~~~SIXTY~~~
Since Ruth came back, she always came every morning to spend time with me, well most times she preferred spending time with my phone, chatting all morning on Facebook.



I had a Facebook account then but I rarely use it, lemme say like once a week, so I didn't bother if she logged her account on my phone, my only issue was that she should always log out when she's through to avoid temptation. No be me go carry my eyes see wetin my eyes no suppose see.



"Babe, so your sister wan do birthday and you didn't tell me?" Ruth asked me as she laid on my laps.

I was alittle startled when she asked me cause I didn't believe she'll go through my text messages.

She had never done that before, well I didn't care cause all Zuzi's messages had been archived already, you no fit see am. Na only normal text messages remain.


"Eh, abeg leave that girl, me wey no get money? I go just try send her airtime and call her that day." I replied.



"So you don't want to celebrate it for her?" She asked.



"I would have wanted to but I no get money."




"Well if me I get money, I'll make cake for her."




"What??" I freaked out.


"Na under probability oh, I'm expecting some money later this week."


"So what if you make the cake and I no come get money that day?" I asked.


"Stop worrying babe, you always figure things out. It would be okay." She encouraged me.




By midweek, she had already bought materials for cake, I weak like wetin. I no know how to tell her say I no still get money.


Now the thing is, I didn't find it cool that Ruth would bake cake and we'll sit at home to celebrate, I suppose carry my sister go one bar make we chill small but Sapa just dey do me strong thing, anybody wey I ask go dey form broke.

Wetin pain me pass be say the birthday na few days to end of month, so everyone don run out of cash and them dey expect salary so every where red, left for me, I for like prospone am but then Ruth had already started making cake, so I swallow my liver and calm down. Worrying wasn't gonna do me any good.


The birthday was gonna be on a Sunday, Saturday evening, I no get shi shi...

I had gone out earlier to calm my brain, when I arrived, a rosy tantalizing aroma designed my nostrils as I walked into my room.

I stopped in my tracks as I observed the wrapped two step cake placed on my bed.

I just pack hand put for head, like which kin Intimidation be this na? Why did this baby girl of mine just stress herself over nothing?

The feelings wey I get for her increase almost reach the level of the one wey I get for Anna.

I quickly called my sister and told her what was on ground, so I advised that we do a little get together in my house.

She immediately agreed. My kid sis had been out of town for years so as she returned, she barely made any friends in her new environment, she wasn't planning to invite anybody.

What she had in mind was for me to take her out with Ruth and any friends I might want to call along. But when I told her of her cake, she didn't care one bit, she was just screaming in joy.


"Whether we do am under bridge, as far as I go see the cake, I don't have any problem." She replied joyfully.




She took permission from my Parents, I had to call to confirm her request before she was allowed to come to my place.

She hadn't been there before so I went to pick her up at the junction.
A friend of mine had paid me a suprise visit, he used to work as a driver in the company I left, he left months after I did.

He came to check on me, bearing good news atleast and then coming to meet good news.

He was rubbing his palms and lips as he stared at the cake placed on the dining table as we waited for my sister.


The birthday was by 4pm. My guy, John arrived by 2pm to check on me, so we went to jungle to pass the time.

"Omor I almost forgot, guy this your leg no go allow you do any work?" John asked me.



"Why e no go allow me? The leg dey mad? Abeg any better dey?" I asked, excitement building in my stomach, I had a good feeling about this.


"See, I dey drive for one company now. And I need motor boy/partner, and you get talent so you fit get employment for the company join, the salary is good too but no be that one be the issue, na the side runs wey we go dey do, we fit triple our salary." He explained.


"Omor, I dey your game."




After blowing some joints, we went back home. Becky had brought us food, what was more striking was that she was dressed to kill with complete make up.


"Who wedding you wan go like this?" I asked as I fetched food for me and John.


"You think say I no know say today na your sister birthday? I been dey with Ruth when she been dey put icing for the cake, so you think say I go miss am? Your own na play."


She had brought balloons and before I'll finish eating, she had decorated the parlour. Everything was falling into place, not everything Sha, I still hadn't figured out how to get money yet for atleast drinks.



When my sister called that she was at the junction, I went to pick her with John.

Trust the celebrant nah, my dad even had time to sew a lovely gown for her, I wonder how she convinced him, it even made me more sadder that I still didn't have any money to buy her drinks, so we dey go chop cake and drink water...



Choi... E come make me remember that Collins birthday when I been dey date Grace. To worsen the matter, lightning wan strike the same position for the second time again. Chai God no go shame us.



Ruth hadn't arrived yet... So I used that time to quickly think hard.


I smiled and quickly grabbed my phone as I searched through my contacts till I saw the desired number I was looking for.

"Oga Uduak, I am loyal Sir." The voice shouted from the other side of the phone.



"Kpaki, Ubanka(Means 'Your father' In Hausa language, I still wonder why this is still considered an insult.)
Na the two days wey you say make I give you Abi?" I shouted back.

I was standing outside so I could para as I liked.


"Oga Uduak, no vex. Money no come enter my hand again."


"Money no enter your hand for one month now abi?" I asked.


"Abeg no vex, na only 1k dey my hand right now."


Eh....... 1k was sounding in my ears like one million dollars.



"Oya you go pay my bike money make I come collect am?" I asked almost excitedly.

"I dey house oga Uduak."


"Stop fuvking calling me Oga." I screamed as I cut the call and went in to inform my folks that I'll be right back.


The stupid niqqa was hailing me as he pass me the 1k, I change am for am small before bike turn back carry me go house.

I was brimming with confidence when I came down from bike but every single smile was wiped off my face as I stepped into the house.



"What is fuvking happening here?" I asked as the multiple pair of eyes stared back at me.

Collins was seated with Becky, Victor was around with one new chick I don't know, John sat with my sister and Ruth who was dressed even more than the celebrant.


Then we had Mazi and his roommate. Kai, naso I weak. See small gathering don turn something else, who invited all these brethren.

Naso I comot again go my neighbor house, go order for bottles of coke. My money finish gan. But then everyone faces brightened up as my neighbors daughter walked in with a bucket of ice cold bottles of coke, I immediately remembered that Victor was around so I collected the bucket and asked her to go back.



John was the default MC of the day. He stood up and made introductions before dropping jokes about my sister that sent her in bubbles even though he barely knew her.

Afterwards Ruth took over cake duties. The cake was big and the crowd was small so everyone had the Wow look on their faces when they got served.

Well that was after we had the best brithday shoot ever. Your's truly was the humble photographer, they had to force me before I took part in the photo shoot.


As we dey chop cake, naso we dey sip coke. It wasn't the best of birthdays but the smile on my kid sister's face was priceless. She was having fun to the fullest.

I mean, she felt like a big girl cause she was chilling with my mates and everybody treated her like the highest in the room.

See light been no dey but nobody cared, we used Collins Music box to blast music as we danced and chilled around the room.


Na half cake we send to my parents, make them know say no be child's play we dey so.


As for Ruth, after everyone had left...


I gave her a mind blowing erotic session. Even she use her mouth testify say e don tey wey I nack her like that.


Well the thing is, I had to appreciate her for all her efforts in my own way.


Ladies... Shebi if your man do better thing for you, you go appreciate am with mind blowing sex that night?



And then una say una wan dey equal as men? So I wouldn't feel ashamed to say I equal her efforts in kind.


Equation balance...... We're all equal y'all......

You do well for this man. Like play like play we don reach chapter 60. Na man you be. More ink bro.

Ruth weds Uduak 2022

Weldone uduak

---

by

Keep it rolling The rock

senior man @uduak, how far nau?

Nice one

~~~SIXTY~ONE~~~
Homies, if there's one thing that I've learnt in life, e go be say, I no dey get beef with anybody.

I don't care if you're my enemy, friend or both. If work matter join us, I go work for you with all my abilities, even though I dey make sure say my side share go dey, I no dey dull for my work at all.


Another thing is that, be good to others no matter their statue or degree in life.


When I follow John go meet my new boss, the man started laughing, I joined him too, but my own dey low Sha cause I no know if na joyful laugh or sadistic laugh him dey laugh....

Me join am to laugh with respect.


"Peter so you finally came..." He said after laughing.


The man don approach me before he started his company, say make I come work for am cause he observed how hardworking I was in my former place but I kindly turned him down even though I assisted him to look for workers, now we don come clash again, the same work wey I run from Nai I don run to now.




"See John has told me everything, I'm so glad that you were the person he brought, I guess you'll not just be motor boy, you'll be my sales manager too.


No allow big grammar deceive you Oh, all those positions na for mouth, no be for salary. Everything na base on commission, we were paid as we brought and distributed goods, which means, if main company lacks goods, we sef go calm down till goods drop again.


But then that was a little issue for me, cause I really never wanted a full time job cause I needed time for my lessons and other side jobs so I was comfortable with the whole arrangement.


Na when me and John go first trip Nai I understand why him no dey bother about wages, Asin we had a mine field of opportunities to earn as we like.


Firstly, we weren't given time limit for any of our journeys, we decided when to leave and when to come back, as far as we delivered the goods all complete, we no get problem.


Our vehicle is always empty when we're leaving, na only when we dey come back Nai we dey carry load.

So we had maximum opportunity to do and carry who and what we like.

On a good day, we fit jam villagers wey wan go market with their goods, naso we go bargain with them, upon say na bonus money we dey find, we no dey carry them for give away price o, na official rates, and them go dey beg join...


Naso we go pack them and their goods choke inside our J5 Boxer, we go close them for back like sardine, me and John go dey front dey receive fresh air and torment them with cigar smoke, while them go dey sweat like goats for back, come still pay on handsomely join.



The first time we run that business, we made 10k, John give me 3k, hold the rest, I no bother one bit because na him be the driver and even if he doesn't gives to me anything, I no fit beat am, no be my money by the way.


But the best part be say na him dey buy all the smokes and chopables for road. Even though I know say my boss dey give am feeding money for us, but still we dey chop stuffs reach 4 times before we reach our destination.



Time to time we go pick one fine chick wey dey go our way. We go put her for our middle, John go make sure say him toast the babe tire, the babe sef go think say if she flow Wella, we go give her free ride.


E dey always shock them say after John don collect their number and them reach where to drop, him go trowey face and clear the babe say make she pay me for the ride cause na me dey collect money....


Me wey no get joy, I no go smile, I go just strong face like fire wood and ask for the tp,the girl no go get choice but to pay...


Mtceeeeww, when no free things inside Freetown.......








Secondly, the job despite not tedious, it was dirty as fuvk, the funny part is that the goods do not look dirty but then before we'll pack them and arrange them for the vehicle, we'll be looking like we came out of a dry mud slide...



E dey always pain me eh, cause if I tell those girls for headquarters say na me be sales manager for the company, them go look me from head to toe burst laugh cause I look more like first class agbero/labourer.


But then as far as the money I was making wasn't dirty... I didn't give two bleeps about how I looked at the end of each trip....




Thirdly, another disadvantage we had was the fact that we had to move really early if we have more than one trip to go. Which means we move by 4am sometimes.


Now it's not because we want to hurry up, but we always travel base of timing. Now our biggest enemies on the road aren't armed robbers, but uniform men...

The dreaded FRSC officers.....



I swear the day them go give this homies guns, nobody go drive car for Nigeria again.


Now it's said that you can't actually bbe faultless in front of an FRSC officer, see if you like update all your papers, appear fresh like James Bond, if them wan fault you eh, you go shock for the kin offence wey Dem go pass give you, I get their hand book..

Very anyhow people, their offence list pass 100, see talking anyhow to an officer is also an offence, just so y'all know.



So With prior knowledge, we've mapped out their movements and routines. If we are running a double shift, we'll leave by 4.30am, before 7am, we don pass through their two major checkpoints, na around 7am them dey stand for road, by then we don dey near our destination, then we start shooting out before 10am after loading goods.


We go reach the first checkpoint by some minutes to mid-day. Now that's the best part, if we reach there like 11:30am, we go drop from our vehicle some hundred yards away.



Now that's one thing I love with Road safety officials, them no dey pursue vehicles, them go dey their position till you come meet them so even if you park your car Infront of them and come down and open bonnet, them no go disturb your life.


So if we have a thirty minutes wait, we go jejely abandon our vehicle, and enter one joint, we go cancel two bottles each before we enter road, by mid-day, them go don go break, naso we go jejely Waka continue our journey, if we're fast enough, we would beat their second checkpoint in the next town before the next batch comes out for afternoon duty, but if we're unlucky, and they are out, we'll wait for another two hours before we fit pass...



Cause if we do mistake them nab us, only charges of overloading go clear us 10k, and na better delay we go chop, so we dey make sure say we dey keep to time and always stock our vehicles with enough drinks and smokes, John doesn't hit blunts, him na cigar lord, him fit finish 2 packs of cigarettes before we reach first trip.


Our second trip is much easier cause as we dey return, them dey conclude their last duty so we fit pass easily.










~~~~~

One fateful morning, I was standing by my junction by 3am waiting for John to arrive.


We went balling the previous day, na around 10pm oga dey call us say na three trips we dey do the next day cause orders choke, so we had to leave extra early.

Despite the heads up, we still continued balling till 1am, the funny thing be say if we get journey the next day, we fit come carry motor dey day before with the excuse of using it to come pick me early in the morning....



Ifa hear, we dey carry am go steady balling all evening long, you'll be suprise the amount of chicks we would pick up, it's always fun for them, as we dey different from other car owners, we just dey feel like high men....



How I managed to wake when John called me by 3am still dey suprise me, one thing with John is that, he could shayo all night till like 4am, him fit go crash, by 5am, he'll wake up without alarm and is already up for the day.

You no go ever see am nod for steering or throughout that day. Me wey as soon as him dey pick me, I'll squeeze myself one corner and continue sleeping oh, that thing dey pain John eh, cause him dey like make we dey gist...

I go remind am say na him be driver, not me, so make him allow me sleep small biko... Most times na when we reach destination Nai I dey wake up.....






Now back to that fateful day, or should I say Unfateful Day, I was shaking from the early morning cold and pressing my phone, from the corner of my eyes, I noticed movements in front, yards away from me.


I quickly switch my phone light off and stared at the person approaching, my heart was pounding but I noticed the person also off their phone light too.



But kept walking towards my direction, I begin scan the whole scenerio, my Brian was working over time, there were no signs of any extra folks


I weighed the pros and cons, the person was almost my size, If not smaller, even though I haven't been in lots of fights, I actually know opponents that I could give a fair beating to.

The person kept coming closer but the footsteps reduced, it was almost like the person was scared of passing me.


Like what the heck would the person be thinking? Why would I be sitting by junction by 3am, if no be armed robber I be, but then the werey was walking outside by that time, so where that one comot from.



Finally the person summoned enough courage and walked pass me with dark eyes shinning fearfully in the still dark night.

I cleared my throat loudly, the person froze....




"Good morning Sir. .." a scared female voice greeted me.





Now it was my turn to freeze. Like what Wetin girl dey do by 3am alone.


This was getting interesting......... Or so I thought....

Hi homies... Make una manage the ogbonge update...


I wish I fit do more, but we dey battery management mood now, so make una bear with me....




Good night....

Thank you man for this ogbonge update.

Na here we dey, anywhere this story go I the follow bumper to bumper. Uduak my man, still you rock.

Or so u thought

Come and finish your thought

Gege, things are about to unfold, pls charge your phone full n update this story!

Make una manage this small update biko ...

~~~SIXTY~TWO~~~
I notice say the girl get small body like me, but I big pass her, I notice say her shoes dey hand, she was walking barefooted.

Time just kept still because while I was observing her, I noticed that she was kind of reluctant to go to far, like she was expecting me to call her back.

"Excuse me." I finally said as she stopped in her tracks and gently walk back to where I was sitting.



"Hi." She replied.



"Did you fall out of the sky this early morning, abi na vigil things?"


"None of the above. I was in a party last night, went home with a new guy, things didn't work out between us so he kicked me out since 2am, I've been trekking since." She explained.


The kin laugh wey I burst eh, person go think say na witches dey share grace from their meeting coven.

"Omor, the guy sef na thug. But then I think you deserve it, why you go follow person go house if you no wan get down?"



"Well, I know say me sef no try but then I was drunk and my friend was with her guy, I was with the second guy, we just met today and when he realised that I was drunk and pestering my friend to leave with me, the guy asked to drive me home, I no know how we land for him house.

He said I should rest cause my area too far and he's drunk too. I told him that he shouldn't attempt anything cause we barely know each other, the dude was a gentleman at first but as sleep dey sweet, this guy start to worry me, as I no gree, naso him say make I begin Waka dey go house.


Him no know say me I get that mind. I thanked him and left, I have been trekking and resting since."

She concluded as she sat next to me.

"Damn, that was cold though...."


"What about you, your parents locked you out?" She asked.



"Hahahaha, No. I'm waiting for my driver, na job things oo." I replied.

"Job by 3am...."



"No be wetin you dey think o, we dey go Abuja go carry goods, so we usually leave early."


"Oh!!" She breath a sigh of relief.


Like old school buddies, we chatted for awhile before I noticed headlights from afar.

John sighted me with the girl and screamed in melody.


"Peter, the baddest guy ever liveth."


For him mind him go think say I carry babe come house in the night. I allow make him stop before I opened the door and allowed the girl struggle in, I didn't give her a helping hand, if she no fit help herself, make she continue trekking nah.

On normal days, I no dey allow John stop before I jump in, as him dey match break, naso I dey open door jump in, him go just fire throttle dey go. So I was gentleman enough to open door for her atleast.



"Eh John, abeg you go help this babe, we go drop her near her area." I informed him before be would say something more distasteful.


Naso we drop the girl for her area, none of us talk for the motor till she drop, as John wan move, I jumped down and followed her.


"Hi, can I have your number so that I can come pick you up when another guy bounces you again." I joked.


She smiled and called out her number... I called it to confirm before asking for her name.



"Kemi." She said.


"Kemi, I'm Peter. I'll call you when I'm back."



"Thanks once again, you guys were God sent." She acknowledged.



"Wait, tell me say you no know that girl?" John asked as we drove off.


"Just meeting her few minutes ago."


"Omor, your liver strong, how you go stop woman by this time, what if na ogbanje?"


"Me wey be Ogbanje also nkor?"


"Kai, the babe smooth oh, if say I know say na just today una dey meet, I for don chance you." He said.



"Because your wife never do you abi? Infact if we come back, we go branch your house." I replied.



"Wetin you wan go do for my house?" He snarled.


"Your wife go don cook finish nah, you know as I like her food. I still dey wonder why you dey look outside." I said gleefully.



"No forget say na me dey drive oh, I go drive enter gutter or jam trailer make I see as your mouth go dey yarn anyhow." He jokingly threatened.


"Me wey be pastor pikin, one way ticket to heaven, you na hell candidate so no comment." I said laughing.


John swerved sharply from left to right as I quickly grabbed a handle to steady myself from the werey pikin.


"Abeg sir John, you get two children, me never born anyone and I never write my will yet, so biko no vex, I no go talk about your wife again." I shouted as I laughed.



"But wait oh, how you take give her second belly despite all the things you dey talk?"





~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First time I met John's wife, the only words that came out of my mouth after Good Afternoon Ma, was 'WOW'.

She and John are complete opposite characters in everything. John dey ginger anyhow but she rarely talks, she just gentle die and what I loved most is that she dey cook die.


The issue na their physical comparison, John na fresh boy in every ramifications, him get good height and build, better beard gang, na legendary play boy wey get babes numbers for him phone 3x that of guys.


You might say, judging from character say John might have married her for her cool head, but eh.... Una think am wrong.



I no wan insult God's creation o, but shebi una know that former governor of Edo state, that short man, just wear am weavon and you don see John wife reach 99%. Hahahahahaha.





So now what exactly happened? How did all this matter happen?





Okay, it started even before John and I met. Then he was freshest of the fresh, him dey date one sugar mummy that year wey dey pump am better cash, na for the restuarant wey him dey chop Nai him jam him wife.


She was a salesgirl there, anytime he comes to eat, she dey take risk to serve am with better extra unto say na her tribal brother.


One thing with John be say, him dey always say, na toto be him problem no be face.

John fit nack anybody as long as your toto go open for am. Him no dey discriminate.

"White pussy, black pussy, hairy pussy, dirty pussy, small pikin pussy, granny pussy."

Bring it on, his joystick is ever ready to give them the nack of their life, 99% of them always come back for more.


Back to my story. Things soon got into bed room activities with the girl, naso him lose guard go tear the babe belly o.

Na that's when gbese burst, the girl loss for like three months after she tell am say she don get belly.

She showed up again when belly don mature with her properties say him must marry her, omor na there matter enter level 2, as the guy no gree, naso she carry matter go court.

Them drag the matter tire, the girl quickly won that case, she stayed with him for the remainder of her pregnancy.

He refused eating her food all through her stay and him no dey touch her but the girl didn't give up, she kept cooking for him each day whether he ate or not, that's if he even comes home that night.


Two months after she gave birth, she laid hands on his ATM card, she knew his pin when she was giving birth cause the guy was running around with her folks, sending them to remove money from ATM.



As he left for work, she gathered her things and japka with her handsome son, naso this guy just dey receive debit alert for phone, before him go rush reach house, him account was reading zero, she withdraw everything, over 200k and disappeared again.

John wan die that period, the girl phone was on permanent switch off. Nobody knew where she went until after six months.


She resurfaced in the village, her village dey share boundaries with John own. Na John village she arrive, direct to his parents house in the village.



All this while John dey hide this matter from him folks, na the girl go tell them everything, ofcourse she left out the part where she wiped his account and fled. Na only how him dey mistreat her and never touching her food Nai she inform the parents.



She stayed with his parents till her child was about a year old. By then she don win the guy mother heart completely, truth be told, the babe is hardworking and resourceful.

So the day before his son first birthday, John's mother and wife appeared back into his life.

The mother para for am tire, come ask am to begin arrange money come pay the girl dowry before the pikin go grow too far.

As John was resist, him mother curse am, say the only thing wey go protect am from the curse na unless him settle the girl dowry.

So due to one of this two conditions, The fact that his child was his carbon copy (thank God the boy took only his mother's eyes and hair line, John gene strong Sha).
The fear of his mother and her curses.


John finally had to succumb to pressure and go pay her dowry, naso John turn married man ooo.



But that didn't stop him from being a jerk though. He still flirted outside as he loved, kept late nights tirelessly, him Sha begin chop her food cause na him money dey waste, and their sex life was as good as dead(don't ask me how I know.)


Him no dey even like talk about the wife, you gats dey very close to am before you know say him marry sef. So if I wan vex am, I go bring the wife matter, e dey always pepper am eh....








But true to God, the wife na nice woman oh, she only did what needed to be done. Na ugly she ugly, she no kill person. Hahahahaha.




~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Peter, ask your friend to take me out on my birthday nah, my birthday is in a week's time."

John's wife asked me one afternoon as I was eating while John took his bath.

"Him no dey carry you comot before?" I asked, feigning concern.



"Not even for once. Even if na to just chill at home with me, I go happy very well." She said sadly.



"Don't worry, this year would be different." I promised her.







True to my words, she called me three days later with John's phone to thank me for the good words.

No be just private birthday sef, John say she fit invite some of her friends while him go invite some of him guys too.


I was proud of myself....


Now I had another birthday to attend....

Therock5555:
If I get time and enough battery, I'll nack another update by night
...



thanks y'all for the patience...


still i rock.....

My first ever comment since I joined Nairaland after ghosting for more than 7 years.
Na man you be big bro and one day, my tales would flow on this forum too

Therock5555:
If I get time and enough battery, I'll nack another update by night
...



thanks y'all for the patience...


still i rock.....

Thank you

Abeg rock no fail to update oo hope say you don fix your light

Kudos man

The rock my man. You do well for this update. We understand the situation. We dy patient with you.

Correct man. You Rock

https://www.nairaland.com/damigoro

@damigoro

EMMY900:


My first ever comment since I joined Nairaland after ghosting for more than 7 years.
Na man you be big bro and one day, my tales would flow on this forum too

you're welcome bruh...


just grab popcorn dey fire dey go...

efeteb:
Correct man. You Rock

I hail you too sir...

Carterj007:
The rock my man. You do well for this update. We understand the situation. We dy patient with you.

thanks brotherly...

WAACUT:
Kudos man

longest time sir...

Whyzaid:
Thank you

you're welcome ma'am...

Rumpleslitskin:
Abeg rock no fail to update oo hope say you don fix your light

unfortunately NO.....


this light matter eh, be like na till election campaign start Nai one politician fit remember us, and that should be like middle of next year...



I no too get money but I dey find another house, hopefully before Christmas I suppose don move...

the frustration yaff do me, the kind mosquito wey don bite me this month, I dey take anti malaria every week.


my Brain now na 2% e dey work with...

Hi Folks....

update go drop later in the evening....

make una dey salivate....


Still I Rock....

~~~SIXTY~THREE~~~
Ever since that day we dropped off Kemi near her house, we had been communicating back to back, she turned out to be very interesting.


Nothing turns me on like a lady who is intellectually sound, as you dey bring topic, she dey bring her own.


I couldn't believe it but in the evening that same day I was sitting in front of her house gisting, laughing and drinking Hollandia Yoghurt cause I couldn't get enough of her voice on phone.


I noticed that she was on low cut that evening, so na cap weavon she wear sef, mtceeew but then she was even twice pretty, her light skin radiating in the night sky.


For some reasons, we only hang out in her house. I never invited her to mine nor took her out, cause I had lots of catch up with Ruth so I didn't want to bring in a new competitor so soon, she's still been a good girl.


Well the major thing that dragged me to Kemi was that she was a feminist, and God I love peppering the living shit out of her, most times I could cross the line and she wouldn't blink, she dey always get counter punch for me.


The matter wey come shock me with her be say she likes drinking like a fish but she doesn't likes guys that smoke, so I dey make sure say I no smoke before going to her house, sometimes we do some things just to enjoy others company...





~~~~~~~~~~~~



Convincing John to organize a birthday for his wife wasn't any easy task.

The only reason he agreed was because Victor and I promised to share the bill with him.

And he made me promise to bring Kemi instead of Ruth because he wanted to see that girl that was walking outside by 3am with confidence.






John made sure that he choosed a venue where we rarely went to, so the probability of people recognizing us might be low.





Scratch that......



If wishes were roses... I for don be the president of Uganda.... Hahahaha.

As we turn up for there, everybody just dey hail us, one of our biggest customers dey celebrate him birthday for there, so lots of recognisable faces were there....




Omor the matter choke John but it was too late, him wife don dey on her way already.

I sharperly yarn the celebrant say John wife dey do birthday that day, naso the man say we must join them, I smile look John, Bros J was keeping face like four days eba..




The table was already super lite with drinks, so there was little to no need for more drinks cause almost everything dey there. So we made calculations of the people we invited and arranged more chairs and tables.


I left to go pick Kemi up, as I dey find bike outside, John's wife showed up.

Immediately I saw her, I bursted into a wide grin, she was looking like what I don't want to say as she use make up finish her face, she come wear one black silk fitted gown.


"Ma, I swear you're looking sexy..." I hailed her as I dogde her full embrace and gave her deeper life hug, no be my shirt them go use do handkerchief.


"Thank you, where are you going to?" She asked.


"I wan go pick my babe, I'll be right back." I said.


"So you get babe? I go see her today."


I wanted to give her a wicked clap back but I respected myself and laughed while shaking my head before I mounted the bike she just came down from.





I passed to buy wine for the two celebrants, since the money wey I budget for drinks no go too dey useful, I thought of getting the celebrants a gift wey them fit carry go house after all the shayo.



Kemi was almost impatient when I arrived, my apologies did little to calm her down, so I let her be.

As we turn up for the venue, every where just choke. All the folks wey we invited don turn up, even Francis bring babe come, that's a new one.


"I don't like crowd.." Kemi said when she noticed where I was taking her to.


"So should we change venue because of you? Babe sit down and enjoy yourself, I'll be right next to you. Nobody would disturb you." I assured her.



Obviously she carry her problem from House come that birthday because I no believe say na the small delay wey I give her when I go buy wine Nai dey make her sulk like that.

Kemi shifted her chair backwards away from the sitting line when I showed her the seat.

She was taking her crowd phobia alittle bit serious. Well na her problem, I was having fun watching John, he was seated next to his wife, the wore two contrasting expressions...


The wife was smiling with her 32 teeth, I noticed that she had canceled three cans of Origin Double black, no wonder she just dey shine teeth... She get joy...




As for John, you go think say him dey burial as him squeeze him face like sour apku, him come carry hand support him chin like say them call am say him container don sink for sea.


Well what was better was that be wasn't lacking in the shayo department, John was on his sixth bottle of Hero beer.


Upon say I siddon next to am, I dey talk to am, Bobo no even look my side.

Naso I hit the ply wood of a hand wey dey support him chin, naso him snap begin para for me o.


"Peter Respect yourself ohhh, I no get joy right now." He snarled


"Oya make we change seats make you talk to Kemi, shebi I don finally bring her..."


Before I go talk finish, John don yank me off my seat and switched us before my sentence go finish sef.

As I turn, my eyes just jam John wife face, her nose just full her face, I no know where to look again sef.


I just quickly introduced her to Kemi and grab my phone to start playing game.



Immediately John wife saw my phone, she asked me to take pictures.

John dey pinch me make I no gree but trust me na, I get coconut head, I no dey hear word, I gladly agreed and stood up with my phone....




Naso I turn unofficial photographer, John wife made sure she was in about 90% percent of the photoshoot, naso I just dey see bug nose everywhere.


The only picture wey she manage snap with John, the homie dey fake phone call, him just trowey face one side.

The picture nearly kill me with laugh, as I show am later, him nearly break my phone with vex.


Naso I pursue am go meet him property, make I enjoy my own bebe....


But enjoyment was the last thing I enjoyed as soon as I sat next to Kemi.

"So you smoke? Peter." She asked me.



"Yes oh, you wan beat me for am?" I asked her laughing.



My laughter dried up as she stood up angrily.


"Peter take me home, I'm through for today." She said.


"Oya siddon make I finish my cigar na?" I replied.



She angrily walked out, ish.... Mtceeew. I be wan relax Wella when John poked my ribs and asked me to follow her.

Naso I dey smoke dey follow her outside... She never see nothing yet.

"So you even have liver to follow me outside with smoke?" She said when she saw me behind her blowing to the high heavens.



"I dey escort you nah, I no fit trowey my smoke just because I want to walk you to the road. Remember, you also decided against waiting for me to finish smoking before I escort you?" I reminded her.


She turned away from me as we waited for a bike.


She didn't even say good night as she mounted the bike.

"I'll call you later..." I shouted as the bike moved.


"Don't bother anymore." She shouted back as her bike man sped away like dog was chasing him.







Well legend has it that till today I did not bother to call Kemi again, neither did she bother to, so I guess we're good.

Naso the friendship just die just like that. I no too worry Sha... All is fair and square in times of war....



I took it in good faith.....


Whenever I want to laugh, I'll just go to my gallery and start checking those birthday pictures, if I no begin laugh like mad man then maybe I dislocate my jaw be that.....






So while I was having fun....


Karma was preparing a very delicious breakfast for me.......


The breakfast was served very Hot HOt HOT.........

Which kind interesting suspense be this naw? You Rock it man

oya make ah go bring water make you take enjoy breakfast
still no man you be

I hope say the breakfast belle full you.