telling you, the world is turning, and marriage is sweeter when there is Money, I mean Real Money.
My sister, come close let me pray for you,.
Put your right hand on your head and repeat after me...
Say!! oh God my father,
I reject any poor Man in my life..
I will not toil to feed in my Marriage..
In Jesus name, Amen

Funny you
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by mayberry1(f): 9:38am On Jun 08, 2021
emmaodet:


You came on so hard on my gender - Sorry just have to express my mind.It is a common trend in nigeria we have to frown at so that the coming generation will be better than us relationship wise.

Mistake most parents make is focusing on the male child to be independent and self reliant while lowering the bar for the female child - Yes, i agree. It was a flaw in the traditional settings of our parent and fore-fathers. Then, it worked and nice but i think it is not advisable to be used in this century. Alot as changed relationship wise.
Then, men were allowed to go work or school so that they will come back home and pick their wives so as to continue the tradition and culture but not anymore. More and more women are educated, working. Therefore more is expected of the in all facet of life including relationship.

I believe as an individual(s/he), your goal should be how to be independent in life - That is right, i agree with you though it has it's own draw back like every other thing in life.

I for one cringe whenever I hear ladies wishing hard to marry a rich man like money is gender based(there's nothing as sweet as working hard for your money). - Though, i don't blame them. To be honest, it is very very hard to make money. Life in general is not easy so it is not unusual to see women praying and hoping to use relationship/marriage as a poverty alleviation scheme.

People forget the law of reciprocity when it comes to good deeds, lots of women want to enjoy being showered with gifts and all the good things of life thereby forgetting to reciprocate quarter of what they get, I believe that stems from the environment they were raised, lots of folks are self-centred and only care about themselves. It all boils down to orientation and upbringing . Nobody deserves a tight-fisted, self-centred egocentric partner - Again, i agree with you. Tbh, i usually lose interest in most ladies after having sex with them because after the sex, there is virtually nothing left to keep the relationship running. Gifts are major energy fueling relationships.
After sex, the reason why most ladies still keep being in the relationship is the regular fuel added to the relationship so as to keep the fire burning - occasional recharge cards for credit or data, clothes, shoes, wrist watch, outings to clubs or Mr Biggs, a clear path from the guy analysing there future to a comfortable life so as not to surfer(all these are incentives on the woman to keep running a relationship), helping in school fees or house rent, placing gf on allowance if it is a buoyant bf etc. The list are many.
Most women have good reasons to be in a relationship but hardly do men, reason after sex most guy start acting funny.
Believe me, most guys will be put on check or scared of losing their gfs/wives if the incentives to be faithful or serious is high enough.
An average guy marrying a governor's daughter, whom the governor gave a better job or good contract business, connections, who knows when the governor dies is wife will get a large lump sum with many properties will highly behave himself unless something is wrong upstairs with him.
Most men don't have any incentives to be faithful at allllllllll.
Let me stop here, bye.


You made some valid points but I beg to differ on some;
What's your yardstick for going into a relationship with the opposite sex, that would define if it's going to be meaningful or not. I'd use myself as an example, the least thing that'll make me date a man is his looks or how buoyant he is. If a man is intellectually and morally bankrupt, bereft of principles in life then it's a 'no' for me because I can't date a man who's not on same page with me.
I will admonish men to look beyond beauty and focus on important things when searching for a partner.
You mentioned men dating governors daughters and be of best behaviour cause of what they stand to lose if they act otherwise...lol, you haven't seen men who do and jeopardise everything still.
Anything built on material benefits will never stand the test of time when life happens to one person(life will always happen to us in different ways). So try not to lower the bar when getting into a relationship, there are intelligent women who would help you grow in all facets of your existence, they are out there you just haven't looked within.
Bye too....lol
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Magnoliaa(f): 9:38am On Jun 08, 2021
omolola100:
My mother advice me never to look for a rich man who is well do whenever i'm set to get married.
she said i should marry a man that we will both start our life from the foundation, according to my mum, she said it is better to suffer with man to acquire wealth, than to go for a ready made soup.

Looking at the way things are going now, do you think a woman will now stoop so low and marry a poor man that is trying to make ends meet? Although, money is not love, but why would a parent wish her daughter to marry a poor man, i am begining to see my mum as a bad mother who does'nt wish me well.
Is it advisable i follow my mothers advice? I should stay in SURULERE instead of OLORUNSOGO.

This feels like a bait post, but if it'll bring them mail tears (which I suspect it will), I'm all for it!
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Nlanalyst: 9:39am On Jun 08, 2021
Magnoliaa:


This feels like a bait post, but if it'll bring them mail tears (which I suspect it will), I'm all for it!
Male you mean?
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Magnoliaa(f): 9:44am On Jun 08, 2021
omolola100:


i never said he wouldnt been great, i have'nt even introduce anyone to my mum as my fiance, i believe the longest journey in lyf begin with a step.

That's right.

Don't mind the small boys tryna shame you. Embrace your hypergamic nature and choose the best. That's what they'll do too if they had the money. Na painment.
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Magnoliaa(f): 9:46am On Jun 08, 2021
Ninejaywon:
Not surprised one bit. That is the mindset of an average Nigerian girl. They just want them already made. cheesy

Like. So? undecided
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Magnoliaa(f): 9:49am On Jun 08, 2021
mrblessed:
I think you should be applauded for the courage to air your innate desire, which is clearly what an average Nigerian girl wishes, even though you tried unsuccessfully to modify it order to you make appear reasonable.

Exactly. She shouldn't have tried to pander or mask anything. And you're right. She's expressing all our wishes (abeg, leave me if you are not average and it doesn't apply to you). If men can boldly and shamelessly say they want virgins, why not women wanting rich men?
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Magnoliaa(f): 9:52am On Jun 08, 2021
this is what all women say but we understand grin

You don't understand shit. Not all women, at least not me. I want the money, I want the money, I want the money and I'm not gonna "cover mouth" to say that. That's all I'm after and all I'm in relationships for. Finish.

1 Like

Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Magnoliaa(f): 10:04am On Jun 08, 2021
Tony142:




By the time your mother get to old age and u are unable to take good care of her, and she ask u, why are u not sending me money, tell her that the poor man she ask u to marry have not even being able to take care of you not to talk of you having money to send her cheesy




Your mother says that if u want to have peace of mind u should marry a struggling man, that means she is indirectly saying that All poor men gives women peace of mind, while All rich men treat women like trash? That is a wrong generalization



So, never see poor man when dey beat woman abi? There is one poor man close to my house na almost everyday he dey beat his wife, so saying all struggling men give their wife peace of mind is not true



Seeing a rich man to marry is hard, but If u see a rich man that respect you for who you are, marry him


rich guys are few, the probability of u marry a rich guy is very slim, but if u did not see a rich guy u can still marry a man that is comfortable, even if he is not rich atleast he can take good care of a family and support him to grow




Before I go, let me let you know this



The reason your mother marry your father is not because of love, but because she have no other options, if your mother was able to see a rich man to marry when she was dating your father, trust me she for dump your father for the rich man lipsrsealed

Wowww. Are you a man?? ?? ?? And it seems you're a follower sef. Kaiiiiii. I don't think that's coincidental, but this comment is tooo much!!!! I wanna like it a million times.

"Everything is not about money bleh bleh bleh." What exactly do they want women to marry "poor men" for if they say true love isn't real? These people are fking hypocrites and I've learnt that they are cool with some things if it's coming from their mouths. The moment a woman accept their narration, take it in and turn around to say if for herself, they start foaming from their mouths.

These people have said women don't love; even men don't love (as per the logical creatures); I know so many redpillers that have told me that marriage is a business contract to them and that love is a scam and allllll sorts. So if love isn't real, what exactly is the blackmail and tears for? If poor man na rich man no fit love, why not a calculative woman go for the best option that'll bring her more advantages in a business deal??

Clowns shooting themselves in the foot.

iLegendd:
So, no one will marry poor people like us? #Tears

The same way nobody is going to marry us non-virgins. Abi? cry Let's just make the best of our situations. Teinz.
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by kissdreyalltime: 10:11am On Jun 08, 2021
Please, what’s your definition of poor man??
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Gerrard59(m): 10:13am On Jun 08, 2021
NeeKlaus:

So you feel you are stooping low to marry a struggling man but you don't think a rich man is stooping low to marry you, yes?

A broke woman marrying a very wealthy man = "She's securing the bag. Yassss Queen!"
A comfortable woman marrying a struggling guy = "She's stooping soooo low. Ewww!"

The standards are double these days.

1 Like

Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Magnoliaa(f): 10:16am On Jun 08, 2021
Volkswagen90:
gone are the days wey rich man dey marry broke lady,

You think a rich man of all people is looking for a woman that has money like he does? grin grin For what exactly? If anything, money is down the list of their criteria.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Georgejeez: 10:32am On Jun 08, 2021
franklingud:
Question is: How many years old are you?
Are you getting younger or older by the minute? Time is of the essence!
Ogheneme !!! See question,how many years old are you? grin grin grin grin i go leave this Nairaland for Una o
Re: Should I Follow My Mother's Advice? by Magnoliaa(f): 10:48am On Jun 08, 2021
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thisdaylive.com/index.php/2021/03/05/leemon-ikpea-how-a-husband-made-peace-with-an-acrimonious-wife/amp/

https://www.google.com/amp/s/theinfong.com/2021/03/nigerian-billionaire-sends-wife-of-39-years-packing-after-mistress-tells-him-to-do-so-photos/amp/

Yes. I finally found this story. And I think it'll interest some particular users here. cheesy

cc: Twoclans - look at the side chick angle.
Mr. NiRFreak - you say you wanna marry an uneducated woman? Well that's one for you. Good luck in the compatibility.
And my dear Omolola100 - that's a woman that started from the bottom with a man, only to end up being thrown out of her matrimonial home after 39 years of marriage. With nothing to show for it. Stories like that abound.

After reading this, do whatever you feel is good for you.

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