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Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable - Romance (6) - Nairaland

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(part Two) Traits A WOMAN Should Observe In A MAN When Considering Commitment / I Do Not Want To Break Her Heart But I Am Not Financially Ready / 'There Is No Financially Stable Man In His 20's" - Nigerian Man Tell Ladies (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by aribisala0(m): 9:49pm On Jul 07
mofedamijo:


I am not talking about a person changing. Even kids change. Humans change. My point is, when you notice something before marriage, try to correct it pull out.

By the way, the topic is about getting married and not marriage. Won't you date before marrying.....

And for the record, I spoke about my opinion and experience. I will choose wisely.

Take care.
I am talking about a person changing
If you have ever been married you will know tha people change in marriage and many things will be hidden,
There is no wisdom to unveil many things that women hide ,
The topic is about marriage . What is "getting married"

1 Like

Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by rosalieene(f): 9:51pm On Jul 07
folks4luv:
This is the worst marital advice i have seen in a very long time. What has been a virgin/or not have to do with this? You have never seen a materialistic or lousy virgin before? How does this kinda advice even make sense?
Just leave this one to be talking in the rubbish.
How can a grown adult be talking off point.
You can just imagine his level of itiboribo.
Virgin ko
Virginia ni

1 Like

Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by TheWrita(m): 9:52pm On Jul 07
ogashman:
Op


What if you are approaching your fifties and still have not made that money, so u die a single man?
Yes

1 Like

Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by CsRockefeller(m): 9:54pm On Jul 07
IgweOfNnewi:
Same old story? that means something isn't right. you didn't manage your home well. you don't command respect with money alone, what of the spiritual guidance and wisdom aspect.

You are empty.
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by mofedamijo(m): 9:55pm On Jul 07
aribisala0:

I am talking about a person changing
If you have ever been married you will know tha people change in marriage and many things will be hidden,
There is no wisdom to unveil many things that women hide ,
The topic is about marriage . What is "getting married"


I have decided to chose wisely. My father, grand father have also advised same.

I Mofe will chose wisely by Gods grace. You can chose whichever way you want.

Goodbye.
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by Vinnie2000(m): 9:55pm On Jul 07
obembet:
Nonsense

Op! And all those of you that aggreed with him, u beta think twice. That Linda said and later have baby.

Is it when you are 50s u will settle down and train your children at old age?



Marriage open doors. Just marry the right woman


@Obembet..
Marriage open doors?? sad
Really??
Dat happens rarely..Based on Luck!!

Please, Every Guy Should have a STABLE SOURCE of income B4 thinking about marriage..

I have witnessed the Case of two Private school teachers who got married..They were receiving N10000..
The end of d union was TRAGIC!! (I don't want to tell you d sad story) cry

Also a Roadside Artisan married a private school teacher..She was receiving N12000. Dier marriage also ended on a Sorrowful Note.. embarassed embarassed

Money is Too Important in Marriage!!
You Have to Plan oo!!

Even as a Jambito, you Save some money B4 going to school..
Same as NYSC Camp, You save Money B4 going..
Let Alone, MARRIAGE?? shocked sad

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by Kokaine(m): 9:59pm On Jul 07
Rapmoney:
As a young man, DO NOT let anyone, whether married or not to deceive you that money does not matter in marriage. The truth is that money solves more than half of the problems in marriage, especially in a Nigerian society.

This does not mean that you must be a millionaire or be rolling in money, but have the financial capacity to provide the basic things humans need for living, and luxuries inclusive.

Any home you enter where the man commands maximum respect, observe closely, he is living up to his responsibilities as a man. There is no respect from any woman for that man who cannot provide the basic necessities. Don't let anyone deceive you. That girl that tells you today that she will run any length for you will turn to a tigress tomorrow in marriage if the major finance comes from her.

If you would be respected, make sure you have a source of income that brings a substantial amount that can provide basic necessities and at least, modest luxuries.
If you have a serious dream and you are already working towards it, then trust God and marry. Your kids would join you in that thing and the family will be great and strong. What matters is a woman that can understand you.
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by aribisala0(m): 9:59pm On Jul 07
mofedamijo:


I have decided to chose wisely. My father, grand father have also advised same.

I Mofe will chose wisely by Gods grace. You can chose whichever way you want.

Goodbye.
It is easier said than done . It is only when you have married and done that that we will know how easy it is for you

1 Like

Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by Rubbiish(m): 10:01pm On Jul 07
bukatyne:


Let me humor you this once on this topic and make a lengthy post with an introduction for Wikipedia:

[b]Contentment is an emotional state of satisfaction that can be seen as a mental state, maybe drawn from being at ease in one's situation, body and mind. Colloquially speaking, contentment could be a state of having accepted one's situation and is a milder and more tentative form of happiness.

Ewo! bukatyne!
U don go bring plenty write up come cheesy
U like argument.... wink
Person no dey win u lol
I miss those days in family section sha...
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by angelfallz(m): 10:02pm On Jul 07
Wow you went all out

bukatyne:


Let me humor you this once on this topic and make a lengthy post with an introduction for Wikipedia:

[b]Contentment is an emotional state of satisfaction that can be seen as a mental state, maybe drawn from being at ease in one's situation, body and mind. Colloquially speaking, contentment could be a state of having accepted one's situation and is a milder and more tentative form of happiness.

Contentment and the pursuit of contentment are possibly a central thread through many philosophical or religious schools across diverse cultures, times and geographies. Siddharta might have said "Health is the most precious gain and contentment the greatest wealth". John Stuart Mill, centuries later, would write "I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them." Marcus Aurelius wrote "Live with the gods. And he who does so constantly shows them that his soul is satisfied with what is assigned to them." Hebrews 13:5 reads "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" Chinese philosopher Zhuang Zhou once wrote in the 3rd century BCE (hypothetically) "A gentleman who profoundly penetrates all things and is in harmony with their transformations will be contented with whatever time may bring. He follows the course of nature in whatever situation he may be. [/b]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contentment

Do you see a central theme that contentment is a present state, not a futuristic state in light of achieving what you want. You can be content with N5 and become discontent when you have N500.

According to Kofa Study, there are five attributes of contentment:
1. Satisfaction
2. Lack of envy
3. Humility
4. Discipline/ self-control
5. Hatred for greed and corruption.

I would leave you with this poem by John Bunyan (especially the 2nd stanza):
He that is down needs fear no fall,
He that is low no pride;
He that is humble ever shall
Have God to be his guide.

I am content with what I have,
Little be it or much;
And, Lord, contentment still I crave
Because Thou savest such.

Fulness to such a burden is
That go in pilgrimage;
Here little and hereafter bliss
Is best from all to age.



Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by duality(m): 10:03pm On Jul 07
Rapmoney:
As a young man, DO NOT let anyone, whether married or not to deceive you that money does not matter in marriage. The truth is that money solves more than half of the problems in marriage, especially in a Nigerian society.

This does not mean that you must be a millionaire or be rolling in money, but have the financial capacity to provide the basic things humans need for living, and luxuries inclusive.

Any home you enter where the man commands maximum respect, observe closely, he is living up to his responsibilities as a man. There is no respect from any woman for that man who cannot provide the basic necessities. Don't let anyone deceive you. That girl that tells you today that she will run any length for you will turn to a tigress tomorrow in marriage if the major finance comes from her.

If you would be respected, make sure you have a source of income that brings a substantial amount that can provide basic necessities and at least, modest luxuries.


So what's the woman coming to do in the marriage? Unless she's not different from the furniture she met in the house
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by mofedamijo(m): 10:03pm On Jul 07
aribisala0:
It is easier said than done . It is only when you have married and done that that we will know how easy it is for you
That is your opinion.

I have made my decision. So help me God.
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by bukatyne(f): 10:06pm On Jul 07
Rubbiish:

Ewo! bukatyne!
U don go bring plenty write up come cheesy
U like argument.... wink
Person no dey win u lol
I miss those days in family section sha...

*Come closer....*

What was/is your old moniker? grin

I don't like argument; I am passionate about what I know cheesy

angelfallz:
Wow you went all out

cheesy
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by Speaktruth88: 10:06pm On Jul 07
ogashman:
Op


What if you are approaching your fifties and still have not made that money, so u die a single man?

Find a good wife. Find a good wife. Find a good wife. Nigerian men too dey use wrong brain find wife. Nothing stopping a man finding a good hard working woman and building together. If you meet a better woman in secondary school (like me) you work together to bring about your dreams. Forget all this olosho movement na distraction. Respect your family
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by Akuruoulo(m): 10:09pm On Jul 07
vickydankal:
Truth be told we love our me to be up and doing. We can cover up here and there for few years but when the man decide to leave the providence for us, we tend to become tensed. We are coming to help not to carry the burden. We can hide the fact that we are the ones doing most of the financial needs but of course certain level of money can not be hidden.

For struggling men, my advice don't get married yet and if you must forget childbearing for a year or 2. The insult, humiliation, embarrassment may not come from the wife, it may be from in-laws, neighbors and family members.

4 keys to solve half of the marital issues
1. Money
2. More money
3. Increase the more money
4. Make more money with the increased money


Pampers, rent, dstv, repairs, upkeep, clothing, health, food, as the essential before talking of pleasures like outing, a local government worker with steady salary can't handle those not to talk of vacation and luxury.

It's not easy on our men oooo seriously, I didn't know what my daddy past through until 1 year of marriage. No body will blame the ladies but the men for lack in the house no matter whose fault it is. Men are expected to do everything but it's not fair nah. You go kill your man if you leave the whole burden to him oooo.

Live at a cheaper place
Marry a manager
Both hands (husband and wife) should have milt steams of income
Start small with the must basic things in the home (na so me and oga start ooo, almost with nothing but story don change small) though give the opportunity I won't try it again, who suffer help abeg.


May God favor and have mercy on our hard working men.










U ARE A TRUE WOMAN

3 Likes

Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by aribisala0(m): 10:10pm On Jul 07
mofedamijo:

That is your opinion.

I have made my decision. So help me God.
Everything I say is my opinion not yours and vice versa
Good aspiration but reality for those who have experience of marriage is there is nothing like choosing wisely because it is only after marriage that you will see the real person


.
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by kennyz247(m): 10:20pm On Jul 07
larryking540:
no amount is too small or too big to marry ,all that matters lies on the man and the woman

1 ,if he is a hustler ,he will definitely make it quickly
2,if the woman is also a motivator ,the family will make it faster ,not the one that waits for validation on social media o
life doesn't work dat way..,only God knows how many hustler don die hustling ....
get something good before going into marriage otherwise dat your motivational wife go turn to commando for ur eye
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by mofedamijo(m): 10:22pm On Jul 07
aribisala0:
Everything I say is my opinion not yours and vice versa
Good aspiration but reality for those who have experience of marriage is there is nothing like choosing wisely because it is only after marriage that you will see the real person


.

My parents chose wisely, my grandparents did, my great grand parents did. I will chose wisely by Gods grace.

Bye
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by aribisala0(m): 10:25pm On Jul 07
mofedamijo:


My parents chose wisely, my grandparents did, my great grand parents did. I will chose wisely by Gods grace.

Bye

There is no wisdom in choosing a wife grin
just luck


Goodbye

1 Like

Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by EdinRajah: 10:29pm On Jul 07
; Nice one
Rapmoney:
As a young man, DO NOT let anyone, whether married or not to deceive you that money does not matter in marriage. The truth is that money solves more than half of the problems in marriage, especially in a Nigerian society.

This does not mean that you must be a millionaire or be rolling in money, but have the financial capacity to provide the basic things humans need for living, and luxuries inclusive.

Any home you enter where the man commands maximum respect, observe closely, he is living up to his responsibilities as a man. There is no respect from any woman for that man who cannot provide the basic necessities. Don't let anyone deceive you. That girl that tells you today that she will run any length for you will turn to a tigress tomorrow in marriage if the major finance comes from her.

If you would be respected, make sure you have a source of income that brings a substantial amount that can provide basic necessities and at least, modest luxuries.

2 Likes

Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by JohnOkolo: 10:31pm On Jul 07
vickydankal:
Truth be told we love our me to be up and doing. We can cover up here and there for few years but when the man decide to leave the providence for us, we tend to become tensed. We are coming to help not to carry the burden. We can hide the fact that we are the ones doing most of the financial needs but of course certain level of money can not be hidden.

For struggling men, my advice don't get married yet and if you must forget childbearing for a year or 2. The insult, humiliation, embarrassment may not come from the wife, it may be from in-laws, neighbors and family members.

4 keys to solve half of the marital issues
1. Money
2. More money
3. Increase the more money
4. Make more money with the increased money


Pampers, rent, dstv, repairs, upkeep, clothing, health, food, as the essential before talking of pleasures like outing, a local government worker with steady salary can't handle those not to talk of vacation and luxury.

It's not easy on our men oooo seriously, I didn't know what my daddy past through until 1 year of marriage. No body will blame the ladies but the men for lack in the house no matter whose fault it is. Men are expected to do everything but it's not fair nah. You go kill your man if you leave the whole burden to him oooo.

Live at a cheaper place
Marry a manager
Both hands (husband and wife) should have milt steams of income
Start small with the must basic things in the home (na so me and oga start ooo, almost with nothing but story don change small) though give the opportunity I won't try it again, who suffer help abeg.


May God favor and have mercy on our hard working men.



Ohh Gush I do much love your sincerity. "Given that chance I won't try that again, who suffer help". That's a typical Nigerian and World Woman.

2 Likes

Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by bigpicture001: 10:44pm On Jul 07
IgweOfNnewi:
Lies from the pit from hell, marry a virgin, I repeat marry a virgin without experience, if you have money or not you wouldn't have issues, if you marry a harlot that even give her all heavens she will go to hell to have sex, I know a woman who had a jobless husband, she was more educated and more financially stable than the man that had nothing but they are living well, even the woman took loan several times in her office to buy two cars for him for transportation and some others to buy the house they are living, they have been together for about 9years now.

That woman age is not on her side...a young naija lady can never do that ..ever!
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by vickydankal(f): 10:48pm On Jul 07
Rubbiish:

Ha!
Na wa for u o cheesy

My brother suffer no dey tired you embarassed embarassed embarassed
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by akaahs(m): 10:49pm On Jul 07
Rapmoney:
As a young man, DO NOT let anyone, whether married or not to deceive you that money does not matter in marriage. The truth is that money solves more than half of the problems in marriage, especially in a Nigerian society.

This does not mean that you must be a millionaire or be rolling in money, but have the financial capacity to provide the basic things humans need for living, and luxuries inclusive.

Any home you enter where the man commands maximum respect, observe closely, he is living up to his responsibilities as a man. There is no respect from any woman for that man who cannot provide the basic necessities. Don't let anyone deceive you. That girl that tells you today that she will run any length for you will turn to a tigress tomorrow in marriage if the major finance comes from her.

If you would be respected, make sure you have a source of income that brings a substantial amount that can provide basic necessities and at least, modest luxuries.
Na so u go dey mislead people wey no dey reason both ways. Aboki wey dey shine Ur shoes dey born ,5-6 children with the meagre income later him brothers go come dey threatene u guys with numbers to win election. Una no go get sense.
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by omodave(m): 10:51pm On Jul 07
Let those who have ear hear a wise counsel.
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by akaahs(m): 10:55pm On Jul 07
Aboki wey dey shine una shoes dey born 5-6 children and later him politician brothers go begin threatening u guys with numbers to win election.


But who told is u ll make the money u need to leave a luxury or comfortable life?? What if God arrange am Na Ur pikin go make d money, so go delay Ur destiny or what??

1 Like

Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by abimic(m): 10:55pm On Jul 07
labisibrass:
Marry am first, money will come later



The most useless advice ever!
Not entirely true, I've seen a woman who stayed with her husband when he lost his job, the woman did all she could to lift the family, she works in a good company, and earned a decent income. Funny thing is, the woman virtually won't let anyone rest, dead or alive angry, until she announces that her husband needs a job, and as God would have his way, she bankrolled the family for about six months or more till God helped the man with another job paying well. He never gave up and was always looking out for ways to help himself. Just marry right, marry a responsible person who believes in him/herself, and marry a goal getter, marry who has plans backed with actions. Funny thing is I've seen someone Got married, then things turned from grass to grace for them, from little to plenty, marriages open door for some, while for some, it spelt doom. Partners should be careful, know each other's plans, support and help eachother but above all, marry an understanding partner who pushes the best of you. Frankly, marriage is not for the faint-hearted, the bills are draining for both parties, more reason both parties should have good financial plans, plan A, plan B, plan c, plan d, plan e... Till you finally achieve close to your planned stable income level.

2 Likes

Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by Ninejaywon: 11:03pm On Jul 07
The one that annoys me most, is when a poor struggling man go born children like pig. The children go reach like 8 for house. See all of them looking malnourished and unhealthy. Damn!!! angry

2 Likes

Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by mofedamijo(m): 11:06pm On Jul 07
aribisala0:


There is no wisdom in choosing a wife grin
just luck


Goodbye


Okay, you can chose foolishly then.

Goodbyes
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by akaahs(m): 11:08pm On Jul 07
aribisala0:
There are different dimensions to the issue.


Biologically there is a competition for whose genes will inherit the earth. If you don't make babies then the offspring of one idiot will inherit the world so you need to add your genes to the mix
Exactly my point, Na aboki dey threatening us up and down with numbers to win election. Aboki we dey shine shoes don 3-6 children for house oo
Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by almarthins(m): 11:21pm On Jul 07
Rapmoney:
As a young man, DO NOT let anyone, whether married or not to deceive you that money does not matter in marriage. The truth is that money solves more than half of the problems in marriage, especially in a Nigerian society.

This does not mean that you must be a millionaire or be rolling in money, but have the financial capacity to provide the basic things humans need for living, and luxuries inclusive.

Any home you enter where the man commands maximum respect, observe closely, he is living up to his responsibilities as a man. There is no respect from any woman for that man who cannot provide the basic necessities. Don't let anyone deceive you. That girl that tells you today that she will run any length for you will turn to a tigress tomorrow in marriage if the major finance comes from her.

If you would be respected, make sure you have a source of income that brings a substantial amount that can provide basic necessities and at least, modest luxuries.

If u go marry without source of income as a man, your wife go turn u to football. Abeg no forget say Sarah in the Bible no mistakingly call Abraham "my Lord". Honey na money

1 Like

Re: Marrying As A Man When You Are Not Financially Stable by kushme: 11:23pm On Jul 07
nextstep:
So what I'm hearing is: "men, work hard, get money, get married, then spend all your money on maintaning a wife, with children" angry

Abegi... this country has enough children. Men, use your money to travel abroad, treat yourself to a spa in Asia, spend a week in the Bahamas, chill out in our Lagos resorts.

With no dependents, you can save up enough to enjoy this world, instead of spending your every waking hour being a walking wallet.

Please, loud it. Overpopulation with limited resources in hands of few individuals na eh dey cause casala for country oh

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